Where are the girls?

[dothackzero]

Basically, I've been joining a lot of new church things to hopefully make friends and find a girlfriend. But seriously, most of the new things I joined have mostly guys in them. And the girls that are in them usually have boyfriends, or I'm not interested in them.

Even with my closest friends they aren't helping me at with inturdusing me to new girls. Basically they just saying I need to get closer to God before I get a girlfriend. Which I am trying grow closer to God while I'm waiting.

Basically, I'm getting more involved with chruch stuff, and I'm still having problems finding girls. I'm also starting to doubt if I did find a girl I liked, I wouldn't be able to get her to like me back.

[Jullianna]

You worry too much Chill!

Can I be honest about something? If a guy/girl tries too hard, one of two things can happen:

The other person will feel pressured and bail; or
The other person will take advantage of you and possibly hurt you

Sounds like you are meeting some girls, but you aren't interested in them. Why don't you try being friends with them? If you spend more time with them, you might become more comfortable talking with girls. And, who knows, once they get to know you, they might know a girl or two they think might be a good fit for you...or you might find one or two of them more interesting than you first thought.

BUT, (here comes the nagging ) don't let girls be the reason you become involved in church activities. Put God first. Christian girls admire and respect this.

[JerryRice]

hi julianna. maybe hack lives in a remote area. or all the girls are taken by me.

[dothackzero]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

You worry too much Chill!

Can I be honest about something? If a guy/girl tries too hard, one of two things can happen:

The other person will feel pressured and bail; or
The other person will take advantage of you and possibly hurt you

Sounds like you are meeting some girls, but you aren't interested in them. Why don't you try being friends with them? If you spend more time with them, you might become more comfortable talking with girls. And, who knows, once they get to know you, they might know a girl or two they think might be a good fit for you...or you might find one or two of them more interesting than you first thought.

BUT, (here comes the nagging ) Don't let girls be the reason you become involved in church activities. Put God first. Christian girls admire and respect this.

I am going to the new church things to grow closer to God too. Btw, of the new church things I've been going to there's only been 3 new girls. One of them I know of has boyfriend. The other one is extremly pretty, and I love the way she loves God(Though have only seen her for 4 hours), she's basically the one I want to get to know better, but I don't see any reason why she'd want to be around a guy like me. And the last girl, she's just too big.

[Jullianna]

Originally Posted by JerryRice

hi julianna. maybe hack lives in a remote area. or all the girls are taken by me.

you would do that, wouldn't you, Jerry?

[Jullianna]

Originally Posted by dothackzero

I am going to the new church things to grow closer to God too. Btw, of the new church things I've been going to there's only been 3 new girls. One of them I know of has boyfriend. The other one is extremly pretty, and I love the way she loves God(Though have only seen her for 4 hours), she's basically the one I want to get to know better, but I don't see any reason why she'd want to be around a guy like me. And the last girl, she's just too big.

Girls with boyfriends have friends that are girls. *hint hint* You can still be friends with them to help yourself become more comfortable talking with girls.

YOU don't see any reason she might be interested in you, but she might see it differently. If you don't try, you'll never know. Even if she isn't interested in you, she could still be a good friend and helpful to you in reaching out to girls.

Not sure what you mean by "too big", but please don't tell me. It might offend someone needlessly, start an argument and trash your thread.

[GreenNnice]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

You worry too much Chill!

Can I be honest about something? If a guy/girl tries too hard, one of two things can happen:

The other person will feel pressured and bail; or
The other person will take advantage of you and possibly hurt you

Sounds like you are meeting some girls, but you aren't interested in them. Why don't you try being friends with them? If you spend more time with them, you might become more comfortable talking with girls. And, who knows, once they get to know you, they might know a girl or two they think might be a good fit for you...or you might find one or two of them more interesting than you first thought.

BUT, (here comes the nagging ) don't let girls be the reason you become involved in church activities. Put God first. Christian girls admire and respect this.

------
Yes, dothack0, what julieannie said, and...

Just be yourself. Girls WANT a genuine guy who is not trying to be someone he is not. My friend, Dhz, just go with God. Pray and go to singles church Sunday and weeknight, you will be in His will that way and be CONFIDENT of who you are, not just a guy from God but having conquered your life to a state of FREEDOM that will reap blessings galore from Him as you continúe to reBuke bad things clouding and murking your mind with God's good things for you

Go to singles EXPECTING....

nothing, not going to meet a girl , just going to listen to the worship music, and, as the Lord leads, raising your hands during songs that the Spirit moves you and just then being caz in group table talk time, talking about your doing things like time spent on cc and watching good movies, (see '7 days in utopía' , max Payne , etc.) , time with brothers, sisters , friends had that past weekend, etc. Keep it simple.
But Ask Him (in prayer) as you talk at the singles table, you will know just what to say .
----()-----
YOU start evocative threads , DotHack0, on cc, God has gifted you in that inquisitive, queztioning way, and, many more ways, too, gifted, I am positive.

Just follow Him the whole singles Sunday and alzó if church attend has a singles night, YOU will be led, greatly, every time you go, not with a girl friend becoming a girlfriend, could happen, but, just saying that you will grow as a man in that environment as He leads .

Those girls coming to a singles church service with guys often are just the girl's good friend too, not serious relationship do they have so, let the lord lead

God bless your going out there and being a part of that good thing, remember, too, ALWAYS be respectful of ALL girls, and, talk to as many as you can, just become their friend. The Lord leads

[dothackzero]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

Girls with boyfriends have friends that are girls. *hint hint* You can still be friends with them to help yourself become more comfortable talking with girls.

That's true, but I tend to be kind of afraid of getting close to girls with boyfriends. Mostly about their boyfriend getting jeluase and starting thinking I'm trying to take her away from him. and them trying to hurt because of it.

Originally Posted by Jullianna

YOU don't see any reason she might be interested in you, but she might see it differently. If you don't try, you'll never know. Even if she isn't interested in you, she could still be a good friend and helpful to you in reaching out to girls.

I'm still gonna try to talk to her, but still even if things don't go right. I haven't had a lot of luck with girls(As in none of them have tried) trying to play match maker with me...

Originally Posted by Jullianna

Not sure what you mean by "too big", but please don't tell me. It might offend someone needlessly, start an argument and trash your thread.

You probably already know the answer to that one.

[dothackzero]

Originally Posted by dothackzero

That's true, but I tend to be kind of afraid of getting close to girls with boyfriends. Mostly about their boyfriend getting jeluase and starting thinking I'm trying to take her away from him. and them trying to hurt because of it.

Though I do got to admit I am already closest to the female leader(The one with the boyfriend)

[Crossfire]

Bro, I feel for ya'. Since returning to the Lord as an adult, I have yet to meet anyone at church or at seminary that I would seriously consider dating. I'll be the first to admit that there are days when I've felt frustrated. Especially when you meet someone that you are very interested in that appears to be interested in you also but for some reason or another you just knew it would not work out.

However, God has used this time to show me a lot about what a Godly relationship is supposed to look like and how a Godly husband and father should be like. God has brought me a long way and, since there isn't a female currently in the picture, I take it that God has more in mind that He wants to show me before I meet that special someone. Try your best to be patient and allow God to do a work in you. You future relationship will be all the more sweeter, that's a guarantee!

[CC_Bride]

Don't be a whiner

For every 5 Christian women theres one Christian bloke,so statistically you're the majority.
Secondly, to sounds to me like you're treating God like some matchmaker who is not hooking you up. That is not his priority, his priority is being your Saviour
So whether you like it or not, your friends are right.

[zeroturbulence]

Dot, I have a new mission in life for you. Your mission, should you choose to accept it.. is to have more female friends than male friends. If you want some pointers on how to be friends with women, just ask any gay man (and thats not a joke).

[Jullianna]

Originally Posted by CC_Bride

Don't be a whiner

For every 5 Christian women theres one Christian bloke,so statistically you're the majority.
Secondly, to sounds to me like you're treating God like some matchmaker who is not hooking you up. That is not his priority, his priority is being your Saviour
So whether you like it or not, your friends are right.

I have to say that if I meet a guy who is a whiner I can't get away from him fast enough...seriously

[rafiki]

my two pence thot in this is that...you really can't get someone to like you....they should just do...coz that's when you know they like the real you...and not what you're fronting as you...make sense?

[rafiki]

Originally Posted by Jullianna

I have to say that if I meet a guy who is a whiner I can't get away from him fast enough...seriously

...i don't think he's whining...he's just stating what i'm sure a good number of people think...he just didn't edit his thots..he was for real?

[Jullianna]

Oh no! I didn't mean the OP was a whiner. I was just agreeing that, in general, I don't like to be around whiners.

[Siberian_Khatru]

lol @ thread topic.

Originally Posted by CC_Bride

For every 5 Christian women theres one Christian bloke,so statistically you're the majority.

Got sources?

[Crossfire]

Originally Posted by CC_Bride

For every 5 Christian women theres one Christian bloke,so statistically you're the majority.

Definitely not true in the state of North Carolina, USA. The single guys in church outnumber the girls at least 3 to 1. The guy to girl ratio is pretty high outside of the church as well.

I do feel sorry for the ladies in this area, both the saved and unsaved. Single guys here are very aggressive and seldom take no for answer. I could see how it's easy for a Christian girl to stumble seeing as many married women can't seem to resist and walk away from all the attention they get either.

[PopClick]

Originally Posted by dothackzero

Basically, I've been joining a lot of new church things to hopefully make friends and find a girlfriend. Basically, I'm getting more involved with chruch stuff, and I'm still having problems finding girls.

Originally Posted by dothackzero

I am going to the new church things to grow closer to God too. Btw, of the new church things I've been going to there's only been 3 new girls.

Okay, I'm going to end up sounding judgmental or accusatory no matter how hard I try here, I'm sure. So please, nobody take it that way. But .hack0, you don't tend to start many threads asking how to grow closer to God. You ask how to find a girlfriend. And we tell you the same thing: Don't focus on girls, focus on God.

Here comes the judgmental-sounding part: try asking God to help you grow closer to Him, ask Him to help you desire a close relationship with Him, and ask Him to help you really, really love Him.

I believe God will honor a request like this, if it is truly what you want.

Don't ask God to be closer to Him so that "all these things will be added unto you", do it if God really is your first love and your heart's desire.

And no matter how it sounds, I really am trying to help.

[dothackzero]

Originally Posted by PopClick

Okay, I'm going to end up sounding judgmental or accusatory no matter how hard I try here, I'm sure. So please, nobody take it that way. But .hack0, you don't tend to start many threads asking how to grow closer to God. You ask how to find a girlfriend. And we tell you the same thing: Don't focus on girls, focus on God.

Here comes the judgmental-sounding part: try asking God to help you grow closer to Him, ask Him to help you desire a close relationship with Him, and ask Him to help you really, really love Him.

I believe God will honor a request like this, if it is truly what you want.

Don't ask God to be closer to Him so that "all these things will be added unto you", do it if God really is your first love and your heart's desire.

And no matter how it sounds, I really am trying to help.

I don't ask questions about how to get closer to God because I already know how, It just seems like it's a slow process to getting to know him better.