Understanding the Ex's

[lordsservant121]

I was wondering is it possible to have an Ex, whether wife or girlfriend, do something that cause the relationship to end and be so mad at themselves that they want you to hate them, but when you don't, they get mad and treat you bad so that you will hate them?

Let me explain: I had a girlfriend who cheated on me (before I was a believer) with my best friend. I saw her recently and she was just so angry with me that she embarrassed me in front of some people that I was informing about GOD. I started to talk to her and she was saying things that were hurtful and untrue. She kept saying I understand if you hate me, which I replied I didn't. The more I said I wasn't angry or that I didn't hate her, the angrier she got. I was finally asked to leave the community center so she would and could calm down. I saw her at the mall yesterday and she said she felt so mad at herself for doing what she did that she sees me and gets angry at me because I don't hate her.

My Ex-wife is less than friendly to me and never wants to talk about anything. She has called me a stalker, a psycho and so on. All I want is information on my daughter, not about her personal life, but never-the-less, she is always mad at me. She did respond to my text yesterday, which she has never done but is it possible to act toward someone, in a way, so they will treat you how you feel you should be treated?

In my Ex's defense, for a while I felt like I had no closure. She just stopped feeling what she had and moved on. She went to the next stage and I was left wondering what happened. I never followed her or asked about her or anything and she still felt like I was invading her privacy. I would take her back in a second but only if that is GOD's wish for us, if not then I am good. Sorry to ramble but once I started typing I couldn't stop. Thank you and GOD bless.

 

[FireWire]

Women are messed up.

My ex cheated on me then dumped me and I got the entire blame. I gave up trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

 

[seoulsearch]

It's not only the women. I came home from work one day to find half the house cleaned out--my then-husband had moved out without telling me anything about it. About a year later, I found out about his girlfriend (from someone who saw them together--up until then I never had a reason as to why he left and did not have a seemingly Biblical reason for divorce until then. He divorced me without any word as to why.)

And he never spoke to me again, aside from our court date. I was devastated but now I guess it's a blessing. As a Christian, of course we want to believe the best for people and pray for them. I have never stayed in touch with an ex in any way, shape, or form. At first it hurt a lot, seeing as I know some people who say, "I'm better friends with my ex now than when we were together," but the best part is that I have a 100% clean heart if God has anyone else in store for me in the future.

If not, I'll live, but otherwise, I'm glad that if I do meet someone, he doesn't have to worry about me having any shrines built up for any old flames. I know some people have no choice but to keep dealing with exes because of kids, etc.--all I can say is, I'll help you pray for strength!

 

[Stuey]

Yeah lords... if I was taking a guess I'd say that she wants you to hate her so that she can feel that you are responding appropriately?? She might be feeling shamed & feeling bad because you are acting so nice towards her even after what she did. Where she feels that you should be treating her like she feels she deserves to be treated.

Actually yeah just what you said. These things do weird things to people.

 

[Sevndust]

it's good to see some people move on with their lives such as yourself. i'm guessing part of the reason you aren't angry with her is because you have moved on and are past it. you probably were angry at one point but you realized it's not worth remaining sour about it because ultimately you'd be paying the price...you'd be allowing yourself to suffer. i say more power to ya. many many things are inevitable and they will happen regardless of any measure we take to try preventing it.

 

[Batman1978]

I'm guessing the reason she is more angry at you than you for her is that she still have those guilty feelings of cheating on you. You sound like a nice guy and I guess anyone would feel very guilty if they have betrayed a nice person, if you were a jerk then I bet she would feel less guilty (and yes I know you may not have been the most perfect boyfriend to her).

Its clear that she still didn't resolve the guilt. Did she ever apologise to you for cheating on you? I'm also guessing she didn't ask God for forgiveness for her act, if she did then it looks like she don't know how to accept that forgiveness.

If you do see her again then tell her that she is forgiven and that you have let it go. And mention the truth to her: that she is a valuable person and is valued by you and mostly God.

Thats my opinion, hard to say especially if you don't know the details of the situation.

Peace

 

[Lalilo]

Ignorance was my biggest downfall, and people played on that ignorance including my EX. It wasn't untill I gave myself to God and God should me what the world was about and were and why I went wrong in the past. The past didn't kill me it only made me stronger. Life's amazing once you forgive and move on.