Lost in what seems like forever..

[RadioU]

So, about a year ago i met this girl. i introduced her to the concept that she needed to be saved, and she accepted Jesus as her personal Savior, a couple months later we were together. after six months it got towards the end of my first semester and i was under the gun with school.. she was brilliant through out all of this, never asking for attention, always understanding, always loving me despite my failures.. i did not treat her as she deserved, while i never did anything mean, i didnt listen to her very well, and didnt make time for her, and overall was not the kind of boyfriend i wanted to be. so when it came to the end of the semester i ended up breaking up with her because i felt like i was being a terrible boyfriend and wanted to take some time so i could be the man she needed. The other factors that contributed to our breakup was my best friend at the time encourging me to beak it off with her (my bestfriend had never liked her), the fact that i still was not completly open with her (i have huge trust issues in relationships), and the fact that we had gone further physcially than i had wanted to. (i had always wanted my first kiss to be when i proposed).

when i broke up with her she was devastated, literally she cried for days, and i was there to help her through it, because i explained to her that i wanted something in the future, and that i would always be there for her. she accepted this and we moved forward. then recently i got myself set in better and was ready to ask her out again and she started to date a non christian named mitch. after dating for a week she ended up sleeping with him.. after this i told her that she needed to break up with him regardless of what she did with me. she did and then the next wek she asked if she watned her to wait for me.. i almost said yes on the spot but since the mitch incident i was afraid so i told her to wait for my answer.. a week later i told her yes. i want you to wait for me, but she then told me that she had already started moving on and needed time to think.. later that day she told me that she couldnt wait for me.. i was destroyed by this because the whole time i had thoguht that i would end up back with her.. three days later she is dating another guy..

i dont understand women... i told her i truly love her, and she openly admits that she loves me, but says that she doesnt know if we can ever date..
help....

 

[jimmydiggs]

Not entirely certain, but I think you really hurt your chances breaking up the first time.

 

[MaggieMye]

You're 18!!! Your FOCUS should be on Jesus, not on girls. Let God choose your mate. (This one sounds like a continuing D R A M A).

Read 'Kiss Dating Goodbye' and "God is Your Matchmaker"

Remember that the HEART can decieve you!!
Maggie

 

[seaco711]

You're 18!!! Your FOCUS should be on Jesus, not on girls. Let God choose your mate. (This one sounds like a continuing D R A M A).

Read 'Kiss Dating Goodbye' and "God is Your Matchmaker"

Remember that the HEART can decieve you!!
Maggie

oh not this again. DON'T "kiss dating goodbye." There are plenty of Christian authors that have written books taking the opposite viewpoint. Not dating is ridiculous.

Definitely trust God in all of your relationships, but don't expect him to bring you someone if you never date. There is a joke about a man being lost at sea and praying to God to save him. Numerous boats pass by, but he says "no, i don't need your help: I'm waiting for God to save me." Don't sit around and not date because you're "waiting on God to bring you THE ONE."

To the original poster...

Trust me, it's perfectly okay to be upset and concerned by this whole thing. I know I would be. It's perfectly natural to have a focus on girls; you're a teen guy! It's fine. I do think you made a mistake in breaking up with her; you can always fix problems with relationships while you're in them, but getting out of them because of problems is rarely the right thing to do unless it's serious (in this case it was not.)
However, the first thing you need to determine is if you would want to be with her or not. For me, it would be all about the sex issue. If she regrets doing it and genuinely knows she made a mistake, consider wanting her back. If not, you shouldn't consider it.
If you do want her back, you have to talk to her about it and just hope she goes for it. Explain that you shouldn't have broken up with her in the first place, but explain why you thought you needed to.
That's about all you can do.

 

[RadioU]

You're 18!!! Your FOCUS should be on Jesus, not on girls. Let God choose your mate. (This one sounds like a continuing D R A M A).

Read 'Kiss Dating Goodbye' and "God is Your Matchmaker"

Remember that the HEART can decieve you!!
Maggie

I dont know why you seem to be against dating entirly, i have read through other posts and this is all you seem to reply with. As far as drama goes no, i am very low key, i just cant seem to understand her decisions with other males...

 

[RadioU]

oh not this again. DON'T "kiss dating goodbye." There are plenty of Christian authors that have written books taking the opposite viewpoint. Not dating is ridiculous.

Definitely trust God in all of your relationships, but don't expect him to bring you someone if you never date. There is a joke about a man being lost at sea and praying to God to save him. Numerous boats pass by, but he says "no, i don't need your help: I'm waiting for God to save me." Don't sit around and not date because you're "waiting on God to bring you THE ONE."

To the original poster...

Trust me, it's perfectly okay to be upset and concerned by this whole thing. I know I would be. It's perfectly natural to have a focus on girls; you're a teen guy! It's fine. I do think you made a mistake in breaking up with her; you can always fix problems with relationships while you're in them, but getting out of them because of problems is rarely the right thing to do unless it's serious (in this case it was not.)
However, the first thing you need to determine is if you would want to be with her or not. For me, it would be all about the sex issue. If she regrets doing it and genuinely knows she made a mistake, consider wanting her back. If not, you shouldn't consider it.
If you do want her back, you have to talk to her about it and just hope she goes for it. Explain that you shouldn't have broken up with her in the first place, but explain why you thought you needed to.
That's about all you can do.

We have talked about this a couple of times.. every time i explain everything as to why we broke up she says that she understands but still tells me that she doesnt see me in the same way anymore and is unsure if she ever will..

 

[juliet84]

I wouldnt go back to my ex..just saying...and I just dont know why myself,..its just natural

 

[seaco711]

We have talked about this a couple of times.. every time i explain everything as to why we broke up she says that she understands but still tells me that she doesnt see me in the same way anymore and is unsure if she ever will..

Then YOU need to move on too. Once you do, you'll feel much better. Trust me.

 

[lightbliss]

Perhaps she doesn't see you the same way because she's been with other guys?

If someone says they love you but they're in a relationship with someone else, well... if they loved you they wouldn't be contradicting themselves. And they definitely wouldn't be with someone else while you weren't available.

I think you should move on.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

wait wait wait........ so your friend told you to break up with her, you did... then you want her to wait for you...... psshh

 

[NukePooch]

Um...near as I can figure, you're upset because you broke up with a woman that you loved, now you can't understand why she's moving on and doesn't want to date you?
Yeah, women are so weird...I think she should be pleased as punch to date the guy who hurt her badly in the first place, and has since told her to break up with other guys...then avoiding any sort of commitment when she did.

I'm seeing all sorts of jealousy here.

 

[Jullianna]

You were admittedly not a good boyfriend to her and then you broke up with her. Sounds like her heart was broken. I can't imagine wanting to get back together with someone under those circumstances. I would want to move on.

And sometimes a young lady will jump from guy to guy in an attempt to repair a broken heart. It's not good, but it happens.

If you truly love someone and you prayerfully believe they are the person God wants you to be with, you don't walk away from them. People don't belong on the layaway plan.

 

[GOD_IS_LOVE]

To me it doesn't seem she had real feelings for you, being able to move on SO QUICKLY, not only once, but twice. My advice would be to get closer to God and pray for the romantic aspect of your life. God bless you!

 

[White_Wolf]

My brother, you are 18. Don't stress over what you are unable to control! In trying times, and times of trouble, only God will deliver you and show you the path which you should take. It seems to me that though their was noble intent through out most of your story; that you and her weren't truly focused on the Lord!

I she is dating a non Christian now, then that should help give you insight as to where her priorities and heart is.

You are both young, grow, mature with Christ, and leave the things that you are unable to control in Gods hands.

 

[DanuckInUSA]

I would speak with her and explain you are not looking to date. Pray first and if you love this girl, court her. don't date but explain that you want to pursue a relationship with marriage in God as the purpose.

 

[alice_q1]

I agree with you white _wolf, the best thing to do is for you to focus on God by searching His words, then follow what God wants you to do. For sure God wants the best for you, just wait for His perfect will for you.