There may have been a thousand of these...
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O
Hmm, standards... well, I think the most important thing for me is that the person I'm going to consider to have a relationship with is a Christian, someone of the opposite sex, someone down to earth and humble, and has to be funny. Those would be the core of my standards.
Sure, there are other things that I could list but they aren't as important as the above.
Sure, there are other things that I could list but they aren't as important as the above.
A
Well, if I must ponder considerably about this. I'd probably end up coming to this understanding; that no matter what my standards are for a woman (if there is such a one for me), they may not necessarily be God's standards. I have to keep the view that it could possibly not be God's will for me to be with someone
So with that in mind, I try to express myself in my own standards , hoping that someone with the same will come and share their life with mine[: but it is reassurance that even if my hopes never come true, I will be still in my soul.
So with that in mind, I try to express myself in my own standards , hoping that someone with the same will come and share their life with mine[: but it is reassurance that even if my hopes never come true, I will be still in my soul.
She has a heart for God and has some history of service, as opposed to merely attending church once a week. She understand that service to the Almighty is not always "convenient" and when sacrifices are made it does not mean that God hates her.
She is not so high maintenance that she can't be spontaneous - she can take a few minutes to touch up the make up and GO! - instead of taking 30 minutes to apply the war paint.
She is able to RELAX occasionally - enjoy a movie on the couch cuddling and maybe even receive a backrub instead of getting up five times during the movie to a) feed the dog b) load the dishwasher, c) go outside to retrieve her coffee cup from the car, d) phone her work colleague e) use the restroom - okay, that one makes sense
She takes reasonably good care of herself, but isn't obsessive about it. She can have that occasional slice of cheesecake without a major hang-up.
She realizes that I am only human and will disappoint her from time to time. Likewise, she is able to cut herself some slack instead of being a perfectionist.
oh gosh - - I just realized that I was thinking of my ex and writing the opposite...really, Steve?.....wow....
She is not so high maintenance that she can't be spontaneous - she can take a few minutes to touch up the make up and GO! - instead of taking 30 minutes to apply the war paint.
She is able to RELAX occasionally - enjoy a movie on the couch cuddling and maybe even receive a backrub instead of getting up five times during the movie to a) feed the dog b) load the dishwasher, c) go outside to retrieve her coffee cup from the car, d) phone her work colleague e) use the restroom - okay, that one makes sense
She takes reasonably good care of herself, but isn't obsessive about it. She can have that occasional slice of cheesecake without a major hang-up.
She realizes that I am only human and will disappoint her from time to time. Likewise, she is able to cut herself some slack instead of being a perfectionist.
oh gosh - - I just realized that I was thinking of my ex and writing the opposite...really, Steve?.....wow....
- Loves the Lord our God with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength
- Treats my friends and family with respect
- Has a good sense of humor. Like JimJimmers said, it's not necessarily that they're always funny, but that they appreciate humor. I also appreciate someone who can make me laugh, though to be honest it's not that hard to do that.
Along with that, it'd be great if he doesn't get tired of my laughing...I'm not twirling-my-hair giggly, but I am easily amused.
- Understands my introverted qualities. For example, don't push me to talk if I'm not ready. Trust me, I will eventually talk when I've had time to think things over, and I need my alone time. Though, sometimes when I cry I want a hug and not to be by myself.
- Appreciates nature/God's creation
- Deep thinker. I ask a lot of questions and like deep discussions, so if he doesn't, that might be a problem. Along those lines, he needs to be a spiritual leader, especially since many of my questions/deep discussions are theological.
- Good smile/eyes. The smile always gets me.
- Likes car rides with the windows down and music going loud
- Is patient. I can be fickle and weird sometimes; I can be very simple or very complex
- Has a few dents in his armor, meaning that he's fought some battles in his life. I've fought many in mine, and if he's lead a cozy, comfortable life with few battles, I'm not sure I'd be able to connect on that level.
That's way more in depth that I intended. Now I feel picky. Oh well. I gotta be somewhat picky if I'm going to share my life with them for the rest of my days.
- Treats my friends and family with respect
- Has a good sense of humor. Like JimJimmers said, it's not necessarily that they're always funny, but that they appreciate humor. I also appreciate someone who can make me laugh, though to be honest it's not that hard to do that.
Along with that, it'd be great if he doesn't get tired of my laughing...I'm not twirling-my-hair giggly, but I am easily amused.- Understands my introverted qualities. For example, don't push me to talk if I'm not ready. Trust me, I will eventually talk when I've had time to think things over, and I need my alone time. Though, sometimes when I cry I want a hug and not to be by myself.
- Appreciates nature/God's creation
- Deep thinker. I ask a lot of questions and like deep discussions, so if he doesn't, that might be a problem. Along those lines, he needs to be a spiritual leader, especially since many of my questions/deep discussions are theological.
- Good smile/eyes. The smile always gets me.
- Likes car rides with the windows down and music going loud
- Is patient. I can be fickle and weird sometimes; I can be very simple or very complex
- Has a few dents in his armor, meaning that he's fought some battles in his life. I've fought many in mine, and if he's lead a cozy, comfortable life with few battles, I'm not sure I'd be able to connect on that level.
That's way more in depth that I intended. Now I feel picky. Oh well. I gotta be somewhat picky if I'm going to share my life with them for the rest of my days.
S
Glad to know that I wasn't the only one that thought this when I read this thread.
It's funny, because I'm reading this stuff, and for everyone, there's no Judgey Judgerton going on while I read. In fact, all of the lists, from men and women, I've been positive on, as I read. Yet, the moment I think about posting a list of qualities I admire of my own, the first thing I think is, "Oh, these guys are see me as shallower than a kiddie pool." But I can list ONE quality for which I feel not-a-bit-insecure about wanting: a woman who loves to serve and glorify Christ.
It's funny, because I'm reading this stuff, and for everyone, there's no Judgey Judgerton going on while I read. In fact, all of the lists, from men and women, I've been positive on, as I read. Yet, the moment I think about posting a list of qualities I admire of my own, the first thing I think is, "Oh, these guys are see me as shallower than a kiddie pool." But I can list ONE quality for which I feel not-a-bit-insecure about wanting: a woman who loves to serve and glorify Christ.
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K
- He must love the Lord with all his heart. This doesn't mean he has to put on a mask pretending to be the pefect saint, but his walk with the Lord must be noticeable to me and the people around him someway. He must be able to be the spiritual leader of our family.
-He has to be genuine. I dont want someone pretending to be genuine, someone who pretends to like different things from everyone else just for the sake of being different.
- Passion for life. Seeks to make the most out of his life and be a blessing to others.
- Sense of humor. This is important. He doesn't have to be a clown, just appreciate laughter and humor.
- A good listener. And I mean....someone who actually LISTENS.
- Has to like kids. At least I need to make sure he would like his own kids.
As for physical appearance...I really don't have a preference. I usually like tall guys, and I like a healthy look. Being sporty is a bonus, 'cause I like sports (specially tennis!). Personal hygiene - a must.
Am I being picky?
-He has to be genuine. I dont want someone pretending to be genuine, someone who pretends to like different things from everyone else just for the sake of being different.
- Passion for life. Seeks to make the most out of his life and be a blessing to others.
- Sense of humor. This is important. He doesn't have to be a clown, just appreciate laughter and humor.
- A good listener. And I mean....someone who actually LISTENS.
- Has to like kids. At least I need to make sure he would like his own kids.
As for physical appearance...I really don't have a preference. I usually like tall guys, and I like a healthy look. Being sporty is a bonus, 'cause I like sports (specially tennis!). Personal hygiene - a must.
Am I being picky?
G
All cats are finicky and all cats go to heaven
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My list is very simple: She cares more about serving Jesus than me. Looks? Sure. Let's be real. She better look like someone I like. I like a girl that is 'finicky,' just kidding, that was a little cha-cha at arwenbaggins is all But, yeah, I once told a girl that she was 'spunky,' she was in a singles group with me at my church and I was 26 at this time and she was lamenting the 'whoa is me,' scenario regarding love, marriage. "I'm never gonna find a guy, I'm 32 years old and I'm never going to find one." I told her then, 'you are a great girl, you are spunky." She repeated the word, 'spunky?' I said, yeah, 'spunky. I see that in you.' I'd been on singles retreats a time or two and she was just that, spunky. I was not ready for marriage (at least I told myself that, she would have bee a great 'older woman' to marry. OH well :sighhhhh ) but, yeah, that's what I said.
She was married within one year after that. Just saying And, no it was not to me ,but he was a really nice guy from the singles group.
--------------
My list is very simple: She cares more about serving Jesus than me. Looks? Sure. Let's be real. She better look like someone I like. I like a girl that is 'finicky,' just kidding, that was a little cha-cha at arwenbaggins is all
But, yeah, I once told a girl that she was 'spunky,' she was in a singles group with me at my church and I was 26 at this time and she was lamenting the 'whoa is me,' scenario regarding love, marriage. "I'm never gonna find a guy, I'm 32 years old and I'm never going to find one." I told her then, 'you are a great girl, you are spunky." She repeated the word, 'spunky?' I said, yeah, 'spunky. I see that in you.' I'd been on singles retreats a time or two and she was just that, spunky. I was not ready for marriage (at least I told myself that, she would have bee a great 'older woman' to marry. OH well :sighhhhh ) but, yeah, that's what I said. She was married within one year after that. Just saying
And, no it was not to me ,but he was a really nice guy from the singles group.
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U
I used to be one of these 'list of wants' types, when i realized i'm more concerned about what she isn't.
non smoker
non drinker
no cowgirl/country/redneck types eek!
not a lot of make up
things i may prefer or expect still:
good sense of humor
intelligent
Christian with similar doctrinal views
someone more friendly/outgoing than me, that way i can just sit and watch while she does all the talking to strangers haha
i don't know, i don't spend a lot of time thinking on this. I'm sure i could find more if i tried. But i'm not going to bother since it likely won't matter.
non smoker
non drinker
no cowgirl/country/redneck types eek!
not a lot of make up
things i may prefer or expect still:
good sense of humor
intelligent
Christian with similar doctrinal views
someone more friendly/outgoing than me, that way i can just sit and watch while she does all the talking to strangers haha
i don't know, i don't spend a lot of time thinking on this. I'm sure i could find more if i tried. But i'm not going to bother since it likely won't matter.
I used to work with youth, and the girls used to make lists of things they wanted. It included things like kind, thoughtful, etc. One day I said, "Don't you think those types of things are a given?" Some of those girls hadn't ever considered that before.
And to completely depress at least some of you, you can make lists until the cows come home, but if you don't actively seek out that person, your list means nothing. That person who ends up with the abusive significant other does so because it's what they accept for themselves, and we also teach people how to treat us. There are some who will reject you because you're too nice or whatever. But to find those people is rare. Here's why. Those people who have that kind of self awareness about themselves and the abusive situation they're in are simply seeking out the same abuse they received in the past.
Oh! If I haven't already offended enough people today, here's something else. Having an overly detailed list tells me that you're protecting yourself, and you're afraid of being in a relationship for the most part. If you'd like to discuss this further on an individual basis, please feel free to PM me.
I can make a list of things I'd like to have, sure, but honestly I've lived long enough to know that have a strict list will get me nowhere. Especially because God has a sense of humor. I figure that if I'm supposed to get married or go on more than a few dates with someone, God will let me know. He knows what I need much better than I do.
And to completely depress at least some of you, you can make lists until the cows come home, but if you don't actively seek out that person, your list means nothing. That person who ends up with the abusive significant other does so because it's what they accept for themselves, and we also teach people how to treat us. There are some who will reject you because you're too nice or whatever. But to find those people is rare. Here's why. Those people who have that kind of self awareness about themselves and the abusive situation they're in are simply seeking out the same abuse they received in the past.
Oh! If I haven't already offended enough people today, here's something else. Having an overly detailed list tells me that you're protecting yourself, and you're afraid of being in a relationship for the most part. If you'd like to discuss this further on an individual basis, please feel free to PM me.
I can make a list of things I'd like to have, sure, but honestly I've lived long enough to know that have a strict list will get me nowhere. Especially because God has a sense of humor. I figure that if I'm supposed to get married or go on more than a few dates with someone, God will let me know. He knows what I need much better than I do.
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T
That's not a picky list, Rachel. That's a very well-thought out list. It displays maturity and integrity and fun. In a word: you!
- Loves the Lord our God with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength
- Treats my friends and family with respect
- Has a good sense of humor. Like JimJimmers said, it's not necessarily that they're always funny, but that they appreciate humor. I also appreciate someone who can make me laugh, though to be honest it's not that hard to do that. Along with that, it'd be great if he doesn't get tired of my laughing...I'm not twirling-my-hair giggly, but I am easily amused.
- Understands my introverted qualities. For example, don't push me to talk if I'm not ready. Trust me, I will eventually talk when I've had time to think things over, and I need my alone time. Though, sometimes when I cry I want a hug and not to be by myself.
- Appreciates nature/God's creation
- Deep thinker. I ask a lot of questions and like deep discussions, so if he doesn't, that might be a problem. Along those lines, he needs to be a spiritual leader, especially since many of my questions/deep discussions are theological.
- Good smile/eyes. The smile always gets me.
- Likes car rides with the windows down and music going loud
- Is patient. I can be fickle and weird sometimes; I can be very simple or very complex
- Has a few dents in his armor, meaning that he's fought some battles in his life. I've fought many in mine, and if he's lead a cozy, comfortable life with few battles, I'm not sure I'd be able to connect on that level.
That's way more in depth that I intended. Now I feel picky. Oh well. I gotta be somewhat picky if I'm going to share my life with them for the rest of my days.
- Treats my friends and family with respect
- Has a good sense of humor. Like JimJimmers said, it's not necessarily that they're always funny, but that they appreciate humor. I also appreciate someone who can make me laugh, though to be honest it's not that hard to do that.
Along with that, it'd be great if he doesn't get tired of my laughing...I'm not twirling-my-hair giggly, but I am easily amused.- Understands my introverted qualities. For example, don't push me to talk if I'm not ready. Trust me, I will eventually talk when I've had time to think things over, and I need my alone time. Though, sometimes when I cry I want a hug and not to be by myself.
- Appreciates nature/God's creation
- Deep thinker. I ask a lot of questions and like deep discussions, so if he doesn't, that might be a problem. Along those lines, he needs to be a spiritual leader, especially since many of my questions/deep discussions are theological.
- Good smile/eyes. The smile always gets me.
- Likes car rides with the windows down and music going loud
- Is patient. I can be fickle and weird sometimes; I can be very simple or very complex
- Has a few dents in his armor, meaning that he's fought some battles in his life. I've fought many in mine, and if he's lead a cozy, comfortable life with few battles, I'm not sure I'd be able to connect on that level.
That's way more in depth that I intended. Now I feel picky. Oh well. I gotta be somewhat picky if I'm going to share my life with them for the rest of my days.
A
K. My *big* list-
Christian- not the 'I go to church only at Christmas and Easter, my parents were christian so that means i am too' type, but also not the 'Charsmatic, I follow so and so tele-evangelist' type.
Enjoys some of the same things that I do: good intelligent conversations, creative, books
Doesn't spend his free time holed up in the basement playing video games.
Cares about his appearance
No G's or hoodlums
Doesn't need to have an university degree, as long as he enjoys the work he does
Is courageous. Not afraid to stand up for the things that matter. And I will be standing at his side.
Is respectable.
Lives to laugh. The wittier the sense of humor, the greater we'd get along
Someone I can joke and be a goof with
Now for the finicky stuff (as if the others weren't):
It's complete preference and isn't a deal breaker but I prefer guys with dark hair and slim; not the bodybuilder type.
Christian- not the 'I go to church only at Christmas and Easter, my parents were christian so that means i am too' type, but also not the 'Charsmatic, I follow so and so tele-evangelist' type.
Enjoys some of the same things that I do: good intelligent conversations, creative, books
Doesn't spend his free time holed up in the basement playing video games.
Cares about his appearance
No G's or hoodlums
Doesn't need to have an university degree, as long as he enjoys the work he does
Is courageous. Not afraid to stand up for the things that matter. And I will be standing at his side.
Is respectable.
Lives to laugh. The wittier the sense of humor, the greater we'd get along
Someone I can joke and be a goof with
Now for the finicky stuff (as if the others weren't):
It's complete preference and isn't a deal breaker but I prefer guys with dark hair and slim; not the bodybuilder type.
C
I feel like I've been attracted to so many different kinds of guys that a list would be kinda pointless.
I do tend to be attracted to the burlier men....kinda mountain man, outdoors type...
Ones who have a witty sense of humor.
and having the same theological beliefs as me, for the most part, is kinda important, especially since a lot of what I believe is slightly out of the "norm".
I do tend to be attracted to the burlier men....kinda mountain man, outdoors type...
Ones who have a witty sense of humor.
and having the same theological beliefs as me, for the most part, is kinda important, especially since a lot of what I believe is slightly out of the "norm".