We spend so much time as Christians trying to sort out the linearity of God's involvement in our lives and those of others, forgeting in that rationalization that God is not a linear being. The conversation is the same as for predestination. Here is what I KNOW:
God knows all things, including which decisiona I will make and when... whether they are right or wrong.
God knew I would choose Him before the foundations of the earth (linearly speaking).
God knows who (if anyone) I will end up marrying.
God has planned and orchestrated circumnstances in my life to teach me lessons and bring me closer to Him in the past, including positioning people and events in perfect order and culminations to make those lessons happen.
I am confident, that based on these things; being that he knows all outcomes and knows what will happen; that He speaks about the "future" as though it as has already happened, and speaks about the sacrifice of Jesus having been made before the foundation of the earth; because He says we are predestined to conform to the fullness of the stature of Christ, and because He says He knows the plans He has for us, to proseper us; and because He is my portion and my cup -the boundaries of my life have fallen onto pleasant places.. known before I even live it out..
I believe that God has stacked the deck of my life for His purposes.. including the people I encounter for ministry, the people I encounter to lift me up... and the ones I fall in love with.. and the ONE I will marry, if any.
God has proven to me over and over that He is not a God of observance.. He is a God of CONSTANT involvement in ALL aspects of His creation. The very laws of physics scream this. The fact that we are perfectly balanced as a planet, allowing life here... the fact that our existance has been protected against the inumerable dangers of the universe.. but more importantly, the fact that I can commune with Him... talk with Him, that he listens to prayer and answers.. that He still does miracles..
To say that things go on as He sits on the side-lines is rediculous to me. I know that He has given us "free will", but that doesn't mean that He is not in it.
I know that when she comes into my life, it will be HIS doing, not mine.. I may have goen through the motions, but they are HIS motions that make it happen. Same with success. Same with spiritual gifts and talent. He will recieve all glory in my perspective. Even if I'm wrong in this, I will glorify Him if I maintain this view. I am perfectly capable of doing the unrighteous thing, or even the right thing without His direction, yet the plan turns out the same in the end. The events of my life are "predestined" in the sense that to God, my end is everybit as clear and known as my beginning, and every step inbetween. How it happens may be "up to me", but it is already as good as done. I pray that along the way, I will learn quickly and act faithfully. I can't wrap my mind around how it works, but the only thing that matters in my mind is to give God the credit that he's due, which is more than just a Glorified Life Guard in the pool of life. That's my two cents.