Love Without Risk

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Feb 10, 2008
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#1
Yesterday as part of a sermon on Song of Songs the preacher presented this idea of love being a series of "movements." The first movement is sort of initial attraction. The second movement is taking a step out and risking rejection. The third and fourth movements are getting to know each other more deeply and then intimately.

In order to make the sermon more easy to relate to, he talked about sitting at a 9th grade dance and wanting to go ask a girl to dance and the rejection that was possible there. This got me thinking: in the modern dating world there is this big risk of rejection up front and immediately. In all of my relationships I can't say that there was ever a single "this is it" sort of risk moment. I knew that they were interested in me, I sought God's will in each of them. In the end, the risk was actually far greater, but it was a slow risk. Not the "here I am, will you accept me" sort of moment of risk. I would say that I have loved them deeply, deep enough to marry them for sure. Is it not enough to give yourself completely over time? Must there be some moment of raw risk?

So what do you think? Does love really require that moment of true risk of rejection? Or is it enough to accrue that risk over time?

Thoughts?
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,029
3,238
113
#2
So what do you think? Does love really require that moment of true risk of rejection? Or is it enough to accrue that risk over time?

Thoughts?
I really think that there is always risk involved in love. There is always the risk of rejection along the way which is why some who have been hurt severely can tend to be extremely cautious when proceeding into a relationship. In my opinion the risk diminishes with time as a relationship proceeds towards true emotional intimacy.

The greatest definition of true emotional intimacy that I've ever heard is "fully known and fully loved." At the point in a relationship where people are fully known to each other including all their old dirty laundry, shortcomings, strengths, and weaknesses yet fully loved in spite of them, risk is no longer existent.
 

Photoss

Senior Member
Sep 15, 2012
213
10
0
#3
One of the best books I ever read on the subject was "The Art of Rejection" by Hayley and Michael DiMarco (which is really cheap $, btw). One passage that stuck out to me was this:


"If you still are afraid of the chase [with its possibility of rejection], then consider this. What if we were to give you an endless supply of $1 bills with which you could buy lottery tickets at no risk to you? And say we guaranteed that in your lifetime, one of those dollars would hit the jackpot. Wouldn't you be laying those greenbacks down in a heartbeat, knowing your time was going to come? That's the type of control you have over your dating life. You have an endless supply of invitations to offer - all you have to do is spend them."
 
P

Powemm

Guest
#4
Jesus risked everything-- his own life for us . So that we may live.. He is tue ideology
Of what Love ought to be and is . He gave us the perfact example... It is not what Love can do for me.. It is what His love for me can do for someone else
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#5
Most amazing things have risk. Love is worth it :)
 
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Cari99

Guest
#6
I have always been really brave when facing rejection.....I suppose it's because I am too optimistic :)
 
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4evrfree

Guest
#7
Is it even possible to TOTALLY and COMPLETELY love someone without some risk at some point? Hmmm... I think it's worth the risk...