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Thread: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

  1. #1
    Senior Member Descyple's Avatar
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    Default Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    If you were to write your own "Book of Love" regarding what you envision love to be, what would you call it and what would the chapter titles be?

    As a more fun alternative, if you were to write your own "Book of Substitutes" regarding what you put in the place of missing love in your life, what would you call it and what would the chapter titles be?


    For those of you who know me, this thread is meant to be humorous. For those of you who don't know me, I feel sorry for you!!!


    My own Book of Substitutes would be called.......

    "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

    Subtitle - Cocoa Beans Are The Balm of the Solitary Soul

    Chapter 1 - Love Is Temporary, But Fudge Is Forever

    Chapter 2 - Everything I Do, I Do It For Cake (Why Bryan Adams Got It Wrong)

    Chapter 3 - Choose Tummy Aches, Not Heart Aches
    phil36, Jilly81, arwen83 and 2 others like this.
    "Grace is Christ's portrait drawn on the soul." - Thomas Watson

  2. #2
    Bryancampbell
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    "The Institute of Emotional Warfare"

    Chapter 1 - The Woman
    Chapter 2 - Understand the Woman
    Chapter 3 - The Mother
    Chapter 4 - The Woman's Mother
    Chapter 5 - How to Endure Hell
    Chapter 6 - The Break Up aka Escaping Hell
    Chapter 7 - Sucking the Pipe of Self-Esteem
    Chapter 8 - Losing Your Fugly to Mr. Ugly
    Chapter 9 - Finding True Love
    Chapter 10 - The Gospel (this chapter contains the book of John from the bible)
    Chapter 11- Giving Your Life to a Greater Love
    Chapter 12 - Meeting Another Woman the Way Intended
    Chapter 13 - Live, Love, and Forgive
    Chapter 14 - Peace with God
    Descyple, Jilly81 and AzureAfire like this.

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    Senior Member AzureAfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Well, you sure got the ball rolling to yet another epic thread / fun house / crazy house / epic crazy fun house, Descyple XD

    Hmm...my Book of Substitutes would be called...

    "Get Lost in Tamriel, not in Love"

    Subtitle: Why it's more fun breaking dragon skulls than breaking hearts (specially yours)

    Chapter 1: Finding the right outfit (Heavy vs. Light armor, and why "pretty in pink" is not a good option)

    Chapter 2: Searching for the One (Why looks mean nothing compared to the potential to power up a soul gem)

    Chapter 3: Sweet Dreams (Why resting and levelling gives more satisfaction than dreaming romantic nonsense)
    Liamson, Descyple, Jilly81 and 2 others like this.

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    Senior Member Descyple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Quote Originally Posted by AzureAfire View Post
    Well, you sure got the ball rolling to yet another epic thread / fun house / crazy house / epic crazy fun house, Descyple XD

    Hmm...my Book of Substitutes would be called...

    "Get Lost in Tamriel, not in Love"

    Subtitle: Why it's more fun breaking dragon skulls than breaking hearts (specially yours)

    Chapter 1: Finding the right outfit (Heavy vs. Light armor, and why "pretty in pink" is not a good option)

    Chapter 2: Searching for the One (Why looks mean nothing compared to the potential to power up a soul gem)

    Chapter 3: Sweet Dreams (Why resting and levelling gives more satisfaction than dreaming romantic nonsense)
    Ah yes, the sweet call of battle from "The Elder Scrolls". A fine choice for a substitute, AzureAfire. Please let me know when your book will be coming out (and please autograph my copy with the name Sydalka Velwyr).
    Jilly81 and AzureAfire like this.
    "Grace is Christ's portrait drawn on the soul." - Thomas Watson

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    Senior Member DuchessAimee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Title: What's Love Got to Do With It? An Autobiography.

    Chapter One: Talk Nerdy to Me.

    Chapter Two: Worthy Obsessions... From Accordions to Zebus.

    Chapter Three: Beware of Chickens

    Chapter Four: Tights Are Not Pants: A Dissertation

    Chapter Five: Glacinda the Troll

    Chapter Six: Hug Me. I'm Great.
    I'll be fine. I think I've figured out how to steer by gesturing emphatically.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Descyple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Quote Originally Posted by DuchessAimee View Post
    Title: What's Love Got to Do With It? An Autobiography.

    Chapter One: Talk Nerdy to Me.

    Chapter Two: Worthy Obsessions... From Accordions to Zebus.

    Chapter Three: Beware of Chickens

    Chapter Four: Tights Are Not Pants: A Dissertation

    Chapter Five: Glacinda the Troll

    Chapter Six: Hug Me. I'm Great.
    DuchessAimee, I would be very interested in reading your book, but I might skip chapter three (it just sounds scary!!!).
    Jilly81, DuchessAimee and PopClick like this.
    "Grace is Christ's portrait drawn on the soul." - Thomas Watson

  7. #7
    Senior Member DuchessAimee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Chickens are tasty but mean... lol
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    I'll be fine. I think I've figured out how to steer by gesturing emphatically.

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    Senior Member Donkeyfish07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Quote Originally Posted by Bryancampbell View Post
    "The Institute of Emotional Warfare"

    Chapter 1 - The Woman
    Chapter 2 - Understand the Woman
    Chapter 3 - The Mother
    Chapter 4 - The Woman's Mother
    Chapter 5 - How to Endure Hell
    Chapter 6 - The Break Up aka Escaping Hell
    Chapter 7 - Sucking the Pipe of Self-Esteem
    Chapter 8 - Losing Your Fugly to Mr. Ugly
    Chapter 9 - Finding True Love
    Chapter 10 - The Gospel (this chapter contains the book of John from the bible)
    Chapter 11- Giving Your Life to a Greater Love
    Chapter 12 - Meeting Another Woman the Way Intended
    Chapter 13 - Live, Love, and Forgive
    Chapter 14 - Peace with God
    Ha ha ha ha ha.....Good luck with Chapter 2 :P
    NodMyHeadLikeYeah likes this.
    Romans 10: 13 - For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

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    Senior Member AzureAfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Quote Originally Posted by Descyple View Post
    Ah yes, the sweet call of battle from "The Elder Scrolls". A fine choice for a substitute, AzureAfire. Please let me know when your book will be coming out (and please autograph my copy with the name Sydalka Velwyr).
    Shhh...that's my secret agent's name, Descyple if "they" find out that you know too much about me, i'll have to "silence" you XD

    I'll mail you said book with my autograph on it XD the compliments are much appreciated!

    I'm having a slow day XD expect a follow-up volume on this book
    Descyple likes this.

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    Senior Member Searching4Truth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Earthly Perspective Book 1

    Chapter 1 - Once upon a time...
    Chapter 2 - Ignorance is bliss
    Chapter 3 - When reality strikes
    Chapter 4 - Coping, and stuff like it (part 1)
    Chapter 5 - Coping, and stuff like it (part 2)
    Chapter 6 - Moving on (part 1)
    Chapter 7 - Moving on (part 2)
    Chapter 8 - Redefining, and Rediscovering
    Chapter 9 - The Spirit of Truth
    Chapter 10 - With all your Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength
    Chapter 11 - "If anyone loves me..."
    chapter 12 - "...for love is from God..."

    It'll be a Times best selling series among the pseudo intellectual christian types out there.


    (Their money has to be put to good use.)
    PopClick likes this.
    "In Memory of When I Cared."

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    Senior Member shawntc's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Oh gosh my book of substitutes would be terribly nerdy, philosophical, and boring.

    "Alternatives to Love"
    Ch. 1: "The Love-Shaped Hole" (musings on the feelings of being loved, and what would be needed to satisfy it to any degree.)
    Ch. 2: "God"
    Ch. 3: "Friendships"
    Ch. 4: "Hobbies"
    Ch. 5: "Pets"
    Ch. 6: "Setting and Achieving Goals"
    Ch. 7: "The Loneliest Hours"
    Ch. 8: "Later Years"
    Ch. 9: "Leaving Something Behind"
    Appendix A: Bibliography

    My book of love would probably be called "Boring ol' Love" and have a pragmatic approach to love and things therein.
    Dext3r Ministries, my ministry blog. Check it out!

    I serve the God of humor and logic.

    I am a Christian nerd. Some people say "Praise the Lord!" I prefer "Epic God is epic!"

  12. #12
    Senior Member Descyple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Some more chapter titles from my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

    Chapter 4 - "How To Fall In Love With Chocolate All Over Again"

    Chapter 5 - "Relationships Are Like A Box of Chocolates, Sometimes They Make You Puke"

    Chapter 6 - "Don't Spread Around Love, Spread Nutella"
    Last edited by Descyple; August 11th, 2013 at 12:42 AM. Reason: I replaced the word "sick" with "puke". It seemed more fitting.
    dliz, Fenner and AzureAfire like this.
    "Grace is Christ's portrait drawn on the soul." - Thomas Watson

  13. #13
    arwen83
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    How did I miss this thread?!

    I'm not sure how to answer this thread about myself. I think I will end up listing off pseudo 'self-help' books in general. Much like my 'Threads You Will Never See In The Singles Forum' thread. I think I am just confused :/

  14. #14
    arwen83
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Descyple, is this thread just like mine but instead of singles forum, its books? Cus if it is *shakes fist*, watch out buddy boy. I know people. TORONTO people. The meanest in the country. Be scared. VERY SCARED.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Fenner's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    My book title.

    Love is grand, now make me a sandwich.
    Descyple and AzureAfire like this.

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    Senior Member AsifinPassing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Reeceian Theology: The Book of Love

    Section 1: Setting the Stage

    CH 1 (of 37) - What is Love? (No, not Haddaway...)

    CH 2 - What is NOT love?

    CH 3 - Divine Love vs Human Love

    CH 4 - Sex

    CH 5 - Intimacy

    CH 6 - Marriage

    CH 7 - Singleness

    ...*writer's block, review, revision, thoughts on ending this section, thoughts on next session, vague cliffhanger message to expectants for book*...
    Last edited by AsifinPassing; August 11th, 2013 at 03:07 PM.
    If you would like, you can visit my Facebook page here.

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  17. #17
    Senior Member Descyple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Some more chapter titles from my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

    Chapter 7 - "Men Are From Mars, That's Why We Eat Mars Bars"

    Chapter 8 - "Take A *Break* From Women and Eat A Kit Kat"

    Chapter 9 - "Why a Chocolate Induced Sugar-Rush Is More Exhilarating Than A First Date"

    Chapter 10 - "Why Am I Still Writing When I Could Go Devour A Sundae?"
    Fenner and AzureAfire like this.
    "Grace is Christ's portrait drawn on the soul." - Thomas Watson

  18. #18
    Senior Member Fenner's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Now that we're married will you shave my back? A man's book of questions for his wife on their wedding night.
    Descyple and AzureAfire like this.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Descyple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    Here are chapters 11-13 of my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"


    Chapter 11 - "The Word Chocolate Has More Letters Than The Word Love - Which Means You Get More Out of Chocolate"

    Chapter 12 - "Why I Am More Moved By The Scent of A Chocolate Bar Wrapper Than A Woman's Perfume"

    Chapter 13 - "When A Woman Breaks Your Heart, Don't Get Revenge, Get Chocolate-Induced Diabetes: That Will Teach Her A Lesson"
    AzureAfire likes this.
    "Grace is Christ's portrait drawn on the soul." - Thomas Watson

  20. #20
    Senior Member Descyple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Book of Love or Your Book of Substitutes

    I just finished chapters 14,15 and 16 of my book "Love Hurts, Chocolate Heals"

    Chapter 14 - "Why Expiry Dates on Chocolates Last Longer Than Expiry Dates on Relationships"

    Chapter 15 - "The Way to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach, So The First Woman To Fill My Belly With Triple Chocolate-Chip Brownie Sundaes Wins My Heart"

    Chapter 16 - "How to Let Go of a Woman and Grab Hold of a Ticket To Niagara Falls to Bask in the Heavenliness of the Hershey Chocolate World Store - Or What I Like To Call The Greatest Place On Earth!!!"
    AzureAfire likes this.
    "Grace is Christ's portrait drawn on the soul." - Thomas Watson

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