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Thread: Relationship with a non-christian?

  1. #1
    Matthew
    Guest

    Default Relationship with a non-christian?

    How do you feel about this subject?

    For the last few years I would have to describe myself as neither christian or non-christian, but have been struggling to identify with either position, as a result I often wondered how a relationship might progress with a christian woman and how she might feel about being with someone who didn't share her faith, knowing that I might possibly move further away from her faith as the relationship progressed.

    I have often thought that because faith is such a big part of people's lives could a Chrstian accept a non-christian as husband or wife?, even if that person respected all your religious beliefs and practises would the fact that they did not share them be a problem.

    I realise that faith is a very personal thing and is not meant to be a barrier to any kind of relationship but once two people marry my feeling would be that they go forward as one and share in everything, so if you have a seperate faith does that create a barrier between you and have the oppsite affect of damaging your relationship.

    I can only think that wouldn't happen if the christian kept their faith seperate and private to avoid it causing problems, but wouldn't that mean holding back a major part of yourself from your partner?

  2. #2
    Reesegirl
    Guest

    Default Re: Relationship with a non-christian?

    Hi Matthew:

    Being a Christian is not simply a way of life: it is the difference between eternal life and death. The Bible says in 1 John 5:12, "He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life." In the circumstance of a relationship with the Son, faith is the very thing that divides between the living and the dead!

    Furthermore, faith is not something that God commanded us to keep separate and private, just to avoid causing problems. Quite the opposite, actually. 2 Timothy 4:2 says, "Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine." If I actually BELIEVE what the Bible says, that Jesus is the savior, that mankind's only hope is to turn to him or be eternally lost, what right have I to withhold that information from a dying world? And if I don't actually believe that, I have no business calling myself a Christian.

    That said, as a christian woman, I would have absolutely no interest in a relationship with an unsaved man. First, the Bible tells me in 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" Second, if loving the Lord Jesus Christ is the center of my life and the most important thing to me as it very well should be, how could I build a relationship with someone who is completely uninterested in him? According to Romans 5:10, before we are reconciled to God by his Son, we are God's enemies. To willingly enter into a relationship with one who of his own free will is choosing to be the enemy of my king would be obsurd, espeically considering that the king died to save him and he rejected that gift. Now, I understand, maybe the person just isn't saved yet. But if I care about that person at all, it is way more important to help him form a relationship with Jesus than enter a relationship with him myself, because I can't save him. Only Jesus can.

  3. #3
    Rissa77
    Guest

    Default Re: Relationship with a non-christian?

    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew View Post
    ......even if that person respected all your religious beliefs and practises would the fact that they did not share them be a problem.

    I realise that faith is a very personal thing and is not meant to be a barrier to any kind of relationship but once two people marry my feeling would be that they go forward as one and share in everything, so if you have a seperate faith does that create a barrier between you and have the oppsite affect of damaging your relationship.

    I can only think that wouldn't happen if the christian kept their faith seperate and private to avoid it causing problems, but wouldn't that mean holding back a major part of yourself from your partner?

    I completely agree except for the faith being a personal thing. If she were a true Christian, her faith would leek into every aspect of her life, and most importantly her marriage. She wouldn't be able to keep it separate. And the Bible says she shouldn't! The Bible talks about marriage numerous times and gives instruction on how they should treat each other, like in 1 Corinthians 7 and 1 Peter 3:1-7. She would want to follow the Bible and show her non-Christian husband the love of God. Depending on the husband, he may not take this too well. I know of many that choose to shun their wives and treat them with distrust because she was of the faith.

    But as 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, we should not be unequally yoked. And the Christian should know this. So if a Christian is dating someone who is not of the faith, she may be following her own desires and not God's will for her life. "Ministry dating", as it is called, rarely works beyond pulling the Christian down; the decline may not be caused by the one she's dating, but be caused simply by the fact she's not following God with all her heart and seeking His will.

  4. #4
    Meridoc
    Guest

    Default Re: Relationship with a non-christian?

    I agree with Rissa and Reese. I have found in at least 90% of marriages like that the Non-Christian negatively affects the Christians faith not the other way around.

    I know from personal experience with my ex-wife, who had just kinda become a christian but she never really grew and then stopped going to church and my walk with Jesus suffered immensely, even to the point of not attending church for approximately 4 years.

  5. #5
    Matthew
    Guest

    Default Re: Relationship with a non-christian?

    That's the repsonse I expected, seems likely that one person's view would have a negative effect on the other, I have never had the experience myself but always assumed if I did it would add another pressure to the situation.

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