What's your story?

[AsifinPassing]

Thank you Jullianna, priceofpeace, and violakat!

I appreciate you sharing, and as awesome as y'all are, I know God has even more awesome plans for you!

@ Kat, I hear you. I would hope that would be the way things are, but let me ad absurdum to my point.

If a life or death situation ever occurred between either my untimely death or our child's, I would never fault her for saving the child over me. I couldn't honestly say what I would do in that situation, but I'd accept whatever choice she made.

Ideally, however, I do want a wife who loves God over all, and me second over all.

Thank you for sharing, and God bless you!

@ Jullianna, I never knew, but thank you so much for sharing that! I'm sure it must be really tough at times, but every moment spent together (in my opinion) leaves you better than a life where you never met. The movies City of Angels & Couragous both convey that message well.

In all things, God is Good, and His love endures forever! I know I'm blessed to have known you, and I pray God sends even bigger blessings your way!

@priceofpeace: that's awesome, bud! I know if you cling to God, then He'll help you in all things! Just be patient and remain in His love, Life, and Light.

Thank you for sharing! God bless all of you, and don't be strangers now, ya hear?! ^_^

[AsifinPassing]

Originally Posted by Nigella

I am divorced from a man who completely deceived me (and a whole lot of others, too). He looked like a Christian, he acted like one (outwardly), he could talk the talk and appeared to be walking the walk. But, he is gay. He cheated on me our entire marriage, participating in ghastly, perverse activities I won't elaborate here. To hide his sins, he kept extreme control over me--emotionally and financially. He was a bully and manipulative. He NEVER showed these characteristics before we married. NEVER. He actually admitted that he hid his true self from me until we were married because then he knew I'd be "stuck."

When I found out what was going on, I found all sorts of resources to try to help him, but he loves what he's doing too much and we started a cycle of counseling->things get better->he'd get caught again->more counseling. After I found evidence of his meeting men he'd met on Craigslist in hotels, I threw him out and filed for divorce.

We have two kids, both of whom were devastated. He is "unioned" to another man (I refuse to call it marriage) and I'm single, raising my one child who's still at home (the other is an adult now).

Through it all, God has shown me His love and supernatural protection and provision and I'd never have gotten this close to the Lord had I not thoroughly needed to cling to Him. I never caught any diseases and I got sole custody of the kids. It was a horrible thing to go through, the humiliation, embarrassment, pain for myself and my kids, the uncertainty. But God hugged me close and kept me sane and sharp.

The fallout for me personally is that I have real issues trusting anyone. I'm working on it and there may even be a relationship for me on the horizon, but my heart is tender and it's staying behind the castle walls until God says it's ok to let it out, so to speak.

So that's my story.

God bless you richly, Nigella!

My heart is heavy for you and your family, but rest assured that God is God, and He's holding you, just as you said.

Life can be complex and difficult, for sure; however, I'm blessed for hearing your story of love, faithfulness, and devotion. You are truly remarkable!

In any case, it's understandable that your heart would be fragile, and trust shaken. The thing is, as you continue to live in and with God, He'll heal your heart, and help bring you back to the place of fulfilled love and trust. Just hang in there!

God bless you, and thank you kindly for sharing!

[princeofpeace]

Originally Posted by Nigella

I am divorced from a man who completely deceived me (and a whole lot of others, too). He looked like a Christian, he acted like one (outwardly), he could talk the talk and appeared to be walking the walk. But, he is gay. He cheated on me our entire marriage, participating in ghastly, perverse activities I won't elaborate here. To hide his sins, he kept extreme control over me--emotionally and financially. He was a bully and manipulative. He NEVER showed these characteristics before we married. NEVER. He actually admitted that he hid his true self from me until we were married because then he knew I'd be "stuck."

When I found out what was going on, I found all sorts of resources to try to help him, but he loves what he's doing too much and we started a cycle of counseling->things get better->he'd get caught again->more counseling. After I found evidence of his meeting men he'd met on Craigslist in hotels, I threw him out and filed for divorce.

We have two kids, both of whom were devastated. He is "unioned" to another man (I refuse to call it marriage) and I'm single, raising my one child who's still at home (the other is an adult now).

Through it all, God has shown me His love and supernatural protection and provision and I'd never have gotten this close to the Lord had I not thoroughly needed to cling to Him. I never caught any diseases and I got sole custody of the kids. It was a horrible thing to go through, the humiliation, embarrassment, pain for myself and my kids, the uncertainty. But God hugged me close and kept me sane and sharp.

The fallout for me personally is that I have real issues trusting anyone. I'm working on it and there may even be a relationship for me on the horizon, but my heart is tender and it's staying behind the castle walls until God says it's ok to let it out, so to speak.

So that's my story.

That's terrible, but its good to hear you held on to God in such a traumatic period in your life. It's amazing how in the end of all the things we once thought were terrible times in our lives simply become ways that God was just strengthening us.

[AsifinPassing]

If anyone else would like to share, then please do! Remember that we are a loving, Christian community everyone! No one is pressured to share, but should feel safe enough to choose doing so!

[GreenNnice]

Originally Posted by AsifinPassing

ow I look only for three things:

1. A woman who loves God, and is earnestly trying her best to live with, for, and in Him.

2. A woman who will love me just for me, and more than any other person (except God of course, and our children...).

3. A woman whom God ordains to be with me, and I with her.
?

+++++++++++++++

Amen, Reece.

The Lord leads.

My story is a bit unique but special just the same. I was in sixth grade and met a guy by the name of Eddie. Long story short, we had a close friendship that of course everyone called a "relationship" for about a year and a half. We did the birthdays together, spent time with each other's families, gave gifts on Valentine's Day, the whole works. Then he moved and we lost contact for about five years. We were reacquainted three years ago and began talking and had coffee a couple times over the next year. Sadly, we are in different places in our lives and he was afraid to get into a relationship with me because of my health issues - If something happened and we ended up together, he is in the military - If we relocated to a military base and something happened to me health-wise away from my family while he was deployed, he didn't want me to be stuck on my own trying to manage. I haven't had a relationship since then because no guy will stop to give me the time of day - either my Christianity, appearances, or something else I say or do offends them.

BUT -- I KNOW that God is faithful, and if I am meant to have a mate, I will wait for the one that HE has destined for me in HIS time.

[AsifinPassing]

Amen to that.

Thank you for sharing Chcsurvivor! I'm sorry things didn't work out, but just continue to be strong and take heart as you wait upon the Lord.


...and thanks Green. You're Awesome!

[MrHonest]

I learned about wants, needs, selfishness, suicidal behavior as a way to guilt for attention. I learned good things & bad things. I grew thoughtful but more introvert. I learned disloyalty, rage, disgust. So because of that I'm more patient, less selfish, less introvert (after it all), respectful, thankful, caring, but I lost my willingness to trust with heart & that is what changed in me the most. So I meet girls who seek immediate attention & I push those away the hardest.

I recently learned, when I found CC, that the woman beyond my dreams will be faithful in God & that the love there will be true to God & therefore the most amazing love between man & woman. I never imagined to be so proud of people I'd never met. All the men, women, guys, girls, & children in CC have taught me so much & I still have a lot to learn.

But the singles who faithfully wait, faithfully pray, I really admire you. This helps me grow as a Christian more than you realise. Thank you!

[Jilly81]

Aw, that's sweet, Randy . Thank you for thanking us. I feel like I got a present today, even though I didn't post in this thread .

CHCSurvivor, I really admire your attitude about life; it's one I try to have for myself also.

Now to go read the first page of this thread.

[_Hope_]

my story, well I have only had two boyfriends so far, and one almost boyfriend lol

the first guy I met my freshmen year of high school. I wasn't really interested in dating until then, when all my friends had there boyfriends and I suddenly wanted to see what it was like to have one and all that jazz. So I went out with boyfriend #1, wasn't serious at all and I ended it after 3 months.

Boyfriend #2 was a completely different story tho. I thought I was in love with him but I was mistaking love for lust in all honesty. God told me time and time again to break up with him but me being the stubborn one I was ignored Him. I was really close to God before boyfriend #2 but once I started going out with him, against not only Gods wishes but my parents as well, I lost sight of who was really important, God. The first year of dating was innocent enough, all the lovey-dovey texts and phone calls and conversations that had no real meaning, where there and ever present. In the second year was when it started to become too physical and he started to act more and more like a jerk. There was less conversation and more, well, hormones. We were both Christians and new better and tried to stop time and time again but it kept escalating. I soon found myself growing more and more resentful towards him because all we would ever do was end up in heated situations. I'm lucky that I didn't give him the one thing I couldn't take back, my virginity. by year three I realized that I no longer had feelings for him and wanted out. I wanted a real relationship, I wanted a guy who valued me and wouldn't treat me like trash, which i'll admit was exactly how i felt at the time. I had tricked myself into thinking that I didn't deserve any better than boyfriend #2 because of all i had allowed to go on, even tho we never went all the way. It was around that time that God opened my eyes and made a break through in me and I finally saw that I am valued and pure in His eyes and that He still loved me even though I had turned away from Him for so long. God is good! I broke up with my boyfriend, which wasn't an all to pretty break-up, and have followed God with all my heart sense.

The almost boyfriend was this guy I had known for years and we began talking and he was really sweet. I was so excited about the prospect of dating him that I told a very good friend of mine all about him. But what I didn't know was that later she would start talking to him too. When i found out, i was crushed because i hadn't allowed myself to fall for a guy in so long sense boyfriend #2. plus I felt betrayed by my friend, who knew how much i liked this guy, yet she still pursued him. I turned towards God and gave all my grief to Him and I was soon over it.

I haven't had so much luck in the love department but I know God has the one for me out there, somewhere. so, yeah thats my story lol

[AsifinPassing]

Originally Posted by _Hope_

my story, well I have only had two boyfriends so far, and one almost boyfriend lol

the first guy I met my freshmen year of high school. I wasn't really interested in dating until then, when all my friends had there boyfriends and I suddenly wanted to see what it was like to have one and all that jazz. So I went out with boyfriend #1, wasn't serious at all and I ended it after 3 months.

Boyfriend #2 was a completely different story tho. I thought I was in love with him but I was mistaking love for lust in all honesty. God told me time and time again to break up with him but me being the stubborn one I was ignored Him. I was really close to God before boyfriend #2 but once I started going out with him, against not only Gods wishes but my parents as well, I lost sight of who was really important, God. The first year of dating was innocent enough, all the lovey-dovey texts and phone calls and conversations that had no real meaning, where there and ever present. In the second year was when it started to become too physical and he started to act more and more like a jerk. There was less conversation and more, well, hormones. We were both Christians and new better and tried to stop time and time again but it kept escalating. I soon found myself growing more and more resentful towards him because all we would ever do was end up in heated situations. I'm lucky that I didn't give him the one thing I couldn't take back, my virginity. by year three I realized that I no longer had feelings for him and wanted out. I wanted a real relationship, I wanted a guy who valued me and wouldn't treat me like trash, which i'll admit was exactly how i felt at the time. I had tricked myself into thinking that I didn't deserve any better than boyfriend #2 because of all i had allowed to go on, even tho we never went all the way. It was around that time that God opened my eyes and made a break through in me and I finally saw that I am valued and pure in His eyes and that He still loved me even though I had turned away from Him for so long. God is good! I broke up with my boyfriend, which wasn't an all to pretty break-up, and have followed God with all my heart sense.

The almost boyfriend was this guy I had known for years and we began talking and he was really sweet. I was so excited about the prospect of dating him that I told a very good friend of mine all about him. But what I didn't know was that later she would start talking to him too. When i found out, i was crushed because i hadn't allowed myself to fall for a guy in so long sense boyfriend #2. plus I felt betrayed by my friend, who knew how much i liked this guy, yet she still pursued him. I turned towards God and gave all my grief to Him and I was soon over it.

I haven't had so much luck in the love department but I know God has the one for me out there, somewhere. so, yeah thats my story lol

Thank you so much for sharing, Hope!

God is good, all the time, and especially seems even more so when we're not.

Keep clinging to Him, and never stop turning back to Him! He's always there with you, and so you should try to always be with Him.

I'm sorry for the difficulties like yours that we choose, but God can use anything and anyone! I pray God blesses you, and makes you a blessing!

Thank you again!

[kayem77]

Sorry guys, my story is boring since I don't have one haha, but at the same time I'm grateful for that. I've only had crushes, a few years ago I had the wrong perception about relationships and men...and myself ( it was so messed up), so I'm glad I didn't have a story before knowing Christ, it could've been very dangerous.

[AsifinPassing]

Originally Posted by kayem77

Sorry guys, my story is boring since I don't have one haha, but at the same time I'm grateful for that. I've only had crushes, a few years ago I had the wrong perception about relationships and men...and myself ( it was so messed up), so I'm glad I didn't have a story before knowing Christ, it could've been very dangerous.

Praise God! I'm glad you haven't gone down the wrong road as far as this is concerned. I would offer, though, the story I shared of the girl I dated who seemed right.

It's not (as far as I know) that either of us did anything wrong, but sometimes people don't mesh or change from when they once did.

The greatest lesson I learned from that is that not getting a 'no' from God is not the same as getting a 'yes'.

I want to encourage you to be strong in the Lord and the power of His might. God doesn't allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear, and what is common to man (as in humankind). He also, always, gives us a way out. Take heart, and cling to Christ!

Thank you for sharing Kayem77, and may God bless you!

[niceguyJ]

I used to date a peg legged woman til I broke it off...
-----
Okay really, I don't have that much of a story either. I'm a friends first kind of person, so that makes a huge difference. In all my years I've yet to meet a girl in person who truly got my attention in a potentially more than friends kind of way. Sure I might've had a crush or three in my younger teen years especially, but I didn't act on them.
Even in my young teen years my goal was always to just meet that one girl I'd spend my life with. So I never got into casual dating or anything that went along with it.
The only times I've met anyone that truly interested me were girls I've met online. Those usually land in the friend zone in a short amount of time too though. However, there were a couple that went on longer with a solid friendship in place and very much discussion about a future together. Neither of those ended up really taking off either though, as in never even to the meet in person and see what is there phase. The first one slowly fell apart and didn't end that great really..but that's okay. I learned some things after to make me glad to be completely out of even the discussion of that.
The last one...well, she is an amazing girl and is going to make someone an awesome wife someday, God willing. After much honesty, prayer, using wisdom God gave me to see things, Him speaking in various ways, etc. we learned it wasn't supposed to go any farther.
I'm definitely not going to encourage anyone to try to jump online just to meet someone. It's much better if you can meet someone where you are. HOWEVER, things happen when you make friends online. Sometimes someone just grabs your attention and there isn't much you can do about it...whether they live nearby or on a whole other continent. That is the interesting thing about the internet huh?
I stick with friends first though either way and I'd rather stay single than settle for anything less than who God knows is best for me... Hopefully someone who will have all of the qualities and other things I look for. God knows best though, so I try to keep an open mind on some things..Key word: TRY...
Yep, that's pretty much me relating to that.

WAKE UP.

[AsifinPassing]

Originally Posted by niceguyJ

I used to date a peg legged woman til I broke it off...
-----
Okay really, I don't have that much of a story either. I'm a friends first kind of person, so that makes a huge difference. In all my years I've yet to meet a girl in person who truly got my attention in a potentially more than friends kind of way. Sure I might've had a crush or three in my younger teen years especially, but I didn't act on them.
Even in my young teen years my goal was always to just meet that one girl I'd spend my life with. So I never got into casual dating or anything that went along with it.
The only times I've met anyone that truly interested me were girls I've met online. Those usually land in the friend zone in a short amount of time too though. However, there were a couple that went on longer with a solid friendship in place and very much discussion about a future together. Neither of those ended up really taking off either though, as in never even to the meet in person and see what is there phase. The first one slowly fell apart and didn't end that great really..but that's okay. I learned some things after to make me glad to be completely out of even the discussion of that.
The last one...well, she is an amazing girl and is going to make someone an awesome wife someday, God willing. After much honesty, prayer, using wisdom God gave me to see things, Him speaking in various ways, etc. we learned it wasn't supposed to go any farther.
I'm definitely not going to encourage anyone to try to jump online just to meet someone. It's much better if you can meet someone where you are. HOWEVER, things happen when you make friends online. Sometimes someone just grabs your attention and there isn't much you can do about it...whether they live nearby or on a whole other continent. That is the interesting thing about the internet huh?
I stick with friends first though either way and I'd rather stay single than settle for anything less than who God knows is best for me... Hopefully someone who will have all of the qualities and other things I look for. God knows best though, so I try to keep an open mind on some things..Key word: TRY...
Yep, that's pretty much me relating to that.

WAKE UP.

Wasn't falling asleep, lol. Thank you for sharing NiceguyJ.

It's cool that you've sought The Lord and given this part of your life (as much as is so) to Him. It's encouraging to know there are those who will wait patiently (or not so patiently, but still wait...lol).

I pray that God blesses and leads you, bro! Hang in there! God's got Awesome plans in store for you!

[Ritter]

My dating history is riddled with almosts, could have beens, and disappointments. I've had no real success, but then, who really does until they are married?

All I know is that there is this girl I love, but I do not know how to tell her.

[Jullianna]

Kayem/Karla: You are blessed

Randy: Thank you. We are enjoying having you here too.

Niceguy: Cute

Ritter: Find a way to tell the girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How does she feel about you? How well do you know her? I'm nosey like that

[JJAC]

well actually i went through a similar thing
just tell her
that's it
but know that God is with you
and with Him on your side you can do anything

[AsifinPassing]

Well, Ritter, allow me to answer you with this memorable Disney moment.

Aladdin - Tell her the Truth! - YouTube

^_^ God bless, bro! Just a bit of serious humor for ya! There's no special method. Just talk to her, and let her know how you feel.

[Ritter]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

Kayem/Karla: You are blessed

Randy: Thank you. We are enjoying having you here too.

Niceguy: Cute

Ritter: Find a way to tell the girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How does she feel about you? How well do you know her? I'm nosey like that

I don't know. She's the same girl for whom I asked you all for dating tips months ago. We went out on a date and a week after she said something that sounded like she wanted to be friends, but wasn't entirely clear. I wanted to resolve the issue by telling her, but could never find the right way. This was last October.

I know her quite well. See her almost everyday. She reminded me of the song in my heart long after I forgot the words...still does. I've tried to acclimate myself to the fact that it is more than likely I won't end up with her. I've come up with every rational defense in the book. I've tried looking at other women. I thought break would be a nice buffer to get over her, but that month didn't help.

A good friend of mine is also starting to go out with her though it is nothing official or serious.

So here I am. :/