Seeking Encouragement

[Skymeetswater]

Hello, I'm really depressed right now. I have been crying out to the Lord to help me. I was in a dating relationship that just recently ended. After being together for two months he abruptly told me over the phone that we were not a good match and better off as friends. I asked him why and he said because I smoke cigarettes and that it is very unattractive. The way that he talked to me was so rude and hurtful. I feel awful already because I can't stop smoking and I feel very insecure about that. His rejection of me, and especially as a woman, being told I'm unattractive is so painful and a real battle for me right now. I've been trying to look at it objectively but I am really struggling right now. Thank you.

[hotpack]

do not display nothing to that curt. U are a beautiful woman. I would like to meet u my self.

[Liz01]

hi Skymeetswater, im sorry that you are going through this painful experience. Its not nice that someone had told you that, but you are beautiful and you can be sure about that. God knows you before you born and love you exactly in the way you are, for Him you are forgiven, accepted, you are his loved and victorious child.

I understand your battle because i smoke for 14 years and a lot , and i assure you that if you ask to God for help to quit smoking he can do that, he can heal your heart and remove all the reasons of why you smoke. Maybe this is a time for you to leave the dependance of the cigarrete and depend completely in God to fulfill your needs.

And the good news are that our lungs are a part of the human body that are able to regenerate completely, so if you stop smoking now, in some time your lungs will be like new lungs.

So, give you time to heal, i will be praying for you too

[Liz01]

I only wanted to add that I quit smoking 4 years ago thanks to God. (i couldnt edit my last post at time.... )

[Ugly]

Ok, first, lets take off the 'estrogen filters' that you have on to at least one of his comments. You said that he told you ''that it is very unattractive'' that you smoke. But then you go on to say ''being told i'm unattractive''. Right there is part of the problem. You've twisted a comment made towards an action and taken it as something personal. According to your own post he Did Not call You unattractive. He called your smoking habit unattractive and that is two totally different comments from being told You are unattractive.
And really, only two months of dating? Not exactly a strong bond or heavy emotions going to be there. Personally it sounds to me like more of your response is overreaction than anything else. Actually, there's a flattering element to this. Obviously he doesn't like the idea of dating a smoker, yet he was still willing to try to date you for two months. So he must have seen something in you that made him willing to go against his standards, or at least attempt to, to date you. It's actually quite a compliment that he made that effort. But, you have to face it, its difficult for a non-smoker to date a smoker. Smokers will always stink of smoke, their clothes, hair, car, house.. and maybe even things you wouldn't expect. Then kissing a smoker, ew. And also the concerns over their health can be taxing. I have someone very dear to me that smokes and it is difficult for me to know she smokes because i worry about her health.
So really, you weren't rejected.. your smoking was. You were told you were unattractive.. your smoking was. You were found attractive enough to at least try to go against his standards, but he just couldn't do it. There is a lot of positive stuff in this situation if you look past the end of this very short relationship.

Hello Skymeetswater. I know you are very upset, and I want you to know that I, along with others, care. It's a shame your friend didn't look past your physical habit...if only he humbled himself to see what a great person you must be. And about the smoking, if you wish to quit, turn to the Lord for guidance. He can help and we can support you with prayers. If you need to talk to someone, we can chat, and I'll try to help however I can.