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I posted this on a different forum yesterday, but would be so blessed if I could get your thoughts.
This is a slightly lengthy one because I want to include as much info as possible. I am a born again Christian, dating a guy who is saved as well. We connect, and we're sure we want to be married. However, I think we've hit a crossroads and do not seem to be on the same page spiritually. I have trouble being politically correct, and even when I try, somehow my writing does not seem to come off as having tact or grace, so I'll ask that you please try to see my heart and understand that I am not trying to be mean or speaking out of pride.
There are two major issues. Firstly, I am not attracted to this man, physically speaking. I am not repulsed by him, but I cannot help but worry what people will say and my friends have this thing about predicting if the children will be cute and all (very shallow, but it bothers me).
However, this would not be such an issue if it were not for the spiritual aspect. He is a Christian in that he believes in God and believes Jesus Christ is Lord. However, he seems reluctant to read the Bible, and seems to have embraced this new-ageish Christianity where we love all people (very Biblical) and accept all beliefs (unbiblical). He seems to think speaking out against any other religion is judging. "Jesus accepted all people," he told me yesterday. "Yes," i responded, "but he did not accept their sin; He told the woman caught in adultery to sin no more; He called the Pharisees hypocrites, He healed a man and said 'Sin no more, so that a worse illness does not befall you.' " (I paraphrase this last one, and I'm not even 100% sure it was a man, but I can find the verse.) I do not know if he takes the Bible at face value. He is very educated in the worldly sense and I wonder if that does not affect his view of spiritual things.
I know my Bible; my friends say it's intimidating but I credit that to learning to read early. He knows mostly just the general stories; David and Goliath, Moses and the Red Sea, etc. I like to discuss scripture; I think he has trouble doing this, might be because he does not KNOW scripture. I want a man I can worship and praise and pray with. We do pray together often, but we have also compromised sexually, even though we have not gone all the way. I take full responsibility for my role in that. He is a great guy; we connect, we see many things the same way, but I desire for CHRIST to be our all in all and I feel like that's not it. Yet again, I feel like God led me to him, AND I am wondering if this is an unequal yoke. I'm more Courson, DeMoss, Driscoll, Baucham, Piper, with a pinch of what he listens to; he's more Jakes, Osteen, Meyer, with a pinch of what I listen to. Now that I look at it, that sorta seems unequal to me (LOL) but hey. We are of the same view on the prosperity gospel, as well as, quite importantly, the basics, crucials, of Christian doctrine.
Anyway, to my point. My question is, can he lead me spiritually? How do I go about asking or encouraging him to get involved in Bible study and prayer and scripture with me, for himself as well, without changing him? How can we involve mentors or spiritual leaders in our relationship, to keep us accountable? Should I end this relationship? We're discussing getting married within a year; I'm in my late 20s, he's early 30s...
Advice, please?
Congratulations on making it to the end of this post
and thank you all so much in advance for your thoughts.
This is a slightly lengthy one because I want to include as much info as possible. I am a born again Christian, dating a guy who is saved as well. We connect, and we're sure we want to be married. However, I think we've hit a crossroads and do not seem to be on the same page spiritually. I have trouble being politically correct, and even when I try, somehow my writing does not seem to come off as having tact or grace, so I'll ask that you please try to see my heart and understand that I am not trying to be mean or speaking out of pride.
There are two major issues. Firstly, I am not attracted to this man, physically speaking. I am not repulsed by him, but I cannot help but worry what people will say and my friends have this thing about predicting if the children will be cute and all (very shallow, but it bothers me).
However, this would not be such an issue if it were not for the spiritual aspect. He is a Christian in that he believes in God and believes Jesus Christ is Lord. However, he seems reluctant to read the Bible, and seems to have embraced this new-ageish Christianity where we love all people (very Biblical) and accept all beliefs (unbiblical). He seems to think speaking out against any other religion is judging. "Jesus accepted all people," he told me yesterday. "Yes," i responded, "but he did not accept their sin; He told the woman caught in adultery to sin no more; He called the Pharisees hypocrites, He healed a man and said 'Sin no more, so that a worse illness does not befall you.' " (I paraphrase this last one, and I'm not even 100% sure it was a man, but I can find the verse.) I do not know if he takes the Bible at face value. He is very educated in the worldly sense and I wonder if that does not affect his view of spiritual things.
I know my Bible; my friends say it's intimidating but I credit that to learning to read early. He knows mostly just the general stories; David and Goliath, Moses and the Red Sea, etc. I like to discuss scripture; I think he has trouble doing this, might be because he does not KNOW scripture. I want a man I can worship and praise and pray with. We do pray together often, but we have also compromised sexually, even though we have not gone all the way. I take full responsibility for my role in that. He is a great guy; we connect, we see many things the same way, but I desire for CHRIST to be our all in all and I feel like that's not it. Yet again, I feel like God led me to him, AND I am wondering if this is an unequal yoke. I'm more Courson, DeMoss, Driscoll, Baucham, Piper, with a pinch of what he listens to; he's more Jakes, Osteen, Meyer, with a pinch of what I listen to. Now that I look at it, that sorta seems unequal to me (LOL) but hey. We are of the same view on the prosperity gospel, as well as, quite importantly, the basics, crucials, of Christian doctrine.
Anyway, to my point. My question is, can he lead me spiritually? How do I go about asking or encouraging him to get involved in Bible study and prayer and scripture with me, for himself as well, without changing him? How can we involve mentors or spiritual leaders in our relationship, to keep us accountable? Should I end this relationship? We're discussing getting married within a year; I'm in my late 20s, he's early 30s...
Advice, please?
Congratulations on making it to the end of this post
You are the best judge.