Men and Honesty

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Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#1
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#1
Okay so I joined eHarmony a while back during a lonely phase, and I look through my matches every now and then to see what's up. I can't help by notice that literally 90% of the men I'm matched with lately have "honesty" listed in their profile as the one thing they most want in a woman. The first couple of times I saw it, I didn't think anything about it. But after that many people stressed that they needed honesty, I have to wonder...

Are honest women so hard to find these days? That seems like an answer someone would give if they'd had problems with dishonest women in the past, right? I dunno, I just found it a little strange.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#2
#2
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Okay so I joined eHarmony a while back during a lonely phase, and I look through my matches every now and then to see what's up. I can't help by notice that literally 90% of the men I'm matched with lately have "honesty" listed in their profile as the one thing they most want in a woman. The first couple of times I saw it, I didn't think anything about it. But after that many people stressed that they needed honesty, I have to wonder...

Are honest women so hard to find these days? That seems like an answer someone would give if they'd had problems with dishonest women in the past, right? I dunno, I just found it a little strange.
Click to expand...
A woman I know who met her eventual husband (my ex-roommate) on eHarmony told me that men were consistently dishonest on the site in one specific area.

Height. Apparently, the men she met, except for my roomie, all lied about their height. To me, it seems a stupid thing to lie about, because you're going to get found out, obviously. But for Bethany, it was particularly obviously, because "when you're a 5'11" woman, no lie, you know immediately when the man you just met is definitely not 6 foot or taller."

*shrug* I'm really 5'8. I wish I was taller.

(For those of you wondering, Mia is at least 5'11". One of the many reasons why I refuse to get my hopes up. ^_^ )
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#3
#3
I by no means have an actual answer for this...

But I think, often, women play more games while dating than men do. Women are more likely, in my opinion, to play coy, or try and be "mysterious", or hide the ugly parts of themselves, than men are.

Maybe that's what's going on? I don't really know. That's just...an idea.

Now I'm gonna go sit over there ---> and wait for someone to take this all wrong :D
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#4
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#4
Shouryu said:
A woman I know who met her eventual husband (my ex-roommate) on eHarmony told me that men were consistently dishonest on the site in one specific area.

Height. Apparently, the men she met, except for my roomie, all lied about their height. To me, it seems a stupid thing to lie about, because you're going to get found out, obviously. But for Bethany, it was particularly obviously, because "when you're a 5'11" woman, no lie, you know immediately when the man you just met is definitely not 6 foot or taller."

*shrug* I'm really 5'8. I wish I was taller.

(For those of you wondering, Mia is at least 5'11". One of the many reasons why I refuse to get my hopes up. ^_^ )
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Ah, yes, men and their height, and women with their weight. I guess we all have touchy insecurities. 5'8" isn't short though Shouryu. Isn't the average female about 5'5"? You're in the clear. ;)

I had a guy lie to me about his age once. It was so silly, because it wouldn't have been an issue had he not lied about it. (And then lied again to excuse the first lie.) As it was, I never felt I could really trust him after that.

MissCris said:
I by no means have an actual answer for this...

But I think, often, women play more games while dating than men do. Women are more likely, in my opinion, to play coy, or try and be "mysterious", or hide the ugly parts of themselves, than men are.

Maybe that's what's going on? I don't really know. That's just...an idea.

Now I'm gonna go sit over there ---> and wait for someone to take this all wrong :D
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Women do seem to be more devious than men, generally speaking. I just hate to think of that many men out there trying to recover from dishonest women. Ugh. :-/
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#5
#5
I had a guy lie to me about his age once, too. He's about 9 months younger than me, and was worried that because I was 16, and he was 15, I wouldn't like him. Silly stuff.

It stinks that so many women ARE dishonest, in whatever manner. Makes things harder for the good ones out there.

I don't really know what I'm doing in here, I'm married and should just hush and get back in my corner.

:D
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#6
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#6
MissCris said:
I had a guy lie to me about his age once, too. He's about 9 months younger than me, and was worried that because I was 16, and he was 15, I wouldn't like him. Silly stuff.

It stinks that so many women ARE dishonest, in whatever manner. Makes things harder for the good ones out there.

I don't really know what I'm doing in here, I'm married and should just hush and get back in my corner.

:D
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I wandered into the young adult forum today. It's fun to be bad sometimes. Ha. Whipper snappers...

Age for me isn't such a big deal as life experience. I'm at this weird age right now... Some people my age have been married, lost their spouse, are raising kids, or even almost finished raising kids. Then others the same age may be single, never married, and wanting to begin a family. They are at the beginning of their "settling down" journey, kind of, right? While the first group of people are well into the journey. It can be confusing, thinking about how people at each end of the spectrum would fit in with me.

I'm rambling. I should go to bed. I think the paint on my walls is finally dry.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Okay so I joined eHarmony a while back during a lonely phase, and I look through my matches every now and then to see what's up. I can't help by notice that literally 90% of the men I'm matched with lately have "honesty" listed in their profile as the one thing they most want in a woman. The first couple of times I saw it, I didn't think anything about it. But after that many people stressed that they needed honesty, I have to wonder...

Are honest women so hard to find these days? That seems like an answer someone would give if they'd had problems with dishonest women in the past, right? I dunno, I just found it a little strange.
Click to expand...
I think it's a problem on both sides. Just that you're only seeing one side of it.
 
D

didymos

Guest
#8
#8
Honesty is such a lonely word...

[video=youtube;Z6NyOvgzG1o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6NyOvgzG1o[/video]


 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#9
#9
I once joined eHarmony during a rare 'lonely phase', and 90% of the women matched to me were all Harley-loving biker girls.

...but at least they were honest by putting pictures of all (most?) of their tattoos and piercings in their online profiles.

I gotta agree with Ugly on this one. I think it's a 'both sides of the coin are the same thing' thing.
 
Yowie

Yowie

Senior Member
#10
Aug 31, 2013
193
1
0
#10
I think honesty is vital in a relationship.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#11
#11
Yes, honesty would be a big one for me but I've never been in a relationship.
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#12
#12
I think how women communicate isn't well understood by men and be often misconstrued as dishonesty to one extent or another. Most men are very direct. They can tell a story in 10 words or less. Most women give a lot more attention to detail which can be perceived as avoiding the truth. For instance "Jack went up the beanstalk and killed the giant." Vs "there was once a young man born a poor woman in a dusty cottage. One day he tossed beans out the window and much to his amazement a huge beanstalk grew and split the sky..." You get the picture. Also, ladies sometimes men just get list and all our words trying to figure out what the heck out point is.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#13
#13
Its true, women do Speak with more detail, but to add to the confusion, women are also notorious for their non-verbal messages. Women tend to drop hints and such, rather than say what they want or need to. Men are not naturally inclined to pick up these cues, so they are typically unnoticed by men. Which women view as being ignored.
Its kind of funny, women are detailed in speech, but also rely on dropping vague hints. And they wonder why men are confused! hahaha
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#14
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#14
NukePooch said:
I once joined eHarmony during a rare 'lonely phase', and 90% of the women matched to me were all Harley-loving biker girls.

...but at least they were honest by putting pictures of all (most?) of their tattoos and piercings in their online profiles.

I gotta agree with Ugly on this one. I think it's a 'both sides of the coin are the same thing' thing.
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Oh no, haha... Hmmm, you must have answered your survey like a biker. :p Most of the ones I was matched with are artist types, which can be quite interesting. Lots of photos of them in character for theater productions. ;-)
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#15
#15
Honesty is good, but tact is a close second. Tact and grace, men, tact and grace.
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#16
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#16
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Okay so I joined eHarmony a while back during a lonely phase, and I look through my matches every now and then to see what's up. I can't help by notice that literally 90% of the men I'm matched with lately have "honesty" listed in their profile as the one thing they most want in a woman. The first couple of times I saw it, I didn't think anything about it. But after that many people stressed that they needed honesty, I have to wonder...

Are honest women so hard to find these days? That seems like an answer someone would give if they'd had problems with dishonest women in the past, right? I dunno, I just found it a little strange.
Click to expand...
Hmm - I think we all want honesty - to find someone who is real, sad thing is we are afraid of being real with people, and knowing people intimately - warts and all
 
C

colalella2891

Guest
#17
#17
Ugly said:
I think it's a problem on both sides. Just that you're only seeing one side of it.
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Agreed. Guys can be very dishonest... A friend of my sister's from high school was used for sex by her boyfriend. Many guys can get a girl in bed just by simply telling them what they want to hear. Men are just as guilty.
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#18
#18
Yes my brain goes from one topic to another quickly. However I've learned to say "insert transition sentence here" to help those men listening. :)
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#19
#19
Yeah, guys are no more or less dishonest than women. A lot of times it's a case of "takes one to know one" someone who is dishonest may not see it as a big deal in themselves, but they can't stand seeing it in others. So in some cases these people looking for honesty so much, could very well be dishonest.

For me, I don't feel honesty is something that should be stressed or even really asked for. I was cheated on and lied to about it even after my wife at the time admitted it, so honesty is not something I take lightly at all, but again, it shouldn't be asked for, it should be expected. "You're looking for honesty? Great, aren't we all! Thank you captain obvious." Nobody wants dishonesty. Nobody wants to be hurt or lied to, so to me asking for honesty is kind of pointless. It should really go without saying.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#20
Apr 18, 2013
9,328
2,417
113
#20
Jordache said:
I think how women communicate isn't well understood by men and be often misconstrued as dishonesty to one extent or another. Most men are very direct. They can tell a story in 10 words or less. Most women give a lot more attention to detail which can be perceived as avoiding the truth. For instance "Jack went up the beanstalk and killed the giant." Vs "there was once a young man born a poor woman in a dusty cottage. One day he tossed beans out the window and much to his amazement a huge beanstalk grew and split the sky..." You get the picture. Also, ladies sometimes men just get list and all our words trying to figure out what the heck out point is.
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Yes...
and...
sometimes people just lie.
: )

The bible says we're part of a fallen race, and we all have sin.
So who do you think lies?
Everyone maybe?


Everyone has sin.

On top of that, by most people's observation,
and by most people's understanding of scripture,
morality in the world seems to be spiraling downward.

So who lies?
Everyone.

Who has been lied to?
Everyone.

You meet a woman... she's been lied to.
You meet a man... he's been lied to.

It's the world we live in.

If you can BE a woman who doesn't lie... you'll look pretty great to good man.
If you can BE a man who doesn't lie... you'll look pretty great to a good woman.

: )
 
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