Is the phrase "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" true?

[Boanerges]

I think that phrase can be true, because sometimes in the way you can feel lonely. But maybe my real question must be "Better to be loved and lost than never to be loved at all" is true?

[Pie]

I think this can go either way and depends heavily on the past 'loves.' If you fell in love with someone who treated you horribly, then it just leaves you angry, untrusting, and somewhat jaded which can leak into future relationships. Some claim this made them a stronger person, so it just depends.(But I think it weakened them in certain areas until God heals them). In this case, I'd think it would have been better to never have loved.

However, if you did fall in love with a decent person and lost them, then I'd say the experience would make you stronger and perhaps was a healthy experience even though it's painful. You get to experience the selflessness of true love. =] And I think that's better than never ever knowing what it was like to love someone.

[zeroturbulence]

No, I believe that old saying should have been written the other way around: "Tis better to have never loved at all then to have loved and lost." Because people who have experienced a wonderful, loving relationship will always feel a great big hole in their hearts that will be virtually impossible to fill because love like that only comes once or twice in a lifetime, and those who never loved don't know what they are missing.

Its sort of like if someone was rich and enjoyed all of the splendors and pleasures of an extravagant lifestyle they would be worse off if they lost everything than someone who has never been rich.

[Maddog]

I suppose it can be useful life experience. It would help one to better relate to others also in that situation, but if we're just talking about personal benefit and emotional wellbeing, then I tend to agree with Zero. I believe the adage 'you don't miss what you never had' remains true.

[princessbella]

[quote=Pie;474431]I think this can go either way and depends heavily on the past 'loves.' If you fell in love with someone who treated you horribly, then it just leaves you angry, untrusting, and somewhat jaded which can leak into future relationships. Some claim this made them a stronger person, so it just depends.(But I think it weakened them in certain areas until God heals them). In this case, I'd think it would have been better to never have loved.

i agree deffinitly with the above however ive not given up on finding true love just much more cautious at giving my heart.

[Suzie2family]

I've always taken this phrase to mean it would be a tragedy for a person to go through their whole life never having loved a single person, so in that sense it's better to have experienced the emotions of loving another human being at least once in a lifetime (however painful it might have ended up being...) than to have never even had the chance to feel the good/bad/ugly. Even a painful experience would be better than never feeling love at all. At least you would have known what "to love" meant.

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Lord Alfred Tennyson was the man who wrote that. His life for the majority was really sad, most of his poems reflect that.

I would say from his point of view yes, it is better to have loved and lost.

From mine. No

I would rather know in life that I tried something and failed than never tried at all. Love is included in that.

[Jullianna]

Just wondering if we ever really lose by loving. There are some amazing people in these threads. Seems like maybe the folks who hurt them were the real losers...

[djness]

Originally Posted by zeroturbulence

No, I believe that old saying should have been written the other way around: "Tis better to have never loved at all then to have loved and lost." Because people who have experienced a wonderful, loving relationship will always feel a great big hole in their hearts that will be virtually impossible to fill because love like that only comes once or twice in a lifetime, and those who never loved don't know what they are missing.

Its sort of like if someone was rich and enjoyed all of the splendors and pleasures of an extravagant lifestyle they would be worse off if they lost everything than someone who has never been rich.

Unfortunately due to years of painfully loving. I completely agree with this..
also why the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind was one of my favorite movies

[Sooner28]

This question seems to be a cost/benefit calculation. Therefore the best way to approach it would be by looking at whether the benefits of loving and losing that love are better than never loving at all. Something funny about this question is that if you never loved at all, you can't really say it's better! The only people who are equipped to give an answer are the ones who have loved and lost and then they can compare what life would have been like if they had never loved at all(before they loved).

I don't know if I have ever loved. I've felt deep romantic emotions towards a female but I don't know if it was love or not because I'm not really sure what romantic love is. However, I do know the pain was very real when it ended. And right now at this point in my life I would say it is a toss up between whether it was better to go through it and lose than never go through it at all. The pain never really completely goes away.

[Grandpa]

From a fleshly point of view, a resounding NO. The flesh wants to avoid pain and conflict at all costs. But from a spiritual perspective the answer must be yes. The spirit is always willing to go through a little temporary pain (and by little I mean MAJOR, heaping) in order to find truth, and peace, and joy.

This is a great question. I would have rathered to have not gone through it, but not my will be done, but the Fathers will be done.

[damombomb]

i believe yes to love someone uncondititionally is the most awsome thing the world unfortunatly i lost this person
but i would do it again. had i not taken the chance i would not have known this kind of love.

[Suzie2family]

I guess there are certain experiences I wish I could erase from my memory banks or if I could rewind time, maybe never have experienced in the first place, but I think perhaps I am a different person today than I was because of having loved. Satan, being the Accuser, throws these memories in my face and tempts me from time to time to wallow in bitterness, sorrow, regret, shame and self-pity. The only solution is for me to place even my memories on the Altar of God's Forgiveness and let them burn. I believe these are some of the prayers that create an incense that is pleasing to the Lord.

[Jullianna]

Originally Posted by Suzie2family

I guess there are certain experiences I wish I could erase from my memory banks or if I could rewind time, maybe never have experienced in the first place, but I think perhaps I am a different person today than I was because of having loved. Satan, being the Accuser, throws these memories in my face and tempts me from time to time to wallow in bitterness, sorrow, regret, shame and self-pity. The only solution is for me to place even my memories on the Altar of God's Forgiveness and let them burn. I believe these are some of the prayers that create an incense that is pleasing to the Lord.

I really like this