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G
I never wanted to be anything like my father. He was verbally and physically abusive to his wife and children. He was a raging alcoholic and a racist. Somehow he still managed to be a somewhat successful small businessman, but life at home was pure hell. I grew up watching my mom getting physically beaten and drug around the house by her hair. I spent a lot of time hiding under beds and in the closet. My mother finally ran away with my sister, brother and I when we were still little kids. After that I only saw my father occasionally, but even that was too often. He spent most of these visits ranting about how my mother and his children had ruined his life and calling my mom just about every name he could think of other than her actual name. He was extremely racist too. He did business with black, Asian and Hispanic people and while conducting business he'd be all smiles and warm handshakes and yes sir and no ma'am, but the second they left he'd call them every kind of racist name he could think of and then laugh about how at least their money was the right color. The last time I saw him he punched me in the face for defending my mother. Busted my nose (didn't break it). I was about fifteen. After that I stopped having anything to do with him and ignored his repeated requests for me to come and see him when he was sick in the hospital. He ended up passing away. I didn't attend his funeral either. So now his side of the family hates my guts. But all in all I've used him as an example of everything to not be as a father, as a man and as a Christian (he always claimed to be one, obviously he wasn't).
I
TY for sharing such a personal story Cajun. I can relate to many aspects of your story,as mine is similar in a few ways. I won't bother to go into detail because it would really need it's own thread entirely. I will say that God has been the best role model for me,as my flesh & blood Dad certainly was not. I don't blame him...he had his own demons. I think also GreenNnice was hoping we'd have some good Dad stories where God redeemed or taught us something via our interaction...a'la steel sharpens steel moments. lol At least with you & I Cajun we know what not to be like as a Dad. (well,I don't plan on having kids,but I can be one to a child)
B
I am pretty close to someone who would readily identify with certain elements in Cajun's story. Her story is a little different tho... in that her father is still alive... and she is beginning to see the fingerprints of God on her father's life, still prays for his salvation and continues in hope to see that come to fruition... and that would be a miraculous redemption indeed. Be encouraged. 
A
I never realized what an amazing dad I have until I went to high school and learned that a bunch of my friends didn't have good relationships with their own fathers. One of my close friend's dad was verbally abusive and uncaring. He eventually went nuts, got locked up and threatened to kill her mother and then himself. She doesn't talk about him much anymore but as far as I know he's still locked up in a mental hospital. Other friends lost their fathers to cancer when they were little. One friend's step father was a real jerk and I'm not sure if there was sexual abuse involved in that relationship. After learning all of that I now praise God constantly for giving me a father that works hard for his family, who is funny and gentle, has a soft spot for animals and isn't afraid to be affectionate with my mom in front of us. Sure, he's really stubborn, opinionated, obnoxious and drinks a little more than necessary for a man in his 60's... but I couldn't ask for a better dad. It makes me sad when I read or hear stories about people who never had a relationship with their dad's. They are so important in our lives. The young men and women who never had that strong father figure missed a lot, but they can also develop into strong individuals who learnt from their father's mistakes and do the complete opposite. My parents didn't have what I would consider to be the strongest father figure in their lives. I think that's why they are who they are.
G
It's all good, LIGHTman, that's like superman but different, if ya were wonderin' But, yeah, some positive stories too is good, but the negative ones, indeed, can help us grow, thx for sharing green-eyed cajun, I pray the Lord has led you well, from that ordeal and experience of life growing up with that kind of dad. I pray he saw the way you defended your mom (what for?) and, maybe, on his deathbed, accepted Christ. I know, you might not say that. I pray you do, too. We need to love our enemies and I am guessing your dad probably persecuted your being a Chrsitian too if you were, and, I'm guessing, your mom was a Christian. Just guessing, but the 1 Cor. 'unequally yoked' verse, I think, is a good one to follow, for many reasons.
My dad story helping me become a better working man, anyway, become a 'man,' hmm, I don't know, it probably helped that too, I will tell it later, I am tired, had a long day, God bless you all, you too girl with a geee-tar, and, barlygirly, for sharing . The Lord leads, I will comment later, too, on what was said, I'll probe you, too LIGHTupthe sky
But, yeah, some positive stories too is good, but the negative ones, indeed, can help us grow, thx for sharing green-eyed cajun, I pray the Lord has led you well, from that ordeal and experience of life growing up with that kind of dad. I pray he saw the way you defended your mom (what for?) and, maybe, on his deathbed, accepted Christ. I know, you might not say that. I pray you do, too. We need to love our enemies and I am guessing your dad probably persecuted your being a Chrsitian too if you were, and, I'm guessing, your mom was a Christian. Just guessing, but the 1 Cor. 'unequally yoked' verse, I think, is a good one to follow, for many reasons. My dad story helping me become a better working man, anyway, become a 'man,' hmm, I don't know, it probably helped that too, I will tell it later, I am tired, had a long day, God bless you all, you too girl with a geee-tar, and, barlygirly, for sharing . The Lord leads, I will comment later, too, on what was said, I'll probe you, too LIGHTupthe sky
My dad died when I was 16 from cancer. I think my dad was Bi polar. He and I had a good relationship. I think because I was the youngest. My brother and he didn't. My dad was moody, but he worked very hard. My Dad taught me when you want something you work hard for it.
After being single for 26 years my Mom remarried a wonderful man. He is a great step dad and Grandpa to my kids. He's Catholic and he and I have many discussions about how good God is. l love him dearly.
After being single for 26 years my Mom remarried a wonderful man. He is a great step dad and Grandpa to my kids. He's Catholic and he and I have many discussions about how good God is. l love him dearly.
G
My dad is a logging contractor, done a lot of land development for the state of Washington, all over, had crews, etc. Great guy, great dad, horrible boss. Until....
When I was 18, fresh out of high school, I began working for dear ole dad. I ran a skidder, that's a big CAT tractor with 40" high rubber tires instead of tracks like a bulldozer. A skidder is used to either grab logs with a grapple or used chokers, I've used both, it's tough work but both are fun to do, hopping on and off a skidder or using hydraulic controls to go along an acreage of fell trees and pick them up in an efficient pattern, sweeping the area. Anyway, when I started out, it was choker skidder logging for me, and, I struggled. Did I ever !
On a typical day, I was bringing in around 1/2 load of logs to the landing, where the log truck loader used a boom to pick up the logs and put them in a log truck. So, yeah, you probably seen that reality show tv stuff on now of Timberjacks, skidding, falling trees, using machines to fall trees I call 'feller-bunchers,' etc, anyway, yeah, well, praise God, I LIVED it ! It was fun when I finally was good at it, but that took a long time. I worked for dad before going off to college my freshman year, then, I didn't work for him again until I was age 22. I worked hard, it was not that I was not trying, I was not understanding and dad's constant negative way of trying to help me was never helping me. He never said positive, encouraging things of the way I was skidding and it was NO FUN! I went a year straight , maybe, even a year and a half, of doing that same 1/2 load skidded into the landing per day, maybe, I was up to 1 load on my best days. But, yeah, I knew that I could do better and I knew what I needed to do to get better.....
One day, I was out on a job, zooming in and over stumps, doing ultimate 4-wheeling , hooking up logs with chokers, dragging them into the landing, when I was still, because of my dad's way of talking to me all the time on the job--negatively!--not having fun at all, in fact, I was so upset at my dad that I blew up at the end of a workday when he once again came into my face, yelling at the way I was doing things wrong.
"You don't do things like that, son, you are making a lot more work for yourself by doing it that way," he said, or, something close to it, because that's how he ALWAYS talked to me.
So, I finally had had it , and, I blew up in my dad's face about two hours shy of the 10 hour workday's completion, for really the first time ever in front of my dad, I'd kept my feelings completely inside until NOW .
"I am sick and tired of all your negativity all the time telling me things, never positive, never, NEVER, NEVER . I'm not just walking off the job now today, and, not coming back, I am never going to speak to you again if you can't show me some positiveness in your negative criticism to me all day long !!!"
That was it, I hopped off the skidder, grabbed my lunchpail and walked right to my truck and left.
Dad called me a day or two later, when I didn't show up for work, and, said, 'Son, I have a hard time being postive, I am trying to teach you the best way I know how."
That was it. Dad never even said he would change, I didn't need him too, that there was the end of the problem and I did begin to skid more logs per day, and, my $10 per hour pay went straight to $20 per hour, because I was then skidding 4-5 log truck loads to the landing per day.
Guys, IF you have a problem with your dad right now, first, go to God, and, I know, I did not mention God in this story, there's a reason for that, I was not real close to God at this time, I wish I would have, I would have not waited what was an excruciating year and a half to talk to my dad about how he treated me on the job, verbally abusing me, as I saw it.
The strange thing too, and, maybe, why dad did not have to give much apology is that off the job dad was soooo different, he was a great dad, we did things together, he NEVER yelled at me. It was just on the job that his personality was 180 degrees different from real life with him. But, it began eating away at me and I'm sure God was there, I'd accepted Him when I was 14 and He was trying to get my backslidden self back to Him, and, I never did leave God, was just lukewarm so I was spit out and having to work out that I did not want that relationship with God and my changed, positive relationship with my dad did lead to better life things, as I remember now, once I boldly came before my dad and released my frustrations. I felt so good, so good ! after having done that expulsion of emotion on the job, do NOT hold it in there, guys, bring it to h(H)im
When I was 18, fresh out of high school, I began working for dear ole dad. I ran a skidder, that's a big CAT tractor with 40" high rubber tires instead of tracks like a bulldozer. A skidder is used to either grab logs with a grapple or used chokers, I've used both, it's tough work but both are fun to do, hopping on and off a skidder or using hydraulic controls to go along an acreage of fell trees and pick them up in an efficient pattern, sweeping the area. Anyway, when I started out, it was choker skidder logging for me, and, I struggled. Did I ever !
On a typical day, I was bringing in around 1/2 load of logs to the landing, where the log truck loader used a boom to pick up the logs and put them in a log truck. So, yeah, you probably seen that reality show tv stuff on now of Timberjacks, skidding, falling trees, using machines to fall trees I call 'feller-bunchers,' etc, anyway, yeah, well, praise God, I LIVED it ! It was fun when I finally was good at it, but that took a long time. I worked for dad before going off to college my freshman year, then, I didn't work for him again until I was age 22. I worked hard, it was not that I was not trying, I was not understanding and dad's constant negative way of trying to help me was never helping me. He never said positive, encouraging things of the way I was skidding and it was NO FUN! I went a year straight , maybe, even a year and a half, of doing that same 1/2 load skidded into the landing per day, maybe, I was up to 1 load on my best days. But, yeah, I knew that I could do better and I knew what I needed to do to get better.....
One day, I was out on a job, zooming in and over stumps, doing ultimate 4-wheeling
, hooking up logs with chokers, dragging them into the landing, when I was still, because of my dad's way of talking to me all the time on the job--negatively!--not having fun at all, in fact, I was so upset at my dad that I blew up at the end of a workday when he once again came into my face, yelling at the way I was doing things wrong. "You don't do things like that, son, you are making a lot more work for yourself by doing it that way," he said, or, something close to it, because that's how he ALWAYS talked to me.
So, I finally had had it , and, I blew up in my dad's face about two hours shy of the 10 hour workday's completion, for really the first time ever in front of my dad, I'd kept my feelings completely inside until NOW .
"I am sick and tired of all your negativity all the time telling me things, never positive, never, NEVER, NEVER . I'm not just walking off the job now today, and, not coming back, I am never going to speak to you again if you can't show me some positiveness in your negative criticism to me all day long !!!"
That was it, I hopped off the skidder, grabbed my lunchpail and walked right to my truck and left.
Dad called me a day or two later, when I didn't show up for work, and, said, 'Son, I have a hard time being postive, I am trying to teach you the best way I know how."
That was it. Dad never even said he would change, I didn't need him too, that there was the end of the problem and I did begin to skid more logs per day, and, my $10 per hour pay went straight to $20 per hour, because I was then skidding 4-5 log truck loads to the landing per day.
Guys, IF you have a problem with your dad right now, first, go to God, and, I know, I did not mention God in this story, there's a reason for that, I was not real close to God at this time, I wish I would have, I would have not waited what was an excruciating year and a half to talk to my dad about how he treated me on the job, verbally abusing me, as I saw it.
The strange thing too, and, maybe, why dad did not have to give much apology is that off the job dad was soooo different, he was a great dad, we did things together, he NEVER yelled at me. It was just on the job that his personality was 180 degrees different from real life with him. But, it began eating away at me and I'm sure God was there, I'd accepted Him when I was 14 and He was trying to get my backslidden self back to Him, and, I never did leave God, was just lukewarm so I was spit out and having to work out that I did not want that relationship with God and my changed, positive relationship with my dad did lead to better life things, as I remember now, once I boldly came before my dad and released my frustrations. I felt so good, so good ! after having done that expulsion of emotion on the job, do NOT hold it in there, guys, bring it to h(H)im
Me and my dad had a great relationship till i was about 10 goign to football games, boy scouts, little league and all. As i grew older it got worse. The worst point was we got into a physical fight not abuse just two people going at it. I moved out shortly thereafter and stayed gone till i went to college. Since I went to and graduated school we have rebuilt our relationship and realized that even though we do still have a father son relationship we just are two different personalitywise to really spend extended (think 2 weeks or more) amounts of time together.