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[FONT="]Please help me! I’ve been in a predicament for several months. I’ve never had a girlfriend, and until last fall, I hadn’t been thinking much about girls or marriage at all. I’ve always tried to trust that the Lord would show me who He’s destined for me to marry in His timing, and my goal has always been to be in relationships with as few girls as possible before I get married (ideally only one).[/FONT]
[FONT="]I’ve known a girl, her sister, and their family for basically my whole life because we were neighbors during most of my childhood. I’ll call her Girl 1 and her sister Girl 2. Last fall I started a conversation with Girl 1 on Facebook, and I began to feel like I was interested in her. Her words showed a ton of inner beauty and that she was a genuine woman of God. For the first time in my life, I felt like there was a REAL possibility that I had found the girl who would become my wife. I didn’t know for sure, but she seemed to really care about my life more than most of my female friends in the past had ever cared, and it seemed like she might have some feelings for me as well. Not only did her words show a lot of respect for me and interest in my life, but her sister (Girl 2) also seemed to be dropping a few hints that she (Girl 1) was interested in spending time with me.[/FONT]
[FONT="]However, there have been a few awful misunderstandings that have slowed our friendship from growing. In December, I wrote a long message to Girl 1 on Facebook, but she never replied. I began to suspect she was trying to tell me that she was only interested in being friends. Then a few days later, Girl 2 surprised me and started texting me and wanted to see me and catch up with me since we hadn’t talked much since we had been neighbors. We met at a coffee shop and had a great time reminiscing about our childhood. HOWEVER, I was beginning to be carried away by false emotions. I was under the impression that she (Girl 2) was interested in me as more than a friend, which I now know she was NOT. However, our continued texting over the next several weeks only helped (falsely) convince me that she was interested in me. Now, months later, though, my understanding of the situation is that she may have been trying to find out who I really was for her sister (Girl 1) because SHE was actually interested in me but maybe too shy to contact me herself. Apparently Girl 2 just needed someone to talk to following a difficult time in her life. She wasn’t in a relationship when we were texting regularly, but now she is again, and she doesn’t text me anymore. I’m wondering if maybe she’s realized that the weeks we spent texting had convinced me that she was interested in me and is now trying to focus my attention away from her and toward Girl 1 by ignoring me.[/FONT]
[FONT="]My first major regret came one day when Girl 2 texted me and asked me if I “liked” anybody. If she asked me today, I would gladly say, “Yeah, I like your sister!” but at the time, I forgot about my interest in Girl 1 because I still thought that she probably only wanted to be friends. I hesitated and answered almost an hour later (crazy, I know), saying that I “liked” her (Girl 2). I had and continue to have a lot of respect for Girl 2, but despite what my confused emotions were telling me, we were NOT falling in love. What a mess I had gotten myself into![/FONT]
[FONT="]The next mistake came about a week later when I visited both Girls 1 & 2 at their house. Looking back, I realize that Girl 1 was trying to get my attention and show her interest in me, but my confused emotions and shyness got the best of me. I had a great time with her that day, but again I had failed to show her that I was feeling the same way. When she said I should come back the next weekend, I said that I wasn’t sure yet because I might have been busy with homework. I want to see her again SO MUCH, but now, over four months later, we still haven’t. (I would have gladly come back to spend more time with her and even skipped my dumb homework if I had known!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]Finally, the most recent misunderstanding came a few weeks later when Girl 2 texted me again, this time directly asking me who my favorite was—her or Girl 1. This time, sadly with only a minute of hesitation, I answered “Girl 2” because I felt like I almost had to. I was still believing the lie that I was falling in love with Girl 2, and at the time, I thought she may even be asking because she was jealous of the attention (although not much attention) I had shown to Girl 1. (In hindsight, I feel so dumb, but it’s really what I was thinking!) A short time later I began to realize that Girl 2 probably asked me because Girl 1 wanted her to and that BOTH of them actually probably wanted me to answer that I liked Girl 1! Yet another mistake I would regret for months![/FONT]
[FONT="]It’s been several months since Girl 1 & I saw each other that day, but I still think about her almost every day. (A few months ago, we almost met again, but then she called it off because her cousin was coming to visit. I thought for sure that she would ask if another day would work, but she never did. I think she might have given up on me since my answers to her sister’s questions never indicated I was interested in her. However, it’s also possible that she just believes that the guy should be the one who initiates spending time together. I just don’t know!) I don’t feel like moving on with my life until this is resolved. I can’t understand my feelings. For some reason, with this girl, I’m insistent and I feel like I HAVE TO win her. This isn’t normal for my personality, so I’m confused. I’ve heard about people becoming infatuated with each other in an unhealthy way that isn’t true love, and I keep hoping that my feelings aren’t just infatuation (but I can’t say I really know). What I do know is that I’ve had crushes on girls in the past but that this time I feel different. There’s just something about her that makes me want to be with her more than I’ve ever wanted to be with anyone else. We’ve only spent a few hours together since childhood, but I can already tell we have a lot of interests and personality traits in common and, most importantly, a sincere love for the Lord and desire to follow Him. I’d literally walk a thousand miles for her…if only she knew how I truly feel about her and I knew for sure that she feels the same way. I’ve tried to give subtle hints (mostly just trying to show that I care a lot about her life by commenting on her Facebook posts) and she’s always very nice when she replies, but I suspect she may think I’m just trying to make her feel better about being “inferior” (supposedly) to her sister (Girl 2) since I said she’s not my favorite of the two (even though she REALLY is!).
[/FONT] [FONT="]I don’t really know any other good reason why Girl 2 would have asked me these questions, and given that the answers I gave were probably the answers neither of them were hoping for, it makes sense that they’ve both stopped trying to make time to meet with me again. I feel like I definitely need to tell Girl 1 how I REALLY feel about her (or at least hint by saying that I like her more than her sister), but I’m scared that she’ll think I’m a lying jerk and lose her forever! I WAS a jerk and I feel totally awful that I possibly hurt her by saying she wasn’t my favorite, so my only hope is that she’ll understand that I was confused by my emotions and believe me when I say that I didn’t realize that she was (probably) trying to find out if I was interested in her.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I’ve never needed to tell a girl how I feel about her before, and I’m scared! Neither of us has ever been in a relationship before, and we’re both introverts who usually tend to be shy, which makes things more complicated since neither of us has been very straightforward about what we’re really feeling.[/FONT]
[FONT="]How do I tell the truth and “change” my answers without sounding like I’m only interested in Girl 1 because she’s my 2nd choice (which she ISN’T) and because Girl 2 was in a new relationship and “taken” (which is also NOT a reason)? As you can probably tell, I have difficulty communicating my emotions, and ultimately I’m terrified that I’ll either say something wrong or wait too long and find out she’s lost her respect for me and/or found someone else.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I’m so glad I found your forums! I would greatly appreciate your prayers and guidance. It’s very hard for me to view this situation objectively, so your time and advice are priceless to me! I apologize if you find some parts of this confusing. Please feel free to ask me for any clarifications or more details. Thanks so much!!!![/FONT]
[FONT="]I’ve known a girl, her sister, and their family for basically my whole life because we were neighbors during most of my childhood. I’ll call her Girl 1 and her sister Girl 2. Last fall I started a conversation with Girl 1 on Facebook, and I began to feel like I was interested in her. Her words showed a ton of inner beauty and that she was a genuine woman of God. For the first time in my life, I felt like there was a REAL possibility that I had found the girl who would become my wife. I didn’t know for sure, but she seemed to really care about my life more than most of my female friends in the past had ever cared, and it seemed like she might have some feelings for me as well. Not only did her words show a lot of respect for me and interest in my life, but her sister (Girl 2) also seemed to be dropping a few hints that she (Girl 1) was interested in spending time with me.[/FONT]
[FONT="]However, there have been a few awful misunderstandings that have slowed our friendship from growing. In December, I wrote a long message to Girl 1 on Facebook, but she never replied. I began to suspect she was trying to tell me that she was only interested in being friends. Then a few days later, Girl 2 surprised me and started texting me and wanted to see me and catch up with me since we hadn’t talked much since we had been neighbors. We met at a coffee shop and had a great time reminiscing about our childhood. HOWEVER, I was beginning to be carried away by false emotions. I was under the impression that she (Girl 2) was interested in me as more than a friend, which I now know she was NOT. However, our continued texting over the next several weeks only helped (falsely) convince me that she was interested in me. Now, months later, though, my understanding of the situation is that she may have been trying to find out who I really was for her sister (Girl 1) because SHE was actually interested in me but maybe too shy to contact me herself. Apparently Girl 2 just needed someone to talk to following a difficult time in her life. She wasn’t in a relationship when we were texting regularly, but now she is again, and she doesn’t text me anymore. I’m wondering if maybe she’s realized that the weeks we spent texting had convinced me that she was interested in me and is now trying to focus my attention away from her and toward Girl 1 by ignoring me.[/FONT]
[FONT="]My first major regret came one day when Girl 2 texted me and asked me if I “liked” anybody. If she asked me today, I would gladly say, “Yeah, I like your sister!” but at the time, I forgot about my interest in Girl 1 because I still thought that she probably only wanted to be friends. I hesitated and answered almost an hour later (crazy, I know), saying that I “liked” her (Girl 2). I had and continue to have a lot of respect for Girl 2, but despite what my confused emotions were telling me, we were NOT falling in love. What a mess I had gotten myself into![/FONT]
[FONT="]The next mistake came about a week later when I visited both Girls 1 & 2 at their house. Looking back, I realize that Girl 1 was trying to get my attention and show her interest in me, but my confused emotions and shyness got the best of me. I had a great time with her that day, but again I had failed to show her that I was feeling the same way. When she said I should come back the next weekend, I said that I wasn’t sure yet because I might have been busy with homework. I want to see her again SO MUCH, but now, over four months later, we still haven’t. (I would have gladly come back to spend more time with her and even skipped my dumb homework if I had known!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]Finally, the most recent misunderstanding came a few weeks later when Girl 2 texted me again, this time directly asking me who my favorite was—her or Girl 1. This time, sadly with only a minute of hesitation, I answered “Girl 2” because I felt like I almost had to. I was still believing the lie that I was falling in love with Girl 2, and at the time, I thought she may even be asking because she was jealous of the attention (although not much attention) I had shown to Girl 1. (In hindsight, I feel so dumb, but it’s really what I was thinking!) A short time later I began to realize that Girl 2 probably asked me because Girl 1 wanted her to and that BOTH of them actually probably wanted me to answer that I liked Girl 1! Yet another mistake I would regret for months![/FONT]
[FONT="]It’s been several months since Girl 1 & I saw each other that day, but I still think about her almost every day. (A few months ago, we almost met again, but then she called it off because her cousin was coming to visit. I thought for sure that she would ask if another day would work, but she never did. I think she might have given up on me since my answers to her sister’s questions never indicated I was interested in her. However, it’s also possible that she just believes that the guy should be the one who initiates spending time together. I just don’t know!) I don’t feel like moving on with my life until this is resolved. I can’t understand my feelings. For some reason, with this girl, I’m insistent and I feel like I HAVE TO win her. This isn’t normal for my personality, so I’m confused. I’ve heard about people becoming infatuated with each other in an unhealthy way that isn’t true love, and I keep hoping that my feelings aren’t just infatuation (but I can’t say I really know). What I do know is that I’ve had crushes on girls in the past but that this time I feel different. There’s just something about her that makes me want to be with her more than I’ve ever wanted to be with anyone else. We’ve only spent a few hours together since childhood, but I can already tell we have a lot of interests and personality traits in common and, most importantly, a sincere love for the Lord and desire to follow Him. I’d literally walk a thousand miles for her…if only she knew how I truly feel about her and I knew for sure that she feels the same way. I’ve tried to give subtle hints (mostly just trying to show that I care a lot about her life by commenting on her Facebook posts) and she’s always very nice when she replies, but I suspect she may think I’m just trying to make her feel better about being “inferior” (supposedly) to her sister (Girl 2) since I said she’s not my favorite of the two (even though she REALLY is!).
[/FONT] [FONT="]I don’t really know any other good reason why Girl 2 would have asked me these questions, and given that the answers I gave were probably the answers neither of them were hoping for, it makes sense that they’ve both stopped trying to make time to meet with me again. I feel like I definitely need to tell Girl 1 how I REALLY feel about her (or at least hint by saying that I like her more than her sister), but I’m scared that she’ll think I’m a lying jerk and lose her forever! I WAS a jerk and I feel totally awful that I possibly hurt her by saying she wasn’t my favorite, so my only hope is that she’ll understand that I was confused by my emotions and believe me when I say that I didn’t realize that she was (probably) trying to find out if I was interested in her.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I’ve never needed to tell a girl how I feel about her before, and I’m scared! Neither of us has ever been in a relationship before, and we’re both introverts who usually tend to be shy, which makes things more complicated since neither of us has been very straightforward about what we’re really feeling.[/FONT]
[FONT="]How do I tell the truth and “change” my answers without sounding like I’m only interested in Girl 1 because she’s my 2nd choice (which she ISN’T) and because Girl 2 was in a new relationship and “taken” (which is also NOT a reason)? As you can probably tell, I have difficulty communicating my emotions, and ultimately I’m terrified that I’ll either say something wrong or wait too long and find out she’s lost her respect for me and/or found someone else.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I’m so glad I found your forums! I would greatly appreciate your prayers and guidance. It’s very hard for me to view this situation objectively, so your time and advice are priceless to me! I apologize if you find some parts of this confusing. Please feel free to ask me for any clarifications or more details. Thanks so much!!!![/FONT]
