Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

[Descyple]

If you were to write your own "Book of Love" regarding what you envision love to be, what would you call it and what would the chapter titles be?

As a more fun alternative, if you were to write your own "Book of Substitutes" regarding what you put in the place of missing love in your life, what would you call it and what would the chapter titles be?


For those of you who know me, this thread is meant to be humorous. For those of you who don't know me, I feel sorry for you!!!


My own Book of Substitutes would be called.......

"Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

Subtitle - Cocoa Beans Are The Balm of the Solitary Soul

Chapter 1 - Love Is Temporary, But Fudge Is Forever

Chapter 2 - Everything I Do, I Do It For Cake (Why Bryan Adams Got It Wrong)

Chapter 3 - Choose Tummy Aches, Not Heart Aches

 

[Bryancampbell]

"The Institute of Emotional Warfare"

Chapter 1 - The Woman
Chapter 2 - Understand the Woman
Chapter 3 - The Mother
Chapter 4 - The Woman's Mother
Chapter 5 - How to Endure Hell
Chapter 6 - The Break Up aka Escaping Hell
Chapter 7 - Sucking the Pipe of Self-Esteem
Chapter 8 - Losing Your Fugly to Mr. Ugly
Chapter 9 - Finding True Love
Chapter 10 - The Gospel (this chapter contains the book of John from the bible)
Chapter 11- Giving Your Life to a Greater Love
Chapter 12 - Meeting Another Woman the Way Intended
Chapter 13 - Live, Love, and Forgive
Chapter 14 - Peace with God

 

[AzureAfire]

Well, you sure got the ball rolling to yet another epic thread / fun house / crazy house / epic crazy fun house, Descyple XD

Hmm...my Book of Substitutes would be called...

"Get Lost in Tamriel, not in Love"

Subtitle: Why it's more fun breaking dragon skulls than breaking hearts (specially yours)

Chapter 1: Finding the right outfit (Heavy vs. Light armor, and why "pretty in pink" is not a good option)

Chapter 2: Searching for the One (Why looks mean nothing compared to the potential to power up a soul gem)

Chapter 3: Sweet Dreams (Why resting and levelling gives more satisfaction than dreaming romantic nonsense)

 

[Descyple]

Well, you sure got the ball rolling to yet another epic thread / fun house / crazy house / epic crazy fun house, Descyple XD

Hmm...my Book of Substitutes would be called...

"Get Lost in Tamriel, not in Love"

Subtitle: Why it's more fun breaking dragon skulls than breaking hearts (specially yours)

Chapter 1: Finding the right outfit (Heavy vs. Light armor, and why "pretty in pink" is not a good option)

Chapter 2: Searching for the One (Why looks mean nothing compared to the potential to power up a soul gem)

Chapter 3: Sweet Dreams (Why resting and levelling gives more satisfaction than dreaming romantic nonsense)

Ah yes, the sweet call of battle from "The Elder Scrolls". A fine choice for a substitute, AzureAfire. Please let me know when your book will be coming out (and please autograph my copy with the name Sydalka Velwyr).

 

[DuchessAimee]

Title: What's Love Got to Do With It? An Autobiography.

Chapter One: Talk Nerdy to Me.

Chapter Two: Worthy Obsessions... From Accordions to Zebus.

Chapter Three: Beware of Chickens

Chapter Four: Tights Are Not Pants: A Dissertation

Chapter Five: Glacinda the Troll

Chapter Six: Hug Me. I'm Great.

 

[Descyple]

Title: What's Love Got to Do With It? An Autobiography.

Chapter One: Talk Nerdy to Me.

Chapter Two: Worthy Obsessions... From Accordions to Zebus.

Chapter Three: Beware of Chickens

Chapter Four: Tights Are Not Pants: A Dissertation

Chapter Five: Glacinda the Troll

Chapter Six: Hug Me. I'm Great.

DuchessAimee, I would be very interested in reading your book, but I might skip chapter three (it just sounds scary!!!).

 

[DuchessAimee]

Chickens are tasty but mean... lol

 

[Donkeyfish07]

"The Institute of Emotional Warfare"

Chapter 1 - The Woman
Chapter 2 - Understand the Woman
Chapter 3 - The Mother
Chapter 4 - The Woman's Mother
Chapter 5 - How to Endure Hell
Chapter 6 - The Break Up aka Escaping Hell
Chapter 7 - Sucking the Pipe of Self-Esteem
Chapter 8 - Losing Your Fugly to Mr. Ugly
Chapter 9 - Finding True Love
Chapter 10 - The Gospel (this chapter contains the book of John from the bible)
Chapter 11- Giving Your Life to a Greater Love
Chapter 12 - Meeting Another Woman the Way Intended
Chapter 13 - Live, Love, and Forgive
Chapter 14 - Peace with God

Ha ha ha ha ha.....Good luck with Chapter 2

 

[AzureAfire]

Ah yes, the sweet call of battle from "The Elder Scrolls". A fine choice for a substitute, AzureAfire. Please let me know when your book will be coming out (and please autograph my copy with the name Sydalka Velwyr).

Shhh...that's my secret agent's name, Descyple if "they" find out that you know too much about me, i'll have to "silence" you XD

I'll mail you said book with my autograph on it XD the compliments are much appreciated!

I'm having a slow day XD expect a follow-up volume on this book

 

[Searching4Truth]

Earthly Perspective Book 1

Chapter 1 - Once upon a time...
Chapter 2 - Ignorance is bliss
Chapter 3 - When reality strikes
Chapter 4 - Coping, and stuff like it (part 1)
Chapter 5 - Coping, and stuff like it (part 2)
Chapter 6 - Moving on (part 1)
Chapter 7 - Moving on (part 2)
Chapter 8 - Redefining, and Rediscovering
Chapter 9 - The Spirit of Truth
Chapter 10 - With all your Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength
Chapter 11 - "If anyone loves me..."
chapter 12 - "...for love is from God..."

It'll be a Times best selling series among the pseudo intellectual christian types out there.


(Their money has to be put to good use.)

 

[shawntc]

Oh gosh my book of substitutes would be terribly nerdy, philosophical, and boring.

"Alternatives to Love"
Ch. 1: "The Love-Shaped Hole" (musings on the feelings of being loved, and what would be needed to satisfy it to any degree.)
Ch. 2: "God"
Ch. 3: "Friendships"
Ch. 4: "Hobbies"
Ch. 5: "Pets"
Ch. 6: "Setting and Achieving Goals"
Ch. 7: "The Loneliest Hours"
Ch. 8: "Later Years"
Ch. 9: "Leaving Something Behind"
Appendix A: Bibliography

My book of love would probably be called "Boring ol' Love" and have a pragmatic approach to love and things therein.

 

[Descyple]

Some more chapter titles from my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

Chapter 4 - "How To Fall In Love With Chocolate All Over Again"

Chapter 5 - "Relationships Are Like A Box of Chocolates, Sometimes They Make You Puke"

Chapter 6 - "Don't Spread Around Love, Spread Nutella"

 

[arwen83]

How did I miss this thread?!

I'm not sure how to answer this thread about myself. I think I will end up listing off pseudo 'self-help' books in general. Much like my 'Threads You Will Never See In The Singles Forum' thread. I think I am just confused :/

 

[arwen83]

Descyple, is this thread just like mine but instead of singles forum, its books? Cus if it is *shakes fist*, watch out buddy boy. I know people. TORONTO people. The meanest in the country. Be scared. VERY SCARED.

 

[Fenner]

My book title.

Love is grand, now make me a sandwich.

 

[AsifinPassing]

Reeceian Theology: The Book of Love

Section 1: Setting the Stage

CH 1 (of 37) - What is Love? (No, not Haddaway...)

CH 2 - What is NOT love?

CH 3 - Divine Love vs Human Love

CH 4 - Sex

CH 5 - Intimacy

CH 6 - Marriage

CH 7 - Singleness

...*writer's block, review, revision, thoughts on ending this section, thoughts on next session, vague cliffhanger message to expectants for book*...

 

[Descyple]

Some more chapter titles from my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

Chapter 7 - "Men Are From Mars, That's Why We Eat Mars Bars"

Chapter 8 - "Take A *Break* From Women and Eat A Kit Kat"

Chapter 9 - "Why a Chocolate Induced Sugar-Rush Is More Exhilarating Than A First Date"

Chapter 10 - "Why Am I Still Writing When I Could Go Devour A Sundae?"

 

[Fenner]

Now that we're married will you shave my back? A man's book of questions for his wife on their wedding night.

 

[Descyple]

Here are chapters 11-13 of my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"


Chapter 11 - "The Word Chocolate Has More Letters Than The Word Love - Which Means You Get More Out of Chocolate"

Chapter 12 - "Why I Am More Moved By The Scent of A Chocolate Bar Wrapper Than A Woman's Perfume"

Chapter 13 - "When A Woman Breaks Your Heart, Don't Get Revenge, Get Chocolate-Induced Diabetes: That Will Teach Her A Lesson"

 

[Descyple]

I just finished chapters 14,15 and 16 of my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

Chapter 14 - "Why Expiry Dates on Chocolates Last Longer Than Expiry Dates on Relationships"

Chapter 15 - "The Way to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach, So The First Woman To Fill My Belly With Triple Chocolate-Chip Brownie Sundaes Wins My Heart"

Chapter 16 - "How to Let Go of a Woman and Grab Hold of a Ticket To Niagara Falls to Bask in the Heavenliness of the Hershey Chocolate World Store - Or What I Like To Call The Greatest Place On Earth!!!"