Single Again.... Advice?

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Arj7002

Guest
#1
#1
Well to catch everyone up, I just got out of a 2 year relationship about a month ago. I was truly in love with this girl. Our relationship was very good and for the most part without sin, but we all make mistakes. I really miss being with her but am over us, but I still have very strong feelings for her. We have both made it clear that we are going to be just friends. Should I let her go? If not what can I do to show her I still care for her.

We had a very close and good relationship. While in college I signed a lease on an apartment so in order to pay rent I had to work 40+ hours a week and didn't get to see or talk to her much. This is when we broke up. I'm 20 and she is 17, we were highschool sweethearts. I feel sometimes that I can never get over losing her, and other times I just want to move on. Any advice?
 
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Rigo

Guest
#2
#2
It’s not wise to answer you when I know so little about the situation, but you seem to be in need, so I will try to give you some advice. This is a Christian site so I guess you want Christian advice, and not the kind of relationship advice you can get from the world.
It seems that your love for this girl is greater than your love for God.
Why do I say that? Because your feelings for her seem to be your major concern and not the will of God.
Don’t brush off your mistakes/sins as if they didn’t matter, if you have been intimate with this girl you can’t just say that everyone makes “mistakes” and move on. I am not asking you to tell me, that’s between you and God.
If you have been intimate with her, you need to do the right thing before God, put all your efforts to get back with her and marry her. It’s a difficult situation you have put yourself into, but if you are humble and obedient God will straighten the path.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#3
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#3
Rigo said:
It’s not wise to answer you when I know so little about the situation, but you seem to be in need, so I will try to give you some advice. This is a Christian site so I guess you want Christian advice, and not the kind of relationship advice you can get from the world.
It seems that your love for this girl is greater than your love for God.
Why do I say that? Because your feelings for her seem to be your major concern and not the will of God.
Don’t brush off your mistakes/sins as if they didn’t matter, if you have been intimate with this girl you can’t just say that everyone makes “mistakes” and move on. I am not asking you to tell me, that’s between you and God.
If you have been intimate with her, you need to do the right thing before God, put all your efforts to get back with her and marry her. It’s a difficult situation you have put yourself into, but if you are humble and obedient God will straighten the path.
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Yeah sooooo i wouldnt follow this guys advice its rediculas.. actually made me laugh, marriage is a very very serious thing. and not to be entered into lightly, even if you and this girl did have sex.... NOT a reason to get married... no where in the bible does it say anything about marrying someone if you have slept with them. So not sure where hes gettin this do the right thing in the sight of god by marrying her aaaaanyways, i think you should just let the situation be.. if God meant for the two of you to be together it will happen... The two of you are just friends right now... i wouldnt go to extordinary lengths if i was you to show her how much you care, unless you are trying to get her back.. if not it will only confusse her..
 
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Rigo

Guest
#4
#4
jaylynn83 said:
Yeah sooooo i wouldnt follow this guys advice its rediculas.. actually made me laugh, marriage is a very very serious thing. and not to be entered into lightly, even if you and this girl did have sex.... NOT a reason to get married... no where in the bible does it say anything about marrying someone if you have slept with them. So not sure where hes gettin this do the right thing in the sight of god by marrying her aaaaanyways, i think you should just let the situation be.. if God meant for the two of you to be together it will happen... The two of you are just friends right now... i wouldnt go to extordinary lengths if i was you to show her how much you care, unless you are trying to get her back.. if not it will only confusse her..
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The apostle Paul when writing about the law of God said this: “For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it killed me. Therefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy and just and good.” (Romans 7:11-12 NKJ) The law of God is just if you had any doubts about it. In this law it is written: “And if a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife.”(Exodus 22:16 NKJ)
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#5
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#5
Rigo said:
The apostle Paul when writing about the law of God said this: “For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it killed me. Therefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy and just and good.” (Romans 7:11-12 NKJ) The law of God is just if you had any doubts about it. In this law it is written: “And if a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife.”(Exodus 22:16 NKJ)
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Old testament, we are no longer under that law....
 
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Rigo

Guest
#6
#6
jaylynn83 said:
Old testament, we are no longer under that law....
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Is your mind in a neutral zone where sin and righteous deeds don’t exist?
If you reject the writings of the Old Testament, how do you know for what cause Christ died on the cross? You probably know that Jesus was wounded for our transgressions. Our transgressions against the law of God, because sin is lawlessness (1 John 3:4), but Christ didn’t die on the cross and was raised from the dead so we could continue to live in sin/lawlessness. If we walk by the Holy Spirit we will do righteous deeds, this means that we will fulfill the law, even when we are not under the law but in the grace of God (Romans 8:3-4 NKJ) “For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” We can learn from the law what righteous deeds are, what God is pleased with and what he is not pleased with, if we do this we will be better prepared to do the will of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17 NKJ) “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#7
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
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#7
If your going to take that literal that if a man intices a virgin and must marry her. then we need to make alters and sacrifice lambs and slaughter sheep to give an offering to god.......
 
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maggiemodluvshim

Guest
#8
#8
I am a bit older... but I want to offer some advice. I believe that when the Bible talks about marriage, that there is a process that takes place for the man and the woman before marriage to prepare them for the next step. Your working to maintain your day to day living is a necessity... you need your lights, food.. gas to get back and forth to work. Also, the necessity to make sure that your rent is paid is a must. When I was seventeen my mindset was not where it is today. I.e... if you love this girl, part of displaying your love was to one 1) prove that you can be a provider.. by first learning how to provide and be responsible for yourself. While your name is not "Visa" and you couldn't be everywhere she wanted/needed you to be.. perhaps this is something that needed to be taught to her as a young woman. As a young man ... at least from what my guy friends tell me,, most guys who are "holding down jobs" and paying their bills and have significant others want the support of their woman. when they are dealing with the stresses of day to day hustle and bustle... to have to come home and deal with "why can't we spend more time together" when you have put in a 60 hour week is not something that helps any relationship. While I know most folks would probably "boo me" ... I do believe that age, emotional maturity has a lot to do with the picture and both parties in volved need to be able to understand that when life happens in a relationship both parties have to create time and space and have understanding that they need to handle their individual responsibilities as well as come together to make the relationship work. Check out proverbs 31.. she also had a job and was taking care of her business too. those are just my thoughts.
 
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Rigo

Guest
#9
#9
jaylynn83 said:
If your going to take that literal that if a man intices a virgin and must marry her. then we need to make alters and sacrifice lambs and slaughter sheep to give an offering to god.......
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We are a new creation in Christ and the things you write about belong to the law given to the old man (2Corinthians 5:17), but righteousness is a part of the new creation (Romans 14:17). The will of God is not fornication.
 
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ariannaaa

Guest
#10
#10
Arj, I'm sorry about your hurt :( I hope that things get easier for you. Personally, I agree with Rodrigo. No we are not under ALL of Old Testament law, but it is still applicable to us today. But he was right in the your primary concern should be God's will for your life above all. I understand that emotionally your situation can be painful, but you have to try to remember that God and God alone is enough for you. And if it is His will that you be with this girl then thats great and I hope that everything works out for you two. But if that is not His will, you need to be prepared for that and try to keep your priorities in line. Best of luck :)
 
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