Is LOVE the Horse or the Carriage?? (poll)

[zeroturbulence]

We all know that the horse comes before the carriage (at least its that way on this particular planet), but from what I've seen in this forum it seems like some people would put "finding the perfect mate" ahead of trying to find love.

What I mean is that it seems like some would feel that love is simply a by-product of finding the perfect mate (a.k.a. "the right one"). In other words, finding a perfect match is more important than finding someone you love (who is less than an ideal mate).

I'd like to know what others think.. whether its more important to find a perfect match or to find love no matter how incompatible the person might seem to be.



Also...

I personally think that expecting God to bring us a perfect mate seems a bit selfish and prideful because I for one would never ever think that I deserve a perfect mate no matter how upright or successful I think I am. Maybe I am missing something here?

Why should we deserve a perfect mate from God? Please tell us.

NOTE: I'm not judging anyone. I'm simply stating how I feel about the concept.

I know I will probably regret posting this because some might be offended by it, but I don't mean to offend anyone. I believe many of us were conditioned to think about falling in love by the "prince charming and cinderella" syndrome (a fairytale perfect match).


AND... let us not forget this little fact about Prince Charming:

 

[TPK85]

Unfortunately, according to me, real love is now almost extinct. 99% of love today is based on materialism (very good appearance, type of occupation, financial wealth, social status, influences), and only 1% is still the real deal!

There is no place for the ordinary guys like me, anymore. :-(

 

[zeroturbulence]

Unfortunately, according to me, real love is now almost extinct. 99% of love today is based on materialism (very good appearance, type of occupation, financial wealth, social status, influences), and only 1% is still the real deal!

There is no place for the ordinary guys like me, anymore. :-(

I know what you mean.

 

[PopClick]

Hmm. Good question. I'm not totally sure that I want a perfect match OR true love.

But they're not so easily separated, in my mind. To me, a "perfect match" would = someone I loved. They seem very much like the same thing.
If I loved them, we would "match". And if we "matched", I would love them.

Idk if this applies to your topic or not.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hmm. Good question. I'm not totally sure that I want a perfect match OR true love.

But they're not so easily separated, in my mind. To me, a "perfect match" would = someone I loved. They seem very much like the same thing.
If I loved them, we would "match". And if we "matched", I would love them.

Idk if this applies to your topic or not.

You bring up a good point, Popclick! Someone should make a thread asking people exactly what "the perfect match" means to them.

 

[adekruif]

I think there is a major difference between a perfect mate and somebody that is 'perfect' for us. Somebody that I may find to be 'perfect' for me may not be very likable for the next guy. As far as rather having the 'perfect' person, or somebody I love I don't think it matters. I would fall in love with a 'perfect' mate and if they aren't 'perfect' if you are in love you don't notice.....so I don't think it really matters. GOD knows how to provide in all the other areas of life so I have NO doubt HE knows how to 'provide' a spouse.

And I think we deserve to ask for a 'perfect' mate from GOD because HE wants us to be happy, and without somebody that isn't 'perfect' we wouldn't be fully happy. GOD wants the best for us so HE isn't going to short us out on the love department.

 

[Jullianna]

I vote "none of the above".

As you say, people likely define this differently, but "perfect match" doesn't mean much to me. If I expect a guy to be perfect for me, then I should expect myself to be perfect for him as well, and I'm pretty sure I would never be "perfect" for anyone, not even myself.

I put more stock in compatibility, in that the strengths and weaknesses of one fit well with the strengths and weaknesses of the other, knowing full well that these things fluxuate as time goes on, life happens and, hopefully, people continue to grow in every possible way. And it's so important to support and encourage one another so that you BOTH grow and don't wander apart.

For me, there needs to be that "something else". It may work differently for others, but I don't know that I could just decide one day to "love" someone that I felt to be a good fit. There are different types of love and the type of love it would take for me to be with someone can't be forced or faked. If it's not real, not pure, not deep, I'm not interested. Life is bumpy and I want the kind of love that binds you with someone for life because I KNOW it exists.

I didn't just wake up one day and decide to love the Lord. He called to me, cared for me, led me, healed me, showed me how valuable I am to Him and touched my heart to the core. THAT's the type of love I want. That's what it means to me to be cherished.

But, again, we're all different. Don't know that it makes us wrong, just...different.

 

[phil36]

I think to answer the question we need to understand what love is? any answers?

 

[GreenNnice]

We all know that the horse comes before the carriage (at least its that way on this particular planet), but from what I've seen in this forum it seems like some people would put "finding the perfect mate" ahead of trying to find love.

What I mean is that it seems like some would feel that love is simply a by-product of finding the perfect mate (a.k.a. "the right one"). In other words, finding a perfect match is more important than finding someone you love (who is less than an ideal mate).

I'd like to know what others think.. whether its more important to find a perfect match or to find love no matter how incompatible the person might seem to be.



Also...

I personally think that expecting God to bring us a perfect mate seems a bit selfish and prideful because I for one would never ever think that I deserve a perfect mate no matter how upright or successful I think I am. Maybe I am missing something here?

Why should we deserve a perfect mate from God? Please tell us.

NOTE: I'm not judging anyone. I'm simply stating how I feel about the concept.

I know I will probably regret posting this because some might be offended by it, but I don't mean to offend anyone. I believe many of us were conditioned to think about falling in love by the "prince charming and cinderella" syndrome (a fairytale perfect match).


AND... let us not forget this little fact about Prince Charming:

Much wisdom ^

Good, zere, Christbro.

 

[GreenNnice]

I think there is a major difference between a perfect mate and somebody that is 'perfect' for us. Somebody that I may find to be 'perfect' for me may not be very likable for the next guy. As far as rather having the 'perfect' person, or somebody I love I don't think it matters. I would fall in love with a 'perfect' mate and if they aren't 'perfect' if you are in love you don't notice.....so I don't think it really matters. GOD knows how to provide in all the other areas of life so I have NO doubt HE knows how to 'provide' a spouse.

And I think we deserve to ask for a 'perfect' mate from GOD because HE wants us to be happy, and without somebody that isn't 'perfect' we wouldn't be fully happy. GOD wants the best for us so HE isn't going to short us out on the love department.

Good points, AidK, yes, we do deserve to ask God for a 'perfect' mate for us, someone perfect for our strengths and weaknesses made most productive for His glory. Right,, doing things in our life should be built around,serving, pleasing, His leading. But....

...after we ask God for a perfect girl, so to speak, we need to then accept what God gives.

With 'ask in My name and ye shall receive' verse, God does not necessarily give us what we asked for, but what is 'perfect.' We need to not then question God's choice for us, as large-fonted words say, in zere's OP.We should be happy, filled with joy, rather of what 'love' God puts in our life.

 

[adekruif]

Good points, AidK, yes, we do deserve to ask God for a 'perfect' mate for us, someone perfect for our strengths and weaknesses made most productive for His glory. Right,, doing things in our life should be built around,serving, pleasing, His leading. But....

...after we ask God for a perfect girl, so to speak, we need to then accept what God gives.

With 'ask in My name and ye shall receive' verse, God does not necessarily give us what we asked for, but what is 'perfect.' We need to not then question God's choice for us, as large-fonted words say, in zere's OP.We should be happy, filled with joy, rather of what 'love' God puts in our life.

I am confident that the girl that GOD chooses for me will be 'perfect' for me. I'm not saying she will be perfect, but ya know GOD is pretty good at this matchmaking thing....HE knows far better than me what is best for me....in other words what I am trying to say is that the girl that GOD chooses will be perfect for me because HE chose her for me. Make sense?

 

[Liamson]

I vote "none of the above".

As you say, people likely define this differently, but "perfect match" doesn't mean much to me. If I expect a guy to be perfect for me, then I should expect myself to be perfect for him as well, and I'm pretty sure I would never be "perfect" for anyone, not even myself.

I put more stock in compatibility, in that the strengths and weaknesses of one fit well with the strengths and weaknesses of the other, knowing full well that these things fluxuate as time goes on, life happens and, hopefully, people continue to grow in every possible way. And it's so important to support and encourage one another so that you BOTH grow and don't wander apart.

For me, there needs to be that "something else". It may work differently for others, but I don't know that I could just decide one day to "love" someone that I felt to be a good fit. There are different types of love and the type of love it would take for me to be with someone can't be forced or faked. If it's not real, not pure, not deep, I'm not interested. Life is bumpy and I want the kind of love that binds you with someone for life because I KNOW it exists.

I didn't just wake up one day and decide to love the Lord. He called to me, cared for me, led me, healed me, showed me how valuable I am to Him and touched my heart to the core. THAT's the type of love I want. That's what it means to me to be cherished.

But, again, we're all different. Don't know that it makes us wrong, just...different.

Um, I'm just going to copy this and call say Ditto.

 

[GreenNnice]

I am confident that the girl that GOD chooses for me will be 'perfect' for me. I'm not saying she will be perfect, but ya know GOD is pretty good at this matchmaking thing....HE knows far better than me what is best for me....in other words what I am trying to say is that the girl that GOD chooses will be perfect for me because HE chose her for me. Make sense?

Yes, AidK, perfect scents, like the fragrande after the rain

(if you don' t know the song, google: Something About That Name.'

I went 'old hymnal' on ya, Christ bro

 

[Oncefallen]

I'm with Liamson on this one, Jullianna put it better than I could have.

**grumbles about Jullianna always getting the good posts

 

[Jullianna]

^says the guy who gets to edit as much as he wants ^

 

[zander]

Zan would never dare pretend to know what a perfect fit would be. Only God knows what that is. Only God knows the purposes he has for those that trust him. Some may be blessed in some ways, others in others, just as other aspects in life. The thing is to be where God wants us to be doing what he wants us to do with whom he wants us to do it with. God is not a random God he is purposeful in all he does. Most look at romance through the eyes of human wisdom.
Zan believes it's bigger than that. Zan wonders how most people would define compatibility

 

[Jullianna]

How would you define it?

 

[Oncefallen]

^says the guy who gets to edit as much as he wants ^

Jealous? Thou shalt not covet thy Administrators controls, thou shalt not covet his edit button or his delete button.

Sure, I may edit my posts just like everyone else, but if I know I've gone well beyond the "normal" edit time I clarify in a follow up post just like everyone else has to just to be fair.

 

[zander]

Zan asked first

 

[arwen7]

We all know that the horse comes before the carriage (at least its that way on this particular planet), but from what I've seen in this forum it seems like some people would put "finding the perfect mate" ahead of trying to find love.

What I mean is that it seems like some would feel that love is simply a by-product of finding the perfect mate (a.k.a. "the right one"). In other words, finding a perfect match is more important than finding someone you love (who is less than an ideal mate).

I'd like to know what others think.. whether its more important to find a perfect match or to find love no matter how incompatible the person might seem to be.



Also...

I personally think that expecting God to bring us a perfect mate seems a bit selfish and prideful because I for one would never ever think that I deserve a perfect mate no matter how upright or successful I think I am. Maybe I am missing something here?

Why should we deserve a perfect mate from God? Please tell us.

NOTE: I'm not judging anyone. I'm simply stating how I feel about the concept.

I know I will probably regret posting this because some might be offended by it, but I don't mean to offend anyone. I believe many of us were conditioned to think about falling in love by the "prince charming and cinderella" syndrome (a fairytale perfect match).


AND... let us not forget this little fact about Prince Charming:

Haha! I love the prince charming picture, it gives a realistic picture of the fariytale. Lame Made me giggle.
I can't say one or the other (love or perfect mate), I think they kind of go hand in hand for me. And think that we're not perfect, but perfect for each other. The ideal mate is different for everyone, but its doubtful that we'll find someone that exhibits all those ideal characteristics. For me it's all about chemistry and the connection I feel with someone.