Ladies: How to pursue a guy without pursuing him

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W

wayland

Guest
#81
#81
Just as a data point for people, the things that I think would be most relevant for me are 2, 5, 6, and 9, possibly in that order (unless #6 should be higher). Also, be interested in some of the same things I'm interested in. I've met a number of wonderful Christian ladies over the years with whom I haven't shared any common interests other than Christ, so I've never had any interest in chasing after them (and they've probably been just as glad). Having said that, don't pretend to be interested in things that you're really not at least somewhat interested in -- it will just make you unhappy in the long run. HTH,
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#82
#82
For the same reason that Jullianna thought that "50 Positive Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship" should stay on the top of the threads.
 
M

Moriah

Guest
#83
#83
Thanks for posting this. Yes, in a relationship the guy should take the lead. But more to this is actually some cultural differences, in the context of the Philippines, generally, women just wait until a guy does something. We are more traditional(generally) than from the west. Filipinas are known to be sweet, loving, caring and keeper of families as we are brought up to be family-oriented people. I guess to us, the best adventure is to be pursued first and waiting on God.Considering that not all "good" things including ideal men are the right ones for us. :) Oh just an opinion and yes culture is relative.
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#84
#84
I actually try to take my cue from Ruth.. She was living for God with her mil Naomi and she just tried to glean (work) and do what she needed to take care of them both.. BUT GOD.. He puts her in a field of a respected and wealthy man of integrity and that man notices Ruth.. (he notices HER).. at that point, because he speaks to her..taking notice..wanting to know who she was and even eating a meal with her, she notices him...but doesn't notice that he notices her :) as she is still oblivious and has her mind on things she needs to do..tho I am sure she was attracted to him..and since she had been previously married she was probably also unsure how to let go of her dead husband.
BUT GOD.. Naomi's heart tells her that something is up and that Ruth needs to make it know that she too is interested because Boaz would be a great provider and because Ruth needed someone to love..and take care of besides her.. so she tells Ruth to go lay at Boaz feet (um..don't do it ladies this was a custom in that day LOL)
at first Boaz isn't sure what to do because he never thought Ruth would actually be interested and he was content in merely making sure she had all she needed by way of provision..
also, the custom was that she marry her husbands next of kin..
well..this next of kin wasn't interested and neither was Ruth so she lets Boaz know she chooses him..
the rest is history as they marry and she becomes the great grandmother of David because she submitted to Naomi and she allowed herself to be caught :)

God taught me a long time ago not to pursue a man who may not be interest by always having me choose the wrong ones.. even the ones that pursued me.. I don't know whats best for me but HE does.. that is why , tho sometimes I feel unattractive and undesireable due to not having anyone pursue, I know God can stir the heart of someone sometime..its not like I am under a rock.. on the platform..i can't hide..and I do grocery shop :) lol
and like Moriah said.. not all men are right for us..so we need to be careful who WE pursue without pursuing :)
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#85
#85
InkedFaith said:
My experience is that if someone likes me then they will tell me. I look a lot different than most people so I don't generally start conversations with people because of the reactions I get from the tattoos and piercings. So most girlfriends i ever find really find me. I am generally a strong person and very social but I also know the effect my appearance has on people so I tend to lay back and let a girl talk to me first.
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be careful!!
that is the way to get the wrong woman.
be a strong man of God even with the piercings and tattoos..
do the work of the ministry..
and if you see a girl you like, pray about it and talk to her..if God opens the door..
but if you make them come to you.,..like so many of my male christian friends who are single,
you may end up getting a girl who is not very christian :)
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#86
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#86
How to pursue a guy without pursuing him? Really now? Wouldn't it just be easier to set a trap? They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I could just bake some cookies, leave the plate out in the open, and wait in the bushes with a tranquilizer gun. Then all I have to do is wait for a guy to come along, shoot him with the tranq gun, and then drag his unconscious body all the way back to my house without anybody noticing. And voila..helloooooo significant other! Just kidding...................maybe :3 Muahahahahaha

On a serious note though..I'm not too keen on these points listed, especially no. 9. I'd rather be with a guy who notices me in jeans and a t-shirt instead of with a guy who'd only notice me first if I wore a dress. Geez.

Personally I think the best way to pursue a guy without actually pursuing him is to get lost in God. I love that saying that says "A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man must seek Him in order to find her". A friend of mine felt God leading her to pray for a husband when she really wanted one. She prayed for three years before God brought her husband along. They're happily married now and have three beautiful kids. If you're interested in a guy, pray about it, ask God to lead the guy to you, and if he's not the one, then for Him to lead the guy away. Honestly, I'd rather let God write my love story. Let Him bring along the right guy, at the right time, instead of me showing interest and signs of said interest in a guy that I have no business being interested in.
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#87
#87
Number 1 + Good eye contact is all a lady really needs......A guy would have to be extremely stupid not to know your interested if your doing that
 
I

Isdaniel

Banned
#88
Oct 14, 2013
4,750
21
0
#88
Phia said:
How to pursue a guy without pursuing him? Really now? Wouldn't it just be easier to set a trap? They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I could just bake some cookies, leave the plate out in the open, and wait in the bushes with a tranquilizer gun. Then all I have to do is wait for a guy to come along, shoot him with the tranq gun, and then drag his unconscious body all the way back to my house without anybody noticing. And voila..helloooooo significant other! Just kidding...................maybe :3 Muahahahahaha

On a serious note though..I'm not too keen on these points listed, especially no. 9. I'd rather be with a guy who notices me in jeans and a t-shirt instead of with a guy who'd only notice me first if I wore a dress. Geez.

Personally I think the best way to pursue a guy without actually pursuing him is to get lost in God. I love that saying that says "A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man must seek Him in order to find her". A friend of mine felt God leading her to pray for a husband when she really wanted one. She prayed for three years before God brought her husband along. They're happily married now and have three beautiful kids. If you're interested in a guy, pray about it, ask God to lead the guy to you, and if he's not the one, then for Him to lead the guy away. Honestly, I'd rather let God write my love story. Let Him bring along the right guy, at the right time, instead of me showing interest and signs of said interest in a guy that I have no business being interested in.
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Hope you could bake cuz if them cookies aint cuuting it hmmmmmmmmmmmmm the way to make a man runnnnnn is also by his stomach LOL
 
I

Isdaniel

Banned
#89
Oct 14, 2013
4,750
21
0
#89
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her


"A man's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a woman should have to seek Him first to find him
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#90
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#90
Isdaniel said:
Hope you could bake cuz if them cookies aint cuuting it hmmmmmmmmmmmmm the way to make a man runnnnnn is also by his stomach LOL
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ROTFL!!!!! I'm pretty blessed :) I'm actually pretty good at baking and cooking. But yeah lol, I totally agree. Ladies do not try the stomach route unless you know how to make EDIBLE food. If not..please keep a stomach pump on hand.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#91
#91
*hopes Liamson doesn't see post #89* If he does, run for cover :D
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#92
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#92
:mad:

I'll use an illustrative diagram....

Maya Angelou.png



Also, i'm trademarking the bottom half and hoping to make T-Shirts or something :D
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#93
#93
It's he who finds a wife not she who find s husband but the sentiment is good :)
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#94
#94
Liamson.. Can you explain? Sorry I wanted to work it out but wasn't sure what some symbols meant,..
 
Cee

Cee

Senior Member
#95
May 14, 2010
2,169
473
83
#95
I volunteer for this cookie trap. ;)

Phia said:
How to pursue a guy without pursuing him? Really now? Wouldn't it just be easier to set a trap? They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I could just bake some cookies, leave the plate out in the open, and wait in the bushes with a tranquilizer gun. Then all I have to do is wait for a guy to come along, shoot him with the tranq gun, and then drag his unconscious body all the way back to my house without anybody noticing. And voila..helloooooo significant other! Just kidding...................maybe :3 Muahahahahaha

On a serious note though..I'm not too keen on these points listed, especially no. 9. I'd rather be with a guy who notices me in jeans and a t-shirt instead of with a guy who'd only notice me first if I wore a dress. Geez.

Personally I think the best way to pursue a guy without actually pursuing him is to get lost in God. I love that saying that says "A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man must seek Him in order to find her". A friend of mine felt God leading her to pray for a husband when she really wanted one. She prayed for three years before God brought her husband along. They're happily married now and have three beautiful kids. If you're interested in a guy, pray about it, ask God to lead the guy to you, and if he's not the one, then for Him to lead the guy away. Honestly, I'd rather let God write my love story. Let Him bring along the right guy, at the right time, instead of me showing interest and signs of said interest in a guy that I have no business being interested in.
Click to expand...
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#96
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#96
Chey60 said:
Liamson.. Can you explain? Sorry I wanted to work it out but wasn't sure what some symbols meant,..
Click to expand...
Liamson said:
View attachment 61358
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Man plus Seeking (by the power of his heart) for Christ does not Equal Christ and a Woman for the man.

A Man (to the power of Christ) plus a search for a woman (to the power of Christ) equals a Marriage in pursuit of Christ.

A man searching with his heart for a woman minus Christ equals A marriage minus Christ, divided by death.
 
Cee

Cee

Senior Member
#97
May 14, 2010
2,169
473
83
#97
Pursuing is good, if a girl is attracted a guy, if not it's stalking.

Batman is merely giving tips to how we guys look to see if a girl is attracted.

I agree with your tips Batman.

As a guy I've seen many times a girl is interested in a guy, but he doesn't know it.

And nice guys generally aren't a glutton for rejection/punishment. The guys who don't mind unfortunately aren't always the good Christian guys that girls should be with.

So, we either get the nice guys to be more direct or we get the nice girls to be more obvious.

I think both approaches are viable.

C.
 
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