i wanna be single my boyfriend says God told him to get married...

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sistaoffaith

Guest
#1
#1
I've been engaged for a year, at first I was really excited about marriage, but after time the excitement is gone. I started thinking about a life time commitment and how close I am becoming to God and I don't feel the same about marriage. I have a deep desire to remain single. My fiancé insists that God showed him that I am the one and even with my confession of not wanting marriage he insist that God will give him the desire of his heart and that I am the one and we will be married. I am starting to resent him because its like he forcing something that is really not in my heart or that God hasn't gave me any peace about, has anyone been in this situation where God provided a soul mate or that they just knew the person they were with was or was not the one for them.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#2
#2
Ummm...it really doesn't matter what God showed him,if God didn't show you that he's the one yer' to be with & you have no desire right now to get married...by all means DO NOT!!!! If God hasn't given you peace then run run run. You need to stand firm & tell him this. If he won't listen to you alone...get some good christian friends, Yer' pastor..parents ...& confront him with them present.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#3
#3
Sounds like you're being manipulated by your boyfriend. Heck of a tactic, using "God told me", but it's not the first time anyone's done it.

Just say no, and all that.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
I agree. No means no. Give him the ring back and walk away.
 
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BarlyGurl

Guest
#5
#5
... Aside from his spiritual manipulation... she might just have cold feet and be spiritualizing singleness in the same manner her boyfriend is trying to convince her by spiritualizing the issue??? probably best to part company cold turkey for at least a month or so to see what "God has to say" after the separation...maybe?
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#6
Apr 18, 2013
9,339
2,427
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#6
I think if you both met with the pastor at your church for a counseling session, as soon as you shared your own feelings... the pastor would say some very enlightening things. And your boyfriend would have to listen.

Quite possibly your pastor could put things in terms your boyfriend could understand or accept better.

But in a nutshell, nobody should be getting married if they don't want to be married.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#7
#7
You should pray for him and yourself. Make sure that you keep strong and let God be your matchmaker
 
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SeatBelt

Guest
#8
#8
I Almost agree with Julli... except I say sell the ring & use the $ to get yer self outta there. this is Obviously a fella that is not going to be inclined to take no for an answer.
 
O

oOfallen_angelOo

Guest
#9
#9
sistaoffaith said:
I've been engaged for a year, at first I was really excited about marriage, but after time the excitement is gone. I started thinking about a life time commitment and how close I am becoming to God and I don't feel the same about marriage. I have a deep desire to remain single. My fiancé insists that God showed him that I am the one and even with my confession of not wanting marriage he insist that God will give him the desire of his heart and that I am the one and we will be married. I am starting to resent him because its like he forcing something that is really not in my heart or that God hasn't gave me any peace about, has anyone been in this situation where God provided a soul mate or that they just knew the person they were with was or was not the one for them.
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God is going to give him the desires of his heart?

That sounds really selfish.

If your not okay with getting married, then I wouldn't until your certain. Marriage doesn't gurantee you'll work out, but that's even with couples who are all over each other and so excited to be married, end up divorcing in some cases. How much more then, to not be excited or uneasy about it?

If he believes God is talking to him and wants him to marry you, then why aren't you feeling the same way? If it's God's will, then why are you feeling this way ya know?
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#10
#10
SeatBelt said:
I Almost agree with Julli... except I say sell the ring & use the $ to get yer self outta there. this is Obviously a fella that is not going to be inclined to take no for an answer.
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Technically, etiquette is that if SHE breaks it off with him, she's supposed to give the ring back. *coughs* Just saying, yo. (If HE breaks it off, she gets to do whatever she wants with it.)
 
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SeatBelt

Guest
#11
#11
Shouryu said:
Technically, etiquette is that if SHE breaks it off with him, she's supposed to give the ring back. *coughs* Just saying, yo. (If HE breaks it off, she gets to do whatever she wants with it.)
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Yeah, and etiquette also says that one does not claim to know the mind of a deity to get a girl to wed or in bed. The way I look at it, he gave it to her once, it's hers to dispose of as she sees fit.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#12
#12
sistaoffaith said:
I've been engaged for a year, at first I was really excited about marriage, but after time the excitement is gone. I started thinking about a life time commitment and how close I am becoming to God and I don't feel the same about marriage. I have a deep desire to remain single. My fiancé insists that God showed him that I am the one and even with my confession of not wanting marriage he insist that God will give him the desire of his heart and that I am the one and we will be married. I am starting to resent him because its like he forcing something that is really not in my heart or that God hasn't gave me any peace about, has anyone been in this situation where God provided a soul mate or that they just knew the person they were with was or was not the one for them.
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I've learned to be leery of anyone that says 'God told me...'. Rarely is that ever the case. If i were you, i'd do what you feel is right, not what someone else's idea of pushing you into what they want, and using God's name to justify it.
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#13
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#13
Hmm. Seems a tad bit sketchy to me. At the very least I recommend taking a break, seek godly counsel, and pray. Praying for you.
 
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FAITHFULGILLIAN

Guest
#14
#14
MissCris said:
Sounds like you're being manipulated by your boyfriend. Heck of a tactic, using "God told me", but it's not the first time anyone's done it.

Just say no, and all that.
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i agree that it does sound like very self- centred controlling behaviour . And trying to hide behind God to get your own way is least Christian thing you can do.
 
SarahM777

SarahM777

Banned
#15
Dec 26, 2012
5,853
137
0
#15
sistaoffaith said:
I've been engaged for a year, at first I was really excited about marriage, but after time the excitement is gone. I started thinking about a life time commitment and how close I am becoming to God and I don't feel the same about marriage. I have a deep desire to remain single. My fiancé insists that God showed him that I am the one and even with my confession of not wanting marriage he insist that God will give him the desire of his heart and that I am the one and we will be married. I am starting to resent him because its like he forcing something that is really not in my heart or that God hasn't gave me any peace about, has anyone been in this situation where God provided a soul mate or that they just knew the person they were with was or was not the one for them.
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UMM Quick question How do you know that you are to remain single? What are you basing it on? Most people are to marry. Where did God say we are to base things just on our feelings? Feelings come and go,otherwise people would not "fall in and out" of love.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#16
#16
Most people are to marry? According to?
 
SarahM777

SarahM777

Banned
#17
Dec 26, 2012
5,853
137
0
#17
Ugly said:
Most people are to marry? According to?
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The very first command that God gave to all of creation was to be fruitful and multiple.

Jesus also only gave three cases of celibacy,which again would indicate God's plan is for most to be married.

The three cases are those who are made eunuchs by men,those born as eunuchs,and those who chose to be so for THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM.

In Jesus own words

Matthew 19

[SUP]10 [/SUP]The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

[SUP]11 [/SUP]Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. [SUP]12 [/SUP]For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Jesus restricts it down to those to whom it has been given.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#18
#18
SarahM777 said:
UMM Quick question How do you know that you are to remain single? What are you basing it on? Most people are to marry. Where did God say we are to base things just on our feelings? Feelings come and go,otherwise people would not "fall in and out" of love.
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I've never married and don't have any plans to anywhere in the future near or beyond.

Paul also said don't marry if you don't need to.
 
SarahM777

SarahM777

Banned
#19
Dec 26, 2012
5,853
137
0
#19
FireWire said:
I've never married and don't have any plans to anywhere in the future near or beyond.

Paul also said don't marry if you don't need to.
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I never said that there weren't those who would not marry,just that it should not be very common. Most should be married.
Being celibate should not drive one crazy,in the sense that being alone is not a big deal,not having children should not be a big deal,going places by yourself should not be a big deal,sex itself should not be much of a drive. Dealing with any or all of the above should point one to being married and not celibate.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#20
#20
SarahM777 said:
The very first command that God gave to all of creation was to be fruitful and multiple.

Jesus also only gave three cases of celibacy,which again would indicate God's plan is for most to be married.

The three cases are those who are made eunuchs by men,those born as eunuchs,and those who chose to be so for THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM.

In Jesus own words

Matthew 19

[SUP]10 [/SUP]The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

[SUP]11 [/SUP]Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.[SUP]12 [/SUP]For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Jesus restricts it down to those to whom it has been given.
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This didn't prove anything, sorry.
 
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