I don't get guys!Help!

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chrisbk

Guest
#1
#1
Okay,I've never posted a thread before.Here goes.I have this guy friend and I really care about him.We had been hanging out alot and suddenly he doesn't have time for me.He doesn't like it when I talk to other guys but he is always "busy".He is under alot of stress at work,doesn't make alot of money and is trying to save money to take this class so he can get a better job.Thing is,he has time for other friends.But then again,I told him where I was gonna be yesturday and he showed up there.He does this arm touch thing sometimes where he makes his arm touch mine on pourpose and has been giving me compliments and encouragement.A week ago he hurt my feelings and then wouldn't hardly look at me,then I forgave him right away and smiled really big at him and he smiled back even bigger and seemed to be so happy he kindof laughed like he was relieved.The question is,what is going on here?Does he like me to or am I reading into things?
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#2
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#2
mhmm....and they say we are confusing!
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#3
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,584
113
#3
I hope I'm not sounding too harsh here, but... in my opinion (from my experiences and what I've seen others go through), this is a classic case of someone using the "just in case" approach.

Sure, this guy is trying to better his life (which is admirable). But, it sounds like he's keeping you on the line, "just in case."

As in, "Once I get my better job and better life I want to see what's out there and see if I can find someone to match what I've become in my own mind, but I'll keep this person around, 'just in case' I can't find someone as fast as I'm thinking I will. I can play the field and have this person fawning over me 'just in case' I need someone to fall back on... or as a consolation prize, reliable date in case of emergencies, etc."

You've already seen that he hurts your feelings and you'll still be there in an instant for him. And I'm sure he knows it very well, too. Probably too well, if you know what I mean.

If you meant to him what you're hoping to mean to him, he would make sacrifices, including some, not all, but some of his time, with his "other friends."

I would suggesting asking God to send you a man who makes you, and spending time with you, a priority in his life.

Just my thoughts!

Blessings and best wishes.
 
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chelsers

Guest
#4
#4
chrisbk said:
Okay,I've never posted a thread before.Here goes.I have this guy friend and I really care about him.We had been hanging out alot and suddenly he doesn't have time for me.He doesn't like it when I talk to other guys but he is always "busy".He is under alot of stress at work,doesn't make alot of money and is trying to save money to take this class so he can get a better job.Thing is,he has time for other friends.But then again,I told him where I was gonna be yesturday and he showed up there.He does this arm touch thing sometimes where he makes his arm touch mine on pourpose and has been giving me compliments and encouragement.A week ago he hurt my feelings and then wouldn't hardly look at me,then I forgave him right away and smiled really big at him and he smiled back even bigger and seemed to be so happy he kindof laughed like he was relieved.The question is,what is going on here?Does he like me to or am I reading into things?
Click to expand...
I don't know, but the best way to find out for sure is to ask him. If you're interested in him, put the ball in his court and ask him.
 
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MusicalMe

Guest
#5
#5
Wait... you mean guys don't grow out of this after 25?

...

I quit. (lol j/k)
 
Chopsui101

Chopsui101

Banned
#6
Jan 12, 2009
141
0
0
#6
Maybe he is really busy. sometimes I am too busy to give a girl a full commitment but I try to show her in little ways. Just because he isn't ready for a full blown relationship doesn't mean he doesn't like you
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#7
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#7
The arm touch... Seinfeld

Jerry: You know, I really liked her. We talked. We flirted. And when she
left, she reached out and touched my arm.

(Reaches out to touch Georges arm to demonstrate)
Jerry: He, he, he. (Simulating her feminine laugh)

George: I love when they touch your arm. I can't get enough of that. Why is
that?

Jerry: Let's not even analyze it.
 
K

Kyra

Guest
#8
#8
I think Seoulsearch is right on the money.
Bottom line is: You deserve someone who is going to be honest and pursue you.

If this guy really likes you he will make an effort- a real effort. The more he likes you the more effort he will put into it.
But the fact that this guy is putting work & other friends before you on his priority list- huge warning sign!!
Lower him on your priority list and consider other men. If he gets jealous, good! What is he going to do about it?

A real man who cares about you is going to pull it together and chase you. If not, then he isn't worth the trouble, kick him to the curb. Trust me I've seen women hit the marriage circle with men who didn't pursue and it's a hard run. You don't want that mess.


 
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SamIam

Guest
#9
#9
guys are not very deep, so i think what he's doing pretty much says it all. If he acts like he doesnt wanna spend time with you.. odds are he doesnt really want to. If he's spending time with other friends, but not you.... Yeah i would take that as a hint
 
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Kernwarrior

Banned
#10
Jul 7, 2009
17
0
0
#10
men we fight it , eat it ,kill it ,breed it.destroy it, and if we cant do those we pee on it. cheers
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#12
#12
He spends time with others, but makes excuses about not being able to see you much and he gets mad if you talk to other guys.

If he's spending time with others, but won't spend time with you, then it's obvious he has time available and his 'I'm busy' is more of an excuse, than a reason to not see you. If someone is truly interested in you, they make excuses to hang with you , not excuses to avoid you.

He gets mad if you talk with other guys? I've learned that the matters of the heart aren't always black and white. They're not always on and off. His actions indicate he doesn't want to see you as much as someone who is truly interested, yet in his heart he has enough feelings remaining to get mad when other guys talk to you.

If his remaining feelings were big enough, he'd make excuses to see you, instead of just getting emotional when you talk to other guys. So I wouldn't take his feelings of jealousy as an indicator of anything real for you. They are probably just some remaining feelings that might pass away with time.

Keep an eye on his actions. Does he make excuses to see you? If yes, then he is probably interested.
 
Kakashi

Kakashi

Senior Member
#13
Jan 3, 2007
626
2
0
36
#13
MahogonySnail said:
The arm touch... Seinfeld

Jerry: You know, I really liked her. We talked. We flirted. And when she
left, she reached out and touched my arm.

(Reaches out to touch Georges arm to demonstrate)
Jerry: He, he, he. (Simulating her feminine laugh)

George: I love when they touch your arm. I can't get enough of that. Why is
that?

Jerry: Let's not even analyze it.
Click to expand...
haha!! i love that scene!
 
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Narn

Guest
#14
#14
I don't get guys lol
I would say if he does not have time to spend or do stuff with you then you need to tell him to not manipulate your emotions and get out of the way cause apparently you are not worth his time.
If there was a girl I liked i would find time somehow in my insane schedule to do stuff with her. If he don't have time now will he have time during the marriage? Something to think about. Alot of people say I do and not consider that people don't change their personality when they get married.
 
N

Narn

Guest
#15
#15
No seriously I don't get guys
 
J0Y

J0Y

Senior Member
#16
Mar 7, 2009
509
6
18
#16
Girl.....
Man, I sooo hate it when guys do this!!
I hate to say it, but actions speak volumes and the 'im busy' sign, says to me that he aint all that into you. I understand your confusion, I would be too if I were in your position, but I hear (not from experience yet!! LOL ) that when a guy is REAAAALLY interested in you he will pull out the stops...he WILL make time in his diary...his friends become the lesser priority....(insert male back up on this point!)
You gotta know, that no matter what happens here, your self worth, your happiness and your beauty DOES NOT rest in another man's hands. So put your trust in the Lord, give it over to him....sit back and relax, cos if he is truly interested - he will pursue. ;)
 
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SamIam

Guest
#17
#17
Theres really not that much to get.
 
delboy

delboy

Banned
#19
Jun 1, 2009
8
0
0
#19
"guys are not very deep" - ummm..................if only you spent time in my mind
 
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chelsers

Guest
#20
#20
delboy said:
"guys are not very deep" - ummm..................if only you spent time in my mind
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think there are plenty of deep guys out there, and plenty of shallow ones. Same applies to women :)
 
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