The Marriage Pact: I'm Single, You're Single, Let's Get Married!!!

[I_am_Canadian]

No one knows what the future holds, all we can do is take the information we have at hand to make the
best descision possible, but to just pick someone and marry them just for the sake of getting married is just utter foolishness

Hey Everyone,

A recent post reminded me of something that happened in my church as a kid--someone very well-known in the church got married to their opposite gender best friend.

Rumor had it (NO! Say it isn't so!! Rumors in church!) that they two had been best friends for many years and had made an agreement that if neither one was married by age XX, they would marry each other.

Needless to say, the marriage didn't last long... not even a year, I remember correctly.

The two were strong Christians, raised in church, attended Bible colleges, both held positions in the church--they were obviously very Christ-centered--and were best friends... Now I can't say for sure, but I would guess they felt they were on the right path. After all, isn't this the "magical formula" people say will produce the Christian fairytale marriage everyone talks about? So what do you think went wrong?

Have any of you had similar agreements or ideas with a friend? Do you think it would work? Why or why not? Do you know anyone else who's had a "marriage pact", and how did the story turn out?

In high school I had a guy friend who once said that even if he and I never felt romantic love, "We'd be best friends and that's something a lot of people never have." We eventually went separate ways in life and you know how they always say hindsight is 20/20? I don't think we would have succeeded at marriage very well at all. Our friendship was awesome but we were very different people.

HOWEVER, as the years go by... I have a guy friend who knows me better than anyone else in my life and even though there's never had any romanticism involved, I can't say I haven't considered it!!

What makes our hearts so lonely and desperate that we are willing to grasp at what seems like the final straws?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Of course, the poll is anonymous and multiple choice!

 

[Lynx]

Some zombie threads need to be dug up. Some topics need to be revisited occasionally.

This... Is in fact one of them.

 

[blue_ladybug]

I'm single, you're single.. Let's keep it that way and NOT get married.. lol

 

[Pipp]

This reminds me...I've got 1 year and 3 months till times up and I get to marry my friend Mark.

 

[Nice_Lady]

For me marriage is a promise. Before i became christian, i didnt care about the signature (in the marriage contact). It was my word that mattered. So yes i made a promise (for marrying on a certain age) with a guy but after that i found my "soul mate". The things went perfectly in order - that friend married, then my bf left me and after that i became christian so i was pleased they r both out of reach (as none of them is christian). I know that the Lord will provide graciously. His plan is wonderful and His wisdom is magnificent!

 

[seoulsearch]

It's funny how, when these old threads get pulled up, I have to go back and re-read them... even if I'm the one who wrote the thread--so I can remind myself of what was going on in my life at that time.

Fortunately, some things never change.

The guy friend I wrote about in the original post is still very much a part of my life--just talked to him last week.

And, we still joke, "Well hey, if you're not doing anything in 10 years..."

I've already known him for 15... At this point, we just figure, what's another 10?

Stay tuned.

In another decade, this thread just might have a sequel.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

Making a pact like this is not something I would consider. However, just for the sake of conversation, I'll step into the role and play the "what-if".

If I had made a pact with a friend that if neither of us were married by [insert arbitrary age] that we would get married, I would not marry them. I would think that we were both too defective to be marriage material and should just stay single.

 

[Galatea]

Who wants to be plan Z? I want to be plan A. I can't imagine a marriage based on desperation could be very fulfilling.

 

[Susanna]

Who wants to be plan Z? I want to be plan A. I can't imagine a marriage based on desperation could be very fulfilling.

Lol, it's like someone on his knees telling you that the ring is too big/small because it was meant for plan A.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

Who wants to be plan Z? I want to be plan A. I can't imagine a marriage based on desperation could be very fulfilling.

Well...there are a lot of folks who are desperate enough to take anything they can get so they don't have to be "that person" who shops at 3 am for TV dinners and cases of cat food.

 

[kaylagrl]

Hey Everyone,

A recent post reminded me of something that happened in my church as a kid--someone very well-known in the church got married to their opposite gender best friend.

Rumor had it (NO! Say it isn't so!! Rumors in church!) that they two had been best friends for many years and had made an agreement that if neither one was married by age XX, they would marry each other.

Needless to say, the marriage didn't last long... not even a year, I remember correctly.

The two were strong Christians, raised in church, attended Bible colleges, both held positions in the church--they were obviously very Christ-centered--and were best friends... Now I can't say for sure, but I would guess they felt they were on the right path. After all, isn't this the "magical formula" people say will produce the Christian fairytale marriage everyone talks about? So what do you think went wrong?

Have any of you had similar agreements or ideas with a friend? Do you think it would work? Why or why not? Do you know anyone else who's had a "marriage pact", and how did the story turn out?

In high school I had a guy friend who once said that even if he and I never felt romantic love, "We'd be best friends and that's something a lot of people never have." We eventually went separate ways in life and you know how they always say hindsight is 20/20? I don't think we would have succeeded at marriage very well at all. Our friendship was awesome but we were very different people.

HOWEVER, as the years go by... I have a guy friend who knows me better than anyone else in my life and even though there's never had any romanticism involved, I can't say I haven't considered it!!

What makes our hearts so lonely and desperate that we are willing to grasp at what seems like the final straws?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Of course, the poll is anonymous and multiple choice!

Wow!! this is the biggest,most colorful poll I have ever seen!! Im impressed.

 

[seoulsearch]

Wow!! this is the biggest,most colorful poll I have ever seen!! Im impressed.

Unfortunately, the poll is also 5 years old and closed.

I never put an end date (closure) on my polls, which I know some people disagree with, but the reason I don't is because sometimes they get pulled up again. I'm guessing the system must have closed the poll after this much time.

I know, I know... If I were ambitious enough, I'd rewrite it so that the current crowd could answer, but I just haven't had the time or energy.

However, if anyone else would like to make a go of writing an updated thread on the same (or re-worked) subject, please feel free.

 

[Galatea]

Lol, it's like someone on his knees telling you that the ring is too big/small because it was meant for plan A.

Lol, I don't know if the diamond in the setting is big enough- the ring can always be resized.

[video=youtube;g__ANxxwKIk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g__ANxxwKIk[/video]

 

[Galatea]

Well...there are a lot of folks who are desperate enough to take anything they can get so they don't have to be "that person" who shops at 3 am for TV dinners and cases of cat food.

If you marry plan Z, you very well might be "that person" who shops at 3 am for TV dinners and cases of cat food just to get away from Z for a while.

It reminds me of Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice. Charlotte tells Lizzie that she goes almost a whole day without seeing her spouse, and how pleasant that is for her.

 

[Oncefallen]

Unfortunately, the poll is also 5 years old and closed.

I never put an end date (closure) on my polls, which I know some people disagree with, but the reason I don't is because sometimes they get pulled up again. I'm guessing the system must have closed the poll after this much time.

I'm pretty sure that I closed the poll because every time someone votes in a poll it bumps the thread back to the top even if there was no response in the thread. A lot of the time you get poll threads that keep getting bumped back to the front page solely due to poll votes even though the discussion has long since died.

I went ahead and reopened the poll since the thread seems to have revived (at least for a while).

 

[Oncefallen]

**just realized a new thread was created already**

Never mind, poll closed again so the new thread can replace this one.