Men and Honesty
- Thread starter Grace-Like-Rain
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K
I think Honesty is very hard to have when either your trust issues or their trust issues are not addressed. Letting Jesus enter those wounds and heal them on a daily basis is the best therapy. When you're doing the online deal it's easy to embellish your personality and let's be *honest* here; you can be whoever you want online. Every relationship i've ever had with the opposite sex has been long distance, and whether it was due to chronic moving or God was teaching me how to love Him first(since if you think about it, a relationship with Jesus could be viewed as Long distance and if you're not satisfied with Christ first, no person will be able to fill up the God-sized hole in your heart), either way it showed me that if there is supposed to be a wife for this man, God already picked her out and if i don't have her in my life now, it only means she's being worked on too, thus i don't feel the need to go back into ANOTHER long distance relationship to learn what i already knew in the first place. I find that when i am interested in someone rather than taking the 'typical guy role', i am honest about everything. It has been proven in my life that when you set the stage in a real life environment, it leaves little room for 'props' to appear. I also realize that i don't fit in the same mold as 'most guys' since i actually DO like to express myself, listen to how she feels, be honest, communicate and work out the kinks of a relationship. With all of that said, i believe that honesty is vital and no...i could not just tell you this all without placing the extensive back story. I assure you it helped shape the atmosphere!
T
I don't think they're listing honesty as a desired trait because they've had problems with it in the past. They're probably listing it because it's a great trait to have. But also, there's a lot of deception on the internet. My friends like to go "poofing," which means finding girls on Plenty of Fish (POF, I guess the conjugation would be poofing, Idk) and meeting them or taking them out or whatever and there's a common pattern. Most of them have some glaringly obvious physical anomaly that was not portrayed in the pictures. Don't get me wrong, I understand that physical appearance isn't everything, but if you've got a giant scar on the left side of your face and all your online pictures are of the right side of your face... expect the other person to be surprised. It's almost not fair really.. because initial interest is based on being attracted to some one, so you chat them up and then when you finally meet them you realize that you're NOT physically attracted to them, but you're already there so you've gotta play it off and be polite and stuff. I know it sounds shallow, but so is taking misleading pictures. In a roundabout way, I think that might be what people mean by "honesty" sometimes.
U
I don't understand. How did that it found no matches for you ''prove'' that every single male on that site wants a perfect woman? I don't see any connection to,or fairness in, making such a blanket statement. To me this sounds a bit arrogant. And often times arrogance is a mask for insecurity.
Still amazes me how many people accuse one gender of something that is not really a gender issue at all.
Still amazes me how many people accuse one gender of something that is not really a gender issue at all.
Welll!
Honesty or dishonesty HAS no sex. You can find in in both, men or women, the thing is WHAT YOU EXPECT of them, and they make the adjustment to give you what it is expected.
The thiong I have found, being honest, is that I lack what it is expecteed, since I don´t have it, but I re-adjust to God, and enduring love who never lies.
Honesty or dishonesty HAS no sex. You can find in in both, men or women, the thing is WHAT YOU EXPECT of them, and they make the adjustment to give you what it is expected.
The thiong I have found, being honest, is that I lack what it is expecteed, since I don´t have it, but I re-adjust to God, and enduring love who never lies.
I
I know this thread is a few weeks old & apologize for resurrecting it,but I was bored and I was away for a while,so cut me some slack peeps. lol
I think honesty goes hand and hand with communication,at least for me. Communication is perhaps one of the core things I look for in any relationship I have,and even more so in a relationship I am pursuing at a romantic level.
I am a bit ashamed but I signed up at christian mingle for a total of maybe a week or two,and kinda just looked around & read profiles of women 35-47,and I'll be honest,I wasn't impressed at all. It was even more disheartening when I reduced my search to "local" women. One good thing came from going to the site I will say & that was taking this random questions survey they have to determine what "color" you are. I took it while rolling my eyes the entire time,but when I was done I was pretty shocked to read what I did. It was pretty much hitting the nail on the head about myself,how I view other's,the type of things I look for or expect in a relationship...I was really a bit amazed. I scored highest in Blue & got a 68% & my lowest was White,which I think I was 5% in,something very low..Red was #2 followed by Yellow. I'm not gonna go into what all this means,but those of you who've used the site know what I'm talking about.
Anyways,rambling here...but I kept getting all these crazy requests from women I was supposedly compatible with. I never answered back & I certainly wasn't about to pay $$$ to a company that randomly generates women for you to get to know. Bleh!
So honesty...yes...sooooooooooo important! No one likes to be deceived,and like I think Shoryu mentioned (concerning something as trivial as height) The person you are interested in is going to find out eventually all these things about you...so why lie??????? If you are so insecure about what you are or what you look like or what you job is,etc... then maybe you are not secure or ready enough to be thinking about dating or marriage. I understand that people want to present themselves in the best possible light,but really...the best possible light to present yourself in,is the light of the Holy Spirit. After all,the person you are looking to impress,should be impressed the most with the fact that you are sold out to Jesus & love Him with all your being. Everything else about that person that you come to love or be impressed by is just icing on the cake.
I think honesty goes hand and hand with communication,at least for me. Communication is perhaps one of the core things I look for in any relationship I have,and even more so in a relationship I am pursuing at a romantic level.
I am a bit ashamed but I signed up at christian mingle for a total of maybe a week or two,and kinda just looked around & read profiles of women 35-47,and I'll be honest,I wasn't impressed at all. It was even more disheartening when I reduced my search to "local" women. One good thing came from going to the site I will say & that was taking this random questions survey they have to determine what "color" you are. I took it while rolling my eyes the entire time,but when I was done I was pretty shocked to read what I did. It was pretty much hitting the nail on the head about myself,how I view other's,the type of things I look for or expect in a relationship...I was really a bit amazed. I scored highest in Blue & got a 68% & my lowest was White,which I think I was 5% in,something very low..Red was #2 followed by Yellow. I'm not gonna go into what all this means,but those of you who've used the site know what I'm talking about.
Anyways,rambling here...but I kept getting all these crazy requests from women I was supposedly compatible with. I never answered back & I certainly wasn't about to pay $$$ to a company that randomly generates women for you to get to know. Bleh!
So honesty...yes...sooooooooooo important! No one likes to be deceived,and like I think Shoryu mentioned (concerning something as trivial as height) The person you are interested in is going to find out eventually all these things about you...so why lie??????? If you are so insecure about what you are or what you look like or what you job is,etc... then maybe you are not secure or ready enough to be thinking about dating or marriage. I understand that people want to present themselves in the best possible light,but really...the best possible light to present yourself in,is the light of the Holy Spirit. After all,the person you are looking to impress,should be impressed the most with the fact that you are sold out to Jesus & love Him with all your being. Everything else about that person that you come to love or be impressed by is just icing on the cake.
I agree with your thoughts on Christian Mingle. And yeah, that color thing is brilliant. It pegged me completely, and was really mind-blowingly accurate in how I relate to others of different colors. I found it very useful to read about how a blue and a white would interact, etc. Problems that they might have, and ways they might compliment one another. Everyone else I spoke with who'd done the quiz said it was amazingly accurate, as well.
(I was a blue, too.)
(I was a blue, too.)
Itore: Thanks for bumping this thread. I somehow missed seeing it before.
^^Agreed! I think a lot of people would probably LIKE to shade things in their favor. But really, even if you fool everyone else with lies, God knows what you've done.
And besides, if you choose to lie about something, how are you going to keep your lies straight? 0.o I just helped one of my friends catch a guy online who had been lying to her, and he had dropped plenty of red flags and things that didn't line up. Eventually everything came crashing down. (The guy was not on cc, so don't anybody start guessing.)
Aaaaand I am just now remembering that I told everyone I was a turnip, so my words about honesty might not carry much weight...
^^Agreed! I think a lot of people would probably LIKE to shade things in their favor. But really, even if you fool everyone else with lies, God knows what you've done.
And besides, if you choose to lie about something, how are you going to keep your lies straight? 0.o I just helped one of my friends catch a guy online who had been lying to her, and he had dropped plenty of red flags and things that didn't line up. Eventually everything came crashing down. (The guy was not on cc, so don't anybody start guessing.
)Aaaaand I am just now remembering that I told everyone I was a turnip, so my words about honesty might not carry much weight...
Ugly nailed it dead on. Sites that receive advertising revenue have absolutely no control over the ads that show up on their page. From what I understand the ad services use programming to browse the site and then place ads according to what keywords are found. To use CC as an example, a thread in the forums discussing the biblical view of homosexuality would likely trigger ads for homosexual sites which is why we don't use ads as a source of revenue.
