S
Hi, I'm SeatBelt. The s/n stems from me working in the seat belt industry. In addition, I keep my kids safe.
CC is steadily becoming a place where I can learn to trust again. This is, as some of you unfortunately know from your own journeys, a slow process. I identify more with the singles on this site than I do with any other represented subgroup. I'm not Technically single, but I am Definitely not looking for someone.
My divorce is in a pending state, but it's been over a year now. She filed, not me. She left me & the kids. It is not something that can end with reunification. Even the most conservative elders at my church agree that would be unwise. I fight for my kids in ways they may never understand. I'm their dad and they know that they are loved and that they can count on me. I think that my children do not yet grasp their mother's mental health issues (documented, diagnosed, previously hospitalized, supposedly medicated - not the made up bitter accusation of a angry ex), but I have worked to mitigate that and shield them from it since her issues arose.
I've never heard anyone talk about a clean divorce. I think they are All messy. I'm not interested in seeing who can top who with theirs, but for any of you who gained wisdom through your divorce and have suggestions of things that I need to attain in the final decree to better benefit my children, I am Very open to listening. I believe that there is nothing about my divorce worth fighting over except the kids. This means custody, this means visitation, this means first right of refusal (which may now be a moot point - long story), this means THEIR home, this means the assets that provide for them, and this means steps to better secure their future - such as having her help pay for college (she makes more than me and already pays child support). What else does this mean? I want to know, because I want to fight for them in Every way I can. I have no desire to be punitive to their mother. That's not my role. God, and perhaps the DA, can take care of that. I just want to be Dad.
I pray daily that God help me provide my children with consistent Christian parenting each day and that my children only endure the hardships that are there to make them the people He wants us to be. I am their knight and defender; they know this and see it in some ways (like the time I drove to Missouri to come get them, or when I chase off the occasional coyote) and may grow to see it in others. I am using the divorce as an opportunity to share my faith with them and to help them grow their own. It has certainly gown mine. Each morning as we pray together, we pray about God watching over them at times and in ways that I cannot. I've not always been who I should be, and acknowledge that we are all in the process of becoming better who He wants us to be. When It came time to create new routines so that a household of 3 could manage and function, I felt that praying together At Least twice a day was something to not overlook.
I also sing to my kids, at least twice a day. Not because I am musical, but because music conveys so much more than my feeble words can at times. I think a home filled with hymns, praise, and the odd silly fun song seems to beat a home where people aren't sure what someone else is feeling. It's hard to not share some joy when someone is singing a song you like. For my son, it's often Blue Skies & Rainbows. For my daughter, that's very nearly always Amazing Grace. That's our song. That is Very much our song. And I know someday, a strong, courageous, independent young woman will call from college and just to hear it in my voice one more time. As many times as I have sung it to her, I know, too, that someday she will sing it to a child.
People often comment on my kids appearance, but I always state they are as smart as they are handsome/beautiful. I have nerdy kids and that is great. It does some days mean wall to wall Legos throughout the whole house, but it is great. He is 7 and she is 9. They are both in the GT program at school, and both in scouts. We hit the library, we go to museums, we make it to church 3 times a week - four if you count my standing Friday night plans of Celebrate Recovery for me which coincides with Divorce Care 4 Kids for them. It's a great way to end the week and an easy way to sit down and have dinner with the family before hand. My kids help me do stuff, too. Whenever possible, I get them under the hood with me when I am fixing someone's car. The sometimes will help me stack firewood (but consider that a consequence of misdeeds, rather than a fun chore). I am teaching them the various household chores, from how to start the floor cleaning robot to cooking, cleaning, and the fine art of wearing clean clothes that are reasonably wrinkle free and match.
I am shy & reluctant, but combating that. I have found that getting back into Contra Dancing has helped with my confidence some, too. Some call it Jane Eyre dancing without the stuffiness, others call it the ancient Celtic ancestor of square dancing. It's something I'd done 16 years ago in Appalachia, and was delighted to discover is here in the Heartland Plains as well. Seasonally I like to go wake boarding with this wonderful group of Christian men (mostly from my small group) who have been teaching me the fine art of not going face first into the lake. Wake surfing is pretty cool too. I never would have dreamed that I could surf behind a boat. (Once you get started you toss in the tow rope and just ride the wake... so cool.) I don't own guns, but do periodically hunt with men from church who do. It is one more way that I actively seek to be around influential Christian men and mentors. I'm also not the best at the keyboard - forgive the occasional wrong word or typo - I'm dyslexic plus feel that I can't spell my way out of a wet paper bag. Spell check, how I love thee, let me count the ways...
Since I have started posting, not just chatting, I wanted to let yall know who I am and what I'm about...especially since I am posting in the Singles Forum and I am Not Single (But Not Looking!). This is probably enough. You now know enough to talk to me or with me, or I suppose, to one another about me. There's more to me than all this, though. A happy more. Perhaps a handful of you can drag me further out of my hermitage enough to get a few other glimpses of who I am.
To those of you who have made forays into this already - with chat, with likes, with responding to my posts or just letting me hang out in the kitchen at your party here on CC. Thank you. I would say that you know who you are, but I question that you all really do. You do me a greater service than you may understand. I thank God for Christian brothers and sisters.
SeatBelt
CC is steadily becoming a place where I can learn to trust again. This is, as some of you unfortunately know from your own journeys, a slow process. I identify more with the singles on this site than I do with any other represented subgroup. I'm not Technically single, but I am Definitely not looking for someone.
My divorce is in a pending state, but it's been over a year now. She filed, not me. She left me & the kids. It is not something that can end with reunification. Even the most conservative elders at my church agree that would be unwise. I fight for my kids in ways they may never understand. I'm their dad and they know that they are loved and that they can count on me. I think that my children do not yet grasp their mother's mental health issues (documented, diagnosed, previously hospitalized, supposedly medicated - not the made up bitter accusation of a angry ex), but I have worked to mitigate that and shield them from it since her issues arose.
I've never heard anyone talk about a clean divorce. I think they are All messy. I'm not interested in seeing who can top who with theirs, but for any of you who gained wisdom through your divorce and have suggestions of things that I need to attain in the final decree to better benefit my children, I am Very open to listening. I believe that there is nothing about my divorce worth fighting over except the kids. This means custody, this means visitation, this means first right of refusal (which may now be a moot point - long story), this means THEIR home, this means the assets that provide for them, and this means steps to better secure their future - such as having her help pay for college (she makes more than me and already pays child support). What else does this mean? I want to know, because I want to fight for them in Every way I can. I have no desire to be punitive to their mother. That's not my role. God, and perhaps the DA, can take care of that. I just want to be Dad.
I pray daily that God help me provide my children with consistent Christian parenting each day and that my children only endure the hardships that are there to make them the people He wants us to be. I am their knight and defender; they know this and see it in some ways (like the time I drove to Missouri to come get them, or when I chase off the occasional coyote) and may grow to see it in others. I am using the divorce as an opportunity to share my faith with them and to help them grow their own. It has certainly gown mine. Each morning as we pray together, we pray about God watching over them at times and in ways that I cannot. I've not always been who I should be, and acknowledge that we are all in the process of becoming better who He wants us to be. When It came time to create new routines so that a household of 3 could manage and function, I felt that praying together At Least twice a day was something to not overlook.
I also sing to my kids, at least twice a day. Not because I am musical, but because music conveys so much more than my feeble words can at times. I think a home filled with hymns, praise, and the odd silly fun song seems to beat a home where people aren't sure what someone else is feeling. It's hard to not share some joy when someone is singing a song you like. For my son, it's often Blue Skies & Rainbows. For my daughter, that's very nearly always Amazing Grace. That's our song. That is Very much our song. And I know someday, a strong, courageous, independent young woman will call from college and just to hear it in my voice one more time. As many times as I have sung it to her, I know, too, that someday she will sing it to a child.
People often comment on my kids appearance, but I always state they are as smart as they are handsome/beautiful. I have nerdy kids and that is great. It does some days mean wall to wall Legos throughout the whole house, but it is great. He is 7 and she is 9. They are both in the GT program at school, and both in scouts. We hit the library, we go to museums, we make it to church 3 times a week - four if you count my standing Friday night plans of Celebrate Recovery for me which coincides with Divorce Care 4 Kids for them. It's a great way to end the week and an easy way to sit down and have dinner with the family before hand. My kids help me do stuff, too. Whenever possible, I get them under the hood with me when I am fixing someone's car. The sometimes will help me stack firewood (but consider that a consequence of misdeeds, rather than a fun chore). I am teaching them the various household chores, from how to start the floor cleaning robot to cooking, cleaning, and the fine art of wearing clean clothes that are reasonably wrinkle free and match.
I am shy & reluctant, but combating that. I have found that getting back into Contra Dancing has helped with my confidence some, too. Some call it Jane Eyre dancing without the stuffiness, others call it the ancient Celtic ancestor of square dancing. It's something I'd done 16 years ago in Appalachia, and was delighted to discover is here in the Heartland Plains as well. Seasonally I like to go wake boarding with this wonderful group of Christian men (mostly from my small group) who have been teaching me the fine art of not going face first into the lake. Wake surfing is pretty cool too. I never would have dreamed that I could surf behind a boat. (Once you get started you toss in the tow rope and just ride the wake... so cool.) I don't own guns, but do periodically hunt with men from church who do. It is one more way that I actively seek to be around influential Christian men and mentors. I'm also not the best at the keyboard - forgive the occasional wrong word or typo - I'm dyslexic plus feel that I can't spell my way out of a wet paper bag. Spell check, how I love thee, let me count the ways...
Since I have started posting, not just chatting, I wanted to let yall know who I am and what I'm about...especially since I am posting in the Singles Forum and I am Not Single (But Not Looking!). This is probably enough. You now know enough to talk to me or with me, or I suppose, to one another about me. There's more to me than all this, though. A happy more. Perhaps a handful of you can drag me further out of my hermitage enough to get a few other glimpses of who I am.
To those of you who have made forays into this already - with chat, with likes, with responding to my posts or just letting me hang out in the kitchen at your party here on CC. Thank you. I would say that you know who you are, but I question that you all really do. You do me a greater service than you may understand. I thank God for Christian brothers and sisters.
SeatBelt
May God bless you and your beautiful children abundantly.
