Found myself going there and left

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SocialArtist

Guest
#1
Really interesting. I haven't dated a Christian woman since late 2008. I probably dated anywhere from 5-9 off the top of my head from 2005-2008. The group I attended for years imploded just 8 months later. I devoted myself to dating worldly women. It became a massive nightmare fast. God opened the door for resolvable chaos. So I slammed the door shut on worldy women.

Truthfully, the craziest part is I'm in my biggest drought with dating Christian women since I started in 2005. I'm on the fast lane to 3 years. Fact is... I'm stronger than ever with women, self-confidence, knowledge and experience. Far superior to where I was when opportunity was available left and right.

So the true problem is christian group availabilty. Everyone got married and went there seperate ways in 2009.

Recently, I found myself search google for local groups. I found one. They had a bible study... at someone's house. I got invited out. When I arrived late one night.. I saw about 2 cars parked there. I literally sat in my car for 20 minutes. I didn't stand out because all the lots were filled with cars to other houses so it wasn't suspect for me to look like I was in stakeout.

Seeing as how I'd yet to attend the church, meet the people at church. I spoke to the Pastor's wife who invited me out. I had found it quite odd just taking part in a home bible study amongst people I frankly didnt know. Had the group been large I would've entered. So after no further cars arrived.. I drove off. Minutes later down the street I passed the church they were from and it was crazy small. I never did attend.

I promised myself years ago never to start attending groups out of loniless, bordem or last ditch desperation. It just starts you off on a bad leg in my view. Start from a position of strength I always say. I sort of felt like I loser, going there and again had the group been large I could've blended in. A 2-5 person group ain't my cup of tea.

I always say you can meet God anywhere, meet Christians at any church, praise and worship anytime, read the bible anytime but as a single a place with date options is the most ideal church to spend your single years.

My point for writing is I'm praying for God to do what he did for me in 2005 and again from 2006-08... to please open up the opportunities for me to fellowship with fellow young adults. This will allow me new christians friends as well as dating options.. now some woman will probably reply saying looking for options is wrong.. well that's your opinion. I say know everyone well... and amongst numerous females I reserve the right to pick and choose.. and at a given time select whom I want to truly dedicate myself too. That's why I want options.. so I can pick well and not have to settle or overhype a woman who's not worth it.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#2
I think looking for otions is great we cant expect a mate to fall from the sky into our laps. That aint gonna happen. I havnt had a date in 3 yrs either. It kinda stinks, but it is what it is. I have to remind myself sometimes that just like I have turned down numerous guys, there are guys who just arent interested in me too.

I think its all about timing. Being at the right place at the right time to meet that right person. I think in order to do that though you have to open up otions. Get involved with different activities and find new interests. This maximizes your social circles wich widens the dating pool because you will meet so many more people. It also helps you to fellowship in general and make new friends.
 
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S

SocialArtist

Guest
#3
I think looking for otions is great we cant expect a mate to fall from the sky into our laps. That aint gonna happen. I havnt had a date in 3 yrs either. It kinda stinks, but it is what it is. I have to remind myself sometimes that just like I have turned down numerous guys, there are guys who just arent interested in me too.

I think its all about timing. Being at the right place at the right time to meet that right person. I think in order to do that though you have to open up otions. Get involved with different activities and find new interests. This maximizes your social circles wich widens the dating pool because you will meet so many more people. It also helps you to fellowship in general and make new friends.
lol... To clarify I've had a date recently. Just not a christian date in 3 years.

I don't think timing is much of a factor as is opportunity. Options generate chances. Chances generate relationships which go from there for higher or lower. Again I'm just like a player in the game. I want the ball for a few snaps to work towards a touchdown. Just want on the field. I've had my time away and I want back in.

I see God slamming doors shut in my face when it comes to non-christian women. So I always say if you're so quick to slam doors on non-christian women then please open the door for christian women. From no one do I wish to here the reply... well, maybe God has things to work on in you. Just not listening to that. God has all the time he wants to work in me, bottomline. Yesterday, today and forever.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#4
Well timing is a factor too when it comes to options. If you ar not in the right place at the right time then you may not see the same options.

For instance, I recently joined a new church who's numberes have been growing and they have decided to have a singles group which they have never had before. Valentines day was our first event. The timing of me joining this church allowed me this option of fellowshipping with other christian singles, which was something I really needed and was one of the reasons I left my old church. Had I come to the church much earlier I wouldnt have had the option when I felt I needed it and may not have stayed.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#5
lol... To clarify I've had a date recently. Just not a christian date in 3 years.

I don't think timing is much of a factor as is opportunity. Options generate chances. Chances generate relationships which go from there for higher or lower. Again I'm just like a player in the game. I want the ball for a few snaps to work towards a touchdown. Just want on the field. I've had my time away and I want back in.

I see God slamming doors shut in my face when it comes to non-christian women. So I always say if you're so quick to slam doors on non-christian women then please open the door for christian women. From no one do I wish to here the reply... well, maybe God has things to work on in you. Just not listening to that. God has all the time he wants to work in me, bottomline. Yesterday, today and forever.
And y are you laughing at me because i havent had a date in three years? Do I amuse you?
 
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SocialArtist

Guest
#6
And y are you laughing at me because i havent had a date in three years? Do I amuse you?
I was laughing because you misinterpreted me and wanted to make sure I corrected it asap lol
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#7
Yeah, I have to say I know what you are feeling and dealing with because I'm a drought too.

Back in 2005 I was going to a group thing Called Hebrews. It was a Coffee shop just full of Single people. I was pretty young at the time, too young for marriage. But I thought that group would sort of always exist. 20-35 people that hung out on friday nights, had a Bible Study and listen to whoever brought a guitar until all hours of the night.

All of those single people got married and I had to move away. Ever since I feel like I've been chasing the Dragon, looking for a group like that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm in a Bible study now, its cool but its also pretty much just 10 guys, that Study play music and if no girls show up, play X-boX.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#8
I know what your goin through, just today i found myself in the adult diaper section...... then left.
 
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DanuckInUSA

Guest
#10
lol creepy.
 
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SocialArtist

Guest
#12
Yeah, I have to say I know what you are feeling and dealing with because I'm a drought too.

Back in 2005 I was going to a group thing Called Hebrews. It was a Coffee shop just full of Single people. I was pretty young at the time, too young for marriage. But I thought that group would sort of always exist. 20-35 people that hung out on friday nights, had a Bible Study and listen to whoever brought a guitar until all hours of the night.

All of those single people got married and I had to move away. Ever since I feel like I've been chasing the Dragon, looking for a group like that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm in a Bible study now, its cool but its also pretty much just 10 guys, that Study play music and if no girls show up, play X-boX.
Yeah that's another issue. When I was younger and less experienced I had constant access to single christian women. Then it seemed right around the time I peaked as a stronger more mature christian man the group imploded. Everyone got engaged, married and feuded over wedding dates.

I've tried numerous churches since but haven't found anything sufficient. I like your term chasing the dragon. It's very embarassing to know I had things going better at 21 than at 27.

Yeah, I can understand about your bible study... it's good to get educate and kill a night with friends but deep inside we all know it would be better spent if women who peaked our interest were present. I laughed when you mentioned playing x-box lol. But see thats another problem about church groups if men and women aren't balanced in numbers, the later bails out hence x-box coming into play. And those women may join other groups with the following intro story "Yeah I was apart of a group, mostly guys though, they were are all cool and nice but just not enough women there for me to feel apart of the place."

You wouldn't believe how many men's and women's groups have sprung up here lately. My buddies are always pushing for me to attend it and I'm like if I'm leaving my house, women better be there... if I want to hang around with guys I'll head to the gym.
 
S

SocialArtist

Guest
#13
I know what your goin through, just today i found myself in the adult diaper section...... then left.
Don't know if I was being ridiculed or you're just joking...

Either way, yes if you find yourself going there... make sure you left
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#14
Don't know if I was being ridiculed or you're just joking...

Either way, yes if you find yourself going there... make sure you left

Yes you were being ridiculed. But Nod does that to everyone. And so does Nuke. You are fairly new so watch out for those two. lol
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#15
Yeah that's another issue. When I was younger and less experienced I had constant access to single christian women. Then it seemed right around the time I peaked as a stronger more mature christian man the group imploded. Everyone got engaged, married and feuded over wedding dates.

I've tried numerous churches since but haven't found anything sufficient. I like your term chasing the dragon. It's very embarassing to know I had things going better at 21 than at 27.

Yeah, I can understand about your bible study... it's good to get educate and kill a night with friends but deep inside we all know it would be better spent if women who peaked our interest were present. I laughed when you mentioned playing x-box lol. But see thats another problem about church groups if men and women aren't balanced in numbers, the later bails out hence x-box coming into play. And those women may join other groups with the following intro story "Yeah I was apart of a group, mostly guys though, they were are all cool and nice but just not enough women there for me to feel apart of the place."

You wouldn't believe how many men's and women's groups have sprung up here lately. My buddies are always pushing for me to attend it and I'm like if I'm leaving my house, women better be there... if I want to hang around with guys I'll head to the gym.
I guess the really sad fact is this is where I grew up. I spent 6 years in the Navy and now that I'm back, I know every church in the valley and pretty much every girl that goes to church here. Real Women just don't exist here or something.

The Girls that we do get, aren't women and that can be frustrating enough in and of itself. Its like the deeper into the Bible study we get, the harder they fixate on their iPhone app. Or they go from the Bible study to a Bar.

I think I just need to move.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#16
You should move to the south if your not already in the south. Every other woman is a christian.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#17
Its funny you should say that ;)

Because that is exactly what I intend to do. I used to live in Georgia, that was the best 3 years of my life. I have friends in Georgia and Mississippi, so I'm already making plans.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#18
Ha! thats the two places where my family lives!
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#19
Yes you were being ridiculed. But Nod does that to everyone. And so does Nuke. You are fairly new so watch out for those two. lol
HEY! I resemble that remark!
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#20
Well I'm certainly going to be in Mississippi around Columbus in April-ish but in the Fall I have to visit some friends in southern Georgia.