Dating outside of your denomination

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arwen83

Guest
#1
#1
I was talking to a Christian male on a dating site, I found out what church he belongs to, and I've been to it a handful of times when I was hopping, but for certain reasons I didn't agree with it. I was turned off from that non-denominational church; I didn't feel close to God there. Anyways, I found out that this guy goes there and loves it. To be honest, a part of me became disinterested in the guy, which is fine with me. Am I as picky as I think I am? Or do you feel/felt the same?

Would you date someone that was out of your denomination? Are there certain denominations that you wouldn't date someone from?

(Please Lord, let there be no Catholic-bashing in this thread)
 
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Galatians2-20

Galatians2-20

Senior Member
#2
Mar 17, 2013
261
19
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#2
I've dated a couple girls from different denominations due to a shortage of "Christian" girls in general in my area. One, although religious, wasn't interested in God in the slightest. Her sole motivation for religion was to escape hell. The other, from another denomination, had absolutely no concept that sin after salvation is wrong. Needless to say, neither made it past a few dates. :)
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#3
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
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#3
Well, you should probably have the same theology, and agreed, or you won't be one. Ephesians 4:1-6 gives a list of major doctrines that Christians have. Personally, as someone who is supposed to be leading; if there isn't agreement in the major doctrines, that is a big problem
 
phil36

phil36

Senior Member
#4
Feb 12, 2009
8,260
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#4
Hi arwen,

I don't think denomination is a big problem, but one thing oyu would need to be certain, that you both believe in the essentials, that is what does it mean to be a Christian.. most of the other stuff is secondary and you have you whole lives to discuss them lol.

he next issue is a lot more of a problem, that is if one is protestant and one is Roman catholic (I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong here), There are huge fundamental differences here in belief, not just secondary. You will have to judge that for yourself.

However, at the end of the day, you will have to follow your conscience based on scripture. If there was something you were not happy with ask him for an explanation and take it from there.

Hope that helps even in a small way.
 
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kayem77

Guest
#5
#5
There are denominations that would be an instant turnoff to me, like the Charismatic Movement or Word of Faith churches and, I don't know if this is what you meant by bashing, but I also wouldn't date a Catholic. The way I see it, if you have the foundation wrong, everything else will come crashing down sooner or later. There are doctrines that I woldn't allow myself to put aside for the sake of being politically correct. I don't see it as being picky, I see it as being wise.

Regarding ''non-essential'' doctrines, personally I would like to marry someone who is Reformed in their theology. I don't know if that would be a MUST although I would highly prefer it, but what it is a must is someone who lives out their faith, not an ever-learning but never-acting Christian.
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#6
#6
I don't know if I would or not. In general I try to stay pretty open minded about beliefs and scripture interpretation as far as non-essential things go, but there are a heck of a lot of weird borderline cultish "christian" denominations out there, so I'd have to at least sit down and talk with the person first. Plus if they're in the middle of the whole spiritually driven/biblically driven debate thing I've referenced so many times before, I have no interest whatsoever.
 
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djness

Guest
#7
#7
I don't know why we have denominations, so yes I would.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#8
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
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#8
arwen83 said:
I was talking to a Christian male on a dating site, I found out what church he belongs to, and I've been to it a handful of times when I was hopping, but for certain reasons I didn't agree with it. I was turned off from that non-denominational church; I didn't feel close to God there. Anyways, I found out that this guy goes there and loves it. To be honest, a part of me became disinterested in the guy, which is fine with me. Am I as picky as I think I am? Or do you feel/felt the same?

Would you date someone that was out of your denomination? Are there certain denominations that you wouldn't date someone from?

(Please Lord, let there be no Catholic-bashing in this thread)
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I suspect it is helpful in a marriage for both partners to belong to the same church. People should think about that before they marry.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#9
Jan 15, 2011
6,030
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#9
I really don't see an issue with dating outside of a person's denomination as long as neither one is completely hung up on denominational non-essential doctrines. My mother was raised Methodist and my father was raised Episcopal. As they got to know each other they learned that neither one of them was satisfied with some of the doctrinal stances of those churches and as a result my sister and I were raised in the American Baptist church.

As for myself since my childhood I have attended Calvary Chapel, Assemblies of God, and Christian and Missionary Alliance yet I hold my own doctrinal convictions based on 4 decades of study so I am not sold out on any denomination but on the Word of God.
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#10
#10
arwen83 said:
Would you date someone that was out of your denomination? Are there certain denominations that you wouldn't date someone from?
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No, and yes.

No false gospels permitted, so no:
Catholics
Mormons
Jehovah Witnesses
most pentecostal groups (though still wouldn't hang around the few that aren't heretical)
the ELCA
the PCUSA
the UMC
the UCC
the episcapol
a bunch of others

general scriptural problems:
much of the LCMS (that whole baptismal regeneration thing, and the denial of sovereignty, these issues aside they're okay)
the CoC (and many of their theological cousins)
and much of the "Church of God" types that can be rather heretical


I'm pretty narrow, but I suppose that's not a problem because the gate is small and the path is narrow.

I would accept a number of Presbyterians, Reformed, and generally baptist/evangelical/fundamentalist types.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#11
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#11
jimmydiggs said:
No, and yes.

No false gospels permitted, so no:
Catholics
Mormons
Jehovah Witnesses
most pentecostal groups (though still wouldn't hang around the few that aren't heretical)
the ELCA
the PCUSA
the UMC
the UCC
the episcapol
a bunch of others

general scriptural problems:
much of the LCMS (that whole baptismal regeneration thing, and the denial of sovereignty, these issues aside they're okay)
the CoC (and many of their theological cousins)
and much of the "Church of God" types that can be rather heretical


I'm pretty narrow, but I suppose that's not a problem because the gate is small and the path is narrow.

I would accept a number of Presbyterians, Reformed, and generally baptist/evangelical/fundamentalist types.
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This pretty much sums it up for me as well. Thank you jimmydiggs for saving me a bunch of typing ;) !

Also, right now, I wouldn't date a Lutheran. I am low-carbing it and can't handle all those pastries.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#12
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#12
My answer for myself: No.

For you, there was a reason something didn't "seem right" to you regarding that church. There are some things that some churches refuse to accept (tongues, healing, etc.) that, if you believe and your church believes, will make issues in your relationship, and vice versa.

I have to say, ask God. I think that most of us just assume that as long as they are Christian, that they are the one. Not so. Ask God. He'll tell you. Seek strong godly counsel. And listen to those that are wise. Measure everything against God's word and remember, His word and His will win every time, no matter what the heart wants.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#13
#13
jimmydiggs said:
No, and yes.

No false gospels permitted, so no:
Catholics
Mormons
Jehovah Witnesses
most pentecostal groups (though still wouldn't hang around the few that aren't heretical)
the ELCA
the PCUSA
the UMC
the UCC
the episcapol
a bunch of others

general scriptural problems:
much of the LCMS (that whole baptismal regeneration thing, and the denial of sovereignty, these issues aside they're okay)
the CoC (and many of their theological cousins)
and much of the "Church of God" types that can be rather heretical


I'm pretty narrow, but I suppose that's not a problem because the gate is small and the path is narrow.

I would accept a number of Presbyterians, Reformed, and generally baptist/evangelical/fundamentalist types.
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Must be a different Lutheran system in the US. Here in Australia, we don't deny God's sovereignty etc.
 
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whitedove

Guest
#14
#14
What is this denomination thing anyways?
Don't we all believe in the same God, Son and Holly Spirit?
Don't we use the same bible?
Whaat is doctrines? Different interpretations of the bible and church tradition?
Is God only presents in some church only and not in others?

This thing about denomination always makes me feel a little sick in my stomach. But the reality is, this has been a problem even in the early church's life, between Peter's followers and Paul's followers. And what did the Bible say about that? It doesn't matter if you are fasting or not, eating or not eating certain food, etc, as long as you are doing it from your heart for God.

I wish if there is unityand respect among all christians.
Choose a church where you feel that you can flourish spiritualy. And choose a partner in life that can also be your spiritual partner. The point is, if you get turned off by people from different denominations, it means to can't respect them, so, you better off to find someone from your own denomination.

I dated a coptic christian ( well it didn't work out, but it has nothing to do with his denomination). He has an outstanding spiritual maturity and a very close relationship with God. We used to pray and read the bible together all the time.I wen t to the coptic church many times and sure, I would love to be able to clap or lift up my hands during praising and worship instead of reading solemnly from a liturgy book, but I concentrated on God instead of my surrounding and believe it or nor, I did feel God presence there.

If you are living abroad in a country that is dominated by muslims like me, choosing a church with a certain denomination is a luxury. For some people, they are lucky if they can find a church at all. Now, if that is the case, would you rather not going to church at all?
 
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Mammachickadee

Guest
#15
#15
arwen83 said:
I was talking to a Christian male on a dating site, I found out what church he belongs to, and I've been to it a handful of times when I was hopping, but for certain reasons I didn't agree with it. I was turned off from that non-denominational church; I didn't feel close to God there. Anyways, I found out that this guy goes there and loves it. To be honest, a part of me became disinterested in the guy, which is fine with me. Am I as picky as I think I am? Or do you feel/felt the same?

Would you date someone that was out of your denomination? Are there certain denominations that you wouldn't date someone from?

(Please Lord, let there be no Catholic-bashing in this thread)
Click to expand...
What denomination one aligns with is not as important as what their personal relationship is with Christ. As long as the person does not attend a church that is obviously an occult (ie mormon, jw, muslim, buddhist etc.) I would most likely date the guy were I single.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#16
#16
jimmydiggs said:
No, and yes.

No false gospels permitted, so no:
Catholics
Mormons
Jehovah Witnesses
most pentecostal groups (though still wouldn't hang around the few that aren't heretical)
the ELCA
the PCUSA
the UMC
the UCC
the episcapol
a bunch of others

general scriptural problems:
much of the LCMS (that whole baptismal regeneration thing, and the denial of sovereignty, these issues aside they're okay)
the CoC (and many of their theological cousins)
and much of the "Church of God" types that can be rather heretical


I'm pretty narrow, but I suppose that's not a problem because the gate is small and the path is narrow.

I would accept a number of Presbyterians, Reformed, and generally baptist/evangelical/fundamentalist types.
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I think you forgot the seventh day adventists, wouldn't want you to become to open minded now ;)
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#17
#17
zaoman32 said:
I think you forgot the seventh day adventists, wouldn't want you to become to open minded now ;)
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I did forget about them. Thank you.

I wasn't going to get real specific with the cults and start talking about Shepherd's Chapel, Christian Science, Christadelphians, Oneness/anti-trinitarian theology, the New Age stuff, Open Theism, Swedenborgianism, Universalists, and others I'd probably have to learn about just to know who they are.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#18
#18
Tintin said:
Must be a different Lutheran system in the US. Here in Australia, we don't deny God's sovereignty etc.
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No one ever things they're doing it wrong.



It's generally done by redefining the term sovereign to the extent that the definition used by many in the LCMS is foreign to the notion carried in scripture, and many who share a similar view of soteriology do the same.

The LCMS, to their credit, are generally monergistic (that other side of the monergism coin though), and to that I applaud them. That it seems is where you, and American Lutherans would be different. As I have read thus far, you have presented yourself in the forums about as far from standard Lutheran Monergism as San Fran is from D.C.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#19
#19
I was raised in a non-denominational church, and my husband grew up attending a Baptist church. However, by the time we started dating, I wasn't going to church at all, and he was a practicing Catholic. I went to mass with him once. For me, it was the most uncomfortable thing I'd done in a long time. Kneel because you're supposed to, repeat things because you're supposed to, too many rules and traditions and...ugh. I might have found it to be beautiful had I not been wanting to sneak out the back.

So, due to this, we couldn't go to church together. It caused problems. He would go to mass, and I didn't want to start looking for a church without him.

About five years into our marriage, something- and I'm honestly not sure what, it was between him and God- happened to change his mind about Catholicism. Since then, we've gone to church together :)

If I had it to do over again, I would most likely not date someone of a very different denomination. But I wouldn't change how it was...I just wouldn't want to do it again.
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#20
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#20
arwen83 said:
I was talking to a Christian male on a dating site, I found out what church he belongs to, and I've been to it a handful of times when I was hopping, but for certain reasons I didn't agree with it. I was turned off from that non-denominational church; I didn't feel close to God there. Anyways, I found out that this guy goes there and loves it. To be honest, a part of me became disinterested in the guy, which is fine with me. Am I as picky as I think I am? Or do you feel/felt the same?

Would you date someone that was out of your denomination? Are there certain denominations that you wouldn't date someone from?

(Please Lord, let there be no Catholic-bashing in this thread)
Click to expand...
You have to keep in mind that eventually you'll marry a man who you trust to guide you two spiritually. If he goes to a church that you feel is sketchy, then you have to accept that it is likely that you'll be going to that church with him once you're married. If you have good reason to question the fruit of that church, then it was wise to be turned off by that fact.

I've personally never really looked much into denominations. I go to a great church, but I'm aware that not all churches of my denomination are that great. Conversely, there are several other churches in my area of different denominations which I have found to be solid. I chose mine over those mostly because I had community in my church.

Not everyone agrees with everything their church believes; sometimes they are there because they made friends there. And that is perfectly alright in many cases. I would, rather, look at what the person believes personally and what kind of fruit they produce.
 
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