Dating... With Children.

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crellygirl

Guest
#41
#41
Hi. As a mother of three who is recently separated from her husband of 13 years, I have a few things to say about dating with children. First off in my situation things are still very new to me and my children. The last thing on my mind is dating. Since the separation was not my idea, I do recognize the fact that it needs to happen. This comes with a very heavy heart as for the first time in 11 years my family (husbands) left for a vacation to the beach this morning, without me. Luckily I volunteered to work to keep my self for feeling sorry for myself. What makes things more difficult is knowing that I did everything possible to avoid the separation. And it happened anyway which I am starting to realize is for the best. I still pray that my husband will come to his senses and give us another try, but I do wonder if I should just move on.
 
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SamIam

Guest
#42
#42
MusicalMe said:
Knowing some of the librarians I've known (my dad excluded) you probably had too much personality!!
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and THAT......... makes me feel much better... lol thanks
 
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MusicalMe

Guest
#43
#43
crellygirl said:
Hi. As a mother of three who is recently separated from her husband of 13 years, I have a few things to say about dating with children. First off in my situation things are still very new to me and my children. The last thing on my mind is dating. Since the separation was not my idea, I do recognize the fact that it needs to happen. This comes with a very heavy heart as for the first time in 11 years my family (husbands) left for a vacation to the beach this morning, without me. Luckily I volunteered to work to keep my self for feeling sorry for myself. What makes things more difficult is knowing that I did everything possible to avoid the separation. And it happened anyway which I am starting to realize is for the best. I still pray that my husband will come to his senses and give us another try, but I do wonder if I should just move on.
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Sorry to hear about that Crelly. I hope things get better for you and your family.
 
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crellygirl

Guest
#44
#44
I truly hope and pray things do get better. One thing I am reminded of is to never say never! Cause 6 months ago I never would have thought I would be hundreeds of miles away from my children for 8 days. I know that sounds silly but the youngest is 4 and we have never been apart more than a night her and there. Whewww this is tough.
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#45
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#45
crellygirl said:
I truly hope and pray things do get better. One thing I am reminded of is to never say never! Cause 6 months ago I never would have thought I would be hundreeds of miles away from my children for 8 days. I know that sounds silly but the youngest is 4 and we have never been apart more than a night her and there. Whewww this is tough.
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Really sorry to hear that Crelly :(
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#46
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#46
crellygirl said:
Hi. As a mother of three who is recently separated from her husband of 13 years, I have a few things to say about dating with children. First off in my situation things are still very new to me and my children. The last thing on my mind is dating. Since the separation was not my idea, I do recognize the fact that it needs to happen. This comes with a very heavy heart as for the first time in 11 years my family (husbands) left for a vacation to the beach this morning, without me. Luckily I volunteered to work to keep my self for feeling sorry for myself. What makes things more difficult is knowing that I did everything possible to avoid the separation. And it happened anyway which I am starting to realize is for the best. I still pray that my husband will come to his senses and give us another try, but I do wonder if I should just move on.
Click to expand...

Our situations sound very similiar, although I was not married for as long as you were. I am so sorry to hear about all of this.
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#47
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#47
crellygirl said:
I truly hope and pray things do get better. One thing I am reminded of is to never say never! Cause 6 months ago I never would have thought I would be hundreeds of miles away from my children for 8 days. I know that sounds silly but the youngest is 4 and we have never been apart more than a night her and there. Whewww this is tough.
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This does not sound silly to me at all!!! My children are 5, 6, and 7 and I have been there to the point of making myself sick.

I am going to be praying for you and your kids and your husband. If you ever need a listening ear...let me know :) Take care!
 
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incorporatestreet

Guest
#48
#48
Sharp said:
So far there is only one situation where I would make an exception, which I have described above.

If I started really liking someone that wasn't a virgin, or had kids, I would just stop.
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how would you just stop? i mean, you cant really judge a person on their past. everyone goes thru valleys... im sadly not a virgin, but i lost it at a time that i was straying from god. is that an excuse? no. do i regret it? no, bc i learned from that. i was in a valley but god brought me out of the dark into HIS light again. i still struggle, yeah but with gods help and direction anything is possible. if someone told me that they didnt want to be with me bc i wasnt a virgin, id be highly offended bc that person has no right to judge me, especially about my past...
just a thought.
 
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incorporatestreet

Guest
#49
#49
jcon83 said:
I think it has gotten to a point in dating even as adults christian or none the maturity level has dropped. I have tried dating after my spit up and it doesnt work out with any one i meet i have 2 awesome kids, so i tried dating woman with kids thinking hey it would be alot less complicated and drama free. but i was wrong. i am a complete gentleman (i was raised to treat woman with respect) and it always ends with "Your just too nice". Always. Dating has got alot stranger and confussing. I am almost to the point (even though its not what i want) of giving up on finding anyone. But it is what it is i guess.
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i think that the whole maturity level is definitely true. im 19 and i hear that im more mature than some 20some year olds... dating is also very complicated, it doesnt run smooth like you see in some movies, it takes time and effort and dedication if you really want it to work out. sometimes, no matter what you do tho it just doesnt work. i dont feel that dating is really necessary, where in the bible does it talk about dating? i believe that if you listen to god and go where he tells you and do what he says, then he will eventually lead you to your one and only. you just have to be patient and trust in him. god didnt create adam, joe, jack, eve, josie, and carol for everyone to choose from... he created adam just for eve, etc. but dont give up, just let god direct you to her. and we do need more gentlemen out there these days. :)
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#50
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#50
incorporatestreet said:
how would you just stop? i mean, you cant really judge a person on their past. everyone goes thru valleys... im sadly not a virgin, but i lost it at a time that i was straying from god. is that an excuse? no. do i regret it? no, bc i learned from that. i was in a valley but god brought me out of the dark into HIS light again. i still struggle, yeah but with gods help and direction anything is possible. if someone told me that they didnt want to be with me bc i wasnt a virgin, id be highly offended bc that person has no right to judge me, especially about my past...
just a thought.
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Oh boy, here we go again........

I'm not judging them!!!!! I don't know what else I can say to make people understand this. Just because I wouldn't date someone with children or someone who isn't a virgin, it doesn't mean I'm judging them!!! Tell me how that equates to judging them! It is simply a personal preference!!

Let me ask you this. Would you date someone who had 3 weeks to live? Would you date an assassin? Would you date someone who refused to wear clothes in public? Would you date someone who weighed 650 kilograms? Would you date a woman? I'm assuming you would answer no to all of these questions. So, not dating people who fall into these categories would be your personal preference. It doesn't mean you'd be judging them, but you would have sound reasons to not want to date them.

My personal preference is to date a Christian who is a virgin (as well as a long list of other qualities). There is nothing wrong with this. I have no obligation to anyone to choose a spouse based on 'fair' criteria. I just want to re-iterate that dating someone or refusing to date someone has nothing to do with forgiving them or not forgiving them for their past. Forgiveness of sins is for God to do, not us.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#51
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#51
Sharp said:
Oh boy, here we go again........

I'm not judging them!!!!! I don't know what else I can say to make people understand this. Just because I wouldn't date someone with children or someone who isn't a virgin, it doesn't mean I'm judging them!!! Tell me how that equates to judging them! It is simply a personal preference!!

Let me ask you this. Would you date someone who had 3 weeks to live? Would you date an assassin? Would you date someone who refused to wear clothes in public? Would you date someone who weighed 650 kilograms? Would you date a woman? I'm assuming you would answer no to all of these questions. So, not dating people who fall into these categories would be your personal preference. It doesn't mean you'd be judging them, but you would have sound reasons to not want to date them.

My personal preference is to date a Christian who is a virgin (as well as a long list of other qualities). There is nothing wrong with this. I have no obligation to anyone to choose a spouse based on 'fair' criteria. I just want to re-iterate that dating someone or refusing to date someone has nothing to do with forgiving them or not forgiving them for their past. Forgiveness of sins is for God to do, not us.
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Poor Sharp (*empathizes*). I do know what you're saying, guy...

As someone who's dated a person with children already, I would be open-minded, but VERY CAUTIOUS. Not because I'm blaming them or judging them or not forgiving them... but because, if I felt anything like I did in that relationship right off the bat (instant mommy, maid, supporter of the family), I would be GONE in half a blink because I know that for me, it wouldn't work. Maybe if it were a slower, gradual process (as in, don't introduce me to the entire family on the first date, and don't drop the kids off for me to watch them on the second.)

As for dating an assassin... um... how good are they at their job and how much do they charge... (might be handy if a boss rubs me wrong... or someone calls me a gold digger... ;))

JUST KIDDING PEOPLE!!
 
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SamIam

Guest
#52
#52
Sharp said:
Oh boy, here we go again........

I'm not judging them!!!!! I don't know what else I can say to make people understand this. Just because I wouldn't date someone with children or someone who isn't a virgin, it doesn't mean I'm judging them!!! Tell me how that equates to judging them! It is simply a personal preference!!

Let me ask you this. Would you date someone who had 3 weeks to live? Would you date an assassin? Would you date someone who refused to wear clothes in public? Would you date someone who weighed 650 kilograms? Would you date a woman? I'm assuming you would answer no to all of these questions. So, not dating people who fall into these categories would be your personal preference. It doesn't mean you'd be judging them, but you would have sound reasons to not want to date them.

My personal preference is to date a Christian who is a virgin (as well as a long list of other qualities). There is nothing wrong with this. I have no obligation to anyone to choose a spouse based on 'fair' criteria. I just want to re-iterate that dating someone or refusing to date someone has nothing to do with forgiving them or not forgiving them for their past. Forgiveness of sins is for God to do, not us.
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I totally get what your saying.... but i would also like to say that yes i would date an assassin, As well as someone that only had three weeks to live. I would also date the lion king and the woman that rides on that magic carpet, with the big blue thing.
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#53
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#53
LOL!!!

Assassins seem to be a popular choice....I feel a new thread coming on Kim...."Would YOU date an assassin?" hehe
 
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chelsers

Guest
#54
#54
What about a 650 kg. assassin? Now that could be entertaining!
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#55
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#55
Sharp said:
LOL!!!

Assassins seem to be a popular choice....I feel a new thread coming on Kim...."Would YOU date an assassin?" hehe
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Luke:

I think the official title of my thread would be, "Would You Date a Guy Who Carries a Gun On Your Dates (Because He's an Assassin.)"

:)
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#56
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#56
chelsers said:
What about a 650 kg. assassin? Now that could be entertaining!
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So... he's an assassin who carries out his work... by sitting on people? (As long as they can't match the imprint of the person to the imprint on his rear, he's home free!!) :)
 
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chelsers

Guest
#57
#57
seoulsearch said:
So... he's an assassin who carries out his work... by sitting on people? (As long as they can't match the imprint of the person to the imprint on his rear, he's home free!!) :)
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Sitting on people is one of his moves. He moves around on a cart with a big sheet over him. It's pretty intense.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#58
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#58
chelsers said:
Sitting on people is one of his moves. He moves around on a cart with a big sheet over him. It's pretty intense.
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So... he's an assassin by profession... a sumu wrestler on the weekends.. and disguises himself as Casper the Friendly Ghost when he's prowling after his latest "targets" (jobs).

That's one unique assassin, I'll tell ya! :)

Ok everyone, sorry... getting back to topic. (Um, would you date an assassin with kids???)

Just kidding!
 
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incorporatestreet

Guest
#59
#59
Forgiveness of sins is for God to do, not us.[/QUOTE]


TRUE. but god says in the bible that if we dont forgive others, then how can he forgive us..?
i do understand what youre saying tho. i was just curious. but im not the same person as i was
back then.
 
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MusicalMe

Guest
#60
#60
seoulsearch said:
So... he's an assassin by profession... a sumu wrestler on the weekends.. and disguises himself as Casper the Friendly Ghost when he's prowling after his latest "targets" (jobs).

That's one unique assassin, I'll tell ya! :)

Ok everyone, sorry... getting back to topic. (Um, would you date an assassin with kids???)

Just kidding!
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This conversation is officially terrifying and I think I may be scarred for life...
Would you date someone with emotional scars due to nightmares of obese assassins?
 
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