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erika83

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2008
142
1
18
#1
I have a coworker who is single, 4 years younger than me and not Christian (not born again). The rest of coworkers knowing I'm single too, they always try to hook us up, there are many jokes and insinuations circulating about us, which sometimes is very annoying and embarrassing to me. He doesn't react to the jokes, he just smiles.
He gives me lifts to work (on same route he has to go anyway), he is nice but I wouldn't say he's flirty, he is nice to everyone. Ok my problem is that I'm kinda afraid to hang out with him because of these "helpful" coworkers and I don't want rumors, also in the back of my mind sometimes when he's too nice there is this "maybe he is interested" and I don't want to lead him on. I'm not interested in him because he's not a Christian but he is nice as a friend and coworker.
I don't know what to do, totally avoid hanging out with him coz of stupid people that can't mind their own business or as long as he doesn't show clear interest I have nothing to worry about? Would like to hear some opinions....
 

Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#2
This could be a good opportunity to let people know you are Christian. Whenever someone makes a joke, or suggests something you could say something along the lines of. - Oh he's nice, but I can't marry a non-Christian, our lives are going in different directions. Good lead in to some conversations too.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
Why not just speak up and be direct and tell them you have no romantic interest in the guy and you wish they would stop trying to push you together? And explain to them you are tired of their jokes and insinuations and if they insist on continuing you will take it up with their boss.
 

erika83

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2008
142
1
18
#4
Oh I already spoke up Ugly but they have fun doing this and boss sometimes gives the tone so no use in telling him. Some people just can't understand that there are single people too and that we don't need their "help".
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
Does your boss have a boss?
 

erika83

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2008
142
1
18
#6
Nope, he's the owner as well. I'll just try to ignore their jokes, if I react they tease more.
 

acesneverwin

Senior Member
Jun 8, 2011
186
12
18
#7
This kind of stuff used to happen when I started working at my job. And saying anything in retaliation never works cause... people are gonna talk anyway. So I just laughed it off and even played it up. I had no interest in her romantically... not my type at all. But we talked a lot and everyone said were dating and making jokes etc. I generally just smiled because it doesn't really matter what you argue... and people like when you retaliate back. So I just started playing it up. Someone say something stupid about us being together the night before or whatever... I would just go with it and just playfully agree with what they say and expand on whatever they brought up. Like "Oh yes, we were together all night long" They joke some more. I joke back poking fun at it and even with her when joking around with her.

Some people may have thought something more was going on but it didn't really matter. If you deny it, they just say "suuuuure"... or something or other and keep talking and making jokes about it. You play along with them, they eventually give it up and stop talking about it because they aren't getting any kind of reaction and they already joked about it to death. If they seriously asked if we were together, I would tell the truth. But generally I would just joke about it with them.

It took stress off of me because they couldn't embarrass me cause I would play along. We were able to stay friends me and her because we know the truth and there's nothing there. Me joking about it helped me to not feel uncomfortable around her... She knows I'm joking... And we still did stuff together once in a blue moon. Didn't bother me.

I would just play it off in a wink wink kind of approach. They may know if you're being serious or joking but doesn't matter... They can keep talking about and have fun with it and you can have fun back and eventually they'll get bored and go on to something else. IF you keep retaliating though... they'll keep at it to get you're reaction.
 

erika83

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2008
142
1
18
#8
This kind of stuff used to happen when I started working at my job. And saying anything in retaliation never works cause... people are gonna talk anyway. So I just laughed it off and even played it up. I had no interest in her romantically... not my type at all. But we talked a lot and everyone said were dating and making jokes etc. I generally just smiled because it doesn't really matter what you argue... and people like when you retaliate back. So I just started playing it up. Someone say something stupid about us being together the night before or whatever... I would just go with it and just playfully agree with what they say and expand on whatever they brought up. Like "Oh yes, we were together all night long" They joke some more. I joke back poking fun at it and even with her when joking around with her.

Some people may have thought something more was going on but it didn't really matter. If you deny it, they just say "suuuuure"... or something or other and keep talking and making jokes about it. You play along with them, they eventually give it up and stop talking about it because they aren't getting any kind of reaction and they already joked about it to death. If they seriously asked if we were together, I would tell the truth. But generally I would just joke about it with them.

It took stress off of me because they couldn't embarrass me cause I would play along. We were able to stay friends me and her because we know the truth and there's nothing there. Me joking about it helped me to not feel uncomfortable around her... She knows I'm joking... And we still did stuff together once in a blue moon. Didn't bother me.

I would just play it off in a wink wink kind of approach. They may know if you're being serious or joking but doesn't matter... They can keep talking about and have fun with it and you can have fun back and eventually they'll get bored and go on to something else. IF you keep retaliating though... they'll keep at it to get you're reaction.

Thanks for sharing this, your situation was a lot like mine :) That's what my coworker does, it's a littler harder for me but will try my best not to retaliate because that only leads to more teasing like you said.
 
Feb 11, 2012
1,358
8
0
#9
Forget the opinions, the word of God say to avoid those who may cause you to stumble, and what does light have to do with darkness, I know you have to work in this enviorment, and may have to do things with him, but if you choose to fellowship with him, and I mean joining in his worldly likes and behaviors, then you are in compromise.

Just be a strong light and witness to him and your co workers, especially in your work ethic, and behavior, and most important make sure you are walking in the truth, have repented of all sins leading to death, and walking the crucified life unto God, you wont be popular, in fact many will abandone you when you get on fire for God and truth, exposing the lies!

Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity!

Heb 1:9 Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.
Whenever you ask a loaded question, expect to get shot at! Such as what the church system is producing today. Many will spend an inordinate amount of time loving the things of the world, or expressing how much they love their church and pastor, the church functions, parties, pot lucks, and movie night, sports teams, etc. but fail to mention how they love to do what is right such as:
Depart from all iniquity!
Abstain from all appearances of evil!
Repent and be converted!
The truth Jesus brought with passion and courage, that got Him crucified!
Being persecuted and kicked out of their beloved church for standing against the false ways and worldliness!
Losing all their friends and respect from their family who deems them an evil heretic!
Hungering and thirsting for righteousness!
Keeping pure and unspotted from the world!
Giving up their worldly music, games, TV, and past times, to get into the meat of the word!
Defending and contending earnestly for the truth!
Following Jesus on the narrow road!
Plucking out and casting away the sins of the flesh!
Denying ungodliness and worldly lusts!
Keeping unspotted from the world!
But most of all they will never love the truth as long as they stay IN the system of lies that repeatedly tells them they were born sinners, totally depraved, and will always be a poor helpless sinner, where Jesus came to be their substitute and replacement, so doing what is right is an option since they will always be carnal sold under sin until they die and are set free!
So hating iniquity and loving righteousness it backwards today, since the professed cannot do what is right from the heart, made pure through real repentance and an obedient faith. They will never have a grasp on what God considers righteousness, and hate all those who preach it, such as what Jesus went through with the Pharisees.
He came with a profound message, totally backwards from what is being taught today, He preached , go and sin no more, lay aside your wicked and perverse ways, and repent of the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life, He preached a works salvation, based on an obedient dynamic working faith in love. Not an outer works of the law such as what the Pharisee’s held in high regard.
So the true convert will surely not love the vain attractions plaguing the church system and people today, no way! He or she will be in love with the truth, perusing righteousness, not the lust of the eyes, and flesh, but will have a strong love for truth, godly wisdom, and hate and despise all evil, sin and wickedness!
The spirit will be his witness in all things, and just the thought of sin and iniquity which is rebellion towards God is despised by him, as well as all the false teachings many who profess Christ love today.
But don’t you see what they are teaching today as just the opposite? You get saved IN your vile sins and rebellion, not OUT of them, real repentance and faith is substituted for a transfer of Christ’s righteousness to you, then all sins are pre forgiven, since you are the Roman’s wretch, and chief of sinners, where any sin and iniquity is just a speed bump that sets you back a bit, but never a road block leading to spiritual death!
I encourage you to seek the truth, love it, defend it, and know that Gods glorious grace and mercy will fall upon you with the oil of gladness, and a joy not built upon something that never happened, but a joy in knowing you are on the same page as God, living a life just doing the right thing, obeying His commands, and enjoying the great freedom Jesus has given you over the sins that used to snare you time and again!
Psa 119:104 Through Your Commandments I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way.
But today the false way is loved; the ears are tickled, while many souls perish in their sins that were never repented of!
Psa 19:8 The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;
Folks we are responsible for the truth, Gods precepts which are just and right, and produce a sound mind and heart. His commandments are pure and a joy to follow, obey and love, keeping the eyes full of light, in a very dark and dangerous world. Where the deception it around every corner waiting for another gullible victim to fall into it because they neglected the weightier matters of life such as repentance and faith, which will produce a pure and sound heart and mind, not bent on arguing in favor of sin and unrighteousness by what they teach and love!

2Th 2:10 And with all deceit of unrighteousness in those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, so that they might be saved.
2Th 2:11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie,
2Th 2:12 So that all those who do not believe the truth, but delight in unrighteousness, might be condemned.
Are you under the strong delusion that says you can sin like the devil and still be saved? OR that you were born a helpless sinner, Jesus took your place and obeyed for you because you cannot? Do you love to argue in favor of sin instead of righteousness and purity?
If yes, then the grand conclusion is that you are under the strong delusion, loving the lie, and your only hope is to come out from among her and be separate, depart from iniquity and do this to get free from the spirit of error:
Jas 1:21 Therefore putting aside all filthiness and overflowing of evil, receive in meekness the implanted Word, which is able to save your souls.
Jas 1:22 But become doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
Tommy
 
L

libertygirl

Guest
#10
Be assertive. Command respect, and they'll respect you.
 

erika83

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2008
142
1
18
#11
If a coworker asked you out, would you automatically assume he is interested in you or just wants to befriend you?
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#12
Nope, he's the owner as well. I'll just try to ignore their jokes, if I react they tease more.

I think this is the best. I do the same thing and people usually let it drop.
 

Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#13
Depends how it is done Ericka - I'd confirm with him, possibly immediately - ask if this is anything or just a friends thing, cause I'm not interested.
 
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#14
I would use every opportunity to witness when this happens....... If the guy likes you, he'll respond by wanting to go to church with you.Then you'll know. Everyone else, including your boss, will see your trend & back off one by one, because they hate being "preached'' to. Your boss won't do anything to you knowing the religious 'comotion' he'll stir up. You don't have to be loud or obnoxious with it, just be honest & sincere. It will show you care more about ''them'' than ''him''.
 
H

heirofChrist

Guest
#15
I have a coworker who is single, 4 years younger than me and not Christian (not born again). The rest of coworkers knowing I'm single too, they always try to hook us up, there are many jokes and insinuations circulating about us, which sometimes is very annoying and embarrassing to me. He doesn't react to the jokes, he just smiles.
He gives me lifts to work (on same route he has to go anyway), he is nice but I wouldn't say he's flirty, he is nice to everyone. Ok my problem is that I'm kinda afraid to hang out with him because of these "helpful" coworkers and I don't want rumors, also in the back of my mind sometimes when he's too nice there is this "maybe he is interested" and I don't want to lead him on. I'm not interested in him because he's not a Christian but he is nice as a friend and coworker.
I don't know what to do, totally avoid hanging out with him coz of stupid people that can't mind their own business or as long as he doesn't show clear interest I have nothing to worry about? Would like to hear some opinions....
Have you ever shared the Gospel with this person? Maybe you have a wonderful oppurtunity to tell the good news to this guy.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#16
Put some of these in their lunches Grenades-1.jpg
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#17
Julianna, they look a bit fattening.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#18
It's okay..the fat will disappear in 5..4..3..2..:D
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
#19
I have a coworker who is single, 4 years younger than me and not Christian (not born again). The rest of coworkers knowing I'm single too, they always try to hook us up, there are many jokes and insinuations circulating about us, which sometimes is very annoying and embarrassing to me. He doesn't react to the jokes, he just smiles.
He gives me lifts to work (on same route he has to go anyway), he is nice but I wouldn't say he's flirty, he is nice to everyone. Ok my problem is that I'm kinda afraid to hang out with him because of these "helpful" coworkers and I don't want rumors, also in the back of my mind sometimes when he's too nice there is this "maybe he is interested" and I don't want to lead him on. I'm not interested in him because he's not a Christian but he is nice as a friend and coworker.
I don't know what to do, totally avoid hanging out with him coz of stupid people that can't mind their own business or as long as he doesn't show clear interest I have nothing to worry about? Would like to hear some opinions....
As weird as this sounds I have a somewhat similar situation (except the guy I get teased about is Christian). Best thing to do is be patient with your coworkers. Don't react too much or they might think that you're jumping to the defense because you're trying to hide something or what they're teasing you about is true. I see no issue with continuing being his friend, though. It isn't his fault or yours that you and him are being teased. As long as he's not acting too flirty or making you uncomfortable with how he acts don't worry about it.
 
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#20
As weird as this sounds I have a somewhat similar situation (except the guy I get teased about is Christian). Best thing to do is be patient with your coworkers. Don't react too much or they might think that you're jumping to the defense because you're trying to hide something or what they're teasing you about is true. I see no issue with continuing being his friend, though. It isn't his fault or yours that you and him are being teased. As long as he's not acting too flirty or making you uncomfortable with how he acts don't worry about it.
This is how I would do it... but there are many people who can't. I guess I'll still say it's a good plan! :)