What I can get vs What I have to offer

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Bornfromabove

Guest
#1
I have notice that both men and women love to talk about what they want in a mate but never seem to think a lot about what they have to offer. If you ask most people (men or women) what they want in a partner, they can give you a list that stretches from here to the moon, but if you ask them what they have to offer, they have to scratch their head and think for a moment.

I believe people spend too much time focusing on what they will get from another person instead of what they have to offer. If two people in a relationship are always focused on me, me, me and what the other person can give them, then they both usually end up unsatisfied at the end of the day, but if instead, they both focus on pleasing the other, they will usually both be satisfied.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
This is the same thing i've been saying on this site for some time now.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#3
I agree. Relationships are not give and take. They are give and give some more.
Some people have created threads in the past asking us to list what we have to offer as a potential spouse, but that seems more than a little immodest and tacky, huh? :) This is probably why most threads tend to flow the other way.
 
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#4
What about "what trait(s) do you think you most need to improve upon to be the person you wish to be in a marriage"?
 
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Bornfromabove

Guest
#5
Some people have created threads in the past asking us to list what we have to offer as a potential spouse, but that seems more than a little immodest and tacky, huh? :) This is probably why most threads tend to flow the other way.
Yeah, that would be kind of tacky. I'm not saying make a thread about it, only saying that people should just think about it instead of only thinking about what they can get. Like what can I do to make someone else happy instead only being concerned with what they can do to make me happy....and I'm not saying you shouldn't be concerned with that, there just seems to be an imbalance and people spending most of their time only thinking about what they can get.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#6
What about "what trait(s) do you think you most need to improve upon to be the person you wish to be in a marriage"?
That would be a great one, Lightning. Why don't you do that? :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#7
Yeah, that would be kind of tacky. I'm not saying make a thread about it, only saying that people should just think about it instead of only thinking about what they can get. Like what can I do to make someone else happy instead only being concerned with what they can do to make me happy....and I'm not saying you shouldn't be concerned with that, there just seems to be an imbalance and people spending most of their time only thinking about what they can get.
Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you meant here. :)

But, you are right. Seems like another reflection of the "me" generations, huh?

That imbalance is clearly reflected in the divorce rates for both christians and non-christians.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#9
*sigh* Well, it's a good idea, so I will do it for you :)
 

shawntc

Senior Member
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#10
Food for thought indeed... what can I offer to this person?
 
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HerrGeschichte

Guest
#11
This is a twist off what you usually see . . . I guess if someone were to date me, they would get someone who tries to be smarter than he actually is, someone who will constantly make sure that everything goes right somehow, will always be in some sort of mood for making people laugh, and someone who wouldn't really get mad at them. And I really just want the same in return
 
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Bornfromabove

Guest
#12
What about "what trait(s) do you think you most need to improve upon to be the person you wish to be in a marriage"?
One flaw that I know I have is that when someone ask me to do them a favor that causes me inconvenience, though I may do the favor, I don't do it with a happy attitude. I do it with more of an aggravated attitude.

I also like having time to myself just a little too much. I mean I like having alone time a lot, to the point where I just don't devote as much time as I should to others.
 
Apr 30, 2012
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#13
all i have to offer is myself, take it or leave it. Im pretty ok either way to be honest.