THE One or A One?

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I believe that...

  • There is only ONE right person for me

    Votes: 6 31.6%
  • There's any number of 'right' people for me

    Votes: 12 63.2%
  • Other (please specify)

    Votes: 1 5.3%

  • Total voters
    19
M

MusicalMe

Guest
#1
So do you believe there is only ONE right person for you?
Or do you think it's about compatability and making it work?
 

Sharp

Senior Member
May 5, 2009
2,565
19
38
#2
I think there are a number of people that each person could successfully establish a satisfactory marriage with. Obviously some people would be more compatible than others for each individual. However, I don't think that spouses are predestined. God knows who we are going to end up with, but I don't think He picks them out for us.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,580
113
#3
I am undecided about this... I've heard it said that God may have a number of people who would be right for you, depending on your own choices in life... but I'm not sure. This was said to me as just a hunch--it's obviously not solidified in Scripture, as far as I know.

But I do like the idea of having possible options :). (BEFORE getting married, NOT AFTER!! Just wanted to make myself clear.)
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#4
I want to believe that god is in every detail of your life. even up to the person you are going to marry, however, im not sure i believe that anymore. I had these two friends... we were thirteen years old.. the guys name was andrew the girls name was katie... well anyways we were all friends and they had the same dream the same exact night (we found this out later) that they were gonna get married. I dont think thats a coincidence.. So they get married when there 22 i think.. well he ended up leaving her and there two kids because he was bi polar.. and they got a divorce...... god putting them together or not... i dont know...........
 
G

GodIsMightyToSave

Guest
#5
There are many right people for me and I believe God has given me a choice - but I want to honour Him and make Him a part of that choice.
 
D

Derek

Guest
#6
I dont know if there is "the one", but whoever you end up marrying....they are "the one".
 
A

Asaki

Guest
#7
There are many ones- the idea of there being just the one is a wordly romantic perception which we should keenly avoid.
 

polarguyinak

Moderator
Staff member
Jan 30, 2009
143
9
18
#8
We spend so much time as Christians trying to sort out the linearity of God's involvement in our lives and those of others, forgeting in that rationalization that God is not a linear being. The conversation is the same as for predestination. Here is what I KNOW:

God knows all things, including which decisiona I will make and when... whether they are right or wrong.
God knew I would choose Him before the foundations of the earth (linearly speaking).
God knows who (if anyone) I will end up marrying.
God has planned and orchestrated circumnstances in my life to teach me lessons and bring me closer to Him in the past, including positioning people and events in perfect order and culminations to make those lessons happen.

I am confident, that based on these things; being that he knows all outcomes and knows what will happen; that He speaks about the "future" as though it as has already happened, and speaks about the sacrifice of Jesus having been made before the foundation of the earth; because He says we are predestined to conform to the fullness of the stature of Christ, and because He says He knows the plans He has for us, to proseper us; and because He is my portion and my cup -the boundaries of my life have fallen onto pleasant places.. known before I even live it out..

I believe that God has stacked the deck of my life for His purposes.. including the people I encounter for ministry, the people I encounter to lift me up... and the ones I fall in love with.. and the ONE I will marry, if any.

God has proven to me over and over that He is not a God of observance.. He is a God of CONSTANT involvement in ALL aspects of His creation. The very laws of physics scream this. The fact that we are perfectly balanced as a planet, allowing life here... the fact that our existance has been protected against the inumerable dangers of the universe.. but more importantly, the fact that I can commune with Him... talk with Him, that he listens to prayer and answers.. that He still does miracles..
To say that things go on as He sits on the side-lines is rediculous to me. I know that He has given us "free will", but that doesn't mean that He is not in it.
I know that when she comes into my life, it will be HIS doing, not mine.. I may have goen through the motions, but they are HIS motions that make it happen. Same with success. Same with spiritual gifts and talent. He will recieve all glory in my perspective. Even if I'm wrong in this, I will glorify Him if I maintain this view. I am perfectly capable of doing the unrighteous thing, or even the right thing without His direction, yet the plan turns out the same in the end. The events of my life are "predestined" in the sense that to God, my end is everybit as clear and known as my beginning, and every step inbetween. How it happens may be "up to me", but it is already as good as done. I pray that along the way, I will learn quickly and act faithfully. I can't wrap my mind around how it works, but the only thing that matters in my mind is to give God the credit that he's due, which is more than just a Glorified Life Guard in the pool of life. That's my two cents. :)
 
S

spokenfor316

Guest
#9
Well if there is only one person out there for someone to marry, then if one person marries the wrong person - doesn't that screw it up for everybody else??? LOL That's what one of my profs at school always says :D
 
G

Goobywooby

Guest
#10
Well if there is only one person out there for someone to marry, then if one person marries the wrong person - doesn't that screw it up for everybody else??? LOL That's what one of my profs at school always says :D
That is why I am still single. Someone has stuffed it up for me by marrying the wrong person :)
 

polarguyinak

Moderator
Staff member
Jan 30, 2009
143
9
18
#11
Well if there is only one person out there for someone to marry, then if one person marries the wrong person - doesn't that screw it up for everybody else??? LOL That's what one of my profs at school always says :D
I didn't say there weren't couples who married into relationships that were wrong for eachother. Didn't even say that everyone has someone to marry. I just said i believe there is a distinct, known-by-God plan for my life and yours. That includes who I will marry - even, heaven forbit, if I lost a marriage and married again. I'm just saying that I don't need to worry about it. I don't need to fret over how it will happen or the details, or rack my brain figuring out the "right" way to search in trying to make it happen because I'm too lonely and I want it now.''

Not saying you can't keep your eyes out for that one, or that you can't search. I just think the general mentality of people who make a living out of searching for a soulmate is that they feel a need to make things work out how they picture it - and are, in fact, emotionally bound to do so - and generally distrust God to handle things. This can be evident in other parts of their lives as well, but the symptoms are abundantly clear when it comes to the spousal search. I'm just emphasizing that your priority should be a focus on developing a more trusting relationship with God, personally. You can meet someone along that road quite easily, and your motivations will make your realationship a LOT stronger and more Christ centered than if the potential mate is your focus (so you can get to know God together later). What you do in the mean time is between you and God. Just to clarify.
 
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#12
Once you are married that person you marry becomes the right person for life. No there's not one person specially created just for you unless God has decided to do that just for you. Sometimes God does want two specific individuals to be together for His purposes and may do everything in His power to make that happen.

But for the majority of us no I don't think the God who said He knows every hair on our head and will provide our every needs, namely food and clothing, leaves such important decisions to mere chance and coincidence and human and carnal understandings!

Yes there are probably thousands of people you could choose and be happy with if you want to live a menial existance and don't think your Father in Heaven cares about these things in your life. You could take a lucky guess and choose someone (if only it was that easy).

Or you could get your Heavenly Father's opinion and ask Him!

Our choice. Our decision, our consequences. But if you go with God there's less chance that you are setting yourself up for a big failure down the track. A big part of that is using common sense and wisdom from the bible. Don't marry an unbeliever etc.
But hey, God can change His mind too, don't forget about that. Suppose He has one person in mind and they decided to marry someone else because they don't bother to listen to God. Or maybe you grew a bit wart on your nose and suddenly they are turned off. No big deal, God will find someone else for you I'm sure.

At the end of the day what is marriage about really? It's about going forth and multiplying, it's about having babies. It's a natural and human thing and we tend to spiritualise it so much and about finding the "right" person it's crazy. But at the same time God wouldn't want us to end up in a bad situation down the track so He knows what is best for us.

For myself I'd like to marry someone who at least acknowledges God in every detail in their life. That they've been praying and thinking about it beforehand. But if they are a Christian but are just waiting to pounce at the first Christian guy who shows interest in them that is really a turn off to me. It indicates they don't truly care about God's will for their life and they probably are not very committed.
 
B

BlueNote

Guest
#13
the right one is the one that becomes the right one
 
M

mashaaa

Guest
#14
THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON FOR ME.WHEN GOD CREATED ADAM IN GENESIS,A TIME CAME AND GOD SAID"IT IS NOT GOOD FOR A MAN TO LIVE ALONE I AM GOIN TO MAKE A HELPER FOR HIM".SO OUT OF THIS GOD MADE ADAM TO FALL INTO A DEEP SLEEP AND HE MADE EVE.WHEN ADAM AROSE FROM SLEEP HE WAS HAPPY AND SAID"THIS IS BONES OF MY BONES AND FLESH OF MY FLESH AND SHE SHALL BE CALLED WOMAN.THE POINT IS THIS GOD DID NOT CREAT HELPERS FOR MAN BUT A HELPER,ALSO THAT HELPER CAME OUT OF MAN THEREFORE ONE PERSON IS MEANT F0R ME WHO IS GOING TO MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE.WHEN SHE WILL COME TO MY CLOSET I WILL BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY SIMPLY SHE IS FROM MY FLESH.THIS WILL BE EVIDENT TO HER SINCE IT WILL BE DIFFICULY TO DENY YOUR OWN FLESH.
 
T

thefightinglamb

Guest
#15
Wanted to be a bit humurous but if there is just 1 right women, and Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever...then people like David, Soloman, and Jacob must have stolen the wives of thousands of guys...must have stunk to have your wife snatched by a king, thousands of guys must have been walking around with their tail between their legs, condemned to singlehood...

What is 'the right one' 's response to the many wives in the old testament...I remember a movie that said sometimes there's many girls for one guy--which seems to be true based on the Old Testament...but sorry girls you only have one guy.

God bless
tony
 

sweetnshy

Senior Member
Sep 10, 2003
219
4
18
#16
I voted Other, because I don't think there's anyone for me. :p
 
M

Marisa

Guest
#17
I'm believing & trusting God for my Godly-husband; A man who findeth a wife findeth a good thing.
 
K

kessy001

Guest
#18
So do you believe there is only ONE right person for you?
Or do you think it's about compatability and making it work?
In my opinion it's a two stage thing. I believe there's more than one right person for everyone while we are at the searching stage. But once we cross over to the married stage (say I DO), your spouse automatically becomes the right person for you. And it's for life. Just like you work out your salvation, you must work out your marriage till Jesus comes.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
#19
Love your answer, Kessy!


I thought A One was a steak sauce.
 
K

kessy001

Guest
#20
Thanks Zero. LOL @ steak sauce.