God's One for you, or the one you want for yourself

[milagra]

This has been debated many times. How do you know if the guy/girl you are with is actually what God has for you? Or do people not even care and just go based off of feelings?

I was recently engaged to someone and the more I prayed about it the more unsettling I became about marrying this guy. Then one day I prayed and asked God if this in fact was not the one for me, for him to remove the guy out of my life. and That is exactly what he did.

Im not sure about everyone else, but I want a knowing from GOD as to who my husband is because marriage to me is not just for the two of us. It is designed for ministry and to please God. My husband must be able to support the vision that GOD gave me and vice versa.

what are your takes on this???

 

[seoulsearch]

This is an excellent question that yes, is brought up many times here in the Singles Forum, and with good reason, of course.

While I'm not sure of the exact answer to this (I really don't know if there is one--I think that it might work a little differently for different people--for example, my mentor from my old church is in an arranged marriage and they have managed to work it out, so I guess in that case, God influenced the hearts of the parents to choose the right person for each of them), I do have a basic "game plan."

If I were to start seriously dating someone, I would (with his permission) introduce him to my family, senior pastors, mentor, and children's pastors, because I'm close with all of them and trust their prayers and judgment (and I would expect that he would want to introduce me to his family and connections at church as well.)

I know there may be differences. But... depending on the general consensus of the God-fearing people we both know... I would think we could come to a fairly accurate decision on whether God would bless us in a marriage or not. If there were disagreements, I'd have to see what they were (for example, "He dresses funny," would not count, in my opinion) and go from there.

I don't have it all worked out (or even a potential date!!) but I hope to learn from past mistakes and seek other's counsel. The Bible says there is safety in wise counsel and in a multitude of counselors... and I've learned for myself that anyone who would be unwilling to meet these important people in my life (or introduce me to his connections as well) is definitely not someone whom God has chosen for me.

 

[Remmy]

this is a very good topic.im sort of going through the same things.after i became a christian i broke up with my boyfriend because he was not a christian..i had mixed feelings on it though so i prayed to god to give a sign that we should be toghter or break up..well,i caught him lying to me about bringin a girl to his friend and than he got physical with me...i forgave him and went with him again and prayed to god again for antother sign and i saw him hand in hand with this girl at a club..he said she took his hand in the crowd cuz she was lookin for his friend and he wanted to show her wher he was and in the busy crowd she grabbed his hand..so we break up again and guess what..6months later he tells me he's saved and than we started to talk and i told him about the times i messed up and slept around(before i was saved),we both cried and said that we needed to forgive each other for the mistakes..when i started to forgive him i started to love him again..i asked god what he wanted buti didnt get an answer so i went with him again...
soo now we are togheter...i know im changed beacause god savedme but im scared that he's just pretending to be saved just to be with me again.so we fight alot..i have been controlling and verbally and mentall abusing him alot which drives him crazy.i just dont think we are ready to be together yet.i mean even if its really true that hes saved. i think we still need to heal from the past and then we need to work on our relationship with the lord..i belive that if ur relationship with the lord is not right than how will u have a relationship with someone else?
it is hard to let go since he is alwayas begging me not leave him,we also have a son together which makes it even harder to break up.
i really dunno what to do....its wearing me down..i wanna give us a chance,we both made our mistakes and if hes truly saved than we are 2 new people made in the imgae of god.
what im doing right now is working om my relationship with the lord and not worry aboout what he is doing because god cant get through to me if im not treating my bf right.so i need to change..
what is ur opinion on this milagra? has anyone been in a similar situation?since i dont have anyone to talk to about this all replies would help me alot

god bless