How do you know when you are totally over someone?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
I did something yesterday that was long overdue. I went through my email account and deleted all of the emails to/from a guy, along with his pics, etc. I also purged all of his texts and stuff from my phone. It was a good thing.

Green inspired me with his question threads, so the question of this thread is, "How do you know when you are totally over someone?"
 
B

Bornfromabove

Guest
#2
"How do you know when you are totally over someone?"

When you separate from them, instead of your heart feeling like its tearing apart, it feels like it mending back together.
 
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#3
For me, I have only ever been broken up with. I knew I was "over" them when I realized that I no longer wanted to be with them.

That said, I'm still not convinced that I am "completely over" my first girlfriend, so maybe I shouldn't be answering this question. :)
 
V

violakat

Guest
#4
I think when you can think of that person without feeling sad and wanting to crying. Or even angry and bitter. That's when you know you are beginning to be completely over them.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
#5
I did something yesterday that was long overdue. I went through my email account and deleted all of the emails to/from a guy, along with his pics, etc. I also purged all of his texts and stuff from my phone. It was a good thing.

Green inspired me with his question threads, so the question of this thread is, "How do you know when you are totally over someone?"
When you realize love is nothing but a cruel joke.
 
J

jimsun

Guest
#6
When the person in question becomes a mere acquaintance.
J+
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#7
When you no longer think of him constantly and feel hurt or desire to be with him.

When the Lord has filled you with peace and you can be thankful that it didn't work out. (No anger involved)
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,029
3,238
113
#8
I did something yesterday that was long overdue. I went through my email account and deleted all of the emails to/from a guy, along with his pics, etc. I also purged all of his texts and stuff from my phone. It was a good thing.
I would say you are well on the way to recovery. I think that most people when they get to the point of being able to remove those physical reminders of a prior love from their life (of course unless it's out of spite or anger) have gotten to the point of accepting that what they had between them was not "meant to be." For those who aren't familiar with the grief cycle, acceptance is the final step in the grieving process. I suppose for each of us that grieving process looks a little different, and takes different lengths of time.

As for myself, a big indicator is reaching a point where I am once again content in my singleness and not in some way trying to fill the void left by the other person.




When you realize love is nothing but a cruel joke.
Wow. All I can say is there has to be a lot of pain behind being that jaded towards love. Truly I am sorry that your experiences have caused that kind of reaction in you. I have been cheated on by two women, and had a couple of others use me for what the could get out of my wallet (evidenced by them disappearing when my wallet became empty), but I refuse to believe that all women are like that. I choose to maintain hope that there is a special woman out there that will never leave me or cheat on me and will love me regardless of the amount of cash in my pocket and in spite of my own shortcomings.
 
I

iraasuup

Guest
#9
When you choose to sell your wedding ring to a pawn shop, and use the money to process a passport application.
 
Last edited:
S

somer12

Guest
#10
How do you get to that peace when your mind is constantly on that person?
 

PopClick

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#11
How do you get to that peace when your mind is constantly on that person?
The Lord will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Him. Give God all of your hurts, cares, fears, everything. And remember to thank Him in the midst of struggles. :)
 
C

Crossfire

Guest
#12
When you no longer think of him constantly and feel hurt or desire to be with him.

When the Lord has filled you with peace and you can be thankful that it didn't work out. (No anger involved)
Amen to that! I was in a relationship many years ago that ended abruptly. I deeply cared about this girl and was contemplating buying an engagement ring when I found out she wasn't the person that she made herself out to be. She had a little girl who I'd had grown attached to so when the relationship ended it took years to actually get over it.

Looking back, I so thank God that relationship didn't work out. Although I have no doubt that if she and I had married I would still love her, it would've been one of those relationships where everything had to revolve around her and I would've felt miserable.

Although one of the desires of my heart is to marry one day, I would much rather stay single than to be in that kind of relationship.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#13
When one day you realize you haven't thought about him for days and weeks and you didn't even notice when this indifference started.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#15
For me, I have only ever been broken up with. I knew I was "over" them when I realized that I no longer wanted to be with them.

That said, I'm still not convinced that I am "completely over" my first girlfriend
, so maybe I shouldn't be answering this question. :)
=======
This yearning for this longtime love will be over when your heart truly wants to give her to God, lightnin' and you allow yourself to fall backwards, helplessly, into His arms. The Lord leads. Pray. Listen. When it happens from Him, and, you will know IF you are suppose to let it happen, just let yourself




go. :)


()_______()
Aww, nice to know my green brain's questioning thread inspiration from He inspired thee, julieannie. The Lord leads. God bless you, milady :)
 
C

CC_Bride

Guest
#16
I think when you can think of that person without feeling sad and wanting to crying. Or even angry and bitter. That's when you know you are beginning to be completely over them.
Completely agree. I'll also add, (although this is not always the case) that when their image randomly pops into your head you can think of their memory respectfully thanking God for the part they had to play in His will. Emphasis on memory because if you're thinking of them and its turning into a nostalgic day dream filled of what ifs and has beens, or if you're going places where you ex frequently goes to which reminds you of them or potentially bumping into them you need to deliberately put a stop to it.
 
T

TD14

Guest
#17
Well. To be 100% honest for me it's kind of hard to say. I have only dated 3 girls in my life. Of those three i have only gotten over one. Mainly because that one was mentally and emotionally abusive and alienated me from friends. As for the other two it gets kind of confusing. I'll break off into seperate things here. Keep in mind i live in Ohio. Charity lives in Arkansas and Anna in Wisconsin. So physical contact was non existant except for a week i spent in 2010 with anna in wisconsin and then 4 hours in Indianapolis one night. Charity i have yet to meet.

The first girl i ever dated, Charity. I was head over heals for her and she meant so much to me because she came in to my life at the worst time and helped guide me towards God and towards getting better. So it was on and off for a couple years. She is now married and has two kids and i'm happy for her. So i think with this one i have "gotten over" her but i still find myself thinking back on memories and how she will always be special because she helped reshape my life and get me rolling in the right direction. Granted i'm still not where i would like to be in life but it's a work in progress. That all being said i would still do anything for her within reason and if she came to me and said she needed help or someone to talk to i would be there. Though we ain't talked much since she got married.

The third girl was Anna. We broke up a day before my 18th birthday in 2010. Ever since i find myself in a position where i feel i'm over her in the sense i'm ready to date someone else. However at the same time i find myself thinking back on memories and thinking that the next person i date i don't want her to be like anna but i want her to have some of the same qualities like a big heart, being understanding of my issues physical and mental, and trying to encourage me to keep going and do my best. Me and Anna are best friends still and we talk when we can. I would do anything for her and i know she would for me. I know people say being friends with an ex don't work but for me it has and surprisingly some of the girls i havve talked to after i explained it all they thought it was good i wanted to keep the friendship with her.

So what i'm getting at in all this rambling is this. I'm not sure you really ever "get over" someone completely. I think instead what we do is get to a point where we can accept that it's in the past and can stay there but the memories we had and what we learned are ok to stay in our mind. When i'm having a bad day or needing strength i think of anna. She is my cheer leader, ever since i met her she has always been encouraging me. So basically from my experience we don't really get over someone, instead we move forward from that situation and onto the next. It's kind of like my addiction. I will never "totally get over" my addiction. Instead it will be a part of my daily life and i will have to chose to handle it properly. Just how i will have to choose to handle the memories and friendship of an ex girlfriend properly. Hope this all makes sense. Not saying i'm right at all, just throwing out what i conjured up and how i see it. Probably a strange way of seeing it but not much about me isn't strange.
 
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#18
=======
This yearning for this longtime love will be over when your heart truly wants to give her to God, lightnin' and you allow yourself to fall backwards, helplessly, into His arms. The Lord leads. Pray. Listen. When it happens from Him, and, you will know IF you are suppose to let it happen, just let yourself




go. :)


()_______()
Aww, nice to know my green brain's questioning thread inspiration from He inspired thee, julieannie. The Lord leads. God bless you, milady :)
Truth be told, M Green, I don't have a yearning for her. 5 years ago that would have been a different story, but now I am quite content to not have her. Her life has taken a drastic turn for the worse and I just keep hoping that she would return to and fully embrace the christian life that she professed before we started dating. Our breakup was pretty nasty, but that was so long ago it hardly matters.

I have dated others since her. I am at peace with her not being my wife. I am not at peace with the life she is living. I know that she could be doing great things. The reason I doubt that I am completely over her is more because to this day I would do just about anything in my power to protect her. It is certainly a higher degree of love than I can claim for many others, even my close friends. As for what everyone else is claiming about how they knew they are totally over someone, well I've gone through many of those things already, so maybe I am completely over her.
 

hhhlga89

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2012
174
0
16
#19
1)When you don't care when you hear they're with someone else

2)When you don't think of them.

And a combination of the two..

3)If you don't feel anything when you think of them being with someone else.

but I guess you would have to ask yourself why you are thinking of them being with someone else in the first..
 

error

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#20
I just don't care about him or her anymore.