how do i get this girl out of my head

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gocards25

Guest
#1
#1
Ok im new here, so let me let you know a bit about myself, I am a sigle guy in my mid twenties, I love God and i truely try to follow him in all I do, I am human and I screw up sometimes, but I love the Lord and he is the Rock i stand on.

So here is the issue i am facing. There is this girl that goes to my church, I am totally crazy about here, and I have been for a few months now. We work together with the youth ministry at my church and I see her all the time. We are friends and hang out outside of church sometimes too. Recently I told her how I feel about her and she basically said that "its not where she is right now, and she liked being my 'friend'."

Now at the time i thought I was ok with it, this has been a few weeks now and the feelings dont go away, and the pain keeps coming back. I have prayed and prayed to have someone revealed to me, and that God would show me someone to love and all that. I truely felt that she might be an anwsered prayer. Its not too often, at least in my life where I find someone who is truely beautiful, Loves God, and is just a great person to be around. This is just so hard for me.

It just makes it hard because we do share responsibilty that is very important. I do not want this situation to affect the ministry in any way. But sometimes, being around her just makes the pain and rejection come back to me. It would be easier to run away from it, take the fools way out, but that is not what I should do. I pray and pray about this too, I even try to pray away the feelings, but it is still tough. I just dont know what to do here, and I thank anyone who read through all of this and thanks in advance for any advice.
 
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lenora007

Guest
#3
#3
gocards25 said:
Now at the time i thought I was ok with it, this has been a few weeks now and the feelings dont go away, and the pain keeps coming back. I have prayed and prayed to have someone revealed to me, and that God would show me someone to love and all that. I truely felt that she might be an anwsered prayer. Its not too often, at least in my life where I find someone who is truely beautiful, Loves God, and is just a great person to be around. This is just so hard for me.
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Hey. I'm new to all of this too but I understand what you are saying. I'm not a guy, but from a female perspective I would want to know why it pains you to know that she just wants to be friends right now? I know it is never easy to wear your heart on your sleeve and I have to oftentimes remind myself that I can't get swept up in the arms of convenience. Who doesn't want to find a great person?!

Concentrate on who you are called to be and as long as you are obedient to Him He will give you the desires of your heart w/o the pain! So many people go through unnecessary agony because they feel like someone else is as good as they can get and that's it. God's got you and He knows what He's doing! Trust him (easier said then done-i know!).

FYI- Just b/c she wants to be friends now doesn't mean that rules out a more serious relationship later on, at least she has her priorities in order. In return, you should be striving that much harder in your own personal up keep. Someone else only enhances what is on the inside of you. It's best to know what is going to get enhanced before someone else is added to the equation, that's what I think anyway.
 
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MusicalMe

Guest
#4
#4
I'm still learning this lesson myself, but I've found that in order to be truly happy in a relationship, I have to be happy out of one first. If I'm not 'complete' by myself, then dating someone isn't going to fix that.

It's so hard to learn, but you've got to find a way to be happy being single.

We're young, y'all. We have our whole lives for love, marriage, and family. Let's embrace the time we have now because we're only young once (so I'm told).

And believe me, I'm saying this as much to myself as to you!
 
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Kernwarrior

Banned
#5
Jul 7, 2009
17
0
0
#5
Shes just a female, you sound horny.There cheaper than goats and sheep in the middle east. Mail order bride from Russia. There also autioned off in parts of the world .
Let the flaming begin.
truth hurts .
 
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SamIam

Guest
#6
#6
She may not be at that place right now, but whose to say it cant happen later down the road. I know its painful right now, but believe you me, that pain is gonna eventually go away. I mean sure its gonna take time and all that, but the more you dwell on it the worse its gonna feel. Im sure being around her probably sucks really bad right now, but you cant just say i give up and im not gonna work with her anymore because of certain feelings your having. Dont let them control what you do. there only feelings. If i was you, i would concentrate on something else, get my mind to something else.
 
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kapowww

Guest
#7
#7
You need to fill your mind and heart with something else so you stop thinking about her. May I suggest filling it up with God and His word?
It may feel like the end of the world at the moment but God has someone in store for you so just be patient and wait for His timing. Someone I reckon that's even more beautiful and more suitable for you!

Contrary to what Kernwarrior said women aren't cheap and are highly valued to God (and men), but trying to rephrase his rather blatant post I'd like to say "there are plenty of fish in the ocean". In addition to being fishers of men, men are also fishers of women, so if you're at that stage where you really need a woman and want to settle down, go fishing! Otherwise, if you really believe she's the one for you, keep praying and waiting.

Without pain we wouldn't know joy...
 
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JDawg

Guest
#8
#8
Hey bro I have been on the other side of what u are talking about where girls have asked me to be with them but I had to let them down easly because it was not the woman who God has for me. It was even harder to let go than getting ur heart broken from them saying no. On the other hand I have also been in ur situation also. And the anwsers are great on here. I can tell u this until u know that singleness is a gift and know why God has u single then u can move on to a relationship. Its hard at times but I thank God for taking me through all the pain and hurt because its really fine tunning me into the man of God I am suppose to be before I get my wife. Yeah we guys can fall for the girls so easy but u have to know what God is saying first. Also hanging out with girls makes it harder for us too. I dont know if u have hung out with her alone before but not a good thing. We should never be hanging out with girls alone because that always leads to something more or at least we think so. I got ur back in prayer bro! Let go and Let God! God Bless
 
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kimchi_minnie87

Guest
#9
#9
I feel for you...cheer up!:)
 
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gocards25

Guest
#10
#10
thanks jdawg...and some others on here...

Most of you have had kind words and good advice. I do go through stages where I really am ok with being single, and satisfied. The hard thing for me is knowing what God is saying to me. I have come more to being ok, not happy, but ok with the fact that I will probably never be with this girl, but I wish I knew what God was teaching me through this. I do pray that God show me the right person, and I admit I did think that she might be the right person for me. I know that this will make me stronger though...no matter what happens from here on out I have learned a little.

But guys, isnt it crazy how easy it is to fall for a girl, but how hard it is to let it go? Without God I would be so lost.
 
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arb71

Guest
#16
#16
Hi Guest...first, I know how you feel. It hurts when the feelings are not mutual. Running away from it, in this case is not taking the fool's way out. It's doing what you need to do until you allow the Lord to heal you of these feelings and emotions you have for this young lady. And I don't mean leave the church, but you don't have to work with her for now. If working with her in ministry is tearing you to pieces then move on to something else. There is nothing wrong with separating yourself. There are plenty of things to do in the church, plenty of ways to share your ministry and bless others and the church. If she asks why you are no longer working with her, just be honest. She already knows how you feel about her. Let her know that the Lord is getting you through some personal trials, you value her friendship, but you just need some space and separation to work out your soul salvation. This all effects our salvation. The devil will try to get to you through this very incident, but the Lord will get you through it, one day at a time. And remember, Jesus knows how you feel too; For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4:15-16.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#17
#17
arb71 said:
Hi Guest...first, I know how you feel. It hurts when the feelings are not mutual. Running away from it, in this case is not taking the fool's way out. It's doing what you need to do until you allow the Lord to heal you of these feelings and emotions you have for this young lady. And I don't mean leave the church, but you don't have to work with her for now. If working with her in ministry is tearing you to pieces then move on to something else. There is nothing wrong with separating yourself. There are plenty of things to do in the church, plenty of ways to share your ministry and bless others and the church. If she asks why you are no longer working with her, just be honest. She already knows how you feel about her. Let her know that the Lord is getting you through some personal trials, you value her friendship, but you just need some space and separation to work out your soul salvation. This all effects our salvation. The devil will try to get to you through this very incident, but the Lord will get you through it, one day at a time. And remember, Jesus knows how you feel too; For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4:15-16.
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*facepalm...
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#18
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
33
#18
How to get the girl out of your head:

Step one - Don't post on threads that are 4 years old.
Step two - Refer to step one.
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#19
#19
This thread is now about terrible eel jokes. Post some terrible eel jokes.
 
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