negativity

[Jullianna]

Have you ever been around people who can never say anything positive about anything or anyone? No matter the topic, they head straight for the most negative aspects or search for ways to hurt or insult others? And seemingly almost take pleasure in it?

Is it depression? Is it low self-esteem?

It makes me sad for them because it keeps people away from them, which only ADDS to their loneliness and negativity it seems. We can pray for them and attempt to encourage them, but it seems like they don't WANT to be encouraged.

Is there more we can do? Or is there healing of bitterness that needs to occur? Both maybe?

 

[jimsun]

Hi Jullianna - I feel this is, in the main, a self-esteem problem but coupled with a fear, within, that no matter what is going on in someone's life, they constantly fear things will end in disaster or beyond help.
What saddens me is that nothing is beyond any kind of saving or redemption.
I guess I saw things in complete perspective, realising how truly blessed I am, that day in September 2006 when I opened my eyes after 5 days on life support.
Ok I now have an unstable brain injury but hey! I'm Irish - Instability is in the genes!!!
J+

 

[Relena7]

There is great power in being able to take a negative situation, and look at the bright side of it, or the larger picture.

Anyone can look on the bright side of a good situation. But it takes a special type of strength and maturity and peace to to learn how to look at a bad situation and find a hidden blessing in disguise. ^_^


Also, if this offends anyone, ^ I seriously apologize. I do not mean to belittle any serious things like family member deaths or terminal illness. If you take this as belittling, then I have worded my post wrong because that is the last thing I mean to do.

All I am saying is humans have a tremendous ability to bounce back, to forgive the past.

 

[GreenNnice]

There is great power in being able to take a negative situation, and look at the bright side of it, or the larger picture.

Anyone can look on the bright side of a good situation. But it takes a special type of strength and maturity and peace to to learn how to look at a bad situation and find a hidden blessing in disguise. ^_^


Also, if this offends anyone, ^ I seriously apologize. I do not mean to belittle any serious things like family member deaths or terminal illness. If you take this as belittling, then I have worded my post wrong because that is the last thing I mean to do.

All I am saying is humans have a tremendous ability to bounce back, to forgive the past.

----

God has an infinite ability and infinite desire to forgive all our pasts by our willingness to drop 'it' (our past) at The Cross, rel
______

Anyone can look on the bright side of a good situation. But it takes a special type of strength and maturity and peace to to learn how to look at a bad situation and find a hidden blessing in disguise. ^_^

Most excellently said, milady. And, we find that 'strength and maturity' from our Love of Jesus in our hearts, ringing melody

 

[Relena7]

Most excellently said, milady. And, we find that 'strength and maturity' from our Love of Jesus in our hearts, ringing melody

Oooh, that has been Jesus doing all that??
I must be blessed then.

 

[Liz01]

yes Relena7, i think you are blessed

 

[Jullianna]

Hi Jullianna - I feel this is, in the main, a self-esteem problem but coupled with a fear, within, that no matter what is going on in someone's life, they constantly fear things will end in disaster or beyond help.
What saddens me is that nothing is beyond any kind of saving or redemption.
I guess I saw things in complete perspective, realising how truly blessed I am, that day in September 2006 when I opened my eyes after 5 days on life support.
Ok I now have an unstable brain injury but hey! I'm Irish - Instability is in the genes!!!
J+

God is with you, jimsun, and we are blessed to have you here.

 

[Jullianna]

There is great power in being able to take a negative situation, and look at the bright side of it, or the larger picture.

Anyone can look on the bright side of a good situation. But it takes a special type of strength and maturity and peace to to learn how to look at a bad situation and find a hidden blessing in disguise. ^_^


Also, if this offends anyone, ^ I seriously apologize. I do not mean to belittle any serious things like family member deaths or terminal illness. If you take this as belittling, then I have worded my post wrong because that is the last thing I mean to do.

All I am saying is humans have a tremendous ability to bounce back, to forgive the past.

I completely agree that God works all things together for our good, Relena...even extreme personal losses.

It's just that my heart is going out today to people who have complained so much and been so negative that people avoid them, call them whiners and mock them. Other than praying for them and trying to encourage them, I don't know how to help them out of the funk that seems to be swallowing them up.

 

[Liz01]

All the negativity from the ppl i have known comes from the pain, so in those cases they need to heal.
I have seen sometimes how that negative ppl is softened and changed after others treat them with love and patience. But in all the cases that change have taken a lot of effort and time (is very touching see them changing though )

 

[GreenNnice]

Oooh, that has been Jesus doing all that??
I must be blessed then.

-,,,,-
Indeed, you are, rel, He,blesses all-having no favorites-who choose His infinite mercy toward our sins, yesterday's, today's, and, all of our tomorrows

Where sin abounds, grace abounds more, infinitely more.

Good verse is Romans 5:20
======
Julieannie, when others are negative, there countenanc is fallen, and, not to judge, but, sometimes people can be positively critical to us and we are perceiving it as negativity.

We need to pray to God for understanding of others' attitudes, which God will give us in peaceful understanding (phil. 4:7) . Negativity is something that is part of our lives and The Spirit will lead us as we do, milady, as you said, 'pray,' and then.....

The Spirit worketh out their hearts, convicts them if they are a believer IF it is His will, can change them to a believer IF they know you are a christian and see your positive way of handling their thoughts, perhaps, meant to bring you down. Satan works in negativity too, and, that is proven in Cain's countenance when he is angry at brother's offering better than his and jealously kills him.

And, why would God want people to stay with a negative personality? That I don't know, no one does but God, and, He,knows best and that negativity of a believer may be the only way for another negativity person to be open to The gospel of Christ .

 

[Jullianna]

All the negativity from the ppl i have known comes from the pain, so in those cases they need to heal.
I have seen sometimes how that negative ppl is softened and changed after others treat them with love and patience. But in all the cases that change have taken a lot of effort and time (is very touching see them changing though )

I'm thinking the same, Liz..... Will probably take time, a lot of prayer and a lot of Jesus, huh?

 

[1still_waters]

People are the way they are for a reason. So it's impossible to really know why or what caused it. We can't be harsh with them, because we haven't been in their shoes. Ideally our only reaction to them should be love, because there is no law against love.

Ideally that's how we should handle these folks. Practically, I sometimes want to just turn them off, and even want to blame them for sticking in the mud their own negativity for so long.

 

[GreenNnice]

People are the way they are for a reason. So it's impossible to really know why or what caused it. We can't be harsh with them, because we haven't been in their shoes. Ideally our only reaction to them should be love, because there is no law against love.

Ideally that's how we should handle these folks. Practically, I sometimes want to just turn them off, and even want to blame them for sticking in the mud their own negativity for so long.

-,,-
Yes, I want to turn them off too, BeStill, and, in fact, I mostly always do just the opposite, showing them positive vibes, not that it changes anything from what I do, but I know God must be working through me because He gives me strength to understand,how,to be around someone with a negative outlook on life. My dad's 3rd wife was very negative looking all the time and scowled a lot, but I always,met her negativity with positive confidence and it helped me understand she was really just that personality and couldn't help it . There were times that I saw her beautiful too in things she did to help others despite her negative way of speaking to others with glass half-empty.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Have you ever been around people who can never say anything positive about anything or anyone? No matter the topic, they head straight for the most negative aspects or search for ways to hurt or insult others? And seemingly almost take pleasure in it?

Is it depression? Is it low self-esteem?

It makes me sad for them because it keeps people away from them, which only ADDS to their loneliness and negativity it seems. We can pray for them and attempt to encourage them, but it seems like they don't WANT to be encouraged.

Is there more we can do? Or is there healing of bitterness that needs to occur? Both maybe?

Have u heard of Dr. Daniel Amen? He is a psychiatrist and a pioneeer of brain imaging technology to measure brain function in different parts of the brain. He's on PBS sometimes. Anyway, many people are actually negative because their brain FUNCTION has been damaged by long term alcoholism or exposure to toxic chemicals, etc.. and this can actually result in the person having the type of negative personality that you describe. His program on PBS is very good, He also gives solutions regarding how to deal with people who have this type of personality. He also does not believe in giving drugs to his patients unless it is truly necessary because he prefers to heal them naturally by eliminating what is causing their brain function impairment.

 

[Jullianna]

People are the way they are for a reason. So it's impossible to really know why or what caused it. We can't be harsh with them, because we haven't been in their shoes. Ideally our only reaction to them should be love, because there is no law against love.

Ideally that's how we should handle these folks. Practically, I sometimes want to just turn them off, and even want to blame them for sticking in the mud their own negativity for so long.

That seems to be the bottom line, doesn't it? Some hurt that they may not even be fully aware of? The kind of pain and/or insecurity that only God can pinpoint and heal.

I think most of us have probably avoided them at one point or another. That just perpetuates the problem and adds to the hurt, doesn't it?

I just feel so bad for them...wish I could do more....*frustrated sigh*

Then again, maybe just being a friend in spite of it all means more than we will ever know...

 

[Jullianna]

Have u heard of Dr. Daniel Amen? He is a psychiatrist and a pioneeer of brain imaging technology to measure brain function in different parts of the brain. He's on PBS sometimes. Anyway, many people are actually negative because their brain FUNCTION has been damaged by long term alcoholism or exposure to toxic chemicals, etc.. and this can actually result in the person having the type of negative personality that you describe. His program on PBS is very good, He also gives solutions regarding how to deal with people who have this type of personality. He also does not believe in giving drugs to his patients unless it is truly necessary because he prefers to heal them naturally by eliminating what is causing their brain function impairment.

That's helpful info, Gabe Thank you!

 

[1still_waters]

That seems to be the bottom line, doesn't it? Some hurt that they may not even be fully aware of? The kind of pain and/or insecurity that only God can pinpoint and heal.

I think most of us have probably avoided them at one point or another. That just perpetuates the problem and adds to the hurt, doesn't it?

I just feel so bad for them...wish I could do more....*frustrated sigh*

Then again, maybe just being a friend in spite of it all means more than we will ever know...

Yeah it's a fine line between showing love to someone who is hurting, and enabling someone who kinda needs to just work on getting through and over things. I think some folks bring certain actions and behaviors from others upon themselves to a certain extent. Not that it's right,..

 

[mystdancer50]

There is a scripture that says that God delights in being kind.

This led me to think about how humans are inherently evil and, without Jesus and Holy Spirit and God, delight in being cruel. You can see it in the way children, our innocents as it were, treat each other, how they have to be taught to share, to be kind, to get along with others. This, to me, is the reason people tend to lean toward negativity and cruelty. Add to this the pain we receive because of our natural tendency to be cruel, and, well, we tend to be even crueler. Just my thoughts. I'm a little tired, so sorry if it doesn't make much sense.

I am so glad to belong to Jesus Christ. Because of Him living in my life, I delight in being kind and encouraging others. It is only due to Him and who He is. Yup.

 

[Relena7]

When people are stuck in a negative thinking funk and unload their problems on me, I try and listen and share advice and thoughts in a gentle nonthreatening way that may sound like something they never heard before, so as not to remind them of stuff they've heard a million times and pull away.

People like this hear the same old conventional advice from family or friends and are used to not really hearing it for what it is, and I try my best not to add on to their pile of baggage with these obvious statements.

I try to be gentle, and a kind listener. If they really persist in poisoning my mood with their baggage and it goes nowhere and they don't seem like they want to change, I will back away so I won't be poisoned myself. I'm a mood sponge sometimes.

 

[Ugly]

I used to be told i was like that. I disagreed then.. and still not sure now if it was true. But that could be me getting in the way of myself, as i heard a lot of complaints about being negative. Self esteem could be an issue. Also depression. Or in some cases perhaps learned from their parents.