You Don't Have to Learn the Hard Lessons the Hard Way

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
The older I get the more I realize how important it is to LISTEN and LEARN from the mistakes of others.

If you are single and think you might be missing out on something by not having sex or if you are married and think you might be missing something by remaining faithful to your spouse, I hope God will answer questions you may have by reading this.

A 23 year old recently divorced woman I know shared this information with several of us today. She was married, but her marriage was “missing something”. She married her high school sweetheart just after graduation and the two of them apparently “drifted apart”. She was a christian. He said he was too, but she later discovered he was not, especially when she came home and caught him with two teenage girls in their own home.

Apparently guys were hitting on her obviously all the time and she knew they were only interested in her for “one thing”, as she is very attractive. Then she met “Mr. Nice Guy”, who was “different from the others”. Mr. Nice Guy was MARRIED btw. He told her that he loved her, that his wife was cheating on him too, blah….blah…blah. And she fell for it. Apparently they had an affair for about a month and he decided that he was going to stay with his wife. (Translation: He got what he wanted and was moving on)

So…she has decided that “Men lie to get what they want, even the “nice” guys” so, from now on, she is going to “use sex to get what SHE wants”…ugh. (Yes, I’m praying for her)

There are SO many lessons here….

- Don’t take a prospective spouse’s word that they are a christian. Take your time and observe their dedication and fruit. Are they as passionate as you are about the Lord?
- There’s no hurry to marry as soon as you are legally able to do so. You are not the same person at 18 that you will be 5 or even 10 years from now.
- When you are intimate with someone who isn’t willing to wait until you are married to them, you are setting yourself up for heartache. Please understand that I’m not blaming/bashing just guys here. Women lie too. Women use men too. We know that.
- If you are married, the grass is not greener on the other side. Your vantage point just makes it appear that way.

Just look at how many people were hurt in this situation alone! No wonder God hates this so much!

I know my threads are normally far more uplifting than the last two, but I've seen SO MANY hurting people lately. If only one person is warned and protected, it will have been worth the time and prayer, right?
 
C

CatWoman

Guest
#2
#2
Your absaluotley right. People do need to take their time getting to know someone before they get married or get into a relationship. I don't understand when I hear someone who is devorced or seperated bashing their ex. I'm always like "hey why did you marrie them then? didnt you get the chance to know them? you must have loved them at one time cause you married them." I know people need to unload their feelings at times and thats ok. But when one goes around spluring out their hatetred twoard their ex I think they make themselfs look stupid.Hey buddy if they were such an awful person why were you dumb enough to marrie them?( I know Im going to get a lot of feedback on that last comment)
If you have childern, do not talk bad about your ex in front of them. That is their mom or dad and they love them.When they growup your childern can decide what kind of person your ex is. Sorry to get so far off the topic of this thread.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#3
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#3
Using sex to get what she wants will leave her feeling very empty inside. She'll basically be prostituting herself to get what she wants and in the process will degrade the act of sex from the deeply meaningful and special act that it was meant to be to an effective tool for manipulation. It may work in tv dramas, books and movies, but not so well in real life.
 
Saul_Durian

Saul_Durian

Banned
#4
Nov 10, 2011
607
6
0
#4
I learned these lessons the hard way. I got married, and everything was great until about 6 months past (conveniently the window for getting an annulment). Then she went nuts, became really mean and bitter. We got a divorce because I didn't get along with her b/f all that much. Nor did I enjoy paying his bills.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#5
#5
zeroturbulence said:
Using sex to get what she wants will leave her feeling very empty inside. She'll basically be prostituting herself to get what she wants and in the process will degrade the act of sex from the deeply meaningful and special act that it was meant to be to an effective tool for manipulation. It may work in tv dramas, books and movies, but not so well in real life.
Click to expand...
GABE: I completely agree. Praying the God will do a work in her life and fill the HUGE hole.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
CatWoman said:
Your absaluotley right. People do need to take their time getting to know someone before they get married or get into a relationship. I don't understand when I hear someone who is devorced or seperated bashing their ex. I'm always like "hey why did you marrie them then? didnt you get the chance to know them? you must have loved them at one time cause you married them." I know people need to unload their feelings at times and thats ok. But when one goes around spluring out their hatetred twoard their ex I think they make themselfs look stupid.Hey buddy if they were such an awful person why were you dumb enough to marrie them?( I know Im going to get a lot of feedback on that last comment)
If you have childern, do not talk bad about your ex in front of them. That is their mom or dad and they love them.When they growup your childern can decide what kind of person your ex is. Sorry to get so far off the topic of this thread.
Click to expand...
Thank you. :) It's actually VERY related. These situations hurt everyone, especially children if they have them.

I can't imagine how much these things grieve the heart of God when He sees the resulting suffering, can you?
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#7
#7
ummm...*that* God will do a work (grrr at the edit time limit thingie)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#8
#8
Saul_Durian said:
I learned these lessons the hard way. I got married, and everything was great until about 6 months past (conveniently the window for getting an annulment). Then she went nuts, became really mean and bitter. We got a divorce because I didn't get along with her b/f all that much. Nor did I enjoy paying his bills.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing this.
I'm so thankful you have God in your life. :)
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#9
#9
This is an excellent thread because it explains the consecuences of not obey what God says about sex, marriage, fidelity.

I really think that this kind of things need to be warned to others because most of the time the ppl hear "do not do this" or "do not do that" but they dont know why, they dont know that not doing the things that bible says have consecuences of pain, emptiness and not only affect them, but affect many ppl around them.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.