I’ve mentioned before that the “natural rule” is that men should pursue women and not the other way around. The main reason being is that if a man can’t take the lead in the beginning of the relationship (by asking you on a date or to be in a relationship with him) then he most probably won’t be able to take the lead in many essential aspects of your relationship journey together and that often creates major problems.
But there are ways of letting a guy know that you are interested in him without pursuing him, especially when there is competition involved. Below are some helpful points:
1. Make more physical contact with him, eg: touch his arm, shoulder, hand, etc. when talking to him.
2. Make sure that you look and are genuinely interested in his conversation, and ask his opinion on certain topics (every guy loves it when you take note of what he is saying or when you ask his opinion of things especially when it’s a topic close to his heart; it makes him feel intelligent, important, valued, and wanted…and believe me that every guy in the world loves feeling that way).
3. Make eye contact as often as possible (but not in a psychotic way, look away now and then).
4. Send him a sms or mail now and then (not everyday) asking him how his day/week/weekend was, or that you heard a song/story and it reminded you of him.
5. Laugh at his jokes (you will get the same results as point: 2).
6. Give him more attention than other people.
7. Don't act tooooo friendly towards him as he will think that you only want be a friend to him; he might be getting confused signals from you and won’t know if he will get rejected by you or not if he should decide to pursue you.
8. Invite him to parties, to a wedding as a wedding partner, social events, etc.
9. Make your hair nice, wear a bit of make-up, and dress well when you know you are going to be in his presence; women are emotionally-stimulated but men are visually-stimulated…if two women would walk into a room; the one wearing a jeans and t-shirt, and the other wearing a red dress, then all the guys in the room will notice the woman wearing the red dress first. I said it before that you don’t have to have a body of a supermodel to get men’s attention, you just have to know what clothes, make-up, hairstyles, and etc. that works for you. Remember: that it’s not about the contents in a gift (personality) that counts the FIRST TIME ROUND, it’s the package (the way you present yourself) that gets men’s attention…your personality are revealed little by little the more he gets to know you (and that is what he will fall inlove with) but you need to try and get him to notice you for him to have the chance to get to know your personality.
You will notice in all of the above points that nowhere does it indicate that you are asking him on a date or to be in a relationship with you, especially with point: 8 (you are just asking him to accompany you to these events and not to go on a date with you…make sure that you ask him “would you like to ACCOMPANY ME to a wedding/party/etc.” or “would you like to ACCOMPANY ME to our church/youth event/services/etc.”).
The line drawn between the points above and the act of pursuing is that if you ask him out on a date or tell him that you like him and would want to be in a relationship with him then YOU are pursuing him, rather wait until he does those things to you.
Hope that helps you a bit.
All of the best.