Why is it so hard for me to ask a girl I like on a date? How can I UNnerve this fear?

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GreenNnice

Guest
#1
A question for us all and, I'm sure some of you cabballeros can help out your fellow amigo dudes that are not so dashing with the seniorita young ladies as you. :)
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#2
Ah yes, man's age old fear of rejection in wanting to ask a woman out :)

Well, Ed my best advice to you is to play it nonchalant. Just ask her like its something that just popped into your head. Don't approach her like you are about to say something big. Then if she says she can't or whatever, you can just be like "oh ok, I just thought I'd ask". Try asking in the middle of a conversation instead of making it the first thing out of your mouth. Then she will be more open to your question. Also, a little prayer before you ask her can't hurt. ;)

Oh and smile! Women love a man who smiles :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#3
Ah yes, man's age old fear of rejection in wanting to ask a woman out :)

Well, Ed my best advice to you is to play it nonchalant. Just ask her like its something that just popped into your head. Don't approach her like you are about to say something big. Then if she says she can't or whatever, you can just be like "oh ok, I just thought I'd ask". Try asking in the middle of a conversation instead of making it the first thing out of your mouth. Then she will be more open to your question. Also, a little prayer before you ask her can't hurt. ;)

Oh and smile! Women love a man who smiles :)
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Zere, thanks, great advice for us all, especially the prayer part. :)
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Dear God , make her say 'YES.'

Amen .
:D

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Noté: I have much thought on this subject and I've surely lost nerve a time , or, two, or, 20...400 :D but, I will tell all of my feelings on this subject , later, when I am all boozed up and don't give a care WHAT I say. Ok, jus-sst kidding. Booze, gentleman, is a TOOL of
the Devil, IF used to ask out a girl, I think. The Lord leads, and, He can use anything, even booze, but BE SURE, gente, that is HOW he wants you to get up.the nerve to ask a girl out. 99.9% of the time, God will say TRUST in Him, NOT in other things . God bless you, guys, and, yeah, you take, too :)

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And ladies?

Y, of course, you're ALL welcome to add your grande thoughts on this subject. :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#4
God will say TRUST in Him 100% of the time, but, also, keep in mind the Lord leads each of our lives individually , and, on VERY, VERY RARE OCCASSIONS , He may use very ode means to reach you , even yeah, maybe BOOZE , but 99.9% of the time, God will NOT use booze as a means for you to socially get to know a girl, from the light-headed , care-free feeling that substance gives you.

Sorry, this is an edit if what meant to say above but c.c. only let's us edit 5 minutes and my green brains did not get done stringing out what needed said.

Also, edit : God bless you, guys, for Godly advice to be given and , yeah, you ladies can bless us too. K? :D. Ok, God, please bless ALL the ladies, too, they so all the time say such nice things to us :)
 
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Aug 2, 2009
24,580
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#5
You're welcome, Ed. And I really hope she says yes to you too! :)
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#6
One thing I have found that helps me quiet the last moment nerves is to think about what she is thinking, I have never been particlarly comfortable with being approached by a random stranger, bad experiences as a teenager etc....

So I imagine how tough some women find it having a man approach them when they are most likely alone and then facing the prospect of having to try and find a kind way to say no in the space of few brief moments, even more difficult if they don't see the discussion coming, which can be the case if the guy is shy and has not made clear he is interested.

I try my best to think about her possible akwardness and try to behave in a more relaxed way to help her feel relaxed and not pressured, for one thing it will make you seem more appealing because you aren't rambling on trying to order your thoughts and at the least it will make it easier for her to be kind in her rejection.......although hopefully that won't happen.

With women, I find empathy goes a long way......a lot further than artificial charm.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#7
One thing I have found that helps me quiet the last moment nerves is to think about what she is thinking, I have never been particlarly comfortable with being approached by a random stranger, bad experiences as a teenager etc....

So I imagine how tough some women find it having a man approach them when they are most likely alone and then facing the prospect of having to try and find a kind way to say no in the space of few brief moments, even more difficult if they don't see the discussion coming, which can be the case if the guy is shy and has not made clear he is interested.

I try my best to think about her possible akwardness and try to behave in a more relaxed way to help her feel relaxed and not pressured, for one thing it will make you seem more appealing because you aren't rambling on trying to order your thoughts and at the least it will make it easier for her to be kind in her rejection.......although hopefully that won't happen.

With women, I find empathy goes a long way......a lot further than artificial charm.
---- thx, zere, just kidding around with that kind of prayer, as you know, thou shalt not test the Lord thy God. Even the Devil (bringinging Jesus to top of high tower and saying to jump off ) knows that :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#8
Well said,Matthew , we just need to relax, don'do what we REALLY feel inside (great fright!) When we ask out that girl we like.


Yes, appeal with empathy, well said, matty .
 
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Bobbyking

Guest
#9
Hi

If the girl is very special to me, naturally I would feel a little anxious to ask her out. In reality, it is just our mind, making all the assumptions that we may be received less than favorably. In this case, I will treat her (in my mind) as any other girl in the community.

Perhaps there could be insecurity and inferiority inside us and it prevents us from seeing who we are in Christ. In that case, I would do a search in my life, try to deal with these as much as I can.

What I have written above happened to me when I was young. However, as I grow older and put efforts to grow in the Lord, I become more confident. When I went on my first date with the girl (who is now my wife of 18 years), I actually indirectly proposed to her (subtly). We didn't get married straight away, but two years later. It's not that I was arrogant or something, but I just want her to be my wife. :)

Hope the above helps. May God bless you!
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#10
Hi

If the girl is very special to me, naturally I would feel a little anxious to ask her out. In reality, it is just our mind, making all the assumptions that we may be received less than favorably. In this case, I will treat her (in my mind) as any other girl in the community.

Perhaps there could be insecurity and inferiority inside us and it prevents us from seeing who we are in Christ. In that case, I would do a search in my life, try to deal with these as much as I can.

What I have written above happened to me when I was young. However, as I grow older and put efforts to grow in the Lord, I become more confident. When I went on my first date with the girl (who is now my wife of 18 years), I actually indirectly proposed to her (subtly). We didn't get married straight away, but two years later. It's not that I was arrogant or something, but I just want her to be my wife. :)

Hope the above helps. May God bless you!
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Well said, BKing.

Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a sibling named BB (King) perchance :D

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I am not sure why it is so tough for we guys to ask you girls out. But, it is. It is , it is, it is ! :D
However, I agree with BKing, we grow in God more and loose our selves from insecurities and things dragging we guys down, like financial thinkings of poorness, and like not always doing perfectly Godly things on the internet, like thinking we don't deserve a girl cuz we can't keep.our house in order, yes, when we realize God is helping us along through our inadequate thinkings of self and guiltyness of self and just LATCH onto God , I think then the ASKING OUT OF A GIRL will go much smoother and, here is the important part.... it will go just as God planned. :). Because , for certain, IF, guys, you are a christian and struggling with financial bogged thinking or guilt in some way, THAT will greatly affect your confidence, as it should, because God jerez us SECUre in Him and His ways BEFORE He will bless us with a .....girl, and, in some cases, even getting to go on a date.

Remember, and this verse is scripture: The steps of a righteous man are ordered by God.

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So...get your life in order (and that may include your figurative 'house,' or, literal 'house' , for that matter, and, then get READY for overFLOWING cofidence and security feelings to start asking girls out until you feel les by God to not let one get away (in other words, you marry her) :)