Purity in a Relationship

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C

cheekysqueeky

Guest
#21
Amazing! By this you really put God first in your relationship! this is just beautiful.
 
H

Honey12

Guest
#22
I don't see how kissing makes a relationship unpure (I don't think that's w word. Oh well. Lol)...
But I do think your decision is admirable. :)
 

Crypto

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2009
662
7
18
38
#23
That's a great standard to have and I think it's the best one to have. Kudos to you.
 
T

TDWP22

Guest
#24
i cant do that lol
 
J

jazzyjay

Guest
#25
I think if it works for you great it would'nt work for me I would wonder if the lack of kissing was masking other issues.
 
J

jaydawg888

Guest
#26
The more I mention this, the more it feels like bragging... but hey! It's something I'm proud of so I guess I'll keep mentioning it when the subject comes up. (Until it gets old and people start yelling, haha) :D

Anyways! I just wanted to say how I'm in the same boat as you. I'm currently in a courtship (yeah.. I said courtship) with a wonderful girl I met and we are doing things "different" than what mainstream "anything" is telling the world. We aren't going to kiss until marriage, just like you, but we are actually going steps further and beyond that. (For a lot of personal reasons, which I can share if you ask nicely.) Now forgive me a little, cause I'm going to copy-paste something I wrote before. ;)

What her and I are in is what we call a "no-touch relationship". It was radical and different than what people normally expect, but it was something that tugged on my heart and apparently was a big part of this girl's heart as well. We entered into a courtship around 3 weeks ago after a long period of thought and prayer as to whether or not we even wanted to be in a relationship with each other, and because of who we are, the struggles we have, and the paths that God has set before us that we desperately want to follow , we've decided on rules and limitations to how we approach this relationship and the most important one, which relates directly to this subject is the fact that we have something that we call a "no-touch relationship". By that I mean exactly what it sounds like, we don't in any way have physical contact with each other. No holding hands, no innocent hugs, and definitely no kissing. It's a means of protection for not only our hearts, but our minds. The temptation to go further would be too great at this time. What would keep us from saying "Oh... well we're holding hands.. what's wrong with a hug?" and then it moves on to "Well.. we're hugging.. i mean, a kiss isn't so bad, is it?". It's a slippery slope, and not one that either of us wants to intentionally place ourselves on.

It's not easy.. no.. (I mean, sometimes it is when I remember the benefits) but it's something God placed on me when I met her (and after a rather disappointing and depressing relationship I had been in previously). So, from my standpoint, I have not one negative thing to say about not kissing before marriage.. simply because I haven't found one negative notion that isn't fundamentally wrong when it comes to me. ;)

But hey, it's not for everyone. I'm definitely not saying that. But it is something that I personally am proud of.
 
R

Ramon

Guest
#27
I think that is a very good thing Cabbage. It helps to prevent some other temptations that might come. And as one said that putting God first is just fine.

May Jesus bless you.
 
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#28
Yeah, I bless all for not only doing this but for sharing with others that you are doing this. I believe that anyone promoting purity in our modern day world which tries to cast sin as the norm deserves our praises. Jesus be with you.
 
C

Cabbage

Guest
#29
Well, jaydawg we do not hold hands or hug or anything like that, so I guess in a way, we have a no contact thing going, but I think we will eventually hold hands. We have been dating for a year....Good Luck to you!
 
B

buckeyegirl700

Guest
#30
I have never had a romantic relationship with a Christian man. I have heard Christian men say before that they would not kiss a woman passionately before marriage. It's common since that sex or any forms of sex are not honored by God when a couple is not married but I have wondered about kissing before marriage. How do you know if there anything more than a friend if you don't kiss? Or should kissing wait till marriage because it can lead to sin? I don't know, it would probably be a decision every couple would have to decide themselves.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#31
Cabbage if you don't touch him, not counting kissing, or hugging. How is he your Boyfriend?


If there is nothing special between you, how is he or even your relationship special?

My thought is this, if there is nothing that is unique in your relationship with your BF that in not unique to the world, then he may as well be another face in the crowd. How is the attention that he gives you different from the attention that your brother gives you?
 
A

allforfun

Guest
#32
I don't want to sound crass, and maybe it will make me sound like cranky old Grandma...but I find it odd and peculiar to read relationship advice from very young people. Not saying that young people are any less valuable, but it is a little too soon to wax poetically and pretend to have all the answers pertaining to relationships.

Feel free to land blast me, it doesn't bother me. But the 35 year old me is laughing at the 20 year old me who thought she had it all figured out.
 
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#33
Oh good, its nice to see order in the universe is being re-established. I was just thinking it was kinda weird that all of us perpetually negative people were being crowded out by a strange new batch of happy positive types.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#34
What is the purpose of having a relationship if its just a Facebook status and lip service?

I might as well create an imaginary Girlfriend that I plan on marrying like 3 years from now but until then, we are just "on the level."
 
L

lonewolf

Guest
#35
What if you die before you get married?
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
113
#36
Now, I know this post will seem definitely unusual and you will probably disagree. You don't have to follow any of this, but my boyfriend and I have made a vow to God and to each other that we would not kiss before marriage. This is just something special we have that not many others do. Please post your comments back. We want to show the teenagers how to have a true, pure relationship.
Are you and your bf physically attracted to each other or are you just very compatible?
 
S

skater_20

Guest
#37
I find that amazing that both of you have made that commitment. I have always planned on saving my first kiss until my wedding day as well. I have always viewed that in dating is when you get to know each other's heart and mind, and it's only in marriage where you get to know each other's body. In 1 Corinthians 7:4 it says, "The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife." While I think that's implied that that 'transfer of authority' occurs when married, I can't see why it can't apply to before you're married. While our bodies are not our own, but God's, the authority we do have over our bodies we give to our spouses. I'm sure my wife doesn't want me kissing other women other than her, likewise I don't want my wife (if it's in God's plan for me to marry) kissing other men other than me.
 
J

jazzyjay

Guest
#38
I don't see how you can be a couple and have no physical contact whatsoever and then expect to marry and everything fall into place.
 
A

allforfun

Guest
#39
Second and third picture down.

This couple took the no touching rule so far that the father put the engagement ring on her finger when he proposed, because they didn't want to become impure. Excuse, I had to extract my eyes from the back of my head.

I understand that couples don't want to go down the slippery slope of temptation. But if not touching is the solution, you have bigger problems that what that really suggests. You are throwing the baby out with the bathwater so to speak.
 
C

Cabbage

Guest
#40
Okay, now I don't want yall too freaked out. We can hold hands, we just do not make it a continuous thing. It is not that we will not hold hands or hug before marriage. We have only been dating a year. He puts hisarm around me and stuff like that. We just want to get to know each other's heart and mind before we go any farther. The only thing we have made clear is that our first kiss will be when we are married.