God showing you your soulmate? or not?

[fromtheriver]

Ok, simple question: Do you believe its wrong to date? Do you believe when the right person comes to you you'll automatically know thats the right person for you?


Because I have been dating this boy for two months, and he's scared if God is telling us we are not meant to be. He said he's happy with me but he's so anxious over the things he's doing it's simply led to this. He has been anxious about wanting an answer from God and now it's overwhelming me because now I don't know what God does to tell you that's the one, and if there's even a point to be dating this boy. I'm falling for him, which is wonderful but at the same time painful, because I don't know what to think of it.
I decided to ask the woman who saved me, and she told me God wants us to be together because we both want what God wants, want to follow his word, and have no intentions but to love the way God wants us to love each other. And if he insist to keep praying and I keep getting anxious, to let him go because as a promise of God he will bring him back. And somehow, that promise has been keeping me strong but I don't know what else to do or think beside pray to god and read his word.

I have to admit, most people would agree it's stupid to stress about if God is showing you your soulmate or if blinding yourself.

But I simply don't know how to think about it. I do feel like God sent me him into my life and this relationship was meant to happen, but within our own time (since everything was going well) to find out if God sent us to be together for eternity.


I don't know if I should add more, but if there's more details anybody needs to know, ask away. I simply need a Christian's point of view, a married one would be nice, and possibly anybody who guides people into the word of God.

[goth4god]

I dont think it is wrong to date. as far as I know God never said not to date. I mean as long as you stay pure dating is fine. to me dating is just getting to know a person better.
and you are still kinda young, you shouldnt worry about this stuff until you are older and ready to marry. and who knows, your feelings might change by then, but if they dont and you are meant to be with the guy then God will bring you two together.
I think that you are doing fine, and just pray about it. and since you and him are in a relationship together maybe you two should take a good chuck of time and really pray about it together. maybe even fast.
just trust that God will show you what is right and in His plans! =]

[Jaque]

That's really a good point, and once something happened to me: I was sure this guy was made for me, and I was sure due to some "signs" that were supposed to come from God. And then, nothing... this guy disappeared... my heart left broken...
I love the story when Abraham's servant was sent to look for a wife for Isaac, and how the things happened so perfectly. I mean, the things happened!
I don't know if I am clear (as my poor English doesn't help me express myself so clearly), but I think that when we ask God to lead us to the right person this will happen, and we can't be so stuck on "signs" which may come from our heart and then fool us. When God leads someone to someone, we have not just signs, but also we have these signs come true… Abraham’s servant prayed and the signs showed that Rebecca was the one, but the signs also came true. Rebecca accepted the offering and Isaac loved her.
The experience I had helped me see beyond the signs… it helped me wait for concrete things… if I obey God’s commandments, if I am faithful to Him, He will give me what I have asked for… I just have to rely on Him.

[missballantyne]

haha hmm Im not married, but I am a Christian that has dated Christians and non-Christians. and can I tell you.. I had to laugh. this is so cute having people worry about this! Actually, quite refreshing! You won't believe how many "You need to grow up"/"I'm gunna expect [sexual] things if we date.."/"youre a VIRGINN!!!???" comments I've gotten - I just can't stand men in general lately, sorry, a little bitter at the moment... lol I think any married person would agree with me when I say if God is really putting it on your heart to the point where you can't stop thinking about it that he's NOT the one for you or that you guys need to stop seeing each other, then tell him you need to back off for a bit to hear God a little clearer and know what and why he's tellin you this. If that's not the case, darlin, life is too short to actually worry about this! When he goes off on his tangent about being confused - you give him a chill pill and say youre goin out with the girls n get him to spend the night praying n seeing if God tells him anything! The fact that you both are God-fearing and putting him first?! It's amazing. just keep doin what youre doin and enjoy the life God's given you. And enjoy these first feelings of being in love - theyre priceless.

[fromtheriver]

That's really a good point, and once something happened to me: I was sure this guy was made for me, and I was sure due to some "signs" that were supposed to come from God. And then, nothing... this guy disappeared... my heart left broken...
I love the story when Abraham's servant was sent to look for a wife for Isaac, and how the things happened so perfectly. I mean, the things happened!
I don't know if I am clear (as my poor English doesn't help me express myself so clearly), but I think that when we ask God to lead us to the right person this will happen, and we can't be so stuck on "signs" which may come from our heart and then fool us. When God leads someone to someone, we have not just signs, but also we have these signs come true… Abraham’s servant prayed and the signs showed that Rebecca was the one, but the signs also came true. Rebecca accepted the offering and Isaac loved her.
The experience I had helped me see beyond the signs… it helped me wait for concrete things… if I obey God’s commandments, if I am faithful to Him, He will give me what I have asked for… I just have to rely on Him.

I get what you're saying...
it's so confusing.

The thing is, he's been my best friend:
I was lost, and he tried so hard to get me into God. Slowly he showed me God is there, showing me Esclessiastes about how sometimes you have to do things you love which made me calm down so much. I feel like it isn't Ironic how right after I'm saved we both got even closer and then eventually we became a couple whom wanted the same thing.

And even before, there are so many things to explain:
Before I actually got saved three months ago, I went through a lot of confusion with God.


A year ago, I was feeling real miserable because I was lonely due to the alienation my friends had led me due to some mistakes and envy chains and I though "I'd like to get closer to God" so I made a journal that where dedicated them to God. So I told him how I've been feeling, to forgive me for my sins, told him about my day, and also asked him two very important things that meant to me. I asked him "forgive me for my sins God. Also, let those who have betrayed me forgive me, to let go of the past, and to accept me the way I am. Also, bring me someone. That one person who will understand me. Someone who can accept me for the way I am, someone who can love me for the way I am, be my best friend. Anybody who will be there for me". And that was it. The next day, my old friends called and apologized to me and wanted to hang out again. It felt great, and truly wonderful. Then, a month later I met a boy named Matthew. He was gay, but we became best friends, and I thought God sent him to me until he brought me down: he got me into Wiccan witchcraft and made me believe God didn't exist. I then got him out of my life 5 months later, and I was really lost and depressed. For the rest of the months, one of my friends (andres) then started to talk to me. I had gotten stuck in a class for him so we started talking and eventually we got close. He started to tell me more about God, how he really is real. He would show me esclessiastes and made me feel that God is real because the bible is here, and miracles happen. I started to think to devote my life to God again, and then within February of this month, I got saved by a Woman named Norma.

Afterwords, for a month we simply were falling for each other and then became a couple.
I kept having dreams, and didn't know what they meant. But then the woman who saved me told me that the last prayer from my Journal was still kept as a promise from God...and to never feel hopeless to God's time, to be patient. That God promised me someone, and if its so to let go of Andres if he insist more time to let him go because he would bring him back.


So you see, it's so hard to deny so many things.
Which I loved what you said, never get confused from things that come from your own heart, because I'm so young. It's so easy to let go of people for me, because I have so much hope. But this, is such a confusing rollercoaster.

Where when I'm at the top my hopes are up, my faith is on, and I love my life. But when I get so worried about a lot I doubt so much...


But God works in such mysterious ways, since his Schedule is long for us.

[chrisbk]

I'm new here so I'm not real sure how all this works.So,here goes.I have been married to the wrong person and I am divorced now.I wasn't saved when I was married,I don't think.I've aways believed in God and known Jesus died for us all.Anyway.I have been saved for about 1 and a half years now and the man I am in love with brought me into the church I go to.We are still just friends,but any time I start to think I might be wrong,I get on my knees and I pray,I pray and I have aways gotten a word or when I asked for a sign I got it.A week ago last Sunday,I prayed for a sign and he came and sat by me,he hadn't done that in months.So,all I can say is,when you get discouraged,pray,pray like you never have before.God knows your heart,He knows your thoughts,He wants only the best for you.He loves you like no other will ever love you.He knows the worst there is about you,and still believes in you and will always take you back,no matter what.I hope I helped.You are so young,there is plenty of time.Just tell him you two need to relax and enjoy the time you both have to be together.If God has plans for the two of you,then it will happen in His time,not ours and getting antsy about it might ruin everything.Just take time to really get to know each other and be friends,I learned that the hard way,whoever your mate will be,make sure you are friends before you get in to deep,if you can't be yourself around him then it isn't right.

[jaylynn83]

Ive always had the problem with the word soulmate...... i often wonder...... does god have someone for everybody.. or is it just that you happen to get along better with one person than you do another... i dunno, but i do know that you and him have only been together for two months..... so just reeelaaxx... thats alot of pressure to know if you and him are supposed to be together after dating such a short time. i also wouldnt go on anyone elses advice (like the lady saying that you should marry him) because your gonna be with this man for life if you do so decide to marry him, so you need to know that you KNOW he is the one you want to be with and he is the one god is saying be with before you do anything

[Narn]

Personally I always have held to the belief that your spouse will bring you closer to God be there to pick you up or support you through life you become a team

[butterflylady]

i thought i had a soulmate..but.he turned out to be a traitor like everyone else! he took everything from me. he lied! he said he loved me! what a joke that was! goodbye, traitor!

[niceguyJ]

This thread has something in common with Lazarus...

Congrats to the OP, who is now happily married and expecting a child apparently.

[Ugly]

i thought i had a soulmate..but.he turned out to be a traitor like everyone else! he took everything from me. he lied! he said he loved me! what a joke that was! goodbye, traitor!

That's the problem with believing in a pagan philosophy with no biblical basis. We have unrealistic expectations on God and others.

Not sure what has happened, but you seem to have a lot of bitterness that goes beyond one broken relationship. You may need to seek some counseling to help get past whatever you're dealing with.

[Trax]

Ive always had the problem with the word soulmate...... i often wonder...... does god have someone for everybody..

In all honesty, there is no such thing as a soul mate. ALL marriages take work. As far as God having
someone picked out for you, well, there are about 7 billion people on the planet. How are the
two going to find one another? God will honor the marriage of two people, who basiclly can't
stand one another. I think there are a lot of people, in the world, that meet the criteria, of what
God has for an individual. But people aren't even considering God's criteria, when they get married.
It boils down to, "how can this other person help me." Well, the other person is probably
thinking the same thing. So, when both parties are sitting around, waiting on the other person to
start making "my life better", problems soon arise. Marriage is a lifetime commitment of servitude,
by both parties. When the man and woman, enter marriage with an honest commitment
of serving one another, problems still arise, but the two will be able to work through them
a lot easier, than two who entered, looking to be served only.

As for me, I have never been married, which probably makes me an expert.....cause I wasn't
dumb enough to get married in the first place.

[Ugly]

In all honesty, there is no such thing as a soul mate. ALL marriages take work. As far as God having
someone picked out for you, well, there are about 7 billion people on the planet. How are the
two going to find one another? God will honor the marriage of two people, who basiclly can't
stand one another. I think there are a lot of people, in the world, that meet the criteria, of what
God has for an individual. But people aren't even considering God's criteria, when they get married.
It boils down to, "how can this other person help me." Well, the other person is probably
thinking the same thing. So, when both parties are sitting around, waiting on the other person to
start making "my life better", problems soon arise. Marriage is a lifetime commitment of servitude,
by both parties. When the man and woman, enter marriage with an honest commitment
of serving one another, problems still arise, but the two will be able to work through them
a lot easier, than two who entered, looking to be served only.

As for me, I have never been married, which probably makes me an expert.....cause I wasn't
dumb enough to get married in the first place.

Janylynns been banned since 2009. Which is also how old this thread is. 0.0

[Trax]

Janylynns been banned since 2009. Which is also how old this thread is. 0.0

If I had a nickel, each time the same question was asked, in a Christian forum, over the past 25 years,
I would have an extremely lot of nickels. Now, with that being said, I don't reply directly to a single
individual, but to that person and the world. If just 1% of the world's population had the very same
questions I have, that would be around 70 million people. I don't have enough space for that many
nickels.

[Ugly]

If I had a nickel, each time the same question was asked, in a Christian forum, over the past 25 years,
I would have an extremely lot of nickels. Now, with that being said, I don't reply directly to a single
individual, but to that person and the world. If just 1% of the world's population had the very same
questions I have, that would be around 70 million people. I don't have enough space for that many
nickels.

Well, you quoted one person, so that's who i'm going to figure you're talking to.

[Trax]

Well, you quoted one person, so that's who i'm going to figure you're talking to.

People forget sometimes and the info still needs to be posted.
Rock and Roll?

Ugly, just have faith that wisdom gets to the person needing it.

[keepthefaith78]

I'm new here so I'm not real sure how all this works.So,here goes.I have been married to the wrong person and I am divorced now.I wasn't saved when I was married,I don't think.I've aways believed in God and known Jesus died for us all.Anyway.I have been saved for about 1 and a half years now and the man I am in love with brought me into the church I go to.We are still just friends,but any time I start to think I might be wrong,I get on my knees and I pray,I pray and I have aways gotten a word or when I asked for a sign I got it.A week ago last Sunday,I prayed for a sign and he came and sat by me,he hadn't done that in months.So,all I can say is,when you get discouraged,pray,pray like you never have before.God knows your heart,He knows your thoughts,He wants only the best for you.He loves you like no other will ever love you.He knows the worst there is about you,and still believes in you and will always take you back,no matter what.I hope I helped.You are so young,there is plenty of time.Just tell him you two need to relax and enjoy the time you both have to be together.If God has plans for the two of you,then it will happen in His time,not ours and getting antsy about it might ruin everything.Just take time to really get to know each other and be friends,I learned that the hard way,whoever your mate will be,make sure you are friends before you get in to deep,if you can't be yourself around him then it isn't right.

I'm new and this is the first time I'm posting....I have a godly man in my life that I can't seem to get out of my head. I've tried to pray thoughts and feelings away but my feelings for him only get stronger. We are both shy but he has invited me to a couple of things and he only brings me closer to God. We have never spent any time alone and don't know if I should ask him or keep waiting for him to. When do I know for sure its God's will and not my own? I'm not in a hurry to get remarried but it is my desire. I am grateful to have him in my life as a friend and won't be disappointed if didn't feel the same way. God's will be done! God bless

[Snackersmom]

Hi, Keepthefaith, welcome to the site!

If you want to start a new discussion about a topic, you can click the "new thread" button in the top left corner of the screen.

In answer to your post, it seems like things are heading in an acceptable direction, so I wouldn't rush it or worry about it . It sounds like you are special to each other, and the fact that he's helped you grow in your relationship with The Lord is awesome! Commit the whole thing to God, ask for His direction, and keep a spiritual ear attuned for His will, I imagine that He'll tell you what you need to know, when you need to know it .

There's a few other threads currently going about re-marriage after divorce, you can read those and prayerfully draw your own conclusions. All His best for you, and I'm glad you found this site! -Nichole