How Do Girls Show Interest Without Putting themselves in the Pursuer role?

[Silex]

If you are going to take the plunge and tell your feelings (okay, this applies to both genders) then be prepared to be rejected.

When you open up to someone, you're taking a risk of being shut down. Don't expect that just because you feel a certain way about the other person, they'll feel the same way about you.

To gain something, you should be willing to lose something. If you're not willing to lose, and you do lose, then you'll just get bitter, and nasty, and grumpy, and open a new thread here and start fussing, and more grumpy, feel sorry and depressed, and cry, and then eat, and eat more, and even more, and then get overweight, and then have two reasons to cry and be grumpy about.

But if you don't let yourself be bothered by rejection, and you aren't afraid of it, then when you do get rejected, you don't lose your spirit. You don't get discouraged. Instead of being bitter at that person, or thinking you're a loser, you'll just say "It just didn't work out this time" and keep going forward.

Statistically speaking, eventually you will meet someone who will say "yes" to you.

Sure, there are a lot of things you can do (and avoid) to give yourself a statistical advantage. But that's a different topic.

 

[cookie39]

I would say that I am blessed with pretty good looks, so for all my life I have grown very custom to men persuing me, if I exchanged phone numbers I would never be the first to call and no matter how well of the man is; I would never call him if he don't call first. sweet heart; that is the way of the world in which is soon found out. I met this man, we became friends and I found out as I got to know him he was everything I desired to have in a man to spend the rest of my life with,,,,

I flirted, I put out the hints that I was interested, I told him over and over again that I hope I find someone just like him... ( LOL ) He just said the same things back to me ( LOL ) I wanted him and I didn't want him to get away... Soooo I said' " I claim him to be my husband in the Name of Jesus, and I started telling everyone else that he was my husband and I was going to marry him

now how was this going to happen when he always talking bout when he find his wife that God has for him as tho hinting I was not the one. I prayed about it and God told me what to do.... God said tell him... I said nooo .. that makes women seem desparate.... anyway after God shew me that is whatthe world say about women and I have to step out my box and into his truths. so I told him how I felt and at first I thought he was telling me no cause he said that God was going to show him a sign and at the same time God put the sign in my heart without me knowing that my desire to do something to make my friend my future husband was actually the sign he was asking God for. and now we are married.... Praise God for his powers.
I told him that I really liked him and all the reasons why, and i would love it if he would give it a chance that we can be more than just friend..... He had alresdy knew alot about me cause we were already friend, and I him. it was the hardest thing I ever did in a long time and the embarresment had me hardly sleeping cause I wonder what was he thinking about me now. I told him on the phone.. LOL... but all-in-all we must walk by faith and not by site and if you believe God for this man ( and he/she is a man/woman of God ) then step out on that faith;; faith without works is dead. and never ever think things is going to happen the way it always worked in the world when it comes to how God will do it.... cause everything about this relationship happen so different from all that I have ever known. when God told me to step out of my box and I obeyed I got blessed with an amazing man of God.... he is everything in my flesh that I said that I would not have or do.... but he is everything that and plus what my heart desired to have and that is what God looks at the heart... so I say pray about, have faith in god and not in yourself and step out and get your man.... and the Glory will go to God.. and i am touching n agreeeing with you on that in the Name of Jesus.. Amen.

 

[Gabrielle]

I want to show that I am interested in a friend but I do not want to be the one pursuing. I feel like that is the man's role and to be quite honest am way to scared to put myself on the line completely. What do you guys think?

You know sometimes you just have to let things happen. Believe me because I was interested in a guy once who apparently liked me back from what I was told. So I laughed at all his lame corny jokes, smiled, talked to him, tried to be his friend and hoped that he would ask me out one day, but he never did. He flirted with me and complimented me all the time, but for whatever reason he never initiated anything. Needless to say I met someone else who liked me and initiated. I am glad I didn't throw myself in the other guy's face or initiate because I would not be with the amazing guy I am with now. Just enjoy being his friend, pray, trust God and let him bring the right guy into your life

 

[buckeyegirl700]

I am really nervous when it comes to meeting new guys and letting them know that I am interested. I fear rejection and I have never dated a christian man. I do not know how to act around them. I used to just walk up to guys and flirt and see how they react but now that I am a christian I believe it is the guys place to show interest in me. If God puts the desire for a man to want to get to know me better I believe he should come to me. I also feel if a guy really wants to get to know a women he will let her know. I could be wrong about this though.

 

[Leilaii425]

I usually put men through a battery of very mind challenging tests first. After he has passed his colors test and the ABC test, i will then bestow upon him pursuelnessess

 

[miles]

I want to show that I am interested in a friend but I do not want to be the one pursuing. I feel like that is the man's role and to be quite honest am way to scared to put myself on the line completely. What do you guys think?

---a simple SMILE directed at him will do (a hint that you are approachable)...just be yourself...and leave the rest to fate...

 

[nickiturton]

play hard to get?? haha.
treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen

 

[penguingal]

Don't live in a world of 'what if'. Like Matthew said, go for the plunge and tell him you like him. If he likes you too, great. If not, just laugh it off, be cool about it and stay as good friends. I like this guy for the longest time but I always thought he was gonna be a priest one day. Then many years down the road I met him again (online) and realize what I heard all these years was not true. Anyway, it wasn't easy but I pulled up the courage to ask if he was seeing anyone at the moment. He said he was and I was cool about it and we are still friends today. =)

 

[Clement]

To be honest,
Some guys actually don't know ur into them even though u smile or do whatever to them.
They just don't get it...lol
They actually need to be told
So I don't know if ur guy falls under this category..

 

[resurrection33]

Shouldn’t the man and woman both pursue a little bit? It’s embarrassing to pursue, and if the lady doesn’t show some appreciation, what choice does he have but to give up?

 

[Johnoble]

GO pursue him, otherwise he's not going to know about it. The norm is that the guy will go and pursue what he wants, but take this opportunity to go out of the ordinary and do things yourself.