When married people step over the line

[Jullianna]

It really bothers me when married/separated (STILL married) guys flirt with me, even “christians” have done it...
How do you react when a married person flirts with you, online or otherwise?

[Stratocaster]

It has happened to me a few times. I always feel incredibly uncomfortable. I even feel uncomfortable just being alone with them if we're around the same age. The marriage bed should be kept pure, and I would never want someone in a shady-looking situation with MY wife.

[Jullianna]

I totally agree, Stratocaster. It's so important to avoid every appearance of evil, isn't it? When you are married (or for me, even if you are in a relationship with someone) it's so important to consider how something might appear to the other person.

[Nalu]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

It really bothers me when married/separated (STILL married) guys flirt with me, even “christians” have done it...
How do you react when a married person flirts with you, online or otherwise?

I agree Julliana. It's uncool.

[Jullianna]

nice mistletoe, Nalu

[alienx7587]

Originally Posted by Stratocaster

It has happened to me a few times. I always feel incredibly uncomfortable. I even feel uncomfortable just being alone with them if we're around the same age. The marriage bed should be kept pure, and I would never want someone in a shady-looking situation with MY wife.

^This.

Even the "world" tends to look down upon unfaithful spouses.

[Oncefallen]

Unfortunately the church has grown to reflect the world instead of being salt and light to the world. So many people in the church have grown to accept that if a person is "separated" from an "unhappy" marriage that is ok for them to date. For the most part much of the church has thrown out Biblical values as it pertains to Godly marriage, and biblical reason for divorce. The church has somehow decided that we deserve happiness in all things first and foremost ahead of God's work in our lives to produce Holiness.

[Nalu]

Originally Posted by Nalu

I agree Julliana. It's uncool.

Thank ya kindly Miss Julliana, this festive sprig of mistletoe was given to me by SisterDee.

Speaking of Festive, we are having a Christmas gathering right here on Christian Chat.com and lemme tell ya, its gonna be a hoot.

I'm often asked (actually I am making this up as I go) who is invited to this Christmas soiree we are having?
Answer, everyone. So ya all come.

Sorry for taking this post off topic Julliana.

[Jordache]

People will flirt. They will do it purposefully. They will do it "accidentally" as in it's just a part of their personality and they don't realize it. You just kindly set you boundary with them. A new friend of mine was recently getting a bit too friendly texting me at very odd times just to see how I was doing. I texted him, "You're awfully affectionate for a FRIEND." He laughed it off, but backed down. He doesn't flirt anymore. He was not purposefully flirtatious. He has a player past and I don't think he's realized how he comes off sometimes, and how friendly is too friendly.

[zeroturbulence]

This has happened to me and to me its no big deal. I just flirt back and we both have a good laugh afterwards. There is a HUGE difference between flirting and propositioning.

[LightningClap0002]

Originally Posted by zeroturbulence

This has happened to me and to me its no big deal. I just flirt back and we both have a good laugh afterwards. There is a HUGE difference between flirting and propositioning.

Indeed. And I think a lot of times the courts and circumstances are pretty dang slow. I know someone who has been working on getting her divorce finalized for 2 years now. They've been separated something like 2.5 years.

I'd still not be planning how to get married to said person, but if she thinks of herself as single, if she's lived "singlely", and especially if she's amicable with her "ex" husband, I would consider becoming close friends with her... Or if we were already close friends, i certainly wouldn't push her away.

[Jullianna]

Originally Posted by zeroturbulence

This has happened to me and to me its no big deal. I just flirt back and we both have a good laugh afterwards. There is a HUGE difference between flirting and propositioning.

Shutting the flirting down immediately keeps things from developing into the propositioning stage for me, which is important because this can severely damage relationships with those we are around on a daily basis. However, there are times when the proposition is the very next sentence. I try to be polite, but very clear...it helps when we can do it in what may appear to be a joking manner. Unfortunately, that's not always possible and you just have to walk away.

For me, married is married. I'm not responsible for what they do, but I am responsible for how I respond to it.

[zeroturbulence]

The women who flirted with me were happily married, and I wasn't close friends with any of them. They were all co-workers.

[Jullianna]

Ah...I see. The guys I'm talking about didn't have motives that were quite that innocent... *sigh*

[Jullianna]

Originally Posted by Nalu

Thank ya kindly Miss Julliana, this festive sprig of mistletoe was given to me by SisterDee.

Speaking of Festive, we are having a Christmas gathering right here on Christian Chat.com and lemme tell ya, its gonna be a hoot.

I'm often asked (actually I am making this up as I go) who is invited to this Christmas soiree we are having?
Answer, everyone. So ya all come.

Sorry for taking this post off topic Julliana.

I'm spending Christmas with my son, but I might pop on late. Between school and GIRLS, having him all to myself is rare and I fully intend to take advantage of every second

[Ritter]

Flirting is silly enough when you are not married.

[zeroturbulence]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

Ah...I see. The guys I'm talking about didn't have motives that were quite that innocent... *sigh*

Oh ok. Married guys flirting with you outside of work is definitely a big no-no in my book. At work its like a way to break up the boredom, but outside of work, it becomes more like testing temptation and shows that the person might not be trustworthy in a relationship.

[niceguyJ]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

It really bothers me when married/separated (STILL married) guys flirt with me, even “christians” have done it...
How do you react when a married person flirts with you, online or otherwise?

I'm an old fashioned kind of guy so normally I just throw stones at them and yell "Adulterer adulterer!!".

Seriously, it's a very uncomfortable situation. I would tend to avoid the person, if possible. If not, and it kept up I'd just have to be more direct with them and tell them I'm not comfortable with them flirting with me. Online, I just don't respond to any private messages if I know that's the situation they're in. I'm not going to fill any kind of void, etc. there.
I am usually not comfortable spending time alone with anyone who is in a relationship, whether married or not (that certainly includes people who are separated).

I also would NEVER even come close to flirting with another woman if I was in a relationship. I don't care who sees it as "innocent" or "just fun" or whatever. To me, it would be incredibly disrespectful to the woman I was with. I would expect her to be the same as me on that one. If not, don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

Originally Posted by Oncefallen

Unfortunately the church has grown to reflect the world instead of being salt and light to the world. So many people in the church have grown to accept that if a person is "separated" from an "unhappy" marriage that is ok for them to date. For the most part much of the church has thrown out Biblical values as it pertains to Godly marriage, and biblical reason for divorce. The church has somehow decided that we deserve happiness in all things first and foremost ahead of God's work in our lives to produce Holiness.

Amen. So true.

[Jullianna]

Had to wait til I stopped laughing at the first line before I could read the rest! *writes this down for future reference* Makes note: gather stones

[Ritter]

Yeah, totally off topic, but I'm picturing a set of stockades outside niceguyJ's house.