Q
Hello. I am new here. You'll have to forgive my directness (is that even a word?) but I tend to get right to the nut of the thang. 
SO! I am a divorced mother in her forties. For twenty years I sacrificed myself and my family so my husband could pursue what he claimed was his calling. He led a large mega church, was much loved by his congregation and sacrificially loved them in return. But as is so often the case (more and more it seems) he was not that man in our home. For years my children and I were the target of his verbal and psychological abuse. I simply believed it was my punishment for being sexually active with him before we were married. But after years and years of prayer God finally allowed what was in darkness to be brought into the light. I no longer had to feel "crazy" for sensing that my husband had not been faithful to me. I was devastated and heartbroken of course but thought now that he had finally been caught, he was going to get help. And I felt a sense of hope. Unfortunately, the temptation provided by a group of church leaders, scared by what a scandal would do to their squeaky clean image, cushioned his fall so well that he was convinced that my failure as a wife was the reason for his momentary stumble. Almost beyond belief, our church leadership believed and supported him in this claim. So with the help of my family (my father himself, a conservative and Biblical preacher for over 30 years) urging me on to remove myself from this very sick and hurtful man, I filed for divorce. Most of church friends, even the closest ones, could not believe my husband was capable of doing anything worthy of divorce. Therefore I lost my friends and my church all while being humiliated in front of my community by being the "Gossip Story of the Year". But after hiding for months I realize that I need people in my life again. Even though it means risking heartbreak. I suppose that is what I am writing a paragraph in my first chatroom experience! One last thing before I bore you all to tears.....I know there is a woman reading this who feels like I'm describing her life. That is another reason I am writing. You are not alone. I hope that we can be an encouragement to one another. I pray that we can be friends. Thanks for listening.
SO! I am a divorced mother in her forties. For twenty years I sacrificed myself and my family so my husband could pursue what he claimed was his calling. He led a large mega church, was much loved by his congregation and sacrificially loved them in return. But as is so often the case (more and more it seems) he was not that man in our home. For years my children and I were the target of his verbal and psychological abuse. I simply believed it was my punishment for being sexually active with him before we were married. But after years and years of prayer God finally allowed what was in darkness to be brought into the light. I no longer had to feel "crazy" for sensing that my husband had not been faithful to me. I was devastated and heartbroken of course but thought now that he had finally been caught, he was going to get help. And I felt a sense of hope. Unfortunately, the temptation provided by a group of church leaders, scared by what a scandal would do to their squeaky clean image, cushioned his fall so well that he was convinced that my failure as a wife was the reason for his momentary stumble. Almost beyond belief, our church leadership believed and supported him in this claim. So with the help of my family (my father himself, a conservative and Biblical preacher for over 30 years) urging me on to remove myself from this very sick and hurtful man, I filed for divorce. Most of church friends, even the closest ones, could not believe my husband was capable of doing anything worthy of divorce. Therefore I lost my friends and my church all while being humiliated in front of my community by being the "Gossip Story of the Year". But after hiding for months I realize that I need people in my life again. Even though it means risking heartbreak. I suppose that is what I am writing a paragraph in my first chatroom experience! One last thing before I bore you all to tears.....I know there is a woman reading this who feels like I'm describing her life. That is another reason I am writing. You are not alone. I hope that we can be an encouragement to one another. I pray that we can be friends. Thanks for listening.
