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Thread: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

  1. #1
    Maaatthew
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    Default Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Good Morning from the UK,

    Well it's 04:23 in the early hours and once again I'm awake thinking and dwelling on thoughts. I apologise for sharing this pointless information and making you all read more than is required haha.

    So to the main point of my question...

    I've read in many books how Christian Women are constantly praying for their husbands or partners to be more Christian and to have a closer relationship to Christ Jesus and God The Father.

    In my own personal relationship, the roles are some what reversed. For I am the Christian man and the young woman whom I've gotten close to is a non Christian. That doesn't mean to say she isn't interested in my relationship with God, but she is more into the world at the present time.

    So my question is (after this epic introduction)...

    Should a man be patient and wait for God to give him a Christian Woman to love?
    or....

    Can a Christian man who loves a non Christian Woman (who in turn loves him back) end up having a relationship which could lead to the non Christian woman having her own personal relationship with God The Father and Christ Jesus?

    All replies are welcome.

    Thank you for reading and God bless x

  2. #2
    Senior Member LightningClap0002's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    If you aren't familiar with 2 Corinthians 6:21, it speaks quite plainly about this. It is more broad in it's intention than just romantic relationships, but it certainly does apply to them (possibly with a more profound affect).

    Quote Originally Posted by 2 Corinthians 6:21
    Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
    1 Corinthians also addresses the issue of a believer and a non-believer when it states

    12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

    15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
    The long and the short of it is that God can work miracles in the hearts and minds of men (and women). To enter into a relationship knowing from the beginning that it is not between two followers of truth can lead to huge chasms of both understanding and belief.

  3. #3
    AgeofKnowledge
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Run for your life.

  4. #4
    Maaatthew
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Thank you for your answers.

    And yes I am familiar with the text Clap. However, Thank you for reminding me because my human sinful learning disabled human nature wants the exact opposite to the love that God wants to give me.

    God bless and Thank you x

  5. #5
    kshine
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    If your willing to compramise and be called crazy yes it will because you will loose yourself trying to help that person, but the bible also say that a man can be won by the believing wife are vicersa it depends on the ppl involved their willingness to make the marriage work. But now days NO cause ppl r not staying still death due us part.

  6. #6
    shiner500
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    IMO I think there will be a constant clash between morals.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Snackersmom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Unless God has specifically instructed you to continue this relationship, then it is probably time to jump ship. The very fact that you are uneasy about it is confirmation that His Hand is not in it, or, at the very least, He is showing you something about what to do. Pray for His guidance on what to say. Be gentle but honest with the young lady. It is possible that she will come to Christ simply because she misses His presence in her life (through you). Sometimes we need to miss something before we realize how important it is. God Bless, and may He give you guidance.

  8. #8
    Senior Member GreenNnice's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Quote Originally Posted by Snackersmom View Post
    Unless God has specifically instructed you to continue this relationship, then it is probably time to jump ship. The very fact that you are uneasy about it is confirmation that His Hand is not in it, or, at the very least, He is showing you something about what to do. Pray for His guidance on what to say. Be gentle but honest with the young lady. It is possible that she will come to Christ simply because she misses His presence in her life (through you). Sometimes we need to miss something before we realize how important it is. God Bless, and may He give you guidance.
    ---
    Is the 'Him' you are talking about, the 'Big Boss.'


    ----
    Seriously, the Lord leads, and, IF, you are choosing your life after Him, maatty, then a life with a her unpursuant to having same life is going to tough to do . Follow God's cues, pray and see what happens with your (walking) steps after that . The rest of your life is a seriously long amount of time and you should want it done according to His will and who you have in your life will influence what you will do.

    God bless you for following the Big Boss in your life :-).
    Last edited by GreenNnice; September 25th, 2011 at 02:14 PM.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    In short, no.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Snackersmom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Quote Originally Posted by GreenNnice View Post
    ---
    Is the 'Him' you are talking about, the 'Big Boss.'
    You got it, Mr. Green . I also use "The Big Mr." and "Sir", and I mean them all with reverence, but I try not to come off as too flippant when I'm talking to people I don't know. The Lord leads, right?

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Do we want to settle for relationships just "working out" or do we want them to be blessed of God?
    If we don't want to settle for less, we need to do it His way.
    Last edited by Jullianna; September 25th, 2011 at 03:23 PM.
    Markum1972 likes this.

  12. #12
    BlueAngel
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    Smile Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Goodness people.... Doesn't anyone believe in conversion anymore?!?!
    It's simple really, my mom was converted.... My dad did it! :P
    Matthew can too.
    Anything is possible if it's Gods will.
    Go for it dude!

  13. #13
    Senior Member Snackersmom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueAngel View Post
    Goodness people.... Doesn't anyone believe in conversion anymore?!?!
    It's simple really, my mom was converted.... My dad did it! :P
    Matthew can too.
    Anything is possible if it's Gods will.
    Go for it dude!
    Good point, BlueAngel. I was actually trying to point that out in my post, but I shouldn't have assumed that Matthew had already tried and that she wasn't receptive. But if I DID assume correctly, then his staying with her may be enabling her to run from the Holy Spirit's invitations. If he thinks that The Big Boss wants the relationship to end, then his being obedient to that leading may also result in her accepting Jesus (some people need an extra push.....His ways are are perfect ). The bottom line is to seek God's will, and be obedient to it. It sounds like the relationship is no longer peaceful, so that tells me that something is going on spiritually. Perhaps gently leveling with the lady is all it will take to get her to face what God has perhaps been telling her, as well. You never know.......

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    My mother married a non-christian as well. He became a christian 2 years before he died. I saw her pain often. She cried many tears. Anyone who can do this and not waiver from your faith, my hat is off to you. I can't imagine what it would be like to spend so many years in a relationship with someone and not have them understand the most precious part of my life.

    My husband was a christian, so I was at peace when he passed. I can't imagine what it would have been like if he'd been a non-believer.

  15. #15
    Starcake
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Mathew,
    based on my personal experience as a believer and a fervent seeker of my life's soulmate,
    as stated by one of the other members, if you do not have exact guidance from God, and that
    for certain and approved, like really really undoubtly sure that it's God talking and instructing you
    what to do,
    no. Do not risk your heart being hurt or even worse sining in some way. Either in your head
    or with your body as well. No matter how reserved through God's grace you may be God doesn't
    want us to put ourselves through "self-caused" tests of faith and tolerance.
    It's really really extremely difficult to work out a relationship with an unbeliever. First of all
    God's word says to have nothing to do with unbelievers when it comes to terms of close relationships.
    I totaly understand that when you deeply like someone, you may have the best interest at heart but,
    that's not enough. You give your testimony and then if they wanna come to Christ good. But don't
    stay in a relationship like that. Tell you what I did this mistake hoping and praying 4 months and really
    believing that something would change but it did not. I ended up getting extremely hurt and I'm still in
    recovery mode.
    Be careful of words and promises. If someone really wants Christ he or she will get to Him. When it goes
    like well "I'd like to" "I agree" "I've decided" but there's no change and no fire in this ( in action ) forget about it. He even came to church with me 5 times but he didn't do it for himself but as a favor....
    If she wants to follow Christ, and if she loves you, she is going to love God too. She will follow no matter
    what you do. To be honest staying in such a kind of relationship ends up satisfying our need to have a partner rather than doing what is good for both of us and even what is good towards God.
    God would never drive us into "diffective" relationships which on top of everything else could prove harmful to our faith , holyness and relationship with God.
    I truly understand your need, your feelings, believe me, but the best thing to do is to ask God to cleanse your heart and help you see the truth about what's going on. Because when we fall in love we lose sight
    of the truth because of the feelings we have. And its really dangerous when falling in love with an unbeliever
    and there's no guidance from God about it. Most of the times it's just the projection of our need and not our
    obedience to God. Run to Him.
    One last thing uncertainty about this kind of matters is a really bad sign. It took me a lot of pain and stupid stuborness to udnerstand that God doesn't want us reaching out int he dark trying to make up shapes in order to know what it is. He will tell us, He will let us know He will give us guidance. Everything else is impatience, disobedience. It's just us wanting to have our way and our timing.
    At least that's what I came to realise through many pointless attepmts to build up a relationship where
    God wasn't the stonecorner...And brethern would tell me all this again and again but who was listening...Until I got myself into it for good and came out bruised all over. I just don't want you or anyone else being heartbroken and wounded in their relationship with God. When something is from God you will know it is. you won't wonder or try to find out for yourself.
    Hope this will help you someway. God bless.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Quote Originally Posted by jimmydiggs View Post
    In short, no.
    Good answer! I second it

  17. #17
    Tobby17
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    The point is not that *It wouldn't work*

    The point is *IT CAN'T WORK*

  18. #18
    Senior Member LightningClap0002's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tobby17 View Post
    The point is not that *It wouldn't work*

    The point is *IT CAN'T WORK*
    I'm curious as to what support you have for the idea that it can't work.

  19. #19
    Tobby17
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Quote Originally Posted by LightningClap0002 View Post
    I'm curious as to what support you have for the idea that it can't work.
    *For what relation has darkness to do with light?*

  20. #20
    Senior Member LightningClap0002's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would a relationship between a Christian man and a non Christian woman work out?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tobby17 View Post
    *For what relation has darkness to do with light?*
    But what is darkness except the absence of light? So, when light shines into the darkness, is it darkness any longer? In the presence of light, darkness must either flee or become light.

    This is definitely not a case of "can't" The Bible makes no statement about whether it can or can't work. It is likely that it will result in heartache, or sin, but there is nothing to say that it can't be fruitful and holy. The 1 Corinthians quote from my original post goes on to explain that it CAN in fact be very fruitful by leading another to salvation.

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