male/female communication

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
I've spent a couple of days reading threads new and old, and I've noticed something. When the ladies post, we tend to use more words in an attempt to soften our meanings and responses. Guys don't seem to do this. They cut to the chase. When the ladies cut to the chase, it is sometimes perceived as snarky by readers, even if it wasn't intended as such.


Another thing I noticed is that women can say something and all of the ladies get it. A few posts later, one of the guys will say the same thing in one or two sentences and all of the sudden the guys get it too...like the guy just said the smartest thing ever. :)


Has anyone else noticed this? Why do you think this is?
 
N

nw2u

Guest
#2
#2
While I don't like making general statements about either sex, I do believe that some differences in men and women were designed to be complimentary.

God wired men's and women's brains differently.

Hee Hee....Hey, are my horns showing?
 
M

MYRedeemedinJC

Guest
#3
#3
I don't know.. It must be true tho! :D!
 
P

Perk

Guest
#4
#4
Agreed Jullianna. Its interesting. I wonder if it is because of gender differences or because of social stereotypes.
 
N

nw2u

Guest
#5
#5
I think it is because we get lazy when we are with people we think we know and trust.(I apologize for generalizing.)
It's really too bad because when I do that, I am not showing empathy toward my fellow man/woman.
I know what I mean when I say or write something, but without a little explanation and some kind words, I'm misunderstood.
 
JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#6
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#6
nw2u said:
While I don't like making general statements about either sex, I do believe that some differences in men and women were designed to be complimentary.

God wired men's and women's brains differently.

Hee Hee....Hey, are my horns showing?
Click to expand...
Wow, that's the smartest thing ever, women and men are different! I get it now, I don't know what Jullianna was trying to say with her post.

Is that what you don't like, Jullianna? :p
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#7
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#7
Solution: we create a universal language!
 
JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#8
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#8
And, to answer your question seriously, Jullianna, I have noticed people misunderstanding other people, but not so much what you describe. I seem to (mis)understand both genders equally, but I also have a tendency to not notice subtle nuances of people's posts.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#11
Jan 15, 2011
6,030
3,261
113
#11
I think some of it comes down to knowledge of the person and their heart. Just to use you as an example Jullianna, I've seen people come down on you for posts that you've made that I look at and wonder what set them off. I think that someone who truly understands someone else's heart will understand what they say in light of that knowledge.

Some of it likewise comes from preconceptions. For example, a man that perceived his mother as being short and snippy is more prone to perceive all women that way.

Of course we can't forget they typical differences in how the genders communicate. I think for the most part a man is more likely to understand what is spoken in XY versus what is spoken in XX, and a woman is more likely to understand what is spoken in XX than what is spoken in XY.

I have noticed that some people will readily misunderstand only what certain people say in which case I chalk that up to personal conflict.
 
O

oracle2world

Guest
#12
#12
vive la différence !
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#13
#13
Its because men think, and communicate directly, its how our brains are wired. They want to say what they have to say and be done.
Women, on the other hand, are more verbal, they enjoy the act of communicating, and tend to speak less directly, instead relying on other cues to get their ideas across. But men are not designed to pick up these subtleties and don't care to talk it out and elongate the conversation more then needed.
I think also men need less assurance their being heard. Whereas when a woman talks, she likes to know what shes saying is being heard, understood and absorbed. So man will hear her, get what she says, or think he does, and grunt his understanding, meanwhile she's waiting for her to look into her eyes and say 'i understand exactly what you mean'. haha

I think one of the best examples of women speaking in cues and clues and not being direct happened to me years ago when i first started going online. My first experience online led me to meet Christine, we hit it off, we met in person a few times, talked on the phone, we developed a romantic interest, but we never fully developed it. Anyways, one of my visits to see her we went for a walk and ended up in a small apartment park sitting on swings chatting, it was a nice night, she was cute as ever. We'd spent all day together and think we were feeling closer than usual. I had this desire to kiss her, we never had before, but hey, i'm a big wuss, then we got interrupted before i could do anything. A few days later we were talking on the phone and i had mentioned i had wanted to kiss her when we were last together. She said she had wanted me to, also, and 'had told me with her eyes'. :confused: Really, with her eyes? I so wanted to snap on her right then haha. But thats women. Often not so direct. And men, need direct.

So when a woman communicates something, other women get it because they all have the same code book and can understand it. When a man grasps it, he lays it out plainly an the men get it.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#14
#14
Oncefallen said:
I think some of it comes down to knowledge of the person and their heart. Just to use you as an example Jullianna, I've seen people come down on you for posts that you've made that I look at and wonder what set them off. I think that someone who truly understands someone else's heart will understand what they say in light of that knowledge.

Some of it likewise comes from preconceptions. For example, a man that perceived his mother as being short and snippy is more prone to perceive all women that way.

Of course we can't forget they typical differences in how the genders communicate. I think for the most part a man is more likely to understand what is spoken in XY versus what is spoken in XX, and a woman is more likely to understand what is spoken in XX than what is spoken in XY.

I have noticed that some people will readily misunderstand only what certain people say in which case I chalk that up to personal conflict.
Click to expand...
I think THAT kind of miscommunication is probably intentional and can usually only be accomplished by people who are willing to add to/subtract from/twist what you actually said. I think most people who frequent these forums are smart enough to see that sort of thing for what it is, you know?

It doesn't surprise or bother me if someone disagrees with me. It does surprise me if they feel the need to be a jerk about it. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#16
#16
JimJimmers said:
Wow, that's the smartest thing ever, women and men are different! I get it now, I don't know what Jullianna was trying to say with her post.

Is that what you don't like, Jullianna? :p
Click to expand...
haha

I'm not saying I don't like it. :) It's just an observation, that's all. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#17
#17
Ritter said:
If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.

-Albert Einstein :p

Or more absurd: Women learn to talk like men.
Click to expand...
Then we'd be snarky :D
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#18
#18
Ugly said:
Its because men think, and communicate directly, its how our brains are wired. They want to say what they have to say and be done.
Women, on the other hand, are more verbal, they enjoy the act of communicating, and tend to speak less directly, instead relying on other cues to get their ideas across. But men are not designed to pick up these subtleties and don't care to talk it out and elongate the conversation more then needed.
I think also men need less assurance their being heard. Whereas when a woman talks, she likes to know what shes saying is being heard, understood and absorbed. So man will hear her, get what she says, or think he does, and grunt his understanding, meanwhile she's waiting for her to look into her eyes and say 'i understand exactly what you mean'. haha

I think one of the best examples of women speaking in cues and clues and not being direct happened to me years ago when i first started going online. My first experience online led me to meet Christine, we hit it off, we met in person a few times, talked on the phone, we developed a romantic interest, but we never fully developed it. Anyways, one of my visits to see her we went for a walk and ended up in a small apartment park sitting on swings chatting, it was a nice night, she was cute as ever. We'd spent all day together and think we were feeling closer than usual. I had this desire to kiss her, we never had before, but hey, i'm a big wuss, then we got interrupted before i could do anything. A few days later we were talking on the phone and i had mentioned i had wanted to kiss her when we were last together. She said she had wanted me to, also, and 'had told me with her eyes'. :confused: Really, with her eyes? I so wanted to snap on her right then haha. But thats women. Often not so direct. And men, need direct.

So when a woman communicates something, other women get it because they all have the same code book and can understand it. When a man grasps it, he lays it out plainly an the men get it.
Click to expand...
I love you for using more words than I did, Ugly :D
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#19
Jan 15, 2011
6,030
3,261
113
#19
Jullianna said:
I think THAT kind of miscommunication is probably intentional and can usually only be accomplished by people who are willing to add to/subtract from/twist what you actually said. I think most people who frequent these forums are smart enough to see that sort of thing for what it is, you know?

It doesn't surprise or bother me if someone disagrees with me. It does surprise me if they feel the need to be a jerk about it. :)
Click to expand...
My aren't we being snarky this evening? :p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.