A broken relationship, need help.!!

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truefriend28

Junior Member
Oct 1, 2011
12
1
3
#1
Hello,

I am 26 single female from India. I have had a relationship with a guy from my office. We were very good friends since 2 years but 1 year back we realized that there is something special about eachother. So one day he proposed to me and I accepted. I love that guy a lot. I love all whatever he does. I had changed myself a lot for him. From my hairpin to my shoes I used wear everything of his choice. We had shared very beautiful and intimate relation with eachother. But before 4 months back there was a dramatic end of our relationship. He has started changing suddenly. I don't understand why he is doing all this. He never explained anything to me. And then we stopped talking to eachother for a month. Now before a week ago he left the company and on the last day I went to talk to him to say goodbye. But he asked me to meet once. We met and now again I have started hoping that things will be good again. He told me that he is afraid to get into this relationship again. But I want to give a second chance. Am I doing wrong? I am so confused. I cry almost everyday thinking about him. I want him back in my life but only when he is ready for it. I don't know what to do. Can anyone please help me?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
At the very least this man has communication issues. Soon as a problem arrived he was unable to discuss things with you and instead chose to act out and ruin the relationship. What happens next time an issue comes up that he can't discuss? Is he going to change and disappear again? Probably.
Then you have to consider what was so big that went on in his life that he opted to end a long term relationship over it? Obviously there was something in his life he didn't want you to know about. Maybe another woman. Now i admit it's pure speculation, but it fits. He acts weird, grows distant, ends the relationship with you.. now can presume that the relationship with the other woman didn't work out and now he wants you back. Any man that has to be that secretive has something to hide. And likely can't be trusted.
It also sounds as though you are not ready for a relationship. This man either has communication issues, or more likely, something to hide.. has mistreated you and you still want him back. Also, you're saying you pretty much let him dictate how you're going to dress. That means either you were so desperate to keep him and make him happy you changed yourself to suit him instead of letting him love you for who you are, or he bullied you into doing what he wanted. Both are bad signs, one on his end, one on your end. That's either serious control issues on his end, or i don't know, maybe co-dependancy issues on your end. Either way this all sounds like a bad idea. I'd say forget him and take some course of action to improve your self image. To let a man dictate things like how you dress and think thats ok shows you need some work on self esteem. No man, or woman, is worth giving up your self identity, who God made you to be, to make another person happy. If that man can't love you for you then he doesn't love you at all. Move on.
 
C

chich

Guest
#3
DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM!! You will be hurt again..!! Take it from me. I just went down this road too...and I broke up and reconnected 4 times till eventually it finally broke in August because I found out that he is gay! He left me times before and I asked to take me back as well. Each time I thought he was loving me more and more, and somehow we were meant to be but it seems he just was fooling me the whole time while he cheated on me with men! Consider that maybe your man is cheating or has a really dark secret..don't think its all good. Be careful, its not wise to go back to someone who has aleady hurt you, they see you as 'weak' and so the men use this to crush your heart and hurt you. They know you will always be soft and put up with their wrongs. You deserve better, someone who treats you as an equal..not as an oppressor.
 

truefriend28

Junior Member
Oct 1, 2011
12
1
3
#4
Hello guys,

Thanks very much for your replies. It has made me think over my feelings. I realize that I am making a big mistake if I expect something from him and again get into the relationship. I will never give him a damn now.

God is great. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.
 
R

Richard

Guest
#5
Hi.
I am suggesting you please go back to him.That happens in life coz this life,relations are such a strange and made by God.this may be plan of god...Please go ahead and face the situation and this is the chant of Human life
 
J

JamieU

Guest
#6
Well, first of all.. Free your mind, let all this not bother you because you are doing right, theres nothing you can do is wrong. Maybe he is going through some harsh things at the moment, I pray for you and him so that you can be reunited. I can suggest councilling or something like that. Or try and keep calm and keep trying to win his love back. Maybe its something that you have done that needs to be repented? Keep talking to God, he will guide you in the right direction. i hope everything works out and i will pray for you