There may have been a thousand of these...

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arwen83

Guest
#41
Hmm it appears that I would like to date myself but in male form. I'm weird. Is that egotistical? But only with the exception that he would be defender of the household against intruding spiders. I cannot kill them. So we'd be different after all. Since there isn't a male version of me out there, alas I will remain single or will have to change the list.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#42
I see confidence comes up often. Hmm... that's one attribute I have to work on.
 
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Catlynn

Guest
#43
I see confidence comes up often. Hmm... that's one attribute I have to work on.
I think a lot of people are constantly working on that one. It's really easy to get into a self-critical kinda mindset and then confidence is nowhere to be found. It's almost like a muscle that you have to exercise. Make yourself think of all of your great attributes and who you are and WHOSE you are...then it starts to come out! hehe

That's the simple version anyway, I'm sure it can be expounded on. :)
 

Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#44
I should read the thread properly...
 
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Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#45
Hmm it appears that I would like to date myself but in male form. I'm weird. Is that egotistical? But only with the exception that he would be defender of the household against intruding spiders. I cannot kill them. So we'd be different after all. Since there isn't a male version of me out there, alas I will remain single or will have to change the list.
THIS!!!!!!!! (for me) But slightly less arrogant. :D And maybe a bit more joyful.


Tintin - Yeah, always seems to be a big one for girls. Just fake it. :D (Seriously... that is essentially what confidence is right, pretending you're sure and in control when you aren't?)


Catlynn how are your theological views out of the norm? Sort of out the norm for the US, or for wider evangelical or in general? (Not asking to judge, just curious, feel free to pm this one if you'd rather not publicly reply, I don't mind either way)
 
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Catlynn

Guest
#46
PM'ed you. ^_^
 
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MissCris

Guest
#47
I used to have a list...

The only thing I can remember off of it is "must own a rubber ducky".
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#48
And does he?
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#49
Well done everyone! Great responses, and thank you for being willing to share! Well, it would appear we've made it to multiple pages, so my promise to post mine shall come to fruition. One comment before then, however:

Sometimes (or most times) what we 'want' and what we 'need' are quite different, and also...failure often teaches us much better than success. ^^0 Just some food for thought...

Reece's 'list' Story

*sigh* Where to begin...where to begin...alright,

I've dated a little over a dozen women in my life thus far. I used to have scrupulous lists which...surprisingly enough...I actually found matches for! And you know what? They didn't work. Granted, some of that was youth (which is often foolish), and other factors were circumstances outside my control. Nonetheless, here I am, and not entirely because of me.

The last girl I found who met *almost* everything on such list (and we'd thought/talked about marrying) was one I've actually mentioned in another thread (Celebrity match or something like that...). Her name is Hannah, and believe it or not (as posted in past threads), I was convicted by God one day. He told me that I'd done the whole relationship without Him, or considering His plan for me. ...and, what may be even harder to believe, felt further convicted to end that relationship. It was the first time I was the 'dumper' instead of the 'dumpee', and was one of the single most difficult and painful things I've ever done.

That said, those I've dated in the past ranged in body type (from slender to um...'healthy' if you catch my drift), and each were beautiful in their own way. Their personalities and beliefs were just as varied as their figures and experiences. So, after person from person...list from list...failure from failure...I've come to what I now present you, today...There are 3 major points, and 3 minor ones...all else (I believe) can be worked on/out:

Major

1. She has to really be trying to love God more than anything or anyone.

Alright, look, I'm not idealistic in this one where I want a saint like Mother Theresa, but I do want a woman who genuinely seeks God and tries to live her life for Him. I do that, and if she didn't, I doubt her ability to understand me coming home one day and saying, "Honey...we need pray, because I really feel like God wants us to sell everything and move to another country." (FYI: That was my parents did/were called to do.)

2. She has to love me (I mean REALLY love me) more than anyone else on Earth.

Alright, Second to God (far second, of course)...I need a loyal, devoted, SUPER loving woman to choose me over everyone else she could shower her love and affections on. As a past CC user helped me realize here, too...She even has to love me more than our children, because they will grow up and leave one day...or even, God forbid, die before we do...so I really need to fill that #2 most loved and devoted behind God slot.

3. Our relationship has to be 'God-Ordained'.

Alright, I realize this might sound strange...like God is going to say "This One" and take all the work out of it...well, that's not exactly what I'm trying say. What I am trying to say, is that God, in some way, has to 'prompt' both her and I in this relationship. Seriously, an affirmation of any kind from Him would be sufficient, but I don't want to run into another Hannah situation, personally...

Sub-note: All of these are also important as ordained/full-time ministry will be my life/has been God's calling on me.

Minor

1. Loves music/is artistic...

An intricate part of my being is music. I play it. I write it. I quote it. I listen to it. I relate with it. I use it as my expressive outlet for thoughts and feelings. I'm immersed in it daily. While she doesn't necessarily have to be a singer/musician (though that would be FANTASTIC as I small dream of mine is to sing/perform with my wife)...she does at least have to have an exceptional love and appreciation of music. It will be part of our daily lives...

2. She'll have to be pretty unique...

As affirmed by my past and present physiological council, I'm a very unique individual with deep thoughts, emotions, and a broad spectrum of experiences and contexts. I'm INFJ, mid-brained, spiritual/artistic, and have plenty of light to shine in the dark/'dings in my armor' as someone referenced on here. To be able to truly love and live with the sea of things that is 'me'...well, she'll be a very special person. To be honest, I've never met one such as this...

3. She'll likely need to excel where I fail...

Look, I'm human. I've got things that I'm rather bad at, and if she were just like me, we'd only make our strengths stronger and our vices worse! What good is that? I need a woman to balance where I'm broken, and hopefully (inversely) do the same for her. We should enrich one another in ways we wouldn't be alone...


And, as to where I am in life right now, that's everything! I know there's much more to consider, but I honestly believe if these 6 things were met...well, I don't see how it wouldn't work. I mean...as far as the 'big stuff' is concerned with me, that just about covers it.

Now, naturally, there are other crucial factors to relationship like communication, physical intimacy, fiscal responsibility, and such which are greatly important, but I would talk about those more under "relationship dynamics" or "specifics" than I would in general with such a thread as this. ^^0 Let's just say, though, I think we'd need to be good at all of them...
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#51
The only reason I make lists is because of hangups.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#52
I think I stopped making lists after I finished reading a book called "The Artists Way" back in my 20's. Between all the little tasks & list in that book to do & notes & lists I'd scribble with bible verses attached from church service,I felt like a giant post-it note from hell. I came to the conclusion that I can have lists,and plans,and desires,but unless they fall in line with God's,all I'm doing is killing another tree & giving myself carpal tunnel. LOL
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#55
THIS!!!!!!!! (for me) But slightly less arrogant. :D And maybe a bit more joyful.


Tintin - Yeah, always seems to be a big one for girls. Just fake it. :D (Seriously... that is essentially what confidence is right, pretending you're sure and in control when you aren't?)


Catlynn how are your theological views out of the norm? Sort of out the norm for the US, or for wider evangelical or in general? (Not asking to judge, just curious, feel free to pm this one if you'd rather not publicly reply, I don't mind either way)
It does make you wonder, doesn't it...?
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#56
I'm an intelligence snob. The guy I'm with has to be smart, witty, sarcastic, and be able to banter.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#57
I'm an intelligence snob. The guy I'm with has to be smart, witty, sarcastic, and be able to banter.
*plugs paper shredder in...inserts my resume* **sobs in corner to the metallic din of shredder teeth caught on a staple**
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#58
K. My *big* list-

{snippy snip}

Is respectable.
Aaaaaaaaand then every single man on CC collectively groaned and said, "Well, darn."

I'm just teasing. I know the pain with the Christmas/Easter Christian, though. My city is overflowing with them, primarily Christmas/Easter Catholics. Sooooo frustrating. >_<
 
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Ugly

Guest
#60
I'm so awesome no woman could ever be good enough for me! (is that confident enough?)