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There are always so many things to say or pray about...and yet, so many thoughts and feelings simply ebb and flow like the rain drops which form rivers and lakes...flowing back into seas and oceans...
Anyway...
I've noticed several shows and comics and anime and such now about LDR (Long-Distance Relationships), and they've really hit home and struck chords in me. Most of my relationships in life have been long distance in some form or another...even when speaking about family and friends (as well as romance)...
I'd like to believe, as much or as broken as is true, that I loved each of them, and that they loved me. The truth is...we don't know what love is. Christ came to show us that (among other things), and other than my immediate family, uncle, and best friend...I've never come close to that love with another person...not to them from me or from them to me.
Things have changed. I've changed. ...but I still have that persistent longing inside me to love and be loved... Sometimes I don't think about it. Sometimes it almost consumes me. A great range of thoughts and feelings are associated with it, and I've been from the extremes of completely giving up to sacrificing most other things in my life to find that relationship.
Lol, I certainly don't want this to read or seem like an angsty teenager or another lovesick post about relationships gone wrong or the hope of future partner... I just...wanted to share.
Sometimes, instead of constantly wrestling with yourself and bottling everything, you need to say it ( or type it in this case ).
Sometimes, it's the only way we can process things. Sometimes, it makes us feel better. Sometimes, it makes it more real or less real.
To be honest, as deep of dream in my heart as that has been in the past (and I'd be lying or in denial to say it wasn't still there...)...it baffles me a little. Where did this come from? Why is it so strong? I've starved it and prayed about it several times, but it won't die. Apparently it's not sin...but then, as selfishly incredible as it would be to have someone like that (to love and be loved by)...I've also come to find it's not just anyone. Whoever could be it, honestly, deserves so much better than me and what I can offer.
The best version of me...absolutely! That's why I need Christ's help (among countless other reasons). He's the best I could ever offer anyone. I need a lot more of Him, and to lose a lot more of me.
If you read this, then thank you. Thank you for taking a few minutes to listen to the ramblings of someone like me. I hope and pray God blesses you for it. Strange as that may be to think about or say...
Anyway...
I've noticed several shows and comics and anime and such now about LDR (Long-Distance Relationships), and they've really hit home and struck chords in me. Most of my relationships in life have been long distance in some form or another...even when speaking about family and friends (as well as romance)...
I'd like to believe, as much or as broken as is true, that I loved each of them, and that they loved me. The truth is...we don't know what love is. Christ came to show us that (among other things), and other than my immediate family, uncle, and best friend...I've never come close to that love with another person...not to them from me or from them to me.
Things have changed. I've changed. ...but I still have that persistent longing inside me to love and be loved... Sometimes I don't think about it. Sometimes it almost consumes me. A great range of thoughts and feelings are associated with it, and I've been from the extremes of completely giving up to sacrificing most other things in my life to find that relationship.
Lol, I certainly don't want this to read or seem like an angsty teenager or another lovesick post about relationships gone wrong or the hope of future partner... I just...wanted to share.
Sometimes, instead of constantly wrestling with yourself and bottling everything, you need to say it ( or type it in this case ).
Sometimes, it's the only way we can process things. Sometimes, it makes us feel better. Sometimes, it makes it more real or less real.
To be honest, as deep of dream in my heart as that has been in the past (and I'd be lying or in denial to say it wasn't still there...)...it baffles me a little. Where did this come from? Why is it so strong? I've starved it and prayed about it several times, but it won't die. Apparently it's not sin...but then, as selfishly incredible as it would be to have someone like that (to love and be loved by)...I've also come to find it's not just anyone. Whoever could be it, honestly, deserves so much better than me and what I can offer.
The best version of me...absolutely! That's why I need Christ's help (among countless other reasons). He's the best I could ever offer anyone. I need a lot more of Him, and to lose a lot more of me.
If you read this, then thank you. Thank you for taking a few minutes to listen to the ramblings of someone like me. I hope and pray God blesses you for it. Strange as that may be to think about or say...
I mean... it makes perfect sense to me. We are created to need one another, and we crave relationship and communion with each other - most especially with a partner who will love us unconditionally and be beside us in our lives. Many of us are designed to remain contentedly single, but let's face it... MOST of us aren't. When God looked at Adam, even in his perfect state before sin entered the world, he saw that it wasn't good for man to "be alone". I don't think it's wrong to recognize it, admit it, or FEEL it.
As for finding that love... that's the hard part. The practical side of me wants to say "just choose someone to love, and love them". But of course it isn't anywhere close to being that easy. I do believe though, that love is a choice we make, and love grows when we feed it. And once it grows, we can see possibilities where before we may not have. Maybe we should look at someone, decide with practical wisdom and prayer whether they would make a good spouse for us, and then love without reservation. Without holding back. Without continuing to question or waffle or wonder. That would probably open up so many amazing possibilities we didn't know existed. But then, there is fear. Maybe fear is our true enemy in this situation.
I'm blathering, sorry. Mostly to myself.
As for finding that love... that's the hard part. The practical side of me wants to say "just choose someone to love, and love them". But of course it isn't anywhere close to being that easy. I do believe though, that love is a choice we make, and love grows when we feed it. And once it grows, we can see possibilities where before we may not have. Maybe we should look at someone, decide with practical wisdom and prayer whether they would make a good spouse for us, and then love without reservation. Without holding back. Without continuing to question or waffle or wonder. That would probably open up so many amazing possibilities we didn't know existed. But then, there is fear. Maybe fear is our true enemy in this situation.
I'm blathering, sorry. Mostly to myself.
I mean... it makes perfect sense to me. We are created to need one another, and we crave relationship and communion with each other - most especially with a partner who will love us unconditionally and be beside us in our lives. Many of us are designed to remain contentedly single, but let's face it... MOST of us aren't. When God looked at Adam, even in his perfect state before sin entered the world, he saw that it wasn't good for man to "be alone". I don't think it's wrong to recognize it, admit it, or FEEL it.
As for finding that love... that's the hard part. The practical side of me wants to say "just choose someone to love, and love them". But of course it isn't anywhere close to being that easy. I do believe though, that love is a choice we make, and love grows when we feed it. And once it grows, we can see possibilities where before we may not have. Maybe we should look at someone, decide with practical wisdom and prayer whether they would make a good spouse for us, and then love without reservation. Without holding back. Without continuing to question or waffle or wonder. That would probably open up so many amazing possibilities we didn't know existed. But then, there is fear. Maybe fear is our true enemy in this situation.
I'm blathering, sorry. Mostly to myself.
As for finding that love... that's the hard part. The practical side of me wants to say "just choose someone to love, and love them". But of course it isn't anywhere close to being that easy. I do believe though, that love is a choice we make, and love grows when we feed it. And once it grows, we can see possibilities where before we may not have. Maybe we should look at someone, decide with practical wisdom and prayer whether they would make a good spouse for us, and then love without reservation. Without holding back. Without continuing to question or waffle or wonder. That would probably open up so many amazing possibilities we didn't know existed. But then, there is fear. Maybe fear is our true enemy in this situation.
I'm blathering, sorry. Mostly to myself.
Not at all...Ang. I've always appreciated hearing from you, and you're right. It makes sense, but it's complicated, messy, painful, and many other things...while also good, life-giving, joyful, and opposite sides of the coin.
Fear might be part of it, but then, I once dated without fear. That's partially why my relationship count is so high...but I'd be hard pressed to say I fully regretted any of that. I learned things, had great experiences, and felt loved in different ways each time.
I suppose a lot of it is just choosing to open yourself up and be real with another person. It is scary, and makes you vulnerable. Sometimes it hurts you deeply...but it can also be the cause of some of your most precious experiences, memories, feelings, lessons...etc...
I suppose it always changes you and your life...to a certain extent...
H
My thoughts as I see more and more cats and dogs running freely through the neighborhood..
"Oh they got out, hope they get back home bc they shouldn't be out here"
They are animals tho.. is it just odd to me that we are so use to keeping animals indoors that when we see one out, it's automatically not right and unfortunate?
"Oh they got out, hope they get back home bc they shouldn't be out here"
They are animals tho.. is it just odd to me that we are so use to keeping animals indoors that when we see one out, it's automatically not right and unfortunate?
T
Okay I need to vent so I'm doing it here lol
So me and my brothers were home while my guardians were doing grocery shopping and we were supposed to be doing chores and my brother comes down stairs his hand covered in blood and he was like "Don't freak out but is this bad?"
And he had a cut in his thumb at least a cm. Deep so I was like yeah you need stitches go wash it out blah blah blah.
Well, guess how he freaking cut his hand.
He was trying to open a knife in his room (WHICH WHY IN THE WORLD HE HAS A KNIFE IN HIS ROOM I HAVE NO IDEA -_-)
And he cut himself.
I dont understand why people can't just do chores without doing something stupid!!!!
Ughh
So me and my brothers were home while my guardians were doing grocery shopping and we were supposed to be doing chores and my brother comes down stairs his hand covered in blood and he was like "Don't freak out but is this bad?"
And he had a cut in his thumb at least a cm. Deep so I was like yeah you need stitches go wash it out blah blah blah.
Well, guess how he freaking cut his hand.
He was trying to open a knife in his room (WHICH WHY IN THE WORLD HE HAS A KNIFE IN HIS ROOM I HAVE NO IDEA -_-)
And he cut himself.
I dont understand why people can't just do chores without doing something stupid!!!!
Ughh
If your brother didn't get the stitches I hope that he at least had enough sense to wrap his thumb with duct tape. I did that once on a finger that I had cut. It was OK for awhile until blood started to shoot out through the tape. I had severed a tendon and it took over 20 stitches to repair. No, I didn't do the stitches myself even though I thought about it briefly. Care for some injuries are best left to the health care professionals. Make sure that he uses Neosporin so it don't get infected.