If I were benevolent dictator of the world I would...?

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xXErraticEmilyXx

Guest
#21
#21
If I were benevolent dictator of the world, I would make all these fill in the blank OPs go away.
I would have free electric and plumbing, my internet would be free, and I would have The Elder Scrolls Online before everyone else.
I would change "felony" to bannable offence- banishing anyone who breaks the law from the country.
There would be no suburbans with angry soccer moms in them.
Mac would not exist.
People would stop asking me to play the titanic song on ocarina.
 
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xXErraticEmilyXx

Guest
#22
#22
I could think of several more, but I'm guessing you only wanted one answer and I've already crossed that line.
 
willfollowsGod

willfollowsGod

Senior Member
#23
Apr 14, 2011
1,515
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#23
I would make the Bible available to everyone, so they can read it in whatever format available. I would not ban any religion that is not Christianity, because even Christianity has had a dark history of people claiming being a Christian but not acting like it and giving in to too much zeal without knowledge and common sense to back it up.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#25
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#25
I have lots of ideas... perhaps too many. So I'll just name a few. There would be a Ministry of Names-- which I would run personally. This ministry would prevent parents from naming their children stupid things. There would be basic rules such as "you cannot name your child after a measure of time" "you cannot name your child after a noun. ie apple" "you cannot give your child an approved name and change the spelling. ie Izaiah" I would be culturally respectful, of course. In every hospital there would be a book of approved names, and only the mother would be allowed to name the child.

I would open more vocational high schools so there was a trained work force available every year.

The official national color would be purple and the national animal would be a penguin. His name is George.

Everyone would have AMC so they could watch The Walking Dead.

My birthday (January 2nd) would be a national holiday.

My cabinet members would consist of my friends (both online and off). I'm currently accepting applications.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#26
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
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#26
The day of being that benevolent dictator is close at hand, I can feel it.

All I have to do is wait for all the rest of you to go colonize another planet, and then... Simply take over whatever is left here!!! MUHAHAHAHAH!!!

Sounds kind of like Scott and Dr. Evil:

"But Dad, it's my dream to start my own space colony..."
"An EEE--VIL space colony?"
"NO!! Why do you always do that, you Psycho???"

Or, can't forget this classic...

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"
"The same thing we always do, Pinky--take over (what's left of) the world!!"
NARF!!
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#27
#27
seoulsearch said:
Or, can't forget this classic...

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"
"The same thing we always do, Pinky--take over (what's left of) the world!!"
NARF!!
Click to expand...
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

I think so, Brain, but where are we gonna find rubber pants our size?
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#28
#28
I just thought of another one.

If I were Queen of the world, everyone would be a baby panda guardian. ;) Their numbers would increase to the point they wouldn't be rare anymore.
PANDAS EVERYWHERE!!! WOOOO!



Oh, and at least 50% of the population would be strongly encouraged to learn psychology. The kind, non-invasive helpful listening kind.

And all children would be kindly conditioned to understand compassion at an early age. Teaching them the bible alone does not teach all children compassion. (When I was little I've been bullied more by church kids than any other kids, lol.)

And one day per year would be the international holiday known as CHOCOLATE DAY.

And I'd hire some of those servants to wave pointless giant leaves above me while I'm on my throne giving the appearance that I'm being fanned to keep cool while I discuss business with my royal subjects.
...too much? ;)
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#29
#29
What would I do?

1. If you don't work, you don't eat. No handouts. If you are disabled enough to not be able to have a physical job, you can have a mental one. If you're incapacitated mentally, you can work doing whatever you can, however you can do it. Everyone needs a purpose.

2. Parents get paid for actually parenting their children. If they don't parent, they don't get paid.

3. Single parents work as parents and should get paid as such. No need for daycares and latch-key. Single parents stay home with their children.

4. There will be no penalties for homeschooling. There will be penalties for trying to pass the raising of your children onto someone else.

4. Anyone caught in the left lane of a freeway when not actually passing any cars will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

5. Anyone going slower than 5MPH under the posted speed limit without a verifiable reason will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

6. Anyone talking, texting, or making any noise whatsoever at the movie theater will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with a steel crowbar.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#30
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#30
I think as dictator, I would outlaw burlap sacks.

Whatcha gonna do with that one, Nuke??? :D
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#31
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
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#31
NukePooch said:
What would I do?

1. If you don't work, you don't eat. No handouts. If you are disabled enough to not be able to have a physical job, you can have a mental one. If you're incapacitated mentally, you can work doing whatever you can, however you can do it. Everyone needs a purpose.

2. Parents get paid for actually parenting their children. If they don't parent, they don't get paid.

3. Single parents work as parents and should get paid as such. No need for daycares and latch-key. Single parents stay home with their children.

4. There will be no penalties for homeschooling. There will be penalties for trying to pass the raising of your children onto someone else.

4. Anyone caught in the left lane of a freeway when not actually passing any cars will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

5. Anyone going slower than 5MPH under the posted speed limit without a verifiable reason will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

6. Anyone talking, texting, or making any noise whatsoever at the movie theater will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with a steel crowbar.
Click to expand...


You have an odd affinity for burlap sacks.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#32
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#32
NukePooch, I agree with all of yours but especially 4, 5, and 6. It's especially bad when people do both 4 and 5 at the same time.

I read that there's a theater in London that has volunteer "ninjas" that hush obnoxious movie-goers. I don't know if that's true or not, but I wish it was true everywhere.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#33
#33
NukePooch said:
What would I do?

1. If you don't work, you don't eat. No handouts. If you are disabled enough to not be able to have a physical job, you can have a mental one. If you're incapacitated mentally, you can work doing whatever you can, however you can do it. Everyone needs a purpose.

2. Parents get paid for actually parenting their children. If they don't parent, they don't get paid.

3. Single parents work as parents and should get paid as such. No need for daycares and latch-key. Single parents stay home with their children.

4. There will be no penalties for homeschooling. There will be penalties for trying to pass the raising of your children onto someone else.

4. Anyone caught in the left lane of a freeway when not actually passing any cars will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

5. Anyone going slower than 5MPH under the posted speed limit without a verifiable reason will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

6. Anyone talking, texting, or making any noise whatsoever at the movie theater will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with a steel crowbar.
Click to expand...
Dude....you're scarier than I am with PMS. :eek: lol
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#34
#34
What would I do?

1. If you don't work, you don't eat. No handouts. If you are disabled enough to not be able to have a physical job, you can have a mental one. If you're incapacitated mentally, you can work doing whatever you can, however you can do it. Everyone needs a purpose.

2. Parents get paid for actually parenting their children. If they don't parent, they don't get paid.

3. Single parents work as parents and should get paid as such. No need for daycares and latch-key. Single parents stay home with their children.

4. There will be no penalties for homeschooling. There will be penalties for trying to pass the raising of your children onto someone else.

4. Anyone caught in the left lane of a freeway when not actually passing any cars will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

5. Anyone going slower than 5MPH under the posted speed limit without a verifiable reason will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.

6. Anyone talking, texting, or making any noise whatsoever at the movie theater will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with a steel crowbar.

7. Anyone attempting to outlaw, poke fun at, or otherwise bash burlap sacks will be hung upside-down by their toenails and pummeled into unconsciousness with a dead carrot. Then placed in a burlap sack.
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#35
#35
Relena7 said:
Dude....you're scarier than I am with PMS. :eek: lol
Click to expand...
Not that I don't trust you or anything, but I'd like to get the opinions of some of the men in your life on this subject.


(grin)
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#36
#36
rachelsedge said:
NukePooch, I agree with all of yours but especially 4, 5, and 6. It's especially bad when people do both 4 and 5 at the same time.

I read that there's a theater in London that has volunteer "ninjas" that hush obnoxious movie-goers. I don't know if that's true or not, but I wish it was true everywhere.
Click to expand...

Google to the rescue! Awesome idea. I'd love to see it here.

Ninjas Keep Noisy Theater-Goers In Line | TIME.com

...and for the record, I think the ninjas need burlap sacks.
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#37
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#37
Last edited:
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violakat

Guest
#38
#38
rachelsedge said:
Children would not be allowed to have cellphones until they are 14.
Click to expand...
You're nicer then me. They wouldn't be allowed to have cell phones until 16. And those cell phones would only calling capabilities, no texting, photos, internet, etc. And, they would have limited amount of minutes. If they want more, they have to pay for it.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#39
#39
NukePooch said:
Not that I don't trust you or anything, but I'd like to get the opinions of some of the men in your life on this subject.


(grin)
Click to expand...
Sure I've gotten the dark thoughts....but I can honestly say I've never fantasized placing anyone in a burlap (whatever that is) bag and beating them with anything. :p:p

At most I'd probably wanna beat them with something soft, like a giant stuffed unicorn, or an inflatable carnival mallet that squeaks when it hits.

Hmmmmmm actually............. *adds to Queen list*

jk
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#40
#40
Oh boy, you wouldn't want me to be your benevolent dictator.
1. First, I'd make all men take classes on how to be men, treat women right, and defend the weaker.
2. Then women would have to take a "how to embrace your God-given femininity/identity" class.
3. I would outlaw stupid drivers like the ones who try to run me over.
4. I would castrate child molesters. Oh wait, then I wouldn't be here. Ok, I'd just gather a group of well-meaning citizens to take them to the street and stone them to near death.
Now for the fun stuff

5. I would lock up any men who are skinnier than I am and are still wearing skinny jeans. This would be labeled a mental condition, but my government would pay for your treatment.
6. I would ban hooker heels. Who needs heels that high? I mean I can rock a pair of heels, but those are rediculous.
7. Basic formal education would include appreciation of art... Including ranchero music, Siberian throat singing, refrigerator art, mud pie sculpting, and other forms of overlooked art.
8. Cheesecake would become its own food group.
9. If ticketed for an infraction if bad parenting, I will handcuff parents with Mickey Mouse handcuffs and walk them around Disneyland expecting them to keep their hands in their pockets at all times.
10. There will be mandatory food fights when I say so.
11. Terms like fat will be banned. People will simply be rated as more or less cuddly.
12. Salads must be colorful and contain more than 3 ingredients, unless for a special occasion you are dining with the wealthy and want to seem of higher class. Otherwise the official kingdom salad will be so dense with ingredients, you can stand a fork in it.
13. We will never step on cracks or lines. Poor mama!
14. We will spend our days as the cast of a real life musical... dancing and singing down the street. I realize some I you may not do either well. That's ok, God still loves you. ;)
15. I ban iceberg lettuce!
 
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