Hey Everyone!
Most of us have had some experience with the title of this thread--have you ever gone out with someone you weren't all that interested in and thought, "Oh well, at least I'll get a free dinner out of it!" Or, maybe you actually did like the person but things didn't turn out so well, so you see the meal as some sort of consolation prize. (Or, of course, you may be the person who shelled out the money for the other person's meal and was promptly dumped afterwards.)
As Christians, I'm pretty sure God doesn't want us using anyone for anything, no matter what the reason. If we're thinking in our hearts, "I can use this person for free food," I highly doubt that God considers this to be "loving our neighbor as ourselves".
Now maybe some of you feel differently... Is it ok to let someone pay for you even if you know you don't really like the person?
But what about the issue of chivalry vs. treating someone with Godly respect?
Personally, I love it when guys still believe in chivalry. I am happy with something as simple as McDonald's, but I really smile inside if a guy insists on paying for the first date because there's something so "gentlemanly" about it.
However, I struggle with not wanting to make someone feel used, so I always offer to pay my own way and in some cases, I'll pay for his meal as well. (I don't date often--maybe 2 times a year, and that's setting a record
). I have had some incidences where the guy drove a bit of a distance to meet me and so when the check came, I automatically took care of it for both of us because I wanted to keep the financial investment even.
But at the same time, I miss the feeling of being taken care of. And yet, none of the dates have ever turned into anything so I'm glad I can at least know the person won't feel that I used him.
What do you all think of situations like this? Have you ever used someone for a free meal? Has someone ever used you for something? What is the solution? Should the woman always offer to pay her own way so that the guy won't feel used? And if she does pay her own way... Is there anything else we can do to keep good old-fashioned chivalry alive?
The poll is anonymous and multiple choice, but PLEASE post your experiences/thoughts as well. I'd love to know how you feel about this topic. Happy sharing!
Most of us have had some experience with the title of this thread--have you ever gone out with someone you weren't all that interested in and thought, "Oh well, at least I'll get a free dinner out of it!" Or, maybe you actually did like the person but things didn't turn out so well, so you see the meal as some sort of consolation prize. (Or, of course, you may be the person who shelled out the money for the other person's meal and was promptly dumped afterwards.)
As Christians, I'm pretty sure God doesn't want us using anyone for anything, no matter what the reason. If we're thinking in our hearts, "I can use this person for free food," I highly doubt that God considers this to be "loving our neighbor as ourselves".
Now maybe some of you feel differently... Is it ok to let someone pay for you even if you know you don't really like the person?
But what about the issue of chivalry vs. treating someone with Godly respect?
Personally, I love it when guys still believe in chivalry. I am happy with something as simple as McDonald's, but I really smile inside if a guy insists on paying for the first date because there's something so "gentlemanly" about it.
However, I struggle with not wanting to make someone feel used, so I always offer to pay my own way and in some cases, I'll pay for his meal as well. (I don't date often--maybe 2 times a year, and that's setting a record
). I have had some incidences where the guy drove a bit of a distance to meet me and so when the check came, I automatically took care of it for both of us because I wanted to keep the financial investment even. But at the same time, I miss the feeling of being taken care of. And yet, none of the dates have ever turned into anything so I'm glad I can at least know the person won't feel that I used him.
What do you all think of situations like this? Have you ever used someone for a free meal? Has someone ever used you for something? What is the solution? Should the woman always offer to pay her own way so that the guy won't feel used? And if she does pay her own way... Is there anything else we can do to keep good old-fashioned chivalry alive?
The poll is anonymous and multiple choice, but PLEASE post your experiences/thoughts as well. I'd love to know how you feel about this topic. Happy sharing!
