Hey Everyone,
I hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to compete with anyone for "Most Threads Started" (ahem, Musical, IT'S SO ON, babe!! Just kidding!), but I just wanted to say that I hope you all (especially our new users and friends to be met) are inspired by some of the trains of thought here in the forum and will feel encouraged to post and write not just your own thoughts, but also new threads of your own as well. I was actually terrified to post or (gulp) start a thread when I first started here, so don't be shy and please feel free to make your own contributions!
Ok, and now for my thread idea: have you ever received a backhanded compliment? (Something supposedly positive that's really a candy-coated poisoned apple? It's a piece of criticism or something blatantly mean that the person tries to "sweeten up" behind a supposed "compliment" or "praise".)
How, as a Christian, did you handle it? How did you respond? And what would your advice be in dealing with such "helpful" comments or advice?
Here are some examples:
*The guy who once left a note on my car that said, "You are a difficult person to like, LET ALONE love, but I do both." (Gee, isn't that sweet, let's get married immediately since no one else in their right mind would ever even consider me... Thanks, sweetheart...) NOT.
*The times I've heard, "You're kind of cute, for an Asian girl." (Makes me want to say, "Gee, you're kind of smart... for someone with less than half a brain..." but I was good!.) I would just tell them that they... needed to brush up on how to give a real compliment...
*When I was 18 and had a (white) boyfriend, some of the women I worked with had a full discussion in front of me that resulted in one saying, "No offense, Kim, but your children would look weird." (Oh my, how could I POSSIBLY be offended by that???) One woman even had the nerve to look straight at me, then my co-worked, and announce as if she were making a decree, "Oh, they could have kids... as long as they were out in the country and no one else would see them and they never took them in public."
To tell you the truth, I was so shocked that anyone would have the nerve to say that, I couldn't even say anything. I had to do A LOT (HEAPS) of praying to get over that one.
And yes, I know these things can happen to anyone--single or married--so feel free to contribute no matter what your situation... Since I've been single for a long time, I have to post my thoughts from a single frame of mind.
I hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to compete with anyone for "Most Threads Started" (ahem, Musical, IT'S SO ON, babe!! Just kidding!), but I just wanted to say that I hope you all (especially our new users and friends to be met) are inspired by some of the trains of thought here in the forum and will feel encouraged to post and write not just your own thoughts, but also new threads of your own as well. I was actually terrified to post or (gulp) start a thread when I first started here, so don't be shy and please feel free to make your own contributions!
Ok, and now for my thread idea: have you ever received a backhanded compliment? (Something supposedly positive that's really a candy-coated poisoned apple? It's a piece of criticism or something blatantly mean that the person tries to "sweeten up" behind a supposed "compliment" or "praise".)
How, as a Christian, did you handle it? How did you respond? And what would your advice be in dealing with such "helpful" comments or advice?
Here are some examples:
*The guy who once left a note on my car that said, "You are a difficult person to like, LET ALONE love, but I do both." (Gee, isn't that sweet, let's get married immediately since no one else in their right mind would ever even consider me... Thanks, sweetheart...) NOT.
*The times I've heard, "You're kind of cute, for an Asian girl." (Makes me want to say, "Gee, you're kind of smart... for someone with less than half a brain..." but I was good!
.) I would just tell them that they... needed to brush up on how to give a real compliment...*When I was 18 and had a (white) boyfriend, some of the women I worked with had a full discussion in front of me that resulted in one saying, "No offense, Kim, but your children would look weird." (Oh my, how could I POSSIBLY be offended by that???) One woman even had the nerve to look straight at me, then my co-worked, and announce as if she were making a decree, "Oh, they could have kids... as long as they were out in the country and no one else would see them and they never took them in public."
To tell you the truth, I was so shocked that anyone would have the nerve to say that, I couldn't even say anything. I had to do A LOT (HEAPS) of praying to get over that one.
And yes, I know these things can happen to anyone--single or married--so feel free to contribute no matter what your situation... Since I've been single for a long time, I have to post my thoughts from a single frame of mind.
