Talking vs Dating

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AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#21
Everyone has their definitions, so I'll just be the one to post the common denominator:

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[TD="class: word"]talking Share on twitter Share on facebook Share on more

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[TD="class: text, colspan: 3"]When two people are not exclusive with each other nor have established what they are as a couple, but have some sort of relationship.
"John and I go out a lot but we're just talking." or "We've been talking for months now but we're not together."
buy talking mugs & shirts
by Mike Jun 16, 2004 add a video[/TD]
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[TD="class: word"]Talking Share on twitter Share on facebook Share on more

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[TD="class: text, colspan: 3"]When two people like each other and are getting to know each other better,but are still single and not "going out" yet.
I've been talking to talking to this boy for a few weeks, but hes not my boyfriend yet.
buy talking mugs & shirts
by alex Dec 5, 2003 add a video[/TD]
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[TD="class: word"]talking Share on twitter Share on facebook Share on more

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[TD="class: text, colspan: 3"]"stage" in which you are still single but interested in another person and vice versa. this ends when the dating stage begins
I'm talking to this one guy I met a week ago.
buy talking mugs & shirts
by mizz hunniJun 28, 2003 add a video
-per Urban Dictionary

As far as 'dating' is defined...well, there were SO MANY varying definitions...that I decided to just go with my own response:

To exclusively seek out in a publicly (and privately) romantic fashion a person with whom you have intimate feelings/intentions for of a 'courtship'-type manner...thus the step after talking and before committed...

Then you may ask, what do you mean 'before committed'? ...well, it's been my modern day experience that 'dating' someone means they publicly acknowledge you as their significant other, but doesn't necessarily mean they are committed (as in future marriage) to staying with you.

That said...it's ambiguous, subjunctive, and seemingly like most things in the post-modern world...completely revisable at the an individual's discretion...

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DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#23
I'm not a fan of ambiguity. However, I don't need the title of girlfriend either. As long as he and I know how we feel about one another, that's good enough for me.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#24
I am glad to hear I'm not alone in feeling this way. That being said, as a result of past experiences I must admit, I'm a bit jaded about men. I tend to put up a wall and 'friend zone' everyone.
Its not just a you thing, this is what most Christian women do.

Imagine if men did this too.


OR imagine if we were all just friends and no one was getting anywhere with anything....

oh wait, thats how it is already.
 

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
Apr 5, 2013
185
5
18
#25
wow, look how much we have in common. we should make this facebook official. lol. :rolleyes:
HAHAHAHAHA if only you knew! I'm complicated. Trust me there's good reason I'm 'Jaded'. As for facebook official, I've never understood that. I don't object to it as such, I guess I just don't understand it, and I wonder, what does one do if they're 'significant other' doesn't have a facebook account? What is the required ettiquite? I have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend now, so I suppose I need to make a Facebook account just so that random strangers and people I never actually associate with all know about my personal life? Makes no sense to me.
 

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
Apr 5, 2013
185
5
18
#26
Its not just a you thing, this is what most Christian women do.

Imagine if men did this too.


OR imagine if we were all just friends and no one was getting anywhere with anything....

oh wait, thats how it is already.
Well I must admit I never used to be that way. I've changed my perspective on relationships and men in general based on personal experience. I'm not putting all men into the same category, I'm just a lot more guarded now than I used to be. Any guy who shows interest now, would have to prove to me that he's 'not like the last one'. Sorry, I know that might sound shallow, but until I see otherwise, I can't bring myself to just open up and let any guy in. I'm a girl with a fragile heart. Just how it is...
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#27
I've got a fragile heart too. I feel far more than I let on, but I'm learning that if someone hurts me, I'll be okay. I see it as if I have a broken bone. The bone will be set, and I may need a cast for a while, but I'll mend. And be stronger for it too.


This is a big deal lesson for me.
 
S

SeatBelt

Guest
#28
i am of the opinion that all hearts are fragile.
some just happened to be so wrapped in scars and callouses that they are protected... but like a hand with such a level of callous, they do not feel much if at all.
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#29
i am of the opinion that all hearts are fragile.
some just happened to be so wrapped in scars and callouses that they are protected... but like a hand with such a level of callous, they do not feel much if at all.


I think everyone feels it. The level of feeling depends on the level of denial involved. And what we do with that feeling is what makes the difference.
 

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
Apr 5, 2013
185
5
18
#30
Oh don't be mistaken, it is BECAUSE I DO FEEL much, that I'm so guarded, because I cannot bear the thought of enduring such pain again.
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#31
I'm guarded too. I'm careful in who I talk to, who I befriend, even who gets to see my Facebook page! I now know and believe that love comes by invitation, but it stays by work and perseverance. My emotions do not rule me, and there are times I don't know how I feel... but that's why I have Jesus. He softens my heart and makes me a bearable person. Otherwise y'all couldn't stand me. Trust me. I used to be very... let's just say different.
 

Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#32
This is one thing I HATE about being in Christian culture.


If I'm interested in someone and want to be with them, I have to hide it or downplay it. I can't just say it. OR It has to be blown way out of proportion and become facebook official.

The burden of expectations and titles and observations and blah blah blah...



Why can't people just be. Let the relationship work itself out. Why does it need a status?

Yeah... expectations suck. It's so hard when you are trying to get to know the person at the same time.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#33
"Just talking" is okay for a very short time, but it's not something I want to do for long.

I have a problem with the "non-exclusive" part I read above. If I am interested in someone and we are "talking" it's because I'm genuinely interested in them and no one else. If I get the feeling that I'm being compared to someone else or there is some sort of non-verbalized checklist being done, I'm out. I don't like games.

If you like someone, why can't you just say so?

I'm not a person who needs labels, but I do find them helpful when other people want to interfere.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
48
#34
It seems to me that dating usually implies "an interest in one another without being exclusive". This is probably why I don't date, never have, and never will. I just don't agree with the "plenty of fish in the sea" attitude and that dating seems to support "through good times, but run when it is bad and find someone else; through health, but can't be burdened when someone is in need; for richer, but if you get laid off I'm outta here; til 'it is no longer convenient to me' do we part."

Dating for the most part just does not seem to support love as it is described in 1 Corinthians 13.

As a side note:
<takes note that Jullianna does not like games... hmm, checks that off of his list and notes that she is not like his exes in that way>
JUST KIDDING! LOL

I only pick on you because I like you, Jullianna. Haven't known you very long but from what I have seen on here, you are a very courageous woman with a humble heart that loves God and a seeker of truth. It says that we shall know them by their fruits. I have seen you display a great deal of patience and kindness to others, with a good moderation of vigilance and wisdom.
I think that are quite a few others on here that have an admiration for you and very much enjoy your fellowship.
Btw, my sister is a Hoosier too. ;-)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#35
Wow..how kind. Thank you.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
#36
So I was on intagram the other day and a female aquaintance of my posted a picture of what I would say is her boyfriend and her hugging. I have no problem with the picture, but it is what she said...this guy she is talking to. I am sure we all have our own definition of what dating, talking, courtship...etc. I would like to get your opinion and how would this look in a christian, kingdom impowering relationship. what is talking, dating, courtship and what does it look like.
Maybe its a typo. Maybe she meant "this guy she is stalking too". Like she's dating him and stalking him too.